Morning Look: Mike James on Supernanny
I had no idea how many Wizards fans watch Supernanny, the ABC show about domestic unpleasantness. Several of you wrote asking for my reaction to Mike James's appearance last week on this program, which I had never before seen. I finally watched the episode last night, and goodness, why would anyone submit themselves to that viewing experience? Especially anyone with children, who maybe has had one or two mild disagreements with a spouse about, say, bedtime routine for one's own two-year old.
I mean, it's not the most joyous conversation in the world, whether conducted in a D.C. rowhouse or a stunning Houston mansion. And on top of that, the Reality TV press insisted on calling James a member of the Hornets. This is the Wizards! The team that makes you smile with delight, not shudder and go home and hug your wife!
To keep you from living through that nightmare, here is some sample dialog, concerning bed-time routine. Interspersed are the post-production clips of the Supernanny calling James combative and uncordial and so on. Seriously good times. About as much fun as watching a 20-point home loss to the Pacers. And sure, the episode gives us the kiss-and-make-up segments at the end, but one's mind is still polluted by the unpleasantness.
Mike James: I don't care. It's not that important.
Supernanny: So what challenges do you think [your wife is] gonna address whilst you're gone?
MJ: Being away from me. That's it. That's our biggest challenge.
SN: How does it make you feel when you know that your wife's tired and she's depleted?
MJ: One thing I learned is, especially in this world, first there ain't no rest for the weary. I'm tired and depleted also, I'm tired, but you know what, I'm tired of getting up every single morning at 7:30 in the morning....
SN: Yeah, I understand that, but I'm asking you about your wife.
MJ: I'm just saying though, what I'm trying to explain to you is I'm doing what I'm supposed to do on the court. She has to do what she has to do as far as with the business, with the finances, everything else....So I see more than what you have seen in the past 24 hours, not even 24 hours. You can't come to a conclusion on a situation in less than 12 hours.
SN: I'm about to show you how I can.
MJ: Bullcrap. I refuse to believe that. it's always easier to deal with somebody else's children, but until you have your own, you'll never....
SN: Well, that's very arrogant, very arrogant.
MJ: It's not, it's true.
SN: You're not even giving me a chance....
MJ: I'm giving you a chance.....You can't come to a better assessment of my family than I can. You can't.
SN: To help resolve these situations, that's exactly what I am gonna do, otherwise I wouldn't be here.
MJ: Ok. I ain't got nothing to say. Ok.
And so it goes. They argue about where the kids should sleep, how they should be put to bed, whether they should go swimming, which direction James should wipe their bottoms, and that's not even including yet another fight later in the show during which James drops this line: "You know what's funny though? Ever since you've been here you've judged me....You don't even know me....Let me explain something to you, I'm probably one of the must humble people you'll ever meet."
It's just agonizing to watch, and it pretty much fits into the Wizards' season perfectly. They trade for a new guard, and he's featured on a nationally televised ABC show, which sounds like great publicity. Then the episode airs, and for 75 percent of it the producers have James looking like a selfish, egocentric, quick-tempered, overly defensive, arrogant, self-centered jerk.
I've never met the dude, and I'm guessing many fans haven't either, but this particular 45 minutes wouldn't make them want to. When is it going to be January, 2007 again?
Great house, though. And he has a nice basketball court.
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