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Jim Zorn Sells Great Tickets



A colleague excitedly told me that Jim Zorn had personally invited him to become a Redskins season ticket holder earlier this week. Turns out he's personally inviting a whole bunch of people, though not yet me, unfortunately. Even if he's not personally inviting you, though, you can watch this video in which he appears to personally invite you to help pay Albert Haynesworth's salary join the team.

You really should go watch it yourself. Zorn clearly has a passion for sales. But in case you're jammed for time, here's the text.

Zorn

"Hey, congratulations and welcome to the team! We look forward to seeing you at FedEx field for the 2009 football season!"

Larry Michael

"Congratulations. Your patience has paid off. You've reached the top of the Redskins season ticket waiting list and you're now eligible for Washington Redskins season tickets. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Don't miss out."

Well, my friend signed up within the past decade. So this is definitely once-in-a-lifetime, if you plan on dying within 10 years.

"With 200,000 fans on the waitlist behind you, this chance might not be yours again for a long, long time."

Though you can always buy those "returns" every single week next year.

"Join the legions of fans who have had season tickets in their families for generations. Redskins tickets are very affordable. Prices start as low as $44 a game. Season parking is available as well. It's the best value around in sports entertainment."

Guess that sounds better than "It's the 28th best value around in NFL entertainment."

"Start your own Redskins game day tradition. Tailgate with family and friends and have great views of all the action each Redskins game day."

Unless you get a seat behind a column.

"If there's a game you can't attend, you can resell your tickets on StubHub at any price!"

Then you can sit back and read the national media mock your fan base for weeks on end!

"Join the team today! The wait is over! You can be part of Redskins Nation in person at FedEx Field. Pay only $100 deposit per season ticket and get your seat assignment in May 2009."

(From the site: You will have 14 days from the date you are notified of seat location in which to make payment. Failure to purchase season tickets once they are offered will result in forfeiture of deposit. Each new account requires a $100.00 per seat activation fee.)

"You can reserve up to eight season tickets. As a welcome gift, you'll receive a $25 Redskins retail store gift card. Seats are assigned in the order deposits are received, so don't delay! Here's Coach Jim Zorn with the playcall on how you can join the team:"

Zorn

[Footage of him leading Hip Hip Hooray chant in locker room.]

"Now to get started with your account, just click on the button below, or just click on the video. Either one. Do it today. And Hip, Hip....no no no, Hail to the Redskins!"

By Dan Steinberg  |  March 12, 2009; 1:38 PM ET
Categories:  Media , Redskins  
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Next: Virginia Tech Puts Scare Into NIT Fans

Comments

I haved received a letter from the Redskins for the past 3 years telling me that I have reached the top of the wait list. I had signed up in 1998 and started to get the letter in the 2006-2007 season.
The thing that I find funny about the difference between the letter that I received and the transcript from the video is that my letter says, “Resell your tickets at a PROFIT via StubHub for any game you are unable to attend!”, while Larry says, "If there's a game you can't attend, you can resell your tickets on StubHub at any price!” I am sure there are people that are lining up on StubHub to by tickets to preseason games for over ticket value…

Oh, and my letter also says that I can enjoy a variety of food and beverage choices, including Johnny Rockets! I wonder how the rat problem is coming.

Posted by: _newt_ | March 12, 2009 2:35 PM | Report abuse

StubHub - Proudly supported by Steeler Nation.

Posted by: StetSportsBlog | March 12, 2009 3:28 PM | Report abuse

I love the Skins, but I'd have a hard time buying anything that's being hocked by Larry Michael.

Posted by: CDon | March 12, 2009 3:37 PM | Report abuse

Funny, cause I also got a "personal" e-mail from "Coach Zorn." Incredible how lame and corny they are. What a bunch of dumba$$es! BTW, I will never put another dime in the pocket of Dan $nyder. Signed up AS A JOKE!!

Posted by: nojunk4me | March 12, 2009 5:46 PM | Report abuse

""Start your own Redskins game day tradition. Tailgate with family and friends and have great views of all the action each Redskins game day."

Unless you get a seat behind a column."

Yeah, you and my wife. When the Zorn video panned from the nosebleeds, she said, "Wow, you can see the WHOLE field from there."

But they're freakin' ants. I'd rather play Dodge the Pole in OV than pay 2x$100 for the rights to buy tickets that let me watch from an a vantage so bad I'd be forced to rent a KangarooTV and a magnifying glass to see what's going on.

Seriously, though, I see no reason to shell out $100 "deposits" that apparently translate into application fees when I can grab obstructed views for face, see 80% of the game from the lower level, and look real smart when it rains. Hip hip.

Btw -- the Skins ticket office sold extras the week of the game at face for I believe every game last season. You had to act fast to get general admission before they were left with just club, but they're hurting.

Posted by: WorstSeat | March 13, 2009 9:25 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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