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Michael Westbrook Beats Up Pudgy White Guy

Is there no limits to which the 21st century human sports celebrity will go in an effort to prolong said celebrity? Evidently not, but who cares when it's bloody great entertainment, in 21-minute blocks.

As promised during my chat last week, Michael Westbrook was on MTV's Bully Beatdown last night, a program in which, as far as I can gather, "bullies" get punched in the head for our entertainment and small sums of money. Brilliant concept. Much better than the old teammate-getting-punched-in-the-head trick, which yields neither entertainment nor small sums of money.

Anyhow, in this week's episode, some pasty and pudgy 6-7 dude named Vince is paired up against Westbrook, who is oft-described in the program as a Tae Kwon Do black belt and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu brown belt (though not an NFL bust) and looks to be in fairly good shape for a 36-year old. Devin Thomas should be so ripped. Kind of frightening, frankly.

"That was like the dark warrior I envision in my dreams every night," one of the bully's victims says of Westbrook.

"That guy is like an action figure," the other victim says.

"I'm gonna handle this for both of y'all, all right," said Westbrook, a true American hero if ever there was one.

And all I could think about was whether Kwame Brown would one day be on a similar show. Or Heath Shuler, though he seems to be occupied at the moment.

"This is your last chance, homeboy," Westbrook says to Vince before pummeling him. Wonder if Stephen Davis got such a courtesy.

First was a round of grappling, in which Westbrook made Vince tap out four times in five minutes and also gave him what the host described as the "fruit salad in the face treatment." Don't ask. Then came a round of kick-boxing, which lasted 56 seconds until the ref, or the actor playing the ref, or whatever, stepped in. [Ok, apparently he's some sort of famous ref, slumming like Westbrook.]

"I think it's safe to say that getting punched by Michael Westbrook sucks," one of the victims said approvingly.

"It felt like getting hit by a hammer," Vince said. "He's a strong dude."

Look, whatever your feelings on Westbrook the Redskin, I can't possibly recommend this episode highly enough.

By Dan Steinberg  |  March 30, 2009; 3:38 PM ET
Categories:  Fighting Sports , Redskins  
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Can't watch the video at work, but the ref looks like John McCarthy. He's about as legit as they come.

Posted by: tha_prophet | March 30, 2009 4:14 PM | Report abuse

This is one of the better things that has ever been on MTV.

Posted by: MaxWass | March 30, 2009 4:18 PM | Report abuse

This is one of the better things that has ever been on TV.

Posted by: Barno1 | March 30, 2009 4:55 PM | Report abuse

Steinberg, I'm know Westbrook apologist, but I don't think he's doing it to extend his celebrity status....peep the article from 04/08

Posted by: rtramonte5500 | March 30, 2009 5:02 PM | Report abuse

"slumming" is a relative term, right? Not sure that's what I would use here.

Posted by: NateinthePDX | March 30, 2009 7:27 PM | Report abuse

I still can't believe these kind of shows are real; there is a high probability that it is staged

Posted by: A2daRon | March 31, 2009 2:00 AM | Report abuse

Is it wrong to root for the other guy?

Posted by: alex35332 | March 31, 2009 8:17 AM | Report abuse

I found that highly entertaining, against my better judgment.

Posted by: Lindemann777 | March 31, 2009 9:07 AM | Report abuse

Hi Barno! Miss you over at RI!

Posted by: Alan4 | March 31, 2009 9:24 AM | Report abuse

Lindemann777, that was how I felt. I watched it last night and felt too ashamed to comment. MTV shows are horrible. The production is decent, but the writing(yes, writing) and editing are horrible. This is no different, but I had to watch it even though I knew what would happen. Would it really have been too much to show the entire first round of grappling? It was a 3 minute round. I'm just glad I didn't watch it on television where there would have been 30 minutes of commercials. The Trojan commercials and whatever the other thing was were bad enough.

"That was like the dark warrior I envision in my dreams every night"
That was one of the strangest and funniest things I've ever heard anyone say.

Posted by: sitruc | March 31, 2009 9:32 AM | Report abuse

Steinberg, why all the snarkiness. Westbrook-Davis happened in 1997. Let it go. I am sure Davis has.

Posted by: learnedhand1 | March 31, 2009 10:05 AM | Report abuse

"looks to be in fairly good shape for a 36-year old."

Actually Dan, he looks to be in good shape. Period. Evander Holyfield is 46, and he also looks to be in good shape. For any age.

Are you one of those guys with a spare tire and legs that look like chop sticks, and you blame it on being "over 30" rather than your lifestyle?

Posted by: Alan4 | March 31, 2009 10:21 AM | Report abuse

I guess Dan was wrong to say the guy looks to be in good shape for his age. We've never seen former football players get away from the workouts and everything after their career is over and look like a different person shortly afterwards. Of course that doesn't matter though. It's just wrong to say somebody looks good for their age.

Posted by: sitruc | March 31, 2009 12:20 PM | Report abuse

I thought that the description of Westbrook also included a reference to him being the 2008 Jiu Jitsu world champion. If he only has a brown belt in Jiu Jitsu, and assuming that there are more than 150 black belts in the world, do you think that there were Vegas odds less favorable than the Nats winning it all this year? If so, do you think Stephen Davis made that bet?

Posted by: KingME1 | March 31, 2009 2:32 PM | Report abuse

...It's just wrong to say somebody looks good for their age.

Posted by: sitruc | March 31, 2009 12:20 PM

Not wrong, just *silly* when someone's ripped 8 ways from Sunday. The reigning Mr Olympia, Dexter Jackson, is 39. Is he in good shape for his age, or is he just in remarkable shape? His age is a nonfactor in this competition, he won by impressing the judges more than anyone else.

Likewise, Westbrook is in great shape. For any age.

Posted by: Alan4 | March 31, 2009 3:18 PM | Report abuse

Welcome to the Bog.

Posted by: sitruc | March 31, 2009 3:40 PM | Report abuse

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