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Four and 1/2 Reasons Tonight's Wiz Game Is Awful

This is how the Memphis media is hyping up tonight's big Wiz game. (Image via Commercial Appeal)

This has been a long, long, long season of ignominious misery for the Wiz, but tonight at Memphis has the potential to be among the drabbest of moments. Here are four and a half reasons why. (Yes, this wasn't good enough for five.)

1) The buzz in Memphis for tonight's game is.....huh? What? Sorry. Dozed off there.

Anyhow, there seems to be some other basketball related story in Memphis right this moment. Like, the top nine links on the Commercial Appeal's front page right now--not the sports front, the front of the entire Web site--have to do with John Calipari. And it's in that context that the Wiz come to town. If local sports talk mentions the word "Wizard" once today, it will only be in comparing Cal to the Wizard of Westwood.

2) Actually, I'll just let this line from the paper's preview box do all the talking: "TV, radio: No local television, WRBO-FM (103.5)." That's called buzz.

3) The Wiz are 17-58, for a .227 winning percentage, second-worst in the league. The Griz are 19-54 for a .260 winning percentage, fourth-worst in the league. Bad NBA teams are really bad, but just for comparison, the combined record of 36-112 through 148 games would put the Wiz/Griz on pace for the worst 162-game record in Major League baseball history. But those 2003 Tigers at least played other teams. Tonight it's all bad.

4) There is one reason to watch this game: the best player on either team, Gilbert Arenas, is so loopy that he's said he might play even though he's previously said that he wouldn't, and his coach has said that he wouldn't, and the team's radio play-by-play man has blogged that he won't. Probably this won't be decided until Gil plays best out of three Parcheesi with Nick Young in the back bathroom of the bus on the way to the arena. So you can flip on the game for pre-game, find out Gil is not playing, and then immediately go back to watching the Caps play the NHL's worst team. Thank heavens it's an American Idol night.

5) Ok, one more half of a reason to watch: the fans and media members of both teams are lusting after Blake Griffin. Memphis columnist Ron Higgins, for example, wants the Griz to beg borrow or steal him. With the fourth and second-most number of ping pong balls, though, together they don't even half 50-50 odds, plus one of the teams will suffer an unfortunate win tonight, driving their combined winning percentage up. So really, nothing good can come of this.

By Dan Steinberg  |  April 1, 2009; 11:09 AM ET
Categories:  Wizards  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Gilbert Insults Minnesota Basketball
Next: When the Redskins Became the RedHawks


More importantly, Ben Olsen goes to Ben's Chili Bowl. Sure, he got tuna, but still. He had two hot women and a cute babe with him. Kwame Brown has nothing on Ben Olsen.

Posted by: sitruc | April 1, 2009 11:35 AM | Report abuse

this works better:
good looking though sitruc.

Posted by: DadRyan | April 1, 2009 12:07 PM | Report abuse

why aren't the links being embedded?weird.

Posted by: DadRyan | April 1, 2009 12:08 PM | Report abuse

The bog doesn't allow embedding or any sort of html like some other voices pages on the

Posted by: sitruc | April 1, 2009 1:05 PM | Report abuse

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