Accused Fla. Steroid Dealer Implicates Caps, Nats
Polk County (Fla.) officials marched out in front of the cameras last night, helpfully surrounded by thousands of doses of anabolic steroids, to announce the arrests of 35-year old Richard Thomas and his wife for allegedly dealing juice in Central Florida. What officials said they couldn't yet confirm was Thomas's claim that he had sold to a variety of athletes in virtually every sport, specifically including players from the Caps and the Nats. Which leads to a few key questions:
1) If these officials can't confirm the Caps and the Nats part of it, why bring it up at a press conference, guaranteeing hundreds of sensationalistic Web headlines within hours? Ok, I guess the question sort of contains the answer.
2) How surprised were you to learn that Thomas's was a former bodybuilder who, according to the Ledger, had "numerous semiautomatic guns, shotguns and an automatic AR-15 assault rifle in the home," and required three sets of handcuffs to bring down? And well done, bringing the guns and drugs and bodybuilding trophies to the press conference. That'll keep the media from going the sensationalistic route.
3) Is it worse PR for the Caps to share a headline with the word "steroids," or with the word "Nats"?
4) If the Nats actually have a problem with juicers, is the best joke the one about steroids being completely ineffectual, or the one about what their record would be without juicing?
Anyhow, the sheriff, Grady Judd, said it was the largest steroid bust in Polk County history, estimating the value of the seized drugs at $200,000, according to Tampa's WFLA, which also has video of the press conference. Among other charges, both husband and wife earned 10 counts of possession of steroids with intent to sell. And, in the most bizarrely ominous quote of the night, the sheriff said "there will be a whole lot of people puckered up after they see the morning news."
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