Nationals Tarp Fail
In case you didn't hear, the Nationals tarp failed Saturday night, which led to fans rushing down out of the stands in a futile attempt to help, security guards lending their muscle, security guards comically slipping and falling in the middle of the field, Anderson Hernandez sprinting to get out of the way of the action, and general jovial mayhem.
"They're having a tough time getting that tarp...." one of the Phillies broadcasters observed
"They sure are," the other said.
"They need more manpower," the conversation continued. Yeah, tell me about it.
In the end, they declared a do-over, and just started again. Too bad you can't do that with a season. And, in an absolutely mandatory but nonetheless satisfying conclusion, the remaining fans gave a rousing ovation to the successful tarping of the field.
This was not the Nats story of the weekend that most intrigued me. That would be the story of a new promotion involving sausages being inserted into and then fired from t-shirt guns, only problem being the sausages disintegrate under such explosive stress. Whether or not that story is true, I have no idea, though I pray nightly that someone sends me a photo of a disintegrated sausage. In the meantime, five possible reasons for the tarp failure.
1) When team officials purchased the tarp, they had no idea that it was actually 21 years old.
2) Due to an administrative mistake, the outside of the team's tarp storage unit reads not "Tarp" but "Trap." Bad for morale, if nothing else.
3) It was the late innings at Nats Park, things weren't going too well, and you're going to bring in reinforcements for relief? I mean, what do you think is going to happen? They're lucky the stadium didn't burn down.
4) Random joke about Jim Bowden being incompetent and/or the Lerners being cheap.
5) This is Washington. Despite the best of intentions, TARP was always doomed to failure.
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