Redskins Unveil Lottery Scratchers
"Redskins fans and lottery fans have an awful lot in common," the executive director of the Virginia Lottery said this afternoon. She meant in terms of wanting to get "into the game," and expecting something spectacular in return. I'll refrain from offering up any other possible similarities, but a few good ones have already been suggested.
"Next to Haynesworth and DeAngleo Hall, this may be the most important investment that the team makes this offseason," Redskins COO Mitch Gershman said. Sorry, Orakpo, but you're no scratcher. Dockery? He ain't even a Powerball ticket.
The press conference announcing these new scratchers, was, in a word, jackpotalicious. Media members asked for water and cookies in exchange for attending, but really, snacks were unnecessary. As with any proper lottery press conference, there were cheerleaders and Super Bowl trophies and a massive unveiling of a massive lottery ticket. The card itself costs $20, is called "Redskins Mania," and offers prizes from $20 to $1 million and the highest total payout of any Virginia lottery ticket.
"Of course, not all lottery tickets are winners," the executive director, Paula I. Otto said, and so the second-chance drawing for non-winning tickets offers "the chance to win these amazing Redskins VIP experiences," including a VIP trip to Dallas on the team plane, a luxury suite at a home game for 20, autographed team helmets, club seats for 20 years, and so on.
"I know how hard it is to get tickets to the game," Otto noted.
When Clinton Portis unveiled the scratcher, along with a cheerleader, he fell on the ground, screaming "Oh my gosh!" Cooley attempted to revive him by smacking him in the face. A questioner later noted that the tickets have only logos, and no players' faces.
"I could definitely use the endorsement, though," Cooley said.
"That makes two of us," Portis added.
The best questions were asked by the players. Cooley wanted to know how much of the money actually goes to the Virginia public schools. (Answer: 75 percent is paid out as prizes, five percent goes to retailers, five percent goes to overhead, and 15 percent goes to schools, for this particular game.)
"I have a gambling anonymous organization, could you donate to us?" Portis asked.
"They meet in Atlantic City," Cooley noted.
Awk-ward. Otto then assured the crowd that lottery officials are concerned that people play responsibly, and include a phone number for people to call if they think they need some help.
As for Portis, he said he needs to win the lotto, "so I can give everything up," he added. "When I say everything, I'm even giving up my race. I"m turning into something else. I'm moving out of the country....I'm not taking no installments. You take your half, and give me my half, and I'm out."
The lotto tickets will be available at 5,000 retailers, and at Redskins Park, starting on Aug. 3 and continuing through the holiday season.
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