Malcolm Kelly Finally Freestyle Raps Again

Since Malcolm Kelly arrived in Washington, reporters have been begging him for more freestyle rap, like his famous post-Big-12-championship display. Kelly always says no.

But when Mike Sellers asks, well, that's a different story. Sellers has his own segment on one of the 4,000 Redskins-produced weekly TV shows. This one was on NBC, if that matters. And in last week's segment, after pointing out he had more receptions than the receiver last season, he asked Kelly to predict how many catches he'd have this year. Kelly said something like 50, but he wasn't very definitive.

"This is like pulling teeth," Sellers said. "We got a humble man here, but if this [camera] wasn't in front of him right here, he'd be talking a whole lot of trash. He'd probably try to freestyle how many balls he's gonna catch. Am I lying?"

"No, you ain't lying," Kelly said.

Then the camera cut to Kelly spitting this, approximately.

Pressure makes them hypes bust;
Do the whole freestyle no cuss.
I hit him in his leg and it buss;
The fans on the field and they rush.
And the media all they do is discuss;
But I ain't trippin' on the field I [do something that ends in uss].
These other buys boys trying to get me but they cain't;
So I just flip em that candy red paint.
And I roll down the street because they cain't;
Boys think they me but they ain't.

Then Sellers interviewed Marcus Mason.

"Fat neck midget man Mr.Roly Poly himself," Sellers said. "Congratulations, and stay ugly."

That's an interviewing trick I've got to use one of these days. And yes, this would be a lot better with video, but then the Redskins would sue me to kingdom come.