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RFK Continues to Fall Apart

Some fans have, in moments of anguish, referred to RFK Stadium as a hole. Yeah, well, believe it.

This photo, taken during Wednesday night's D.C. United victory, shows the lower portions of a Barra Brava member who had begun to be eaten alive by D.C.'s favorite decaying carcass of a stadium.

"A piece of RFK came out from under us, literally," one fan wrote to me. "The person it fell under only had a few scrapes, but it could have been worse."

Dang right it could have been. I'm imagining that scene in Return of the Jedi where Lando is falling into the Sarlacc pit with the rancor monster, except this Barra member would have been dangling over the snarling maws of giant D.C. rats and RFK's stray cats instead of the Sarlacc, and would have been dragged up to safety by the black and red strands of his scarf. Then Adrian Fenty would have flown by on a hovercraft and a flying cup of beer would topple him into the hole.

[Note to Star Wars fans: Or whatever the hell it was called.]

Anyhow, there's a lesson here: enjoy every jump at RFK to the fullest, because you never know when the ground might shift beneath you. Also, because you might die.

Nats Park is real nice, though.

By Dan Steinberg  |  September 10, 2009; 11:52 AM ET
Categories:  D.C. United  
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Home Sweet Home.

Posted by: TheAMT | September 10, 2009 12:04 PM | Report abuse

Lando was falling into the Saarlac. The thing that Luke fought underneath Jabba's throne room was the Rancor.

In your defense, I cannot imagine either of them stopping by Whole Foods for some Gruyere.

Posted by: Colm1 | September 10, 2009 12:07 PM | Report abuse

I was going to drop the Sarlacc correction, too. Your geek-cred just took a serious nosedive. You're gonna have to drop some serious Holy Grail quotes in your next post to recover some points...

Posted by: EYoung77 | September 10, 2009 12:17 PM | Report abuse

You've inspired me, Dan:

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: One vast and crumbling concrete bowl
Stands on a river. Near it on the asphalt,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is RFK, Stadium of Stadia:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The muddy Anacostia wends away.

Posted by: EdTheRed | September 10, 2009 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Barra Brava?lol,what state is that city in?

Posted by: Max231 | September 10, 2009 12:19 PM | Report abuse

It was the "pit of karkoon", if I'm not mistaken.

Posted by: bobafett1 | September 10, 2009 12:58 PM | Report abuse

LOL Max231. What cereal box did you dig your high school education out of? Here's a hint: Dead City isn't in a state.

Posted by: DadRyan | September 10, 2009 1:06 PM | Report abuse

I'm going to the USA game in Ocotber.... I hope that wasn't my seat... :(

Posted by: mswiley2508 | September 10, 2009 1:29 PM | Report abuse

So... whats the word on the new soccer stadium? Or maybe they should stop playing at RFK and move to Nationals Park for a while.

Posted by: alex35332 | September 10, 2009 1:39 PM | Report abuse

i was standing next to the hole.. thankfully security let us put a broken seatback over it during the game :)

Posted by: JB252 | September 10, 2009 3:50 PM | Report abuse

The United need a new stadium.

Posted by: PowerBoater69 | September 10, 2009 4:11 PM | Report abuse

Barra Brava?lol,what state is that city in?

Posted by: Max231 | September 10, 2009 12:19 PM |

Is there a joke in there somewhere? Here's some friendly advice: Stupid people are rarely intentionally funny.

Posted by: fischy | September 10, 2009 5:16 PM | Report abuse

Oops -- the "advice" got left on the cutting room floor when I hit submit. Just try to remember this age-old bit of wisdom that is best heeded by those who are smart enough to know their own limitations:

It is far better to remain silent and have others think you a fool than it is to speak up and remove all doubt.

Posted by: fischy | September 10, 2009 5:29 PM | Report abuse

Time for a new one. Robby and Teddy Memorial Stadium?

Posted by: delantero | September 10, 2009 7:29 PM | Report abuse

How about simply "Kennedy Memorial" for all 3 brothers.

Posted by: alecw81 | September 10, 2009 8:23 PM | Report abuse

Nice to see Mike Wise isn't the only one at the Post botching a Star Wars reference.

From his "Vinny's Guys" article-

"Mostly questions. Forget Colt or Chase -- yet bless those munchkins' hearts as they battle for the planet of Endor "

It was the moon of Endor. Moon of what? We'll never know...



Posted by: jayrockers | September 10, 2009 8:31 PM | Report abuse

How about simply "Kennedy Memorial" for all 3 brothers.

Posted by: alecw81 | September 10, 2009 8:23 PM | Report abuse

If the commercial land ever got built at Poplar, you'd have it near water and a hotel, so that takes care of 2 of them.

Posted by: Section117 | September 10, 2009 8:54 PM | Report abuse

Alright, no one else is nerd enough to clear it up so I'll go ahead...

The pit in Return of the Jedi is not the Sarlacc Pit...It is, as C3-PO said, "The Pit of Carcoon; the nesting place of the All-Powerful Sarlacc."

So it is technically the Sarlacc's pit, but now you have the official nerd clarification.

Posted by: gbev44 | September 10, 2009 9:04 PM | Report abuse

If RFK falling apart is what it takes for DC United to get coverage, things may be looking up for the team.

Posted by: sitruc | September 10, 2009 9:31 PM | Report abuse

What city is this? A city where a a paltry 22K per game get a $600 million ballpark, a misplaced sense of entitlement and, apparently, no shame.

Posted by: teo_68 | September 10, 2009 10:06 PM | Report abuse

This stadium has been dead for 10-15 years, but it's decaying carcass continues to function.

It's a zombie!!! Shoot it in the head, or destroy the brain!!!

Posted by: Longgoneposter | September 11, 2009 11:33 AM | Report abuse

To further up the nerd-ante, it's actually, C-3PO, not C3-PO.

Posted by: EYoung77 | September 11, 2009 12:27 PM | Report abuse

Now I don't feel so bad, knowing and understanding the Star Wars refrences....

Posted by: dogboy | September 11, 2009 1:19 PM | Report abuse

I like the "Kennedy Memorial" idea.

As long as we kill every last Kennedy first.

Posted by: BO_Stinks | September 11, 2009 2:19 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

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