Burgundy Revolution: Chiefs Day After
Another day, another inbox just overflowing with rage. Like, I'm thinking about getting my BlackBerry its own Xanax prescription.
To start, take a listen to "Fail to the Redskins," by the "Ashburn Funeral Choir." It's also available on the Sell the Team Dan MySpace page, for embedding on your own profile. If you're not currently near a bridge or railroad track, I'd encourage you to take a listen.
"We are mourning the death of a franchise," one of the creators wrote me. "It's a funeral march for every die-hard Redskins fan who hopes that something can be done to keep Snyder from further sabotaging any chance this team has at a resurrection."
Then there's the above image, sent in by reader Trey. I actually called the Laytonsville District Volunteer Fire Department to make sure it wasn't a fake. The guy who answered the phone laughed when I asked if this was real, and laughed again when I asked why. It was a laugh, like, "dude, have you not been paying attention?"
"There's a bunch of Redskins fans here at the firehouse, and they're just not real happy," he said. "It's just a little humor, but we thought everyone could appreciate it."
Then there was the e-mail I got from Ryan, who reminded me of those signs at FedEx that encourage fans to text 78247 for assistance. Sitting in the very last row of section 418, Ryan and his friends decided to text for assistance.
Redskins: 2:24:21 PM, WHAT CAN WE ASSIST YOU WITH TODAY?
Ryan: 2:25:26 PM, WE NEED AN OFFENSE ASAP. TELL DAN
Redskins: 2:31:17 PM, TRY TO ENJOY THE GAME
Then, of course, there was the Motley Fool piece, by a Redskins fan, that treated Daniel Snyder the way Vinny Cerrato might treat Jim Zorn, if that follows. Badly, i mean.
Snyder's Redskins are a textbook example of appalling managerial practices. And trust me, this goes way beyond football. Investors who've sat through the last two years of market performance have definitely seen this type of behavior before. We've seen it at AIG (NYSE: AIG), at Countrywide (now part of Bank of America (NYSE: BAC)), at the trading desks at Bear Stearns (now part of JPMorgan (NYSE: JPM)), Lehman Brothers, and Merrill Lynch (also part of Bank of America).
The type of myopic thinking that Dan Snyder seems to embrace so tightly helped steer another storied franchise, General Motors, into the ditch it finds itself in today. Whoever taught Snyder about business practices must be getting around a lot, because everyone seems to be playing from the same playbook these days. And that is really a tragedy.
If you prefer verse, you could check out this Edgar Allen Poe-inspired poem about Daniel Snyder, which manages to rhyme "Redskins" with "injured shins" and "develop from within!" Are we still talking about a game? I can't remember.
I know I've previously written about Fire The Danny, but I only just became acquainted with Impeach Dan Snyder, which went with the headline, "Cerrato and Snyder Address Shortage of Shermans." No, they didn't choose to turn this into an extended Sherman-dominated metaphor about Snyder marching to the sea and burning everything in his path..
Don't forget this Craigslist ad, which might not be 100 percent in earnest:
WANTED! Experienced business professional (and billionaire) to buy the Washington Redskins Franchise and take it over from the evil Dan Snyder. He is the worst owner in sports and has mismanaged and placed control of the team in the hands of incompetents who probably couldn't manage a team in Madden on franchise mode. Must have at least $1 billion in cash reserves or other liquid asset. Team is valued around $1.2 but Snyder will probably ask for $1.8 (judging by the markups on concessions, tickets with limited view, and parking.)
(The job requirements include "Must love the Washington Redskins" and "Can not be friends with Vinny Cerrato.")
And then, of course, there was the City Paper item which linked to the truly amazing video of beer vendors open for business in the FedEx Field restrooms. So now even your beer can carry the stench of decay.
Unless you're drinking Dogfish Head Punkin Chunkin. That still smells like heaven.
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