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Jim Zorn Wears a Joe Gibbs Mask

There were three constant gimmicks that made Joe Gibbs press conferences the most boring 15 minutes of the week: He blamed himself for everything that went wrong, he raved about how hard his players worked, and out of nowhere, he praised Redskins fans, just for the heck of it.

Jim Zorn press conferences didn't use to be like that. They used to be entertaining, freewheeling affairs filled with honesty and unexpected treasures and humor.

But now, he just mimics Joe Gibbs. Here's from this Monday's gathering:

It's All My Fault

"My responsibility--and it really is my responsibility--is to even have [undermanned plays] work," Zorn said. "Because it's a sequence of plays, successes, that sustain a drive, and I was unsuccessful, being able to do that. MY responsibility. Because I AM the playcaller. I AMchoosing the play out there. I'm putting our guys at risk every play. That's my job....

"I have to be similar in my determination as the playcaller, that we're gonna get these things done. Now, I've got to be smart about it. I tried to be smart about it. And I failed. You know, I failed....

"It's MY responsibility. It's NOBODY else's. And I know that. But I have resolve. I have commitment. And I'm gonna get right back in line and we're gonna go do it again."

Players Were Hard Fought

"Here's what I appreciate about our players is we knew it was gonna be a physical game yesterday, and they played hard," Zorn said. "I mean, we got some bumps and bruises now. And I was impressed. I was impressed. And they played hard the whole game."

Fans Were Spectacular

"The other thing I was really impressed with, and this is even a sidenote, but we had the Redskins Nation down there to follow us," Zorn said, apropos of absolutely nothing, which I don't remember him ever doing. "There were a lot, a lot of fans with burgundy and gold on down there, and I thought they sacrificed a bunch to come down there and to be in those stands. And we didn't get it done for them either."

Core Redskins

Ok, this was the only thing missing. Needs to have a few mentions of super smart Core Redskins up here, and then we'll be set.

By Dan Steinberg  |  October 12, 2009; 1:15 PM ET
Categories:  Media , Redskins  
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Next: Lasting Images From Skins-Panthers

Comments

I dunnow. There was no mention of disembowelment in the course of the conflict.

Posted by: jesuisunpizza | October 12, 2009 1:31 PM | Report abuse

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Posted by: 4-12 | October 12, 2009 1:35 PM | Report abuse

Maybe a strangely high-pitched cackle to awkwardly punctuate one of his sentences?

Posted by: NateinthePDX | October 12, 2009 1:36 PM | Report abuse

Question: Why does Zorn call the plays if we have an OC?

Posted by: TheSuperhoo | October 12, 2009 1:36 PM | Report abuse

I also suspect they'd make nearly identical statements if they were both drowning.

Posted by: mack1 | October 12, 2009 1:37 PM | Report abuse

Mesage to coach zorn: it didn't take much for Redskins fans to get down to Charlotte, because there are tens of thousands of Skins fans already down there. I went to a pre-season WAS/CAR game in '02 in Charlotte and the stadium was 50/50.

Posted by: topshelf_22304 | October 12, 2009 1:43 PM | Report abuse

A message to Zorn....all of these "bamas" in DC are from NC..... You only saw their kin at the game who didn't load up the wagon and move to this hell-hole called DC..... Yes, the redskins stink and the fans are going to stick by them simply becasue they don't know any better. Now is that the definition of stupid or is it just the DC way?

Posted by: matrixcl55 | October 12, 2009 2:18 PM | Report abuse

One thing Bloggy forgot to mention: Gibbs' 3 rings and his stature justified by the kind of man he is and by what he has done for the community more than justified his coach-speak.

Posted by: playahatah | October 12, 2009 4:15 PM | Report abuse

Gibbs could do the "everything is my fault" because he knew he couldn't be fired. If Zorn thinks he can do this every week he is terribly mistaken. Snyder is already lining up candidates to replace him (none of whom actually want the job) and as soon as he finds somebody dumb enough to take the job, Zorn is gone.

Posted by: mja712 | October 12, 2009 5:23 PM | Report abuse

Well, I have it on good authority Zoron the Moron had intended to wear a Mickey Mouse hat, but the Disney folks were threatening to sue him for defamation of character!

Posted by: Vic1 | October 12, 2009 6:49 PM | Report abuse

Mesage to coach zorn: it didn't take much for Redskins fans to get down to Charlotte, because there are tens of thousands of Skins fans already down there. I went to a pre-season WAS/CAR game in '02 in Charlotte and the stadium was 50/50.

Posted by: topshelf_22304 | October 12, 2009 1:43 PM


That's true, topshelf_22304. It's similiar to baseball in DMV area. After supporting the Orioles for so many years, the Nationals came into town and I find myself still rooting for the O's.

God bless Jim Zorn tho. We need to pray for him!

Posted by: RedCherokee | October 14, 2009 2:33 PM | Report abuse

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