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More From Theismann, Doc Walker, Matt Bowen

You know, when I was a young boy, I used to always tell my teachers, "Teachers, when I grow up, I want to find a job where I sit in bed all day and transcribe radio and TV and Internet interviews with ex-Redskins in which they talk about what's wrong with the franchise, and then post the transcripts on a blog, sign off my computer and go get some more Crispix."

And my teachers used to always say, "What the hell's a blog? And why not Rice Chex instead of Crispix?" And then I'd explain how Rice Chex is all rice, but Crispix has crispy rice on one side and crunchy corn on the other. Of course, I hadn't yet thought up the Bog gimmick.

Joe Theismann, Wednesday, ESPN 980's Sports Fix: "I think management is absolutely culpable for some of this, there's no question. But I think it's very difficult to evaluate personnel--which management is responsible for--under the present state that this football team operates. Now I will say this, in hindsight, when you hire someone with no offensive coordination experience, no head coaching experience, that has to be Vinny and Dan's responsibility. And that is, what it looks like, where the issue lies at this point.

"Because is it the players? And Jim says it, hey, it's on him. Jim has said it, 'It's on me. If this team doesn't do well, it's on me.' That's admirable, but the fact of the matter is, we haven't seen anything significantly different over the last 13 games. And really, if you want to go back to the entire season last year, the reason they were 6-2 is because Jason never threw an interception, and everyone was healthy. And now you have mistakes being made, you have the ball on the ground, and you have a lot more people hurt.

"And when you look at the offensive line, I've said this before, I would sign Pete Kendall. I get Pete Kendall's rear end back on that football team right now, because you need some kind of veteran there. Maybe he's not as good as he was, but I want to tell you something, he's better than rookies at this point, until they get a chance to get seasoned a little more....

"It's exactly what I tell the listeners on Monday morning, your eyes aren't lying to you, and right now, your eyes are telling you that this football team needs to do something different."

Tre Johnson, last weekend, 106.7 The Fan: See here, if you missed it.

Doc Walker, Wednesday, Comcast SportsNet's Redskins Nation: "Leadership is always important. The problem is that you're asking for it, and leadership will come with wins. What it tells me is that you don't really have a natural born leader on your offense, but you can create leadership through wins, and there's nothing wrong with that. But the kind of guy they're asking for doesn't quite exist. Because if he did exist right now, there'd be more black eyes in that offensive meeting room, I can promise you that....

"I didn't play in this era. See, if you played in the era where you weren't financially secure, it's life or death. Not literally, but mentally, you're fighting for jobs, man. There would be somebody here at this Park every Monday working out at your position, if we played the way this team plays at times. And at the time, you didn't have no salary cap. Without a salary cap now, a quarter of your team would be cut. I mean, that's the reality. So people are protected through this [era], and it's very difficult to get 'em to go if you don't have someone who's motivated. And they can do it, but the question is when? When does it start?"

[If you missed that episode, you also missed this, from Larry Michael, who apparently is back on the meds: "Injuries on the offensive line notwithstanding, I think this team could still have a good year, but it's got to start this week," he said. "Good year" meaning what, exactly? "10 wins," he said. Here's a promise: if the Redskins win 10 games, I will go naked on Redskins Nation to personally apologize to Michael for doubting him.]

AP, Wednesday, story on the ex-Skins: "Theismann, for one, said the team is 'fundamentally not sound at all,' referred to how Washington 'mucks along in futility,' called the offense 'inept,' and added, 'What is unacceptable is the lack of effort to do more than just what is required.' "

Matt Bowen, Thursday, National Football Post: "I played for a number of teams in the league, but I still view myself as a Redskin of sorts. But right now, can it be fixed without Snyder relinquishing some of his power?

"And that's what I'm really asking you, Mr. Snyder, because that's what I'm hearing from Redskins fans. And now you're hearing it from me, one of your former players....

"You see, there's nothing wrong with Dan's passion for this franchise, and I could never question it after seeing it firsthand. He loves to win, and you can see the disgust on his face in the locker room after a loss. It means something to him - and it means everything. But to complete that, to run this team and build it into a winner, it's time for Dan to open his door to other options -- and start winning for real."

Ross Tucker, Wednesday, SI.com: "I can't remember being on a team in which there was as much heat so early in the season as there is with the Bills and Redskins. Given those teams' expectations coming into the year and the way they have fared so far, it's hard to imagine Buffalo head coach Dick Jauron and Washington coach Jim Zorn returning next season. In fact, barring a miracle, I'd be surprised if either man lasted the entire season.

"It's difficult to watch these guys talk about their job status on a weekly basis. It's pretty obvious they're as good as gone, yet in this tough profession, nobody is going to allow them to exit gracefully, unfortunately. It's not much easier on their players. The training facility becomes highly uncomfortable in such situations, and it starts with the assistant coaches, some of whom move around like the walking dead."

Nice to see so many former players still taking an interest in their ex-franchise. As for the fans, they've moved on to other matters, like what the proper dress code for the rebels should be. Burgundy Revolution, Fan Exodus, and several other sites have decided on a Blackout this weekend, with all disgruntled fans dressed in black. Hogs Haven, meanwhile, is recommending burgundy and gold arm bands. Remember, fellas, solidarity matters in any revolution. One people, one voice, and all that.

By Dan Steinberg  |  October 15, 2009; 3:59 PM ET
Categories:  Media , Redskins  
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Next: Cerrato on the Circling Vultures

Comments

I heard Dan and Vinny will definitely come out, come out of the closet that is and profess their love for each other.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Poopy_McPoop | October 15, 2009 6:51 PM | Report abuse

The Redskins smell like my name

Posted by: pharrrrtt | October 15, 2009 7:32 PM | Report abuse

MEMO FROM THE FRONT OFFICE TO THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS FOOTBALL TEAM

Gentlemen:

It has come to my attention that some of you are questioning the front office's commitment to winning.

In as much as I respect your right to have and voice an opinion, I really think you should concentrate on beating Kansas City this weekend and leave the business of running the front office to me.

To wit, I -- for one -- am sick and tired of all of the countless excuses for why you can't seem to get it done -- because of something that I allegedly have not done.

I think some of you may have confused me for that jolly fat fellow that slides down chimneys on Christmas eve delivering presents to all of the good little boys and girls. For example:

Clinton continues to yap on incessantly about his (former) glory years -- as if there's nothing left to play for any more. He also hints that there may be some dissent in the locker room, although he's not certain, because he continues to spend way too much time in the jacuzzi with me.

Jason spins up a new set of excuses every week about how and why he can't seem to score points or win games; why he needs a better protection or plays; more time to make and complete his reads; more respect and compassion from the coaching staff and his fellow players; a personal psychological counselor; a ballet coach to help him get his rhythm, footwork and throwing motions down, etc., ad nauseum, ad infinitum.

Coooley tells me he wants better music played during practices and (another) smoking hot cheerleader to keep him warm at nights.

Fat Albert just wants to eat, sleep and ride around in a golf cart all day... or at least half the time.

DeAngelo continues to offer multiple excuses why he can't even tackle an old white quarterback with bum knees.

Meanwhile, Collins -- our long-forgotten old white quarterback with bum knees -- has been practicing his Rodney Dangerfield routine -- and frankly, I don't think he gets or deserves any respect either.

Moss and El both want to borrow my elevator shoes to go up for passes.

Orakpo just wants to play a little more DE...

Sellout just wants to be left alone...

Medium Jim seems to have his game film projector set on an endless loop of futility -- and wants a rule book for Christmas.

And so it goes.

All in all, gentlemen -- I want to assure you that I have heard you, even if I don't necessarily agree with you. But regardless, I really think you should just focus on the next game -- and leave the business management, hiring and firing decisions to yours truly.

Otherwise, you just might wake up to find a lump of coal in your stockings.

Love
Dan and Vinny

Posted by: Vic1 | October 15, 2009 8:16 PM | Report abuse

As for Vic1, it's not that I disagree with you that makes you so annoying. It's that you have somehow convinced yourself that you are funny and clever and witty when you are anything but. Please do not make any more attempts at humor, it's just embarrassing.

Posted by: Barno1 | October 15, 2009 8:22 PM

This needed to be said. Third time we've agreed this season Barno.

Posted by: mack1 | October 15, 2009 9:01 PM | Report abuse

Mack, I think we're ALL in agreement on this one. He's so god awful at comedy it's like fingernails on a chalkboard. Ugh. Vic, please by all means bash the team and the players all you want, but for the love of god please stop trying to be funny while doing it. It's just painful to read.

Posted by: Barno1 | October 16, 2009 1:36 AM | Report abuse

Barno and Mack --

Appreciate the constructive criticism -- especially from such esteemed experts in self-embarrassment.

While I can’t speak for Mack, as I’ve not seen much of what he has to say -– Barno’s prolific writings leave me with the impression that he is a real “dumb puppy” who will continue to give “his team” unconditional love regardless of how badly the current owner, coaching staff and players disrespect and demoralize this city and its fans.

Regardless, I don’t know why either of you should give a damn about anything I might have to say, but suspect you’re seeing some element of truth in my wit and sarcasm -- and it bothers you. I also don’t care if you agree with me or not, but do think you should try to respond to it as I will to you -– and simply ignore it.

Sincerely Yours,

FIRE ZORN
BENCH CAMPBELL
GET RID OF PORTIS
FIRE VINNY
HIRE A REAL GM NOW

Posted by: Vic1 | October 16, 2009 7:52 AM | Report abuse

Rumors are that Danny never had his Bris. CP is just a fountain of info.

Its time for Danny Boy's Bris with a fing chainsaw. Call the rabbi.

Shame about his tragic death. Didn't that rabbi look like Jerry Jones!

Posted by: vaherder | October 16, 2009 8:33 AM | Report abuse

(Barno) will continue to give “his team” unconditional love regardless

Posted by: Vic1 | October 16, 2009 7:52 AM | Report abuse

Yep, this is true. And fairweather fans like you will continue to threaten to boycott, root for another team, or quit watching football all they want...and then jump back on the bandwagon once the Skins start putting wins together.

Posted by: Barno1 | October 16, 2009 10:14 AM | Report abuse

Yep, this is true. And fairweather fans like you will continue to threaten to boycott, root for another team, or quit watching football all they want...and then jump back on the bandwagon once the Skins start putting wins together.

Posted by: Barno1
______________________________________________

I guess my follow up question to that is

Why do you have unconditional faith that the skins will start putting wins together?

Posted by: jbanks979 | October 16, 2009 1:25 PM | Report abuse

GRIEF COUNSELORS AT FEDEX FIELD

FEDEX FIELD, MD -- Anticipating a major outpouring of anger and anguish this Sunday afternoon at FEDEX Field, officials for the Washington Redskins today announced that they have procured the services of several thousand specially trained grief counselors who will be available to help angry and disillusioned fans deal with yet another loss in this lost season for Washington’s favorite football team.

The counselors will available throughout the stadium, and easy to spot by their distinctive black shirts, hats and jackets.

Said a team spokesman, “If you see someone dressed in black, you can be assured that you have found someone who understands your pain and can commiserate with your anger and disappointment.”

In other Redskin news, a team spokesman announced that Sunday will also see the debut of a line of team apparel, including a designer edition paper bag for fans to wear on their heads in shame, and several new maroon and black tee shirts embellished with such witticisms as “FU Dan” and “Fire Zorn.”

The official explained, “If you can’t beat them, join them. Besides, this could be downright lucrative for all concerned.”

Posted by: Vic1 | October 16, 2009 3:20 PM | Report abuse

I so wish you could see that no one finds any of your posts even the slightest bit clever. It's so unfunny that it's almost funny. Almost. More like nails on a chalkboard tho.

Posted by: Barno1 | October 16, 2009 4:20 PM | Report abuse

I love Crispix. It's really superior to Chex in all ways. 2 grains, 6 sides. I got my 3-year-old hooked on it already, but my 1-year-old just likes to smash them into tiny fragments.

Now what were we talking about? Redskins or something?

Posted by: mikeinrockville | October 16, 2009 4:47 PM | Report abuse

redskins fans...what is wrong with yall's team, yall need to get yall's stuff in order i tell you guys what i will send yall wade phillips to sort out yall's mess....all right....GO COWBOYS!!!

Posted by: lisasalomon | October 16, 2009 11:46 PM | Report abuse

Always nice to hear the thoughts from the fan base of another idiot owner who treats his team like a personal playtoy.

If it wasn't for last second, overtime heroics, your team would be in the exact same place of the redskins. Welcome to the NFC gutter chumps! Hope y'all enjoy our company cause we're both gonna be down here for a long time!

Posted by: jbanks979 | October 17, 2009 2:29 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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