KidsPost slams the Redskins
It'll be tough to top that day in October when four separate sections of The Washington Post issued critical reports on the Redskins, from Financial to Style to Metro to Sports. (That was also the day I waited five hours to get my daughter's H1N1 vaccine, which is why it's burned so clearly in my memory.)
But dang if different sections of The Post aren't still lining up for their crack at the burgundy-and-gold pinata. Earlier this week, there was an out-of-nowhere jab in a story about local parents sending their children to local boarding schools. A student in that story told The Post that a recent outing to a Redskins game was "sad, but fun."
And last week, there was the Style double-dose of anger, with a Bootsy Vegas profile about rooting for "one of the most wretched teams in professional football today" and the Sports in D.C. piece that claimed "As sports towns go, Washington has become Loserville, U.S.A."
Naturallly, KidsPost -- KidsPost! -- stepped up for its whack Thursday morning, and there was nothing mild about it. In its midseason report card aimed at an audience of juniors, Daniel Snyder got an F, Jim Zorn got a D, and the offense got an F.
"If you are not doing well in school, maybe you should ask the teacher for extra help or spend more time studying and doing your homework instead of watching TV and playing video games," KidsPost sports columnist Fred Bowen wrote. The clear implication is that someone in Ashburn is watching cartoons while the palace burns. Dora, probably.
"It took years for the Redskins to get this bad," Bowen wrote, in an attempt to squelch any tiny remaining bubbles of optimism out of the D.C. youth. "It may take years before they are good again."
(Bowen, of course, is a longtime Skins antagonist. "It seems to me that the Redskins are trying to build a championship team by spending a lot of money on just a few players. And that doesn't work," he wrote in March, after the Haynesworth and Hall signings. In that piece, he also urged the Redskins to copy the Steelers and the Patriots, just like struggling students should copy the kids who "finish their homework, pay attention in class and spend more time reading than watching television."
Anyhow, at this point, you might plausibly argue that The Washington Post's coverage has turned relentlessly negative. And the obvious question is, what section is next in line?
Health: "Redskins' Season Taking Harsh Medical Toll on Elderly Fans"
Food: "The Taste of Defeat; The team stinks, and so do the concessions"
Foreign: "Aid Group Says Team's Fans Have Been Tortured, Dispossessed"
Home: "What's Uglier: FedEx Field or Daniel Snyder's House? (Answer: Both)"
Ask Carolyn: "So I'm worried that I might be in an abusive relationship...."
Weather: "Prediction: A decade of clouds and gloom."
Editor's Query: "Tell us about a time when the Redskins did something laughably cruel to your grandmother or great-aunt"
Correction: "A recent story about the Redskins failed to take any shots at the team's miserable performance. We apologize for the omission. Also, they're awful."
Crossword: "Seven down. [Nine to go.]"
In Brief: "Recent Redskins Successes"
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