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Faces of Zorn: The Salad Tongs


(Image via Comcast SportsNet)


Jim Zorn has the most expressive press conferences I've ever seen from an NFL coach, or from any coach in any sport. Here's a feature dedicated to those looks.

It's been a while since Jim Zorn and I were both in cheerful enough moods for this feature to work, but what the heck, it's a victory week. After the win over the Raiders, Zorn was discussing the play on which Andre Carter nearly scored, but instead ran into the end zone without the football.

"I really wish Andre Carter would have got that touchdown," Zorn said. "But I was thinking about his hands, and all the goop and stuff that was on his hands, dirt, and then all the tape. There was no way. They were like salad tongs, you know what I mean?" Zorn said, slamming his outstretched fingers together like giant tongs of death. "He just couldn't get it. If he'd had just caressed the ball and then rolled, did some barrel rolls into the end zone, he'd have had a touchdown."

True that. In fact, the excellent Homer McFanboy collected even more excellent quotes about that incident, including my favorite, from Rocky McIntosh.


"I just know I have to buy him some stuffed animals for Christmas, so he can have something to grab and be soft with," McIntosh said.

Phillip Daniels also predicted Carter would make ESPN's ridiculous C'mon Man! segment, which he did. Brian Orakpo, meanwhile, joked that "he's getting too old man, can't bend the knees like he used to."

And now, apropos of nothing, more Redskins links.

Actual job listing: "The Washington Redskins are seeking a highly motivated, energetic professional to join the organization on a Full Time basis as a Collections Coordinator." (Mister Irrelevant)

Rick Snider says Redskins sources say the Skins have been mentioned as a possible team to play in London next year. (Examiner)

All-decade Skins offense includes Jason Campbell, Clinton Portis, Mike Sellers and Santana Moss. (Thom Loverro)

Jim Fassel on the Skins' struggles: "I don't get any satisfaction. I really don't because I don't want to live my life thinking that I get happy out of someone else's misery. I've never lived like that. I've always liked Dan Snyder. I really enjoyed talking to him." (John Keim)

Metro's Morgan Boulevard station will stay open an extra hour for the next two Skins' home games. (Dr. Gridlock)

Previously: The Trout Face, 'Ooaach' Exasperation, The Rabach Scowl, The Frothy Rock Star, The Big Orbs, WHAT?.


C'mon Man!

By Dan Steinberg  |  December 16, 2009; 1:50 PM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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Next: Fletcher on Pro Bowl Snubs: "Mind-boggling"

Comments

Oh, glad he explained it. For a moment there, thought ol Zoron the Moron might be explaining how he was "this close" to being a bonafide NFL head coach, that is... until somebody finally realized he really doesn't have a clue about what he's supposed to be doing... and thus, this head coaching opportunity has just slipped through his fingers -- like a greased pig in a mud puddle.

Posted by: Vic1 | December 16, 2009 2:59 PM | Report abuse

Please, let's give HC Zorn a break. "not having a clue as to what he's doing", just doesn't make any sense. Zorn has actually played football IN THE NFL, been there - done that, and he's only in his 2nd year as HC. He's the first to admit he's learned a lot, so let's cut him a break and see what he can do now that he has loosened up, letting his players speak to his expertise. Hey, ARE is no longer fielding punts! That's major. . .

Posted by: DeployedFan | December 17, 2009 3:54 AM | Report abuse

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