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Local pillows and pith


(By Richard A. Lipski - TWP)


Sorry for not writing anything about college basketball this week. The whole thing turned sour for me when the Super Bowl of the Atlantic 11 season, the George Washington-George Mason showdown, was spoiled by pillow thievery. As Steve Goff reported:

The meeting lost some luster with the absence of Patriots sophomores Ryan Pearson and Andre Cornelius, who, according to team officials, took pillows from hotels to use on flights home from recent road trips.

That oughta keep the poll voters busy. Speaking of the poll voters, here's some of that juicy leftover pith. I don't know how many of you read this stuff, but some of it was really hilarious. Bear in mind that these items were written last weekend, so the Maryland stuff is all about the Maui trip, and so on. But still.

1. Georgetown

At least one team in D.C is taking advantage of their soft early-season schedule. (Devin Perry)

How long until GW fans start the rumor that the lack of a Metro station on M and Wisconsin is just an elaborate ruse to duck the "Battle of the Orange Line?" (John Hawkes)

Achieved goal "A" of season, reappearing at No. 1 in a list mostly comprised of mid-major schools in the D.C. media market. (M. Pettiford)

Hoyas' position atop this poll about as secure as a White House state dinner. (Bill Fitzgerald)

Either John Thompson III is working on his post-graduate thesis on American colleges founded in honor of historic Franco-American figures or this is just a sad excuse for a non-conference schedule. (Jack Lambert)

Big-time win over Lafayette. But to be fair, after the Thierry Henry controversy, the Lafayette players tried to use their hands as little as possible. (Chris Bocquet)

Smashed those leopards, Elin Nordegren style. (Ziller Hagel)

2. Maryland

Higgins has sent Thomas Magnum, along with his friends TC and Rick, to scour Maui in search of Greivis Vasquez's missing jumpshot. (Markus Videnieks)

Eric Hayes should never have taken Vincent Price's evil tiki idol. (Max Wasserman)

Already looking forward to Gary's "You know how tough it is to go to Maui and play Chaminade" rant when the Terps are on the bubble this year. (Jack Lambert)

A more cost-effective way to prove you're mediocre would have been to just schedule Morgan State again. (John Hawkes)

Terps will be the first to tell London Fletcher going to Hawaii isn't really all that cool. (Matt Kelly)

Even though the Terps were in Hawaii they could still see as much Maryland football on TV as people in D.C. (Devin Perry)

After losses to Badgers and Bearcats, Gary not scheduling any games with team mascots bigger than a rodent or smaller than a tiger. (Ivan Snyder)

Potentially disastrous trip to Maui averted when Gary Williams holed out on 18 at Kapalua to take $100 off Joe Harrington. (Joey Flyntz)

In a fit of rage, Gary bans Maui Wowi smoothies from Comcast Center. (Ben Shlesinger)

Losing two games in Hawaii is better than winning two games in College Park. (Johnny Limarzi)

The bright side: Already has more than twice as many wins as the football team. (Sean Flynn)

If Maryland's offense continues to struggle I wonder if Debbie Yow will call the plays from the booth. (Jim Fox)

Who knew Ralph Friedgen would be around longer than Gary's Top 25 ranking? (David Adkins)

3. VCU

Larry Sanders has 14 blocks this seasons, three more than the Redskins' starting left tackle. (Bill Fitzgerald)

There were so many Rams involved when Rhode Island's Rams played VCU's Rams that Fox instinctively sent their 8th string NFL announcers to Richmond. (Markus Videnieks)

Athletic department rumored to be paying Jeffrey Tambor $500 per game to scream "HEY NOW!" every time Larry Sanders dunks. (David Adkins)

Welcome to the next iteration of the Larry Sanders show, no word if Jeffrey Tambor has signed on to hand him a towel and gatorade every time he comes back to the bench. (Chris Bocquet)

Wait, now we actually have to prepare for a William & Mary game? Seriously? (Chris Neal)

4. Virginia Tech

Greenberg thought he was scheduling Philadelphia Synagogue Youth team when he scheduled Temple. (Ivan Snyder)

Joins the rest of us in experiencing frustration with Campbell. (Matt Kelly)

Already on the bubble. (Ryan Donahue)

5. Richmond

Chris Mooney came under fire last week after promising to "crash the Top 25 like a White House State Dinner." (Jamie Paquette)

Upon winning the South Padre Island Invitational, the team was presented with the official championship trophy -- a keg of Bud Light. (Markus Videnieks)

Bringing home a title from South Padre Island usually has something to do with a wet t-shirt. (Matt Kelly)

Winners of the South Padre Island Invitational Tournament, which oddly did not include a wet t-shirt contest. (Chris Bocquet)

Only loss is to William & Mary. Wait, is that two losses? (Gavin Weiss)

6. William & Mary

Has only lost games played in New England so far. If this trend holds, hello 26-2! (Jamie Paquette)

Best local team whose scores aren't listed under "local teams" in The Post. (Greg Cota)

In an attempt to nip the burgeoning fan explosion in the bud, the NCAA made sure to schedule FCS playoff game at exactly the same time as the home basketball game vs. VCU. The hope was that Tribe fans wouldn't be able to make a decision and would go watch Daily Show reruns instead. (B. Sopchak)

Proving you don't need a mascot to make it in the Atlantic 11. (Gavin Weiss)

No truth to the rumor that the win over Wake Forest employed Tony Shaver's mustache and the Hair-3 defense. (Jamie Jones)

Break up William & Mary. (Eric Angevine)

7. Old Dominion

Dropped two in South Padre Island, but on the plus side Blaine Taylor took second place in MTV Spring Break's "Beauty and the Beach." (John Hawkes)

Monarchs drop two at South Padre Island. I said two, not trou. (Bill Fitzgerald)

8. George Mason

Jim Larranaga was upset that he was not allowed to put powdered sugar on the beignets he purchased for players at Cafe Du Monde after loss to Tulane. (Jamie Paquette)

In their defense, the Patriots are not the first to give it away in New Orleans. (Jack Lambert)

If the "Battle of the Orange Line" with GW were held on a weekend, they'd probably have to delay it 45 minutes and only play on one half of the court because of "scheduled maintenance." (John Hawkes)

9. George Washington

Karl Hobbs refuses to accept the loss to Oregon State until he sees Craig Robinson's birth certificate. (Jack Lambert)

The Colonials couldn't even shoot the Commander-in-Chief's approval rating from the field. (Joe Maloney)

So the president was openly rooting against the team from the school named for the first president? That's like Queen Elizabeth II rooting against William & Mary! (Jamie Paquette)

Where's the right-wing outrage over the president rooting against a Founding Father? Glenn Beck should be all over this. Do we know for sure Obama didn't issue secret executive orders to the refs to help out Craig Robinson? I'm just asking questions. (KC Costanzo)

Chanting "Yes We Can!" during the team's late rally against Oregon State is yet another reason why Colonials fans are awesome. (Max Wasserman)

I'm the meat of a pithy sandwich made with "Obama Joke" bread. (Jake Leffler)

GW's defense more porous than Secret Service at a state dinner. (David Adkins)

After Oregon State game Karl Hobbs told students, "This is why you come to GW." I can see the marketing campaign now. "Come to GW and see the President come to see the other team play!" (Peter Keszler)

The posted attendance for the GW- Oregon State game was officially 2401 which means, excluding the first family, 1,997 people found a Secret Service loophole to get into Smith Center. (Julian Gompertz)

After the Oregon State game, Obama was nervous that the unemployment would go up by a Hobbs and some assistant coaches. (Mike Briscoe)

Canceling plans to schedule Punahou High School next year. (Ivan Snyder)

10. Virginia

When asked his thoughts on the Virginia-Cleveland State feud, Sylven Landesberg said, "That would be like Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch responding to Vanilla Ice." (Jack Lambert)

Cavaliers win the consolation game in the Cancun Challenge, a contest that strangely did not require the consumption of any tequila. (Bill Fitzgerald)

Loss to Stanford was extremely tough, as Hoo fans couldn't even break out the "SAT" chant. (Joey Flyntz)

Walk-on Will Sherrill deserves a scholarship. The same can't be said of many of the other Cavaliers. (Lacy Lusk)

11. Morgan State

Win against Arkansas and loss to Appalachian State makes one thing clear: Arkansas really, really sucks. (Joey Flyntz)

Lost to Appalachian State the same day the Mountaineers football team hosted South Carolina State in the FCS playoffs, on what locals are now calling "The Most Black People We've Ever Seen" day. (Jack Lambert)

Also receiving pith

Coppin State: Columbia Union is a school? I thought it was just a place where Montgomery Blair high school students took their AP tests. (Max Wasserman)

VMI: Recipe for disappointing season: still giving up 100, not scoring 100. (B. Sopchak)

Norfolk State: Saw them on ESPN2 during one of my gravy-induced hallucinations, so they're here to stay. (Ryan Donahue)

Liberty: Excited email from Flames booster: "We beat Mississippi and Tennessee!" Later, it was revealed he left off the "Valley" and "State." (B. Sopchak)

By Dan Steinberg  |  December 5, 2009; 9:45 PM ET
Categories:  Atlantic 11 , College Basketball  
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Next: Haynesworth: "They're gonna remember the Redskins"

Comments

Awesome stuff. Jay leno would do well to bring in some of these pithers. He could hardly do worse.

Posted by: dimesmakedollars | December 5, 2009 9:58 PM | Report abuse

VCU is ranked too high. They can't spell Atlantic 11.

Posted by: Randy_Hawkins | December 6, 2009 9:43 PM | Report abuse

The Hokies beat the team that has kept them out of the NCAA tournament the past two seasons. Wednesday will be a local doubleheader at Virginia Tech. Women versus Mt. St. Mary's and the men against the vaunted VMI offense.

Posted by: sitruc | December 7, 2009 12:07 AM | Report abuse

#6 W&M has now beaten #5 Richmond and #3 VCU.

Posted by: lordscarlet1 | December 7, 2009 1:00 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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