Jim Bowden likes stats after all
If you were to ask me, "Hey Steinberg, when are you going to stop taking breaks from your vacation to post blog items about former D.C.-area sports execs who now have nothing to do with either the metro area or your vacation," my answer would be "as soon as they start posting videos on national sports sites that involve staring at breasts."
Let's go to the dialog that closes Jim Bowden's latest for FoxSports.com. It's really too much to believe. Maybe the tropical weather is getting to me. I believe this was a segment about baseball stat geeks and the tools that let them sign players who actually produce, as opposed to 300-pound middle infielders.
Theo Epstein: We came up with our own proprietary software here called Carmine.
Jim Bowden, suddenly interested: Carmine? Is she hot?
Epstein, unsure how to proceed: Hahahahaha.
Bowden: Why is it called Carmine?
Epstein: No, Carmine, i actually came up with the name myself. It's because the Red Sox are the Carmine Hose. They used to be known as the Carmine Hose back in the day, and the White Sox were the Pale Hose, so we went with Carmine as the name. And no, not hot. I think it might be a guy, actually.
Bowden, no longer interested: Oh, ok. Never mind then.
[Back to the studio, where Bowden is joined by his special someone. He looks longingly at her breasts.]
Bowden: Theo might have Carmine. but these stats give me joy.
As with any great dramatic scene, this puppy left me literally speechless, nearly out-of-breath with amazement. Bravo to all. Next time, straight to video, please.
(Courtesy ogle in the direction of @Unsilent.)
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