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Jim Bowden likes stats after all

If you were to ask me, "Hey Steinberg, when are you going to stop taking breaks from your vacation to post blog items about former D.C.-area sports execs who now have nothing to do with either the metro area or your vacation," my answer would be "as soon as they start posting videos on national sports sites that involve staring at breasts."

Let's go to the dialog that closes Jim Bowden's latest for It's really too much to believe. Maybe the tropical weather is getting to me. I believe this was a segment about baseball stat geeks and the tools that let them sign players who actually produce, as opposed to 300-pound middle infielders.

Theo Epstein: We came up with our own proprietary software here called Carmine.

Jim Bowden, suddenly interested: Carmine? Is she hot?

Epstein, unsure how to proceed: Hahahahaha.

Bowden: Why is it called Carmine?

Epstein: No, Carmine, i actually came up with the name myself. It's because the Red Sox are the Carmine Hose. They used to be known as the Carmine Hose back in the day, and the White Sox were the Pale Hose, so we went with Carmine as the name. And no, not hot. I think it might be a guy, actually.

Bowden, no longer interested: Oh, ok. Never mind then.

[Back to the studio, where Bowden is joined by his special someone. He looks longingly at her breasts.]

Bowden: Theo might have Carmine. but these stats give me joy.

[End scene]

As with any great dramatic scene, this puppy left me literally speechless, nearly out-of-breath with amazement. Bravo to all. Next time, straight to video, please.

(Courtesy ogle in the direction of @Unsilent.)

By Dan Steinberg  |  February 22, 2010; 4:16 PM ET
Categories:  Media , Nats  
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Ugh, what a clown. Poor Theo.

Some brief research on "Carmine" yields 2 notable people with that name: Carmine Giovinazzo, who plays Danny Messer on CSI:NY, and Carmine Gotti, grandson of the Mafia guy. So yeah. Italian guy's name. Sorry, Jimbo.

Posted by: harbeh | February 22, 2010 5:24 PM | Report abuse

Jeez... I don't think men have been allowed such behavior since the 1940s...

Posted by: law3 | February 23, 2010 11:31 AM | Report abuse

One stat line Bowden never put any credibility into was the W-L stat, he claimed it has nothing to do with building a successful team.

Posted by: alex35332 | February 24, 2010 11:19 AM | Report abuse

Interesting. It's a fascinating little vignette and Bowden's very forthcoming about what he knew then versus what he knows now. The whole borderline sexual harassment aspect is totally misplaced (obviously) and takes all the attention for an otherwise very cool piece.

Posted by: TheFunBunch | February 25, 2010 9:11 AM | Report abuse

Dan, the "these stats give me joy" thing is a bad pun, because the woman in the video is his second wife, whose name is Joy (also his co-star from the DUI incident). I wonder what JimBo's kids think about stuff like this.

Posted by: CoverageisLacking | February 25, 2010 5:31 PM | Report abuse

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