The Strasburg haiku contest

So...why is ABC announcing Strasburg on Wednesday at 8? The "inauguration" would be on Tuesday at the game I would imagine. Hmm...

Sunshine on the Mall,
Phenom on the hill,
House and Senate still.
Strasburg.

FYI, lots of tickets available on Stubhub for the game, and the prices have dropped significantly. Cheapest tix are now in $20's, and there are plenty in the 20-30 range available.

Nats' offense struggling
Bullpen suddenly messy
Welcome to the bigs!

Strasburg fills the Park
Buses from Philly absent
No tasers needed

Strasburg pitches well
McCutchen puts on a show
Clippard vultures win

Strasburg perfect game!
Wake up, Pirates win by ten.
It was just a dream..

Strasburg Ain't Jesus,
But Performs First Miracle;
Filling all those Seats!

Jesus, it's jeeeezus!
At least, the baseball jeeezus
Resurrect the Nats

Bryce Harper Monday
Strasburg pitching Tuesday
Nats are compelling?

DC hope dwindles
Nats say Strasburg, yes he can!
Obama redux?

Strasmas miracle!
Three hitter, let's go party!
Too bad. No bars here.

What's a gyroball?
Today's hype will never fade!
Wait, look! Bryce Harper!

Respectfully submitted,

+1/2St.

baseball jeezus starts
anacostia haze lifts
when will storen save?

Santa comes Tuesday
A Merry Strasmas to all
Pirate bats: good night

Anticipation
Smacks the glove at 99
collective cheers erupt

Strasburg throws the pill.
Opposing batters say no.
Time for a cold one.

Despite team's success,
They still won't let Teddy win.
Maybe on Strasmus!

75 and sunny
springtime comes back
Thy name is Jeezus.

(these all meet the 140 char limit for easy twittering...)

So, this Strasburg kid:
A hundred miles an hour.
Is he really good?

nationals hopes rise
almost as high as ticket costs
but i'm with coco

Hype unbearable,
Strasburg must be Cal Ripken
and Gibbs to succeed

It didn't take long
to make it into the bigs!
Strasburg's just that good!

(an aside:

Best contest ever!
I wonder if Strasburg can
come up with one, too?)

The savior's risen
Like many blazing fastballs
He'll be throwing soon

McDonald, Taylor,
Anderson, Bullington, Bush.
Nothing's guaranteed.

Exits mid-inning.
This time Strasburg tips his cap.
Deafening applause!

Thousands of Nats fans
Are hoping beyond hope that
He's not Kwame Brown

Strasburg is "Jesus"
Expectation is too high?
Storen truly saves

(Sorry if that is too downbeat. Meant to be praising of Storen too)

Mashiach* has come
Chabad is set at the gates
3rd Temple=D.C.

(*Mashiach is the Hebrew word for "Messiah")

Nats in losing streak
Call the savior from the farm
Strasburg saves the day

His stuff is filthy
Just our luck, lots of checked swings
Save us Bryce Harper!

Will crush humans like Drago
Whenever Stras pitch, we destroy
Throw the damn towel

Crazy city gets
Strasburg debut with Team Coco
Gets monkey off back

Natstown to Strastown
Presidents run round and round
Rejoice with half smoke

Strasburg the savior
Bryce Harper the next Babe Ruth
Many wins to come!

Once won blog contest
Canfora make big promise
Still waiting for prize

Waited all my life
To meet our lord and savior
Hello Stephen Strasburg

They call him Jesus
Real name is Stephen Stasburg
D.C sports savior

Put Jesus in coach
He's ready to play, today
WJ would be proud

His nickname Jesus
New star to replace Greivis
End rhyme with Beavis

Better than his arm
Strasburg in the batters box
NL pitchers hit

Bring on the young guns.
Strasburg leads charge to playoffs.
Nats fans cheer at last!

Nats will beat the Phils
By throwing a Strasburg and
Harper battery

Breathlessly we await
an arm poised to lift a town
above five hundred.

Lifetime losing record
Comes one pitcher called Strasburg
Teddy finally wins!

I'm still an O's fan
We sucked almost bad enough
So close yet so far

Excitement is high
The budding phenom in bloom
Kwame Brown re-run

Strasburg dominates.
Optimism in D.C.?
A new, strange feeling.

The "Big Train" Reborn?
A link to our Baseball past
Steve leads us forward.

Hate having to share
Normally empty section
With Strasburg poseurs

First day of Strasmas
It's a holiday for all
No more pretending

Woosh goes the fastball
Wiff of swinging air
No hits tonight

Swinging for a homer
Thump of leather glove
Strike 3 your out

Ben is making chili
Wapo making news
Stras is making strikes

Hell freezes over.
Strasburg? No. Wilbon shows up
at Nationals Park.

Tuesday night baseball?
If Kornheiser stays up late
That's a miracle

Nats on center stage
Strasburg Harper mania
Give Rizzo the praise

Strasburg makes first start
Here comes the very first pitch
McCutchen home run

three big league pitches
fastball cuts, slider and change
president strasburg

Strasburg on his way
Hoping for a winning day
Victory in sight

Starry-eyed dreamers
Focus all hope on Strasburg.
Hold breath for first pitch.

Hohandy gets my vote. :-)

---

Hate having to share
Normally empty section
With Strasburg poseurs

Posted by: hohandy | June 7, 2010 12:23 PM

Major league debut
Comes against Pittsburgh Pirates
A minor league team

In the Throes of Strasburg
In the Throws of Strasburg
There is Excellence

Strasburg in D.C.
Homeplate Security head
Country safer now

Strasburg blows in town
The wind in DC has changed
I feel wins coming

Up from the minor
league, Jeeeeeezus ninja Strasburg
defeats the Pirates.

Dear rookie phenom,
Please don't blow out your elbow
til after Tuesday!

Have care, as this sends
Craig Stammen to Syracuse.
Never to return?

You think this is hype?
See real adulation when
Chien-Ming Wang pitches.

Strasmas Eve is here!
Nats pick one early present.
Let's hope it's Harper.

Who are these people?
There are lines for the bathroom!
Strasburg makes you pee?

Shad from DC (aka Fish Stick)

and he can hit, too
led Nationals minor leagues
hitting .400

Strasburg dealing heat
Tossed for ump-arguing
That's enough Joe West

Post skepticism:
Strasburg is the new Adu
Kornheiser- wink wink?

Born in a manger
Three wise men: Clip, Store & Save
D.C. Sports Savior

Hondo, Josh, Big Train
What, no Strasburg statue yet?
Get the bronze ready

Strasburg gets the win!
Will he do the John Wall Dance?
Only time will tell

Nationals pitchers:
Clip, Store & Save- all the rave
Oh, Stras is the boss

Major League Debut
For Strasburg is postponed till
The Pirates leave town

Missed most of the hype:
My partner still just calls him
"That new pitcher guy."

Let’s go Nationals
Welcome mat for Strasburg's bat
Teddy might just win

The savior has come.
Blasphemy is forgiven.
The savior has come.

Nats town is abuzz
O's town can only wonder
where is our savior

Pitts-? or Johannes-?
No. It's Stras-burg...yes, Strasburg
And then the "b" word.

Strasburg gets the start
Prayers for a perfect game
Wait, will Joyce be there?

Watch out Dan Snyder;
We might have the makings of
A real baseball town.

+1/2St.

Save all your haikus,
Redundant Strasburgisms
No one scrolls this far.

Hey, just in case you're curious, we're actually reading all of these. I've left the Washington Post social interaction team in charge of choosing the winner(s), but these are definitely being read. And good stuff, all around.

Strasburg starts, O's stink
Angelos digs his own grave
Jumps, then rolls in it.

+1/2St.

Of course, I meant:

Strasburg starts, O's stink
Angelos digs his own grave
Jumps, then spins in it.

+1/2St.

Strasburg is in town
Teddy will not win the race
The Nats with the W.

Strasburg is in town
Teddy will not win the race
The Nats with the W.

Helen Thomas tries
to make amends for comments:
Observes Strassover

Stras' pitches so fast
Basic haiku won't suffice
Sixth syllable added.

Washington DC
Awestruck by blazing fastballs
San Diego's Ace

Thread brings tear to eye
Haikus and baseball as one
Strasburg is a God

Stasmas, Strasover
And Strasmadon miracles
World peace in his wake

Curveball dives like bird
snatching fish from the dirty
Anacostia

Nats fans all wonder:
What Would Baseball Jeesus Do?
drill Lastings Milledge.

Of course, I meant:

Strasburg starts, O's stink
Angelos digs his own grave
Jumps, then spins in it.

+1/2St.

Strasburg packs the seats
So many people come watch
Sit down, I'm too short!

Forecast for Tuesday
calls for nothing but sunshine
at Nationals Park

My season tickets
Will not return like magic
When Strasburg comes in.

Bacsik, Drese, Speigner
Patterson, Simontacchi,
The nightmare's over

No more street parking,
or moving down unchallenged.
Totally worth it.

At last, it is here,
Bringing madness and high heat:
Strasburg's Summer.

* * *
[technically speaking a "strict" haiku requires a reference to the seasons. If we widen the strike zone, as Joe West might, I can get a few breaking haiku out over the outside corners of the plate]:

* * *

Stephen Strasburg throws
So fast he might catch up to
Johnson, the Big Train.

* * *

Let Baseball Jesus
Save those poor souls abandoned
By Angelos' spite.

* * *

'Tis the season to
Enjoy high heat, killer curves,
And Strasburg's Advent.

* * *

Now, O Lord, You may
Dismiss Your servant in peace:
Strasburg is pitching.

[cf. Luke 2:29-32, the Song of Simeon. "Now, O Lord, You may dismiss Your servant in peace, according to Your word, for my eyes have seen Your salvation."]

* * *

On the Seventh Day
God rested, but every fifth
Day, Strasburg starts.

* * *

Will he be Perfect?
Strasburg's stuff is good enough,
But some umps will err.

* * *

Strasburg winds, deals--CRACK!
That was no swing, but one heck
Of a sonic boom.

* * *

What did you go out
To see? A rookie's debut?
No, the Nats' savior.

[cf. Luke 7:26]

First pitch. Flashbulbs pop.
All eyes turn to the scoreboard.
How many miles per hour?

George, Tom, Abe, Teddy
No longer the main event
when Strasburg pitches

Oh, and I know it's not haiku, but since I'm back to versifying on the Bog after a long, law-school induced absence, I can't help myself. Here's a villanelle:

* * *
O! Stephen Strasburg starts today!
Let all of Washington delight!
For sure the Nats will find their way.

Now joyous throngs will see them play
At Half Street on this summer night
For Stephen Strasburg starts today!

Through all of April and of May
The Nats were doomed to scratch and fight--
For sure the Nats will find a way

To win! For when opponents say,
In voices quavering with fright
That "Stephen Strasburg starts today!"--

Their batting skill will fade away--
Their dugout will give up the fight.
Thus will the Nats have found their way.

So go to Half Street, don't delay,
And marvel at a stunning sight:
Our Stephen Strasburg starts today--
For sure the Nats have found their way.

Decades in exile
Four years as a laughing stock
One night - a rebirth?

Who is this Strasburg?
Does anyone really care?
I, for one, do not.

In what kind of world
Can a man play a childs game
And be paid millions?

No offense, but it's things like this (haiku contest) that make DC such a lame sports town. Never see something so corny in NY, Boston, Chicago or other good baseball (or sports) city.

No offense, but it's things like this (haiku contest) that make DC such a lame sports town. Never see something so corny in NY, Boston, Chicago or other good baseball (or sports) city.

hollywood for nerds?
no longer. got real juice now:
in a word, Strasburg.

(Actually, JG55, the Boston Globe ran a haiku contest when Daisuke Matsuzaka made his major league debut. So there's that.)

the WaPo social
interaction team is awe-
some. pick me! (strasburg).

"Actually, JG55, the Boston Globe ran a haiku contest when Daisuke Matsuzaka made his major league debut. So there's that.)"

I stand corrected. I'm a Yankee fan, so it doesn't surprise me that Boston is lame too.

Heard an old guy say
best arm since Shiva
Bullpen planning vacation

Hype machine raging
Hope he can weather the storm
Only time will tell

Hype machine raging
Hope he can weather the storm
Only time will tell

Phenom needs nickname
Trains worked for Johnson, Ryan
Double-S Express?

SS throws lightning
Pirate knees buckle and quake
Cleveland waits its turn

Get Fuzzy's "Steve" thinks
Strasburg's power is genius.
Kitty ain't psychic.

-Wilbrodog-

Batters see just blurs
With Strasburg atop the mound
Welcome, summer boy

Intended to send these yesterday, on Strasmas eve...

No less excited,
Knowing what’s under the tree.
Merry Strasmas eve.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

DC gets Harper
On the last day of Strasmas.
Next year, ask for wins.

Phenom's June debut
Coincides with Celtics game
No Nats game for me!

Strasburg toes the line,
crowd abuzz, stands packed, new day.
Teddy is ready.

Strasburg; young, hopeful.
Wins he will bring; rejoice town.
Have cake, eat it too?

dude admits to being a Yankee fan and call us lame? LOL

Peter Angelos
Wrong year to be the worst team
It must be karma

Ghosts of Senators,
Gather this eve on South Cap.
Big Train sheds a tear.

The outlook was great,
For the Swampville nine that day.
Stras was on the mound.

Will Dan Snyder try,
To steal Nats thunder this eve?
Oh, my poor Redskins.

Wash. & Hub unite
To conquer Evil Empire
Out with thee, JG!

Dark clouds gone away
Strasburg's heat warms up our souls
Sun breaks through the clouds

Only 21
Pressure to save a whole team
Rehab by next year?

In mitt before swing
One hundred on the gun
The Beast of the East

Hillbilly haiku 6.8.10 Time begins again edition

wondrous winged creature
descends on garden's hilltop
And the first pitch is.....

phenom on the hill
slugger waiting in the wings
hope springs eternal

Sweet Caroline?, no
The sweetest baseball music
Strasburg popping mitts

Unhittable slurve,
Two fastballs, change - plus pitches.
Strasburg is complete.

JG55, we post haiku all the time on Boston.com's game recap articles. Sorry you're not man enough to appreciate it. Not surprising from an Evils fan.

Hey you, knucklehead
Yanks fan: don't hate us Nats fans
For being clever.

Baseball poetry
Proves Nats fans are devoted
And classy to boot.

First pick, Lot of Hype
Who will buckle? Strasburg or
Pirates' knees on Curve

Surrounded by hype.
Can Strasburg bring home the goods?
Don't ask Steve Phillips.

If Strasburg threw and
Harper hit balls at the Dome,
which would get there first?

blazing fastballs fly
Strasburg on the rubber now
Nats to .500?

Strasburg is real good,
there's no doubt. But let's be fair:
*I* could have picked him.

District sports delight
Strasburg BP to Dunn please
Natinals no more

LOL. Post.com misspells his name on the front page.
http://twitpic.com/1v2e3k

O' volatile fate!
D.C. beckons: "what's in store
for this bright craftsman?"

Jordan Zimmermann,
come Wednesday, will change his name
to Jordan Strasburgg

Odalis Perez,
Ryan Drese, Tony Armas,
Pedro Astacio...who?

New face on mount rush?
No, not Obama or bush
Saint Strasburg, that’s who.

Statosphere Strasburg
Strides to the mound. Whap! Strike 3!
Stadium erupts!

Will Walter Johnson
Be quickly supplanted?
Only time will tell.

Phils, Mets, Yanks be damned
Now, the real Joe Hardy lives
His name is Strasburg

Great Expectations.
Havisham-mockery or
Pitched like the dickens.

Shad from DC (aka Fish Stick)

A correction to my previous post:

Will Walter Johnson
Soon be quickly supplanted?
Only time will tell.

First win in the books!
14 Ks for the Pirates,
who should have stayed home.

a haiku contest
with no winner? i wanted
memorabil ya.

K K K K K

K K K K K K K

K K. Kid throws strikes.

Welcome to the Show
Facing hitters in the Bigs?
Fourteen Pirates fanned.

For a year it was:
Strasburg this and Strasburg that.
But it was worth it.

Hillbilly haiku 6.9.10 Ridiculously Overpowering Stuff edition

The eagle takes flight
and soars majestically
Conquering Hero

God has sent His son.
Hurling his seed to'rds Earth
via breaking ball.

Awaken Mudville
Your long misery is gone
Strasburg strikes 'em out!

From bullpen he walks,
and with his right arm he talks,
Legend come to life

Johnson not McClain
Steven is no one's Denny
31 wins -- yes!

Young, Koufax, Gibson
Mad Dog, Rocket and Johnson
Strasburg in the class

Young, Koufax, Gibson
Mad Dog, Rocket, Johnson
Strasburg in the class

Oh, circle changeup
Will make fools in the summer
As the Nats future is now

Oh, circle changeup
Will make fools in the summer
As a star is born

Nat fans triumphant
This O's fan's melancholy:
Peter Angelos

Pirates wave their bats
and ponder the dugout floor;
Were physics defied?

Imagine that, a Yankee fan who thinks everyone else is lame. Thanks for sharing.

We've waited so long,
Patient and loyal. Now we shout,
"Strasburg in da house!"