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Darnell Dockett mocks Haynesworth again

You know who seems to be a massive consumer of Albert Haynesworth news? Arizona Cardinals Pro Bowler Darnell Dockett. He can't get enough of the stuff. Insatiable appetite. And with each new development in the saga, Dockett gleefully batters Haynesworth around the head and belly area with extreme mockery. This weekend, he took it to the next level, writing that he could have passed Haynesworth's conditioning test while eating popcorn. To recap:

1) In mid-June, as Haynesworth-minicamp talk heated up, Dockett ripped him on Twitter. "I'm nothing like these dudes, for a 100 million my ass will play 4-3, 3-4, 5-9, 4-8, and still whip ass!" the D.C. area native and Cardinals defensive tackle wrote. At the same time,'s Mike Sando noted that Haynesworth's $21 million bonus was more than Dockett had been paid over the past four seasons.

2) Later that month, Dockett went on D.C. radio with LaVar and Dukes and whapped away again.

"I'm a football player," Dockett said. "Let's let that be told. You can put me in any scheme, I'm gonna find me a way to make a play, because that's what I know how to do. You can put me in a 4-8, 3-4, 5-6, 2-11. Whatever you put me in, I'm gonna make a play, because that's just how I am. I'm not gonna complain about it....For the highest-paid player on the team to have that type of attitude, man, that's cancer through a team....You got the highest-paid person on the team that don't want to show up to a mandatory camp and he just got paid $21 million three months ago. Me personally, I could never stand next to a guy like that, because I don't know where his mind's at, and he looks to me like he's selfish."

3) Then came this week. Haynesworth has twice failed his conditioning test and once required a potty break, a fact that has possibly been noted by one or two media outlets. Dockett apparently had to take the same test. (UPDATE: The test was actually quite different: six 50-yard sprints instead of 12 25-yard sprints, which means much less starting and stopping. Apologies.)

Dockett is two inches shorter, 45 pounds lighter, and the same age as Haynesworth. He apparently passed. And at every step along the way, he mocked Haynesworth on his Twitter feed. Witness:

I don't have a calculator handy, but 57 seconds seems an awful lot faster than 71.

(By the way, the Jeff Fisher-led Titans make their players do the same test, so you'd guess that Haynesworth has some experience with this one. From, via Extreme Skins:

"That's precisely the test we do. We do a 300 yard shuttle with the recovery time in between and then we do another....If you've had a minimum number of offseason workouts then the test is modified. Those that have been here for at least 80 percent of the offseason workouts, it's a 300 yard shuttle, they will run 50 yard increments rather than 25 yard increments so it's a little bit easier. The 25 yard 300 yard shuttle is an appropriate test to find out what kind of shape you're in."

Anyhow, on Sept. 2, the Redskins play their final preseason game at Arizona. Here's hoping Albert Haynesworth and Darnell Dockett find a few moments to say hey and exchange mailing addresses for their holiday card lists before or after that game. Then maybe they can make plans to go get fruit smoothies.

By Dan Steinberg  |  July 31, 2010; 5:08 PM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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Next: Obama and Ted Leonsis at the Mystics game



Posted by: kahlua87 | July 31, 2010 6:16 PM | Report abuse

Truth hurts does it not? Got love his honesty. I like the fact that this dude is ragging him out it proves that Fat Ally is out of shape and ill prepared to play ball. Let's hope that he can pass the test and get large ass on the field.

Posted by: efdelaney | July 31, 2010 6:45 PM | Report abuse

I wonder what Darrell Green would've run the 1st set of the 300 yard shuttle in, 35 seconds?

Posted by: randysbailin | July 31, 2010 6:46 PM | Report abuse

I couldn't help it, I had to try it this morning myself. Finished the first run in 67 secs, the second in 70. It perhaps should be noted that I was also slightly hungover.

I was wondering if Shanny was using this to bust his balls but there's no reason a professional athlete shouldn't crush this test.

Posted by: mini_dagger | July 31, 2010 7:53 PM | Report abuse

Any way the Redskins could trade Albert straight up for Darnell Dockett?

Posted by: martynchase | July 31, 2010 8:39 PM | Report abuse

Any way the Redskins could trade Albert straight up for Darnell Dockett?

Posted by: martynchase | July 31, 2010 8:41 PM | Report abuse

Get rested Mr.Big Al and come show these dudes what you can do! F-the haters!!

Posted by: vexed50verizonnet | July 31, 2010 9:40 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: mmurchison | July 31, 2010 9:47 PM | Report abuse

Paint Branch grad puttin' Fat Albert on blast. Love it!

Posted by: ptp_er | July 31, 2010 10:11 PM | Report abuse

I wonder how many readers have tried this in the last few days to gauge themselves against the fat man.

Posted by: randysbailin | July 31, 2010 10:40 PM | Report abuse

"I wonder how many readers have tried this in the last few days to gauge themselves against the fat man."

Not me — haven't tried it once.

Of course, I'm also in my 40s, haven't been on a team since high school and I'm not making $100 million to be one of the best athletes on the planet. For that kind of scratch, I'd find out if they want me to play nose guard, shoot three-pointers, throw 98-MPH fastballs or make kick saves with my skates, and one way or another, I'd get ready to do whatever was asked of me.

Here's hoping Fat Albert gets his head (and body) right and plays great this season, but it's hard to believe anyone feels any sympathy for this greedy, spoiled guy. The suggestion that he is "bigger than the team" has nothing to do with his physical stature — it defines his perception of his own worth. Who does he think he is, LeBron James?

You're right — none of us can know what it's like to take that test. We also don't know what it's like to be so freakishly gifted as an athlete that someone wants to back the Brinks up to our front doors to pay us otherworldly sums to play a game.

Posted by: DC2Dallas | July 31, 2010 11:34 PM | Report abuse

If a reader could pass that test, then it proves just how bad a shape his overpaid fat azzz is in; if a reader can't, then they are in as just as good a shape as Big Greasy.

So what's your point? We ain't the ones that are on the line to PASS the test nor are we getting PAID to play.

I bet his fatazzz can't come to any of our jobs and do what we do to earn a living.

I guarantee I could put a defective laptop in front his big azzz and tell him to troubleshoot and fix it, he'd look at me like I just asked him what pi is

Posted by: kahlua87 | August 1, 2010 2:15 AM | Report abuse

I have a feeling big Al will be practicing by Tuesday
making some plays.

I believe the Skins will bring so much
pressure this year thanks to Al and Orakpo

Posted by: grayterrence | August 1, 2010 7:10 AM | Report abuse

OK, so the Mike Wise and the rest of the soft players on the Skins "backing up" FatAlbert didn't think someone would check with other squads to see if it was a "fair" test? Before yacking, you might want to check your facts (and not just from the guys who are FA supporters). He is a disgrace - out of shape (does that mean he is in "football" shape?) and making $100,000,000 (zeros added for effect). You don't have to be a "hater" to realize that a professional athletes primary job is to stay in shape. There are soccer dads around the country who have to pay gym fees to do it, let alone $100,000,000! FA, you should simply be ashamed and have an "Oprah Moment".

Posted by: KDSmallJr | August 1, 2010 9:11 AM | Report abuse

"OK, so the Mike Wise and the rest of the soft players on the Skins "backing up" FatAlbert didn't think someone would check with other squads to see if it was a "fair" test?"

Mike Wise sucks that's why.

YOu know he used to be a romance novelist right? ;)

- Ray

Posted by: rmcazz | August 1, 2010 9:30 AM | Report abuse

I think I could probably makes plays in a 2-11 too.

Posted by: jaycane40oz | August 1, 2010 9:39 AM | Report abuse

Just lost respect for Dockett, you don't bring a man down to make your self look good. He needs to grow up it seems as though he's hatin on Al. Albert is the most disruptive d linemen in football. Sorry Dockett!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: gwest1 | August 1, 2010 10:55 AM | Report abuse

Don't hate on dockett for voicing his opinion. He's the tup of player who should be paid AH money. Plus he's probablly still got some live for the skins.

Posted by: AnthonyMix | August 1, 2010 12:03 PM | Report abuse

He sounds like a dude who is bitter because what Al got in one check he hasnt made in his whole career u spending all your time on twitter mocking him how bout worry about the org u played for and how they and you have NEVER won not completely happy with what's goin on with Al...but lets keep it 100 Dock u mad cuz u cant make his money..u are a decent player but your not even in the top 10 D-lineman in the shut up already u done talked about this all offseason we get how u feel slim...

Posted by: bgriffith79 | August 1, 2010 1:08 PM | Report abuse

Hey if FA can't stand the heat then he should stay out of the kitchen. All during the OTA's the only thing you heard is "I want out. I ain't playing in no 3-4 defense". Well he didn't get out because no one was willing to put up with Mr. Attitude. So it looks like he's going to have to play if he wants to get paid (more) and if he decides he's not taking Shanny's treatment then the Skins have a grievance to get their $21M back. So bust his balls and Dockett can rag on him as far as I'm concerned.

Posted by: bullwinkle1 | August 1, 2010 1:36 PM | Report abuse

I wonder how many times big al is gonna have 2 run 50 yards up and down the field in a real game???? In terrible shape last year he allowed our two wnd to get 10plus sacks, and he played the second most snaps of any d-lineman on our team. To many haters on here.

Posted by: hometeam15 | August 1, 2010 2:09 PM | Report abuse

I don't care how much money Albert Haynesworth is making, 1 dollar or 100 million dollars, dude is still a Redskin. After coming off a 4-12 record, all we have to talk about is Albert failing a "test"? I believe that Albert should be able to pass the test and he needs to suck it up and play, but calling the man out and calling him names is childish. When it come regular season our Reasons need all of us cheering for them, not singling one man out. Let Shanahan do what he does, he is the coach and he isn't too worried about it. Shanahan will have Haynesworth in shape. Haynesworth will be a dominate RDE when Shanahan is finished with him. This will help the Skins out and the Opposing O-line will have to worry about an "In-Shape" Haynesworth and some awesome LBs. HAIL!

Posted by: blkmanwtan | August 1, 2010 7:09 PM | Report abuse

Hayneswoth is still not doing his job. He's not prepared to do his job and he has a bad attitude. If he is a minimum wage clerk, he gets his walking papers. Do your job Albert!

Posted by: splitbill | August 1, 2010 9:46 PM | Report abuse

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