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An Albert Haynesworth practice gallery

Redskins training camp hits day five today, and still Albert Haynesworth doesn't practice. That means he'll require at least six days to pass his conditioning test. The battle of Gettysburg took less time to complete than this. Dmitri Shostakovich wrote his String Quartet No. 8 in C minor (Op. 110) in less time than it's taken Haynesworth to pass his test. Charles Lindbergh needed just 33.5 hours to complete the first solo flight across the Atlantic. Heck, if you believe the Bible to be literal, the entire world was created in six days, which is the minimum amount of time it will take Albert Haynesworth to twice run 300 yards in less than 74 seconds.

But enough of the conditioning test. What does Haynesworth do while he's actually on the field? Here are some examples. Indeed, since camp began, at least 59 photos of the man have been filed by The Post and the wire services. I'll group them by category.

(Photos by John McDonnell - TWP, Nick Wass - AP and Win McNamee - Getty)

Garbage can drills

For all the talk about how there are no gimmicks and props now that Jim Zorn is gone, there are tons of photographs of Redskins playing with garbage cans. Not just Haynesworth, either. Sure, Zorn would have been flinging the garbage cans at his quarterback, but these are definitely props. Incidentally, after these photos were taken, two of the garbage cans managed to complete the conditioning drill in the allotted time.

Agility and pad drills

I don't care what anyone says, he looks pretty football-ready to me.

Also, not that I particularly care one way or the other, but if you had any interest in not making this a distraction, wouldn't there be other approaches than public shame? I mean, you could construct Haynesworth's image out of neon toothpicks in the Redskins Park driveway without creating a bigger distraction than this conditioning test has been.

As always, it's the sort of distraction that will be completely ignored if the team wins its first two games, and that will be featured high in the season obituary if things go south. But when it's all the entire town is talking about, I'm pretty sure it counts as a distraction.

Arms raised in conversation drills

"No, seriously, before I dropped the 35 pounds I was this wide."

By Dan Steinberg  |  August 2, 2010; 10:01 AM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: 61-year old journalist passes Haynesworth test
Next: Leonsis: no stage lighting at Wizards games


I believe all this was planned by the coaches
as long as Haynesworth first get injuried
or gaines weight I believe he will be a
starter by week 1

golsten, kemo, and haynesworth
orakpo, rocky, Fletcher, Alexander
hall and rodgers landry and doughty

Carter holiday daniels Tyron buchanon Riley

Posted by: grayterrence | August 2, 2010 10:33 AM | Report abuse

McNabb portis
Trent dockery rabach hicks brown
moss Wade Thomas

Fred Davis, wr Armstrong, wr Kelly,
Dennis Morris

Posted by: grayterrence | August 2, 2010 10:40 AM | Report abuse

I love it when the media gets duped like you and so many others have Stein. Of course its a distraction. Let's be honest, most of the post sports staff covering the Skins, yourself admittedly included, are not the biggest sources of football knowledge. So you're going to go towards the tabloid sensationalism, which this Haynesworth story has been. So you and your Post peers write about him every chance you get b/c its easy and writers tend to be lazy, kinda like Al.

So while everyone is writing about Haynesworth, no one is really pressing Shanahan or Kelly/Thomas about why they are behind Williams/Gallaway. No one has been asking McNabb about why he has poor accuracy on short crossing routes or why he's thrown so many ducks, or why he is having such a hard time learning the offense. We have heard from Portis once all camp, same for LJ. Landry talked once and wasn't asked how he feels after struggling with tackling last season, especially in the secondary and that they haven't gone live with full tackling all preaseaon, nor has anyone asked Shanahan or Haslett(and I've listed to every press conference on and not heard any of these questions asked).

Bottom line, no one is getting in their way by askind them questions about football. You're just reporting on one guy who is 350lbs and comparing a 180lb reporters times in a run to his. At 180lb, Ivan wouldn't be a DT, and his time expectation in the run would be much less, so your point and his, while tabloidish are totally irrelevant and I'm sure Shanny is more than happy that this is how you're reporting on it.

Posted by: 6-2StackMonster | August 2, 2010 11:00 AM | Report abuse

Oh, and as an FYI, they are not garbage cans. Look closely, they have handles on the top, which if they were garbage cans would be the bottom. They are designed for football to simulate a player and give lineman the opposing lines split distance. Do your homework before making a big point about gimmicks that isn't even correct.

Posted by: 6-2StackMonster | August 2, 2010 11:04 AM | Report abuse

Hey Cheese Jiz,

Can you do the shuttle run and beat Fat Albert and the 61yo man?

If I remember correctly back over Memorial Day weekend you were out of breath, red in face and soaked walking from you car to the A course filed a distance of maybe 75yards.

So Cheese lets see if a metro sexual can pass the test you and Wise! Yes you can do it before your pedicure so you don't ruin your french tips!!!

Posted by: sheepherder | August 2, 2010 11:06 AM | Report abuse

@6-2Stack, they're all good points.

The thing about the gimmicks....if Zorn had his giant dodgeballs and slip 'n slides specially designed for football, would that make them less gimmicky? A prop is a prop. Prop drills in early August do not, in my opinion, make you lose games in December. I just think this week's "Zorn's gimmicks are gone!" stories are cheap and silly.

I understand why you, or anyone, would be sick of Haynesworth reporting, but I don't think your suggestions would be much better. "Donovan, why are you throwing so many ducks?" What answer of any value could possibly result from that question? Who cares if he throws ducks in late July? What would happen if I, or another writer, pressed Devin Thomas on his spot in the depth chart? Would that spur him into action?

Fact is, it's hard to report ANYTHING of much predictive value in early August. If it was easy, all the beat writers would just go cash in on Vegas over-unders. The Haynesworth saga might be tabloidy, but it's actually news: something is happening, and here's what it is.

The Ivan stuff and the like is obvious silliness. But it's fun, in my opinion.

Posted by: DanSteinberg1 | August 2, 2010 11:11 AM | Report abuse


It is fun IMO as well and I think you do a great job here keeping things light and humorous. I just have a pet peeve with writers who take things out of context or stretch the truth to make a joke or a point. Your a funny guy without having to do that. As for the props comment, football has always and will always have props, whether it be a blocking sled, dummy pads or in this case a can simulating a lineman. I think there is a difference b/w a blocking dummy and a slip and slide however and while if you'd prefer to call it a prop, a blocking dummy is a piece of equipment, always has been. Where as I could see a slip and slide as being a gimmick.

I would ask you though, who wrote the "Zorn's Gimmicks are gone" stories? Who asked those questions? It wasn't the Redskins doing the writing, it was your peers.

As for the types of questions I gave examples of, they were just quick examples. But to be more specific, I would much rather read about Donovan McNabb's history of innaccuracy, tie them back into the critisisms Aikman had of him years ago and the controversy that created and what he has done over the years to improve on it in his preparation. Maybe follow that up with a question about whether his erratic passing this camp has been about his thinking instead reacting in learning a new offense causing him to revert back to his old habits and ask coaches if that is a concern. But we don't see anything even close to this b/c we get Day 4 of 300yd dash watch. Perfect for everyone but fans who'd like to know about the team that will be on the field.

I guess there are two types of fans, casual observers and football fans. The casual observer was interested in the 5000 cheap Bingo caller references and jokes last year. The football fan wanted to know what specifically the Sherm saw that wasn't working, what they thought they could do to fix it and what adjustments they would try to make. We got none of the football stuff just a whole lot of different ways to joke about him being a Bingo caller.

I know that's not your deal, this is a lighter funnier blog and I like it. But my original comments were about the media in general being duped and I wasn't specific to you there nor here.

Posted by: 6-2StackMonster | August 2, 2010 12:11 PM | Report abuse

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