Portis explains why he wasn't practicing
Here's a handy rule of thumb for Clinton Portis interviews: maybe you'd be better off treating them for entertainment purposes rather than more traditional news conveyance vehicles. I have no idea what of this is true and what is not, but during Part II of his consistently entertaining interview with Comcast SportsNet's Kelli Johnson on Tuesday (watch it here), the matter of practice came up.
Yes, they were talking about practice. Not a game. Practice.
(Part I, remember, involved Portis wanting to give you his ass to kiss.)
It all started when Johnson asked about Portis's relationship with Daniel Snyder. Portis explained that he didn't have any privileges or passkeys to Snyder that the rest of the team lacked, but rather he felt comfortable approaching Snyder to speak during special-teams drills, when he wasn't needed on the field.
"Most people scared of that situation," Portis said. "I guess people would be happy to know right now I don't do none of that. If I see Mr. Snyder, I speak, I keep it moving....It wasn't like I had a special relationship and me and Mr. Snyder left here riding in his car together, hugged up or holding hands.It was the owner. When I was at work, I spoke to him. I didn't call him when i wasn't at work and try to hang with him outside of here. I think so many people just was looking for a reason to point the finger, so many people wanting to say it was me."
Why were they looking to point the finger? Portis continued.
"I guess because I was the name, I was the focal point. It was Oh, Clinton Clinton Clinton Clinton Clinton. I always abided by the rules. I never been arrested, ain't never got in trouble. The only thing I did was miss practice, and I didn't go to the owner to ask him can I miss practice. When I missed practice, I missed practice. It wasn't the owner's decision that I missed."
Gotcha. If you're a literalist, at this point you might be wondering, ok, so why did you miss practice. It involves lust. Cover the children's ears.
"When you lose faith in people and you give your all to people, that's just like you being in a relationship and it's a one-sided relationship," Portis said. "If you married and you putting in all the work and you bringing in all the money, you doing everything your husband asked, and he started complaining and he's not happy with you, you don't look good enough, or he don't like your hair, he want your hair curly and you want your hair straight, all of the sudden you lose the lust.
"You lose the luster for that relationship, and I think that's what I did. Constantly going out giving all I got and having the finger pointed at me, it was just losing the love for the relationship."
The relationship with whom? Sherm Smith? Jim Zorn? Vinny Cerrato? Didn't this issue also come up during the Gibbs era? Wasn't the stated excuse to avoid wear and tear, not because of any curly haired lust issues? See, you're thinking too much. Don't ask questions. Just sit back and enjoy, as Portis describes hearing Mike Shanahan got hired.
"My initial reaction, if we go back to the relationship, was don't fall in love again," he said. "Stay lustful. Enjoy the moment for however long it lasts."
Lot of lust going on in Ashburn this year. Lot. Of. Lust.
(Also, Portis said he wanted to leave Denver when he was traded, that he had asked to leave. Why, Johnson asked.
"What you mean why?" Portis responded. "If CSN paying you $200,000 and ABC gonna pay you a million, I'm sure you gonna leave too.")
(Also, he was asked about the quarterback change.
"Jason was a great person," he said. "So many people tried to turn me and Jason against each other, and me and Jason never had beef, we never had any problems.")
I know what you're thinking. Don't bother.
August 4, 2010; 9:42 AM ET
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