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2010 sports media karaoke: the full report

Well, because I promised....

As you might have heard, Mike Wise and his D.C. sports media friends held this karaoke event earlier in the week to raise money for charity. The only way it could have possibly ended was with Wise on stage surrounded by singing women, and so it was. You can see some video highlights here and here and especially here. For posterity, though, here's a full run-down.

Contestant: Cakes from the Junkies, joined by a deranged listener.
Song: "Wind Beneath My Wings."
Judge's Comment: "He's a diabetic candidate." -- Doc Walker.
My Comment: Forced you to look away in shame.
Score: 9 out of 50.

Contestant: CSN's Kelli Johnson.
Song: "Shoop."
Judge's Comment: "She lost focus in the middle of the song a little bit." -- Dan Hellie.
Judge's Comment: "Overdressed." -- Doc Walker.
My Comment: Solid start, but failed to remain in character. DeAngelo Hall would like to say something here about her height.
Score: 28 out of 50.

Contestant: WJFK's Holden Kushner.
Song: "The Gambler."
Judge's Comment: "He lacks stage presence, but we see that every day from 10 to 2." -- Dan Hellie.
Score: 11 out of 50.

Contestant: Lindsay Czarniak, Jim Vance, and two other WRC cowgirls.
Song: "Family Tradition."
Judge's Comment: "10!" -- Chris Johnson, before the performance began.
Judge's Comment: "Extraordinary! Way too much clothing." -- Doc Walker.
My Comment: Jim Vance has Presence and Charisma. I was awed. Or Awed, I guess.
Score: 35.5 out of 50.

Contestant: Kevin Ewoldt from Hogs Haven.
Song: "Baby Got Back"
Emcee's Comment: "Some people will do anything for charity, and that was about it." -- Matt Kazam.
My Comment: Wow.
Score: 22.8 out of 50.

Contestant: J.P. from the Junkies, joined by Bikini Pro Jessica Jessie and the deranged listener.
Song: "You Give Love a Bad Name."
Contestant's Comment: "I don't really know the words." -- J.P. Flaim.
My Comment: What exactly is a Bikini Pro?
Score: 29 out of 50.

Contestant: Redskins Chris Wilson and Kedric Golston.
Song: "Holy Moly."
Lyric: "Straight out of Cashburn by way of 267."
Contestant's Comment: "I made this song myself on Garage Band. That's true."
Judge's Comment: "I just want them to kill Jay Cutler on Sunday." -- Chris Johnson.
My Comment: Drop me into an NFL locker room at 12:45 on Sunday and you'd probably have a similar clash of cultures.
Score: 37.25 out of 50.

Contestant: Rachel Martin from NPR.
Song: "Proud Mary"
Judge's Comment: "Magnificent. Great legs." -- Liz Drabick.
Emcee's Comment: "Brought to you by the good people of Exxon!"
Score: 32.5 out of 50.

Contestant: CSN's Michael Jenkins.
Song: "Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang."
Judge's Comment: "He did Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg in a sweater from Banana Republic." -- Liz Drabick.
Judge's Comment: "I didn't think it was possible to have more street cred than Kedric Golston and Chris Wilson in a purple sweater." -- Chris Johnson.
My Comment: I sort of want to be Michael Jenkins.
Score: 37.8 out of 50.

Contestant: Luke Russert.
Song: "Born to Run."
Judge's Comment: "A couple of shots before he went on would have taken Luke right over the top." -- Doc Walker
My Comment: We're sort of losing the whole sports media focus, here. Though I like to support people with Western New York roots.
Score: 30.5 out of 50.

Contestant: WUSA's Brittany Morehouse.
Song: "Don't Stop Believing."
Judge's Comment: N/A.
My Comment: She didn't actually sing; she just played air guitar and some other woman sang. Me, I was drinking Molson, or possibly Labatt's.
Score: 30 out of 50.

Contestant: Dave Feldman, Lindsay Murphy and Sue Palka from Fox 5.
Song: "Basketball."
Judge's Comment: "Feldy was clearly the weak link in that group." -- Dan Hellie.
Judge's Comment: "Feldy needed a few cocktails." -- Doc Walker.
Judge's Comment: "I think I have a same-sex crush on Lindsay Murphy." -- Liz Drabick.
My Comment: On a night full of disturbing images, Feldy with a basketball stuck under his shirt endures.
Score: 32.2 out of 50.

Contestant: CSN's Russ Thaler.
Song: "Run to the Hills."
Judge's Comment: "Spectacular." -- Liz Drabick.
Emcee's Comment: "I guess when you broadcast informercials for 22 hours a day, you have time to practice." -- Matt Kazam.
My Comment: Russ Thaler is Rock 'n Roll.
Score: 30.25 out of 50.

Contestant: WTOP's Craig Heist.
Song: "In The Ghetto."
Judge's Comment: "I don't think he drank enough before he got started, and the WTOP shirt took away a point." -- Doc Walker
Judge's Comment: "Craig, that was beautiful." -- Chris Johnson.
My Comment: This was the first song in which fellow media members took photos of me swaying my arms in the air as if in a trance.
Score: 29.33 out of 50.

Contestant: LaVar Arrington, currently employed by every media outlet in this town.
Song: "Sweet Caroline."
Judge's Comment: "I was gonna give him a 6, but then I remembered he ended Troy Aikman's career." -- Chris Johnson.
My Comment: Couldn't stop thinking about Coach.
Score: 31.5 out of 50.

Contestant: WJLA's Britt McHenry.
Song: "Welcome to Miami."
Judge's Comment: [Edited for taste.]
My Comment: Not a fan of media folks announcing rooting interests elsewhere in the historic NL East and Southeast Divisions.
Score: 28.5 out of 50.

Contestant: Mike Wise.
Song: "Livin on a Prayer."
Judge's Comment: "He was shouting his guts out. He's a core guy. He shouted his guts out." -- Doc Walker.
My Comment: Just horrific.
Score: 39.1 out of 50.

By Dan Steinberg  | October 22, 2010; 2:30 PM ET
Categories:  Media  
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I'm with Doc on the KJ critique.

Posted by: LouLewis | October 25, 2010 4:45 PM | Report abuse

This should have been televised.

Posted by: benjaminsumner | October 25, 2010 4:48 PM | Report abuse

That look on his face in the first pic....sums up everything that is annoying about Mike Wise....

Posted by: Maestro301 | October 26, 2010 8:09 PM | Report abuse

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