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Posted at 12:45 AM ET, 12/23/2010

Caps 24/7, episode two

By Dan Steinberg

If you have HBO, you've already watched episode two of the network's 24/7 look at the Capitals and Penguins, and you already love it, and you're already planning on having multiple nightmares revolving around a life-sized version of Sidney Crosby's lucky cup pumping its fist in the club to Jersey Shore music while riding a scooter and cursing. If you don't have HBO, you're a [bleeping] lunatic with likely emotional damage.

Either way, I'm providing 10 highlights from episode two. I can't say the show exactly makes you like sports more than you did before. It just takes you to a funny place, an almost uncomfortably intimate place, where you feel like you understand the thing so much that you want to take a long, long bath in rubbing alcohol mixed with Bengay and Motrin. I'm rambling. On to the highlights. (Some images via @wyshynski.)


Mike Green's Scooter


Hey, look. Mike Green is riding a scooter while wearing his slippers. No, I have no idea why, either. They do look like comfy slippers, though.


Bruce Boudreau's Mouth

Whoops, he did it again.

"You could be anywhere," he told his players during one practice. You're playing [bleeping] hockey for a living. Have some [bleeping] fun out here."

"If they score a goal, [bleep] 'em, they scored a goal," he said later. "Big deal. You know? So let's be ready tomorrow here, let's [bleeping] get the smiles back on our face."

"It was a tough [bleeping] loss at the end," he said, after the Caps fell to Anaheim in overtime. "We made a mistake or two, but that's [bleeping], that's it. You guys got a [bleeping] point, and that's [bleeping], it's a start, it's [bleeping] a start uphill. So don't get [bleeping]depressed and hang your heads on that one, that was a great [bleeping] effort from everybody here, ok?"

I stopped counting F-bombs during episode 2, but suffice it to say, Bruce's magic number for clinching the overall 24/7 F-bomb crown is like negative infinity.


Matt Hendricks's Eye


Hey, look. Matt Hendricks looks like a Zamboni outfitted with special flesh-cutting razor blades just ran over his eye.

"It comes down to having a job and making a career," Hendricks told HBO. "I think it all started last year when I went into training camp. The season before that, I had a really good camp, had some goals, and still got sent down to the minors. I got called up for four games throughout the year, but it wasn't enough. I needed to figure out a way to make the opening night roster. And talking to a good friend of mine, he said 'You've got to fight.' He said, 'If you don't do it, someone else will,' and I kind of stick by that motto now."

Sports are so weird. What a way to make a buck.

"It's not a way of making money that I'd recommend if you didn't have to," Bruce Boudreau said, seemingly agreeing with me. "Sometimes you have to."


Alex Ovechkin's Wife


"I think when I'm gonna find wife, of course I'm gonna live with her," Ovechkin said, during a familial scene at home with mom and dad. "But right now, who gonna cook, who gonna clean my stuff? I'm not. I can't do it."


Mike Knuble's Speech


Bruce Boudreau has gotten more air time than any other member of the Caps thus far, but Mike Knuble might have just won the prize for most effective F-bomb laden intermission speech. This came in Boston, and the team didn't win, but they sure fought back, and since then they haven't lost. His speech:

"Today it's three-zero, and it will not [bleeping] be one of these laughers again. It will not [bleeping] turn into a five-zero, seven-zero [bleeping] laugher, where they're [bleeping] giggling, getting out of their [bleeping] mess here. We are [bleeping] down three-zero, and we are going to come back and we're gonna [bleeping] win this thing. We're not [bleeping] going in the tank here. That is enough right here. That's [bleeping] more than a year's worth. It's not gonna happen again."

That's eight [bleepings] in one speech. I give the "Best Speech of Episode 2" award to Mike Knuble.

The Junkies

During a segment meant to show that the heat was rising within the D.C. media, HBO dubbed in sound from....The Junkies? Yup, there were HBO cameos for Cakes, E.B., Lurch and J.P., questioning whether Bruce Boudreau should be fired. Big-time, boys, big-time. And the Caps decision-makers were obviously impressed.

"Too many reactionaries out there," George McPhee said. "All the experts come out, all the pundits come out with their opinion, and the truth of the matter is, if they knew anything about the game, they'd be in it."

"It's not coming from somebody you respect as a hockey person," Boudreau added.

Now, I'm willing to wager that these guys aren't waiting on every Junky word, and that HBO's producers just used the Junks as an easy fill-in for "reactionary media persons." Still, big-time.


Matt Bradley's Lobster


Someone put a lobster in Matt Bradley's coat pocket during a team dinner in Boston. How exactly do you put a lobster in somebody's coat pocket? Anyhow, the point is, the Caps can have fun during road-trip dinners just as well as the Penguins.


Boudreau's Desperation


And again.

"This is a really important period for this year," he said in Ottawa. "You've got to say it's [bleeping] over. If you don't say it's [bleeping] over, then something bad can really [bleeping]happen. I don't think we want the bad things to happen. Too many of us are enjoying it here, [bleeping] like it here. Now let's get out of our [bleeping] funk and [bleeping] go and do it right now."

Translation: "I like it in the NHL, I like it in Washington, and I don't wan tit to end. Bleep. Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep. Seriously. Bleep."


A win!

"[Bleeping] smiles back,"Alex Ovechkin said, when the losing streak finally ended. "[Bleeping] long time, huh?"

"Where are the cigars?" Hendricks asked. "Who's got the bubbly."


Beat Dat Beat


And after the win, the Caps celebrated with some sort of Jersey Shore anthem that is sure to become a staple of the rest of this season. Fists were pumped. Ironically, of course, but that's the 21st century way.

By Dan Steinberg  | December 23, 2010; 12:45 AM ET
Categories:  Caps, Media  
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Comments

Love the ending after the win at Ottawa.

Nick Backstrom "I am not dancing for you guys" lol

Posted by: lightshow | December 23, 2010 1:15 AM | Report abuse

goddamnit, does mike green really have to ride around in a hot orange vespa? He makes it too easy for Pens fans to make fun of him.

Posted by: ThisGuy | December 23, 2010 2:44 AM | Report abuse

goddamnit, does mike green really have to ride around in a hot orange vespa? He makes it too easy for Pens fans to make fun of him.

Posted by: ThisGuy
----------------------------

Are you effin' kidding me? The dude was cruising on a scooter with slippers on! That's so much cooler than the tired old cliche of the wannabe stud on a Harley or in a Hummer. You think Green needs to prove to anyone that he's a stud?

That was one of the best scenes in episode 2. Green on the Vespa rocked!

Posted by: PrinceBuster21 | December 23, 2010 3:29 AM | Report abuse

Green on a scooter with his Ugg slippers on was cool. Totally RETRO!

Posted by: Japes1974 | December 23, 2010 7:39 AM | Report abuse

Great episode last night, i was so pumped after the Ottawa/Win segment, i couldn't sleep. McPhee is very wise, he seems to be the steady one in this entire thing - he knew we were going to come out of it, and he/Bodreau actually talked about the adversity being a blessing in disguise (i agree).

Steinberg, get over the 'bleeping' stuff. You know how guys talk, it's really not that big a deal. You missed the point on the Knuble speech, he is a leader and was passionate, so what if he swears, thats part of passion.

Posted by: gs12 | December 23, 2010 7:42 AM | Report abuse

The fallout from Episode 2 is likely to be much greater than the fallout from Episode 1.

Boudreau and McPhee may not have been specifically referring to the Junkies in their comments, but that's the way it looked and will be interpreted.

Posted by: CapsNut | December 23, 2010 7:43 AM | Report abuse

GS12, you couldn't sleep after watching the episode?

This episode was done well as clearly it was put together in a matter of days. Boudreau may not have been hamming it up for the cameras but I know some that won't watch because of the cursing. I thought it was funny how they super scripted some of the "F" bombs onto the screen in case the audience couldn't hear the spoken "F" bomb word.

Posted by: GoingGoingGone | December 23, 2010 8:07 AM | Report abuse

PrinceBuster21, uh, those weren't slippers that Green was wearing.

Posted by: GoingGoingGone | December 23, 2010 8:29 AM | Report abuse

Laughing at the thin skinned nancies... "Oh no! Pens fans will make fun of Mike Green! Whatever shall we do?" Mike Green doesn't care and neither should any of you. Those clever Pens fans can use that wit of theirs to keep warm at night after a tough day at the factory or whatever the hell job there is to do in Pittsburgh. Making Primanti Brother's sandwiches I guess.

Posted by: GFisher1 | December 23, 2010 9:07 AM | Report abuse

Knuble's speech was fantastic.

Posted by: AndrewKB | December 23, 2010 9:36 AM | Report abuse

I don't have HBO, but really wish I could watch 24/7. Just can't afford it at this point. However, I just saw that episode 1 is now available for streaming at hbo.com. Anyone know if all the episodes will be available? Or are they just showing the one to try and entice people to sign up?

Posted by: kjhealey | December 23, 2010 9:48 AM | Report abuse

I'm a Pens' fan and I wish I could wear slippers all the time too...no issue with Mike Green wearing them at all!
BTW Primanti Bros. sandwaiches are great...if you're going to the Winter Classic make it a point to get to the original place down in the old Market district.

Posted by: BigDaddy651 | December 23, 2010 9:57 AM | Report abuse

"If they knew anything about the game, they'd be in it."

You know, I'd wager that if the Sports Junkies were running the team they'd luck into at least one playoff series win in the last 13 years, as McPhee himself lucked into.

Posted by: thinicer | December 23, 2010 10:02 AM | Report abuse

All I know is that is the last cup Crosby will ever raise.

Posted by: Mike4169 | December 23, 2010 10:08 AM | Report abuse

I did find it funny that people were complaining about the Caps celebration being contrived because of the HBO cameras being around but yet for the first time in 5 years, Mario shows up to play in the Pens staff pre-game hockey game. Don't tell me it is because he is warming up for the alumni game on 12/31. He was warming up for HBO. In 5 years, I guarnatee he has played in that game, oh at least 50 times.

BTW, being in the TV industry, I understand this and am not condoning it, but both ways folks, both ways.

Posted by: CTCapsPhan | December 23, 2010 10:11 AM | Report abuse

@kjhealey:

Episode 1 is on NHL.com
go here:
http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/console?catid=58&intcmpid=nhl-hp-vidchn-hbo

then click on the Dec 17th, Episode 1...

Posted by: FrankM73 | December 23, 2010 10:33 AM | Report abuse

@kjhealey
"Anyone know if all the episodes will be available? Or are they just showing the one to try and entice people to sign up?"

nhl.com has both episodes. I'd imagine they'll show all of them.

Posted by: AndrewKB | December 23, 2010 10:34 AM | Report abuse

CTCapsPhan,
Mario is actually pretty active with the team until late season most years.
He hasn't been as active the last 2 years because of coaching his son Austin's U15 or U16 team.
The Pens' announcers were actually joking during last night's Pens' game that the guys playing wing with him had better get practicing because of Mario's regular skating with the club.

Posted by: BigDaddy651 | December 23, 2010 11:05 AM | Report abuse

goddamnit, does mike green really have to ride around in a hot orange vespa? He makes it too easy for Pens fans to make fun of him.

Posted by: ThisGuy | December 23, 2010 2:44 AM

Exactly, his license plate might as well say pu##y! At heart, MG is a softie, a good guy, yet we're still expecting him to be exactly the opposite. You can tell when GMGM's face tenses up when talking about MG. His face says, he's big, strong, talented, but g-dammit, I wish he'd grow some and quit being such a pu##y. The pink Vespa sure ain't helpin his cause.

Other than the HBO team and GMGM, my reaction to this series is, "meh." The show is extremely revealing, but not in a good way. The entire cast [players and coaches] are at best boring, and at worst, just plain cheezball dumb. After these 2 episodes, any shread of mystery is gone, and that can't be a good thing for either team or the NHL for that matter.

Posted by: tomfoley1 | December 23, 2010 11:05 AM | Report abuse

Thanks for the info on the on line location of the episodes. I have just watched a few minutes and have the following observations:

1) The feed from the HBO site is higher quality than the feed from the NHL site.

2) Both feeds have been edited to remove the cursing. That sucks! It is kind of funny though to watch Boudreau's speeches. It's kind of like a dubbed Japanese movie. His mouth is moving twice as fast as the audio since they have removed every other word (and inserted a lot of "ums" to make up for it).

Posted by: kjhealey | December 23, 2010 11:09 AM | Report abuse

Caps are coming across as generally more likeable than the smug Penguins. And Bylsma is really weird....................

Posted by: poguesmahone | December 23, 2010 11:13 AM | Report abuse

In all honesty, McPhee and Boudreau should be happy that radio is talking Caps. They weren't just a couple of seasons ago...........

Posted by: poguesmahone | December 23, 2010 11:15 AM | Report abuse

I think Mike Green really loves those slippers, or perhaps owns no other shoes. I saw him wearing those exact slippers at the convention in October. He was also wearing them after practice a couple of weeks ago. I guess the fella likes comfort.

Posted by: TickvsArthur | December 23, 2010 11:22 AM | Report abuse

More (bleeping) fantastic insights. Love HBO!
While the show centers around the teams in the Winter Classic I'd trade some of the drawn out slo-mo shots of elevator doors closing or planes landing for a quick look at the nightly opponents of the Caps/Pens.
Why not show Torts prepping the Rangers (who beat both teams) or an interview with Tim Thomas about facing Ovi or Sid? It's a great sport and there ARE other teams involved.

Posted by: gary9smith | December 23, 2010 11:50 AM | Report abuse

I'm pretty sure it wasn't the Junkies that McPhee referred to as "experts."

Posted by: eternale5150 | December 23, 2010 12:32 PM | Report abuse

This is the best 24/7 EVER! The football show is interesting, but just OK (although I enjoyed watching/hearing Rex Ryan)...the Jimmy Johnson NASCAR program was pretty good and I learned something not being anything close to a racing fan. Hockey, however, really seems to work with this program and I only wish that the show could be 90 minutes each week. I love the fact that HBO always interjects some random insight into these programs like how hockey pads have a constant and unique "funk" and no amount of Febreeze can ever make it go away.

A couple of thoughts/comments...

1) Pretty cool to see Mama and Papa Ovechkin at home and Alex enjoying some home cooking.
2) Would Ovechkin be walking around naked if the HBO cameras were not there? It seems like he is always in a towel and just careful enough not to show his junk.
3) Mike Green's Vespa rules!
4) That 3 year old naming the Pens players was impressive and cute.
5) I guess that it comes with a 12-game winning streak, but not a lot of humility with the Penguins.
6) BB mentioning that the Blackhawks lost 9 straight last season put some perspective on things.
7) Crosby's "lucky" cup was GROSS! (see my comment above regarding stinky hockey equipment)

Posted by: AlligatorArms | December 23, 2010 1:43 PM | Report abuse

this is why i HBO 24/7 series (expect the nascar one). I like hockey before but now i love it!! I am a Caps fan but to see the Pens too is great. I know everyone here in DC hate Sid the kid but to see the other side is cool too. From Ovie, Green, Knuble, and Bruce (I WANT TO WIN THAT IS IT.....the stair after was great). but also from the Pens side. Coach with his kids and not bring home work and the coaches game to injuries.

HBO HAS DONE IT AGAIN!!!!! ALL HAIL HBO!!!

Posted by: Bigmon411 | December 23, 2010 2:38 PM | Report abuse

BTW if want to watch episode 1 again it on the HBO website!!

Posted by: Bigmon411 | December 23, 2010 2:43 PM | Report abuse

Please quit ragging on #52 riding a Vespa, folks;

It's F***ing COLD outside, and he could just as easily have come to Kettler in his Lamborghini or his LMT (Luxury Monster Truck) instead...in which case y'all probably would have ragged on him for that, too...

I swear, people...Just let it go...

Posted by: Rhino40 | December 23, 2010 3:30 PM | Report abuse

I thought the first one was better than last night's episode. The 2nd one was still good but I didn't think it was as well put together. Could be because they planned on a bunch of things to include in the first episode and are now working on storylines more based on what comes up. But it seemed like yesterday's was a bit more all over the place. Next week's should be good with a lot of focus on tonight's game in it.

Posted by: Stu_c | December 23, 2010 3:44 PM | Report abuse

that will be the last cup Crosby lifts? call me when caveman or vespagirl raise their first! lol

Posted by: Pensfan65 | December 30, 2010 11:25 PM | Report abuse

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