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Posted at 11:29 PM ET, 12/15/2010

First episode of 24/7: Bleeping great

By Dan Steinberg


There's not a great way to summarize the first episode of HBO's 24/7 special on the Caps and Penguins, but I'll say this: It was a bleeping great look inside two bleeping teams as they bleeping bleep their bleep to the bleep bleep bleep curse swear badword bleeping bleep bleep to the bleeping double X bleep word to your bleep bleep going to the chapel and I'm bleeping all the bleeps as they bleep to the oh say can you bleep by the bleep's early bleep singing songs of bleep bleep bleep. Plus there was a lot of insight into hockey.

My extremely unofficial count recorded 70 varieties of F-word usage, to go along with four s-words, one bull-[bleep], two asses, a b**ch, and a douche. For a 60-minute show, that's not too shabby. Hide the children, indeed. Bruce Boudreau was the runaway winner in profanity, with a whopping 31 of the F-bomb deployments. It was a monumental performance, highlighted by two speeches.

This one came during the second intermission of the Panthers loss last week, just after the Caps had allowed a deflating goal:

"Hey, have a seat for a second. Lookit, I have never seen a bunch of guys look so [bleeping] down when something bad happens. What are you guys, like prima donna perfect, if you can't [bleeping] handle adversity? So [bleep's] not going right. It's not [bleeping] working the last 10 days. [Bleeping] get your heads out of your [bleep] and [bleeping] make it work by outworking the opposition. You killed two [bleeping] men and then we stand around and watch it while they [bleeping] score here.

[Bleeping] you come to the bench like [bleeping] this, and when the power play's not working, so you're trying to stickhandle, you're looking like this and not standing. Outwork the [bleeping] guy, if you want it. Don't just think you want it. Go out and [bleeping] want it. But you're not looking like you want it, you look like you're feeling sorry for yourselves, and nobody [bleeping] wants anybody that's feeling sorry for themselves. You've got 20 [bleeping] minutes, you're down by one [bleeping] shot. Surely the [bleep] we can deal with this."

Oh, surely. Churchill would be jealous. Then there was his timeout in MSG, when the Caps were getting blitzed by the Rangers. This was said in a hoarse voice, and should properly be read in all caps, or capped Caps, or whatever:

"We're lookin [bleeping] defeated. We're looking [bleeping] defeated right now. Show some [bleeping] courage and [bleeping] play the game properly. You'll score three [bleeping] goals if you do. I'm [bleeping] sick and tired of losing. Let's [bleeping] get our [bleeps] out of our heads."

And take it one time at a game, too. (Actually, an entire BoudreauMetaphors meme exploded onto Twitter, if you're into that kind of thing.) To be honest, the Garden brought out the bleep in all the Caps. After Alex Ovechkin got in a rare fight, he skated in front of his bench and yelled "[Bleeping] come on for [bleep's] sake!!!!!" at his teammates.

"[Bleeping] right," Matt Hendricks then told him in the penalty box.

And the crowning moment of the episode was given to Caps assistant Dean Evason, addressing his reeling team in the dressing room. Believe it or not, he went to the bleeping well of bleeps.

"It's a [bleeping] joke," he said. "Some of you guys never would [bleeping] get into a [bleeping] pushing match or a [bleeping] face wash because you're not even close to the [bleeping] battle. When is one of you guys gonna grab your [bleeping] sack and do something about it. [Bleeping] compete. Just get in [bleeping] someone's face. [Bleep], our [bleeping] best [bleeping] player's [bleeping] fighting. The greatest player in the world. Someone grab their [bleeping] sack and [bleeping] compete, please."

I can't bleeping wait for the next episode.

(Other cool stuff not involving the Penguins: Mike Green has some sort of MCL issue, Scott Hannan is looking to rent a house in Alexandria, Bruce Boudreau did an interview with some sort of condiment on his face, the Penguins are feeling awfully jolly, and Alex Ovechkin was pictured in his underwear. Ok, maybe "cool" wasn't the right word. Bleep it, I'm done.)


(Via @wyshynski)

By Dan Steinberg  | December 15, 2010; 11:29 PM ET
Categories:  Caps  
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Comments

i don't have HBO but i'm dying to watch this show! Where can I see the first episode?

Posted by: RussianMachineNeverBreaks | December 16, 2010 12:03 AM | Report abuse

Bleeping awesome.

Posted by: dalison | December 16, 2010 12:04 AM | Report abuse

Bleeping Great is right! Can't wait for Episode 2

Posted by: lightshow | December 16, 2010 12:09 AM | Report abuse

Sounds great. I added HBO in 2001 just for Band of Brothers (and Cox Cable had the bright idea to take it away from me when they revamped their channels a couple years later).

I'd be tempted to add it just for this, though maybe I'll wait for the DVD. :D

And this is why I'm not really convinced a coaching change would help, at least not from a "the team needs a tough guy coach" angle. It's not like Boudreau and his staff are "soft," and it's not like they aren't kicking the team's a** to try to get them to play better.

I hope tonight's game is a step in the right direction (an OT beats an L, right?), even if that OT shot was crushing.

Posted by: blackjack65 | December 16, 2010 12:13 AM | Report abuse

Bruce sounds like a complete, total idiot: "Show some [bleeping] courage and [bleeping] play the game properly. You'll score three [bleeping] goals if you do." THAT's a professional coach? The guy's a tool and has been in way over his head for a long, long time. Earth to Ted.... this is getting as obvious as FIRE CASSIDY!

Posted by: capscapscaps2 | December 16, 2010 12:26 AM | Report abuse

@capscapscaps2,

Actually after watching the show I think Bruce is a much better coach than I gave him credit for. And he was absolutely right when he made that speech. What he's trying to do is get the Caps players to stop giving up if they surrender a couple of goals and remember what that team is capable of when they keep playing hard. Last season if they were down by a couple of goals it didn't phase them because they knew if they kept playing hard they'd get results. Right now if they get down a goal they start playing like the game's over instead of continuing to play hard. What they need to do is break that mentality and know that they have a roster that can come back from a few goals if they play hard.

Posted by: Stu_c | December 16, 2010 2:04 AM | Report abuse

The show was great but depressing as hell. Maybe its the editing but, the Caps seem to lack chemistry off the ice, little to no chatter in the locker room, at practice, etc. Meanwhile, the Pens, as much as I hate them, are eating out together, joking off the ice, etc. Something is amiss based on what they showed on this episode.

Posted by: sportsjunkie29 | December 16, 2010 2:06 AM | Report abuse

This coach does NOT motivate his team. He's a loser trying to inspire hard play with wasted f bombs. The players don't even seem to listen to him. He needs to talk directly to the players from the heart and make f'ing eye contact. What a joke of a coach. Please fire this guy. Ted, your coach is making you and the city of DC look bad.

Posted by: One9 | December 16, 2010 2:15 AM | Report abuse

Yeah, BB sucks... he's only got the best record of any coach in the league since he entered the NHL.

The Caps are in a rut; they'll come out of it. Something nobody's commented on is the revelation in the show that the Caps have had a bug running through them during this losing streak. I mean, look at the no-names they have called up to cover for illness and injury. Shall we call for the immediate firing of Greg Smith for this?

Posted by: Chaspari1 | December 16, 2010 5:44 AM | Report abuse

My wife made a interesting comment about coach BB, he sounds stupid using the F word all the time. I would have to agree with her.

Posted by: noreaster1 | December 16, 2010 7:19 AM | Report abuse

In Dan's first picture I am wondering if Boudreau just came in from playing Santa at the team Christmas party.

I thought a couple of fights were pretty interesting. like the one where England of the Pens got in the fight and you can hear the refs say "c'mon guys, finish the fight". And in the Ovechkin/Dubinsky fight, you can hear them saying to each other "good job" at the end of the fight.

To all of you fighting haters out there, this is part of the culture of the game.

Posted by: jimc93 | December 16, 2010 7:26 AM | Report abuse

I wonder if a little boy will do a youtube video recreating the Boudreau speech like the one of Herb Brooks in ""Miracle".

Posted by: 08Cubs | December 16, 2010 7:29 AM | Report abuse

Loved it! For those offended by the numerous uses of profanity, sorry, but that is why it is on HBO. And for those who believe Bylsma looks angelic next to BB, you must not have seen the interview where he states that he is not allowing himself to use profanity in this special because his son might see it one day...so it is probably a skewed perspective of his real day to day behavior. I love it, it is raw and I can't wait until next week!

Posted by: NatyBG | December 16, 2010 8:10 AM | Report abuse

after watching the game last night- found this episode to be great catharsis. the storylines for the classic look great... i still believe they can turn this around.

Posted by: Aschach | December 16, 2010 8:36 AM | Report abuse

The first point I would like to make is that at some point, the excessive use of profanity sounds more like a parody that an emotional rant.

And as for the comparison between Bylsma and Bourdreau, you don't need to drop eight f bombs during a timeout when you're on a 12 game winning streak.

Posted by: CapsNut | December 16, 2010 9:12 AM | Report abuse

It greatly amuses me that the Washington Post apparently considers the word Steinberg spelled "b**ch" to be too offensive for print, yet Evason's use of "sack" (when its meaning is readily apparent) is OK without being censored.

I don't have HBO (not worth paying for it just to watch this show), so I don't have any comment about the program itself.

Posted by: 1995hoo | December 16, 2010 9:14 AM | Report abuse

you honestly cant sit here and tell me that you think boudreau is motivating. the dude is pathetic.

Posted by: seppalepp | December 16, 2010 9:20 AM | Report abuse

Bleepin' bleep. I will have to find a way to see this as there is no way in bleep I would ever pay for HBO. I'm sure the internet can help me out. Bleepin Caps!

Posted by: futbolclif | December 16, 2010 9:24 AM | Report abuse

I didn't watch the entire thing because I got tired of seeing the supremely serene and relaxed Pens juxtaposed with the depressed and defeated Caps. Or maybe I just missed the good parts (Ovie in his undies mmmmmm...). Did they have to focus so much on the current "winning-vs-losing streaks" and include footage up to and including Sunday's game? As I recall, it was the Caps that were hot in the first couple of months while Cindy and the Pens were not doing very much at all.

Posted by: AmyS1 | December 16, 2010 9:25 AM | Report abuse

A train could have rumbled past, and I wouldn't have noticed, it was captivating, well done HBO!

Posted by: Hattrik | December 16, 2010 9:25 AM | Report abuse

"Meanwhile, the Pens, as much as I hate them, are eating out together, joking off the ice, etc. Something is amiss based on what they showed on this episode." The Pens aren't in the middle of a losing streak, DUH! Of course everybody is happy in their locker room.

Posted by: futbolclif | December 16, 2010 9:32 AM | Report abuse

Watching this made me think they need to fire BB immediately. It was depressing watching the Pen's seemingly first class organization against the caps. It could have been the comparison just hitting at the wrong time with pens win streak and caps losing streak but BB with the ketchup on his face, the great uncle beer belly and constant fbombs appeared clownish to me.

Posted by: jdb70 | December 16, 2010 9:46 AM | Report abuse

I'm so happy this show introduced me to the (I'm assuming) Canadian phrase "(Bleeping) right!". At first glance you would think it means "You are correct" but that didnt fit the context the two times I made note of it. I think it means "Good job". At least how that is how I am going to use it

Posted by: makplan20002 | December 16, 2010 9:52 AM | Report abuse

The Pens were also eating out and joking together because they went on a road trip. The Caps were at home the whole time.

Posted by: makplan20002 | December 16, 2010 9:54 AM | Report abuse

To watch this and fully understand what is going on, you have to understand the circumstances.

The series essentially "begins" with the Caps reeling from a terrible free-fall after putting up a fantastic start to the season and you have the Pens finally coming into their system after struggling for the first few weeks of the season.

It's a great way for HBO to showcase two very different streaks hockey teams go through all the time and how a team's demeanor is very different depending on how your team is trending.

The frustration brewing as the losing streak continues is obvious and entirely understandable. That was one episode that covered a 3-4 game stretch. A peak into a tiny window on a castle of a season.

Likewise, the happy fun-times you see in the Pens locker room isn't the status quo of an NHL team. It's what a locker room looks like when you are winning games and the puck is bouncing your way. When hard work on the ice is paying off, enjoying your free time is a lot easier.

As a Caps fan, I am frustrated. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to be a player. Night after night nothing seems to go right. Pucks are magnetized to posts, juicy rebounds are only there for the other team, goalies are robbing open net shots... it's got to be exhausting for everyone just trying to turn the team back around.

Essentially the first episode was a showcase for:
- This is what a locker room looks like when your team is playing well.
- And over here, this is what a locker room looks like when your team isn't playing well.

Posted by: MillBurray | December 16, 2010 9:59 AM | Report abuse

Oh, and keep in mind:

The Pens just lost 2 in a row (that will be featured in the next episode) and are only 4 points ahead of the Caps in the EAST standings.

IF (a big if) the Caps can win a few games in their upcoming games (last night's loss won't be a featured game of ep. 2), then I have a feeling the show will have a different feel to it when it next airs on December 22nd.

Posted by: MillBurray | December 16, 2010 10:10 AM | Report abuse

I didn't know that Santa Boudreau cursed some damn much!

Posted by: PublicEnemy1 | December 16, 2010 11:23 AM | Report abuse

Fascinating TV, but I came away from that episode losing some confidence in BB. It just highlighted how poor he is at communicating, imo. How do you articulate your point or motivate your team when every other word is a swear word that interrupts what you're trying to say? Sure, swear to emphasize, but it should be used as seasoning, not the main course. There's no cohesiveness or direction to BB's messaging - it's all just a mindless stream of frustration.

You don't think the players are frustrated enough without their coach adding to it? I'm sure that he's not always like this, but the fact that he can't keep his composure and take some of the pressure off his team when they need it most is depressing.

Posted by: ngu327 | December 16, 2010 12:53 PM | Report abuse

I have to agree that the episode was a little frustrating and definitely a great insight into what everyone was whining was a serene, la-di-dah attitude in the Capitals' locker room. They and their coaches are just as p*$$ed off as we are, if not more. The rest of the bird dung who've been posting on here calling for Boudreau's firing or just outright being 12 year old tools with their snide comments about Boudreau, go find something productive to do. Morons.

Posted by: LeftCoastCapsFan | December 16, 2010 1:11 PM | Report abuse

What a great bleeping article. I can't bleeping wait to watch this bleeping show tonight when I bleeping get home!!!! BLEEP YEAH!!! C-A-P-S CAPS CAPS BLEEPING CAPS!!!

Posted by: cayes56 | December 16, 2010 1:20 PM | Report abuse

It is all about coaching and proper use of personnel. Thomas Fleischmann just had a hat trick in only his 7th game with the Avalanche. In 7 games, he already has as much points as he had in 23 games with the Capitals. Here is what the Avalanche coach, Sacco, has to say about Fleischmann's play:

"We’re trying to put him in a position where he can succeed,” Sacco said.”

That is coaching, not cursing or wishing! It was also a travesty for Boudreau to be satisfied with just gaining a point in a loss. Just remember, this is not a shoot out loss but an overtime loss. At least with a shootout loss, you can say that they do not have shootouts in the Playoffs, but unfortunately they do have overtime in the Playoffs.

Posted by: JohnWWW | December 16, 2010 1:28 PM | Report abuse

Wow, is Bruce really THAT fat?

Anyway, this episode really makes me miss the era of Gibbs, Landry, Walsh, Dungy, Noll, Bowman, et. al.; that is the quiet, dignified in-control coach as opposed to the Rex Ryan-esque raving lunatic on the sideline that is taking over all of sports now. I blame ESPN.

Posted by: playahatah | December 16, 2010 2:05 PM | Report abuse

Best image from episode #1:

The sick Caps player standing in his shorts in the hallway, like he had just hit the teacher in the back of the neck with a spitball!

(As a side note on the editing, when Dupuis was driving "to" the practice rink, they showed him turning right down a two lane blacktop---that road would not have taken him to Southpoint, but back towards the city. HBO is putting together a TV show that they feel gets them the most most bang for the buck, not necessarily one that will be 100% factually true.)

Posted by: johngaltx2 | December 16, 2010 2:14 PM | Report abuse

I was on the fence with Bruce as far as it being time for him to go. I still have faith that he "may" be able to turn this around. But....the HBO show really disappointed me. I personally do not think a professional player needs or responds to the constant use of the "F" word to get a point across. I found myself thinking he was more of a joke because of it, than a coach trying to motivate his team. I may be wrong, but I don't think it's necessary, professional, or productive to use that language. It certainly didn't help the night he made that "motivational" speech.

Posted by: Harleydan1 | December 16, 2010 2:14 PM | Report abuse

I have HBO and watched it. The thing i came away with is leadership. The Pens seem to have it, the Caps don't. Maybe it's because of the winnning/losing streak - but the Caps just seem to have a talented team with no leaders. The Pens have likely a less talented team but more leaders and passion.

It's an excellent documentary, also makes me wonder if the pressure from being filmed constantly is exposing these teams. Pens step up in pressure, Caps....

Posted by: gs12 | December 16, 2010 2:34 PM | Report abuse

Didn't watch the show. But as someone who grew up around Pittsburgh I think there are of couple of things that cause the teams to be viewed differently.
First, the Pens' core group of Crosby, Malkin, Fleury & Staal have all sort of grown up together since all of them made the club at very young ages. That probably makes them closer than some other teams.
Second, the Pens are literally like rock stars in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh isn't a very big city so they're easily recognized and EVERYONE loves them(they actually outdrew fans to the Cup celebration parade versus the Steelers' parade for the last Super Bowl). DC is still pretty much a Redskins' town in spite of Dan's best efforts to the contrary.
Finally, having Lemieux as an owner has helped the team in countless ways. Mario's leadership is what got them their new arena, attracted(Michalek)& kept(Matt Cooke)free agents at discounted salaries and has given the franchise credibility(similar to the Rooney's with the Steelers and unlike Nutting with the Pirates). Even Crosby, Malkin & Fleury accepted less money on their deals to accomodate additonal signings. I guess that either makes them leaders or guys willing to sacrifice to win...either way it seems to be working.
As for the Caps' current streak...they'll be fine. From the games I've watched(i.e. when I can't get a Pens' game)it doesn't seem like anything egregious. Just some adjustments.

Posted by: BigDaddy651 | December 16, 2010 4:12 PM | Report abuse

The episode was absolutely shocking for the way it revealed Boudreau's apparent lack of coaching ability. Assuming that the video shown/used is representative of his coaching skills (debatable/unknown), he may as well be a random drunken fan plucked from the cheap seats: dropping F bombs left and right, and challenging players' manhood instead of giving them X's and O's insight. Yikes.

Posted by: cali_snowboarder | December 16, 2010 4:37 PM | Report abuse

I don't know what the national ratings were for this, or what they will be once the four episodes are over, but HBO struck GOLD!

I can't say I like the editing, but obviously that's entertainment (and I'm biased).

Posted by: Rainier1 | December 16, 2010 9:23 PM | Report abuse

I don't know what the national ratings were for this, or what they will be once the four episodes are over, but HBO struck GOLD!

I can't say I like the editing, but obviously that's entertainment (and I'm biased).

Posted by: Rainier1 | December 16, 2010 9:23 PM | Report abuse

I love my Caps, but I have to admit - when all you [as a player] receive after failing performances is another 'bout of being screamed at - I don't think that's motivating. These guys are a bunch of pro, not all fresh out of the jrs guys - they KNOW they are playing like crap.

Yelling at them might have worked for a bit - but that's just not enough any longer. You get yelled at long enough and you are going to just tune it out, shut down, and be angry without focus. You're not going to become more receptive - and receptive to what at this point? There is no attempt to dissect what exactly is going wrong and how to fix it. Just the expectation to fix it for [bleeps] sake.

Stop yelling - stop switching the lines - get the guys to communicate with each other and start acting like a team - not a sea of isolated players.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Stop screaming and start scheming - great talent 'alone' does not win hockey games.

Loved the show - but it offered a whole new insight into what's been going on.

Posted by: HikinCatfish | December 17, 2010 3:06 PM | Report abuse

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