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Posted at 12:56 PM ET, 12/13/2010

Papa John's bizarre Torain topping giveaway

By Dan Steinberg


Remember the classic Papa John's Redskins next-day special? One free topping for every touchdown, and double the free toppings if they win?

The point is really to offer an absurd number of free toppings in an attempt to lure robotic frozen-meal-eating drones out of their habit and to encourage them to pick up the phone and order some delicious, steaming, crusty Papa John's delights.

Problem is, the promotion only works if the team in question ever scores. Or wins. Or scores and wins.

Here are the number of free toppings the Redskins have earned fans this week, in order: 2, 3, 1, 4, 2, 2, 4, 3, 4, 2, 1, 1, 2. I mean, seriously, Redskins? One free topping? You think someone is going to support your corporate partner because of a single free topping?

So finally, the pizza chain just gave up this week, picking an absurd premise to offer Redskins fans 10 free toppings. Ryan Torain's 121 first-quarter rushing yards? Shouldn't that mean 121 free toppings? Or at least maybe 12.1? Or are first-quarter records worth five free toppings, and they're doubled when the team loses on a last-second special-teams gaffe?

Dunno. Anyhow, get your topping-slathered pizza, if you like.

(Via Reader David.)

By Dan Steinberg  | December 13, 2010; 12:56 PM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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Comments

8 topping pizza for his fantasy score yesterday would have made sense (to men)

Posted by: Kev29 | December 13, 2010 1:14 PM | Report abuse

What a bunch of losers... They should give toppings for each 3 & Out. From the offense...

Posted by: Scoonie97 | December 13, 2010 1:38 PM | Report abuse

This is great. Watching yesterday, my buddies and I were trying to figure out how the Skins would lose. My theory was a Gano missed FG in overtime. Little did I know, they came up with a way to lose it in regulation.

/whatajoke

Posted by: jpfterps | December 13, 2010 2:08 PM | Report abuse

REDSKINS TEAM WITH PAPA JOHN’S TO FEED THE HOMELESS

ASHBURN, VA – The Washington Redskins have signed a special partnership deal with the Papa John’s Pizza franchise to help feed the homeless residents of the nation’s capital city.

Pizza franchise founder “Papa” John Schnatter explained the rationale for the agreement.

“Look, earlier this season, we signed a deal with the Redskins to offer free pizza toppings to our customers for every touchdown scored by the team,” he said. “Given all of the hype we heard in the off-season, we were excited about the potential of having a really high powered scoring machine in Washington and thought this deal could really improve our business there -- so we went out and pre-ordered tons and tons of pepperoni, Italian sausage, anchovies, ham, pineapple, olives, green peppers, extra cheese and the like.”

He continued, “The trouble was, for all of the hype and fanfare, who could have predicted the Redskins offensive unit would be so anemic, or that the defensive unit would rate out among the worst in the league?”

Papa John went on to say that he was concerned about being left “holding the bag” on tons and tons of pizza toppings, which would all go to waste if they aren’t used soon. “So we asked ourselves, how to we turn all of this negativity into a good news story?”

Long story short: the Redskins and Papa John’s will team up to distribute plastic baggies full of the extra pizza toppings to any homeless soul who attends the final Redskins game of the season January 2 at FEDEX Field against the New York Giants.

If you’re homeless and destitute, all you will need to do is find Redskins team owner and head philanthropist Dan Snyder, wide receiver Santana Moss or return specialist Brandon Banks –- who will be easy to spot because they will be wearing special blue costumes at the gates to FEDEX Field – and calling themselves “Papa’s Smurfs.”

According to Snyder, “It just seemed the natural thing for us to do for all of the vagrants and bums of Washington. If anyone can empathize with being down on your luck, on a long losing streak, and out of options -- it’s most certainly the players and fans of our team.”

Posted by: Vic1 | December 13, 2010 2:17 PM | Report abuse

How about last year against the Rams when the Redskins won, but didn't score a single touchdown thereby earning fans ZERO toppings on their pizzas..

Posted by: CapsNut | December 13, 2010 2:27 PM | Report abuse

It's trending towards Papa John's actually charging EXTRA...or maybe they show up at your door even though you didn't prder anything. Knock, knock, "Papa Johns - you owe us twenty bucks...the Skins just got their a$$es kicked again." Snyder is probably in cahoots with that guy, LOL!

Posted by: dbunkr | December 13, 2010 3:33 PM | Report abuse

Hey, don't look a pizza horse in the mouth

Posted by: tundey | December 13, 2010 6:04 PM | Report abuse

Special this week -- If you order a Papa John's Pizza before Saturday, Ryan Torain will personally deliver it.

Posted by: Vic1 | December 14, 2010 8:03 AM | Report abuse

Vic1 | December 13, 2010 2:17 PM

lmao!

Posted by: RedCherokee | December 14, 2010 10:00 AM | Report abuse

Vic1 | December 13, 2010 2:17 PM

Okay, it was funny the first time.

Posted by: katedog | December 14, 2010 1:42 PM | Report abuse

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