Pittsburgh City Paper loves Ovechkin
Here's one similarity between Washington and Pittsburgh. Washington City Paper puts D.C. sports figures on its cover, adorned with sloppily drawn-on horns. Pittsburgh City Paper does the same. Highlights from this week's cover story:
* Because Ovechkin speaks with a thick Russian accent -- just like the villains in Cold War-era action movies -- it's easy to make him out as the bad guy. Hollywood stereotypes and political propaganda aside, Ovie does a great job of being the bad guy on his own. How many players skid to a stop during a pre-game skate to purposely shower a kid with ice shavings? Earlier this year before a playoff game, Ovechkin did just that to a youth-hockey mite waving a Montreal Canadiens flag in a pre-game ceremony.
* On the ice, Crosby plays a meticulous, fundamental, team-first brand of hockey, and off the ice, his modest post-game interviews are so politically correct he could make a Sister of Mercy sound like a truck driver. Ovie, on the other hand, plays a me-first, balls-to-the-wall brand of hockey -- and is never afraid to tell you how awesome he is.
* To date, Sidney Crosby has never been seen pushing a camera out of his face, slugging someone else's agent in a nightclub brawl, loathing Evgeni Malkin, or wearing a silly costume in the NHL's annual skills competition. Ovie might have been guilty of doing some of these things. When Crosby scores a goal, he hugs his teammates; when Ovechkin scores a goal he has his teammates hug him.
* Ovechkin is evil incarnate, filled with demonic spirits raised from the mists of Russian history, with Rasputin's very essence pouring in bilious excess out of his orifices, polluting the world with venomous self-loving sludge.
* An infinite number of Sidney Crosbys can dance on the head of a pin while also shooting pucks into a clothes dryer.
(Image via @nateewell.)
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