Bailout Humor From the Motley Fool

Because sometimes you just have to laugh: Our friends from Alexandria, the Motley Fool, have assembled a (yes, we need to say it) fictional list of the Top 20 rejected candidates for the next Treasury Secretary, all beaten out by nominee Tim Geithner, to succeed Hank Paulson.

A couple examples:

1. Robert Rubin

Pros: Consummate Wall Street pro; successful stint as Treasury secretary under Bill Clinton.
Cons: Status as Citigroup director and senior counselor no longer seems like a big plus.

2. Paul Volcker

Pros: Experienced; brilliant; known and revered throughout the power corridors of both Washington, D.C. and New York.
Cons: According to most actuarial tables, is already dead; at 6-foot-7, 200+ pounds, may accidentally ingest Robert Reich.

3. Larry Summers

Pros: Previous direct-on-the-job experience; has handled global financial crises already.
Cons: Daughter Suzanne often gets into trouble with landlords Farley and Roper; ensuing zany cover-ups may involve father.

4. Cap'n Jack Sparrow

Pros: Good with treasure, which is close enough to being good with Treasury; no other pirates in the Cabinet.
Cons: Drunken, slurred insistence to "keep to the Code" not likely to impress at congressional hearings.

5. Gov. Jon Corzine

Pros: Has legally mandated former-CEO-of-Goldman-Sachs background.
Cons: Physically indistinguishable from Ben Bernanke, as all bald-headed men with gray beards look identical during a financial crisis.

You can see the whole list here.

-- Frank Ahrens
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