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Posted at 10:10 AM ET, 11/28/2007

Jen's Wish List: Starry Nights

By Jen Chaney

Thus far, my fellow Gurus have crafted wish lists that are grounded in some semblance of reality. An expensive reality, but reality nonetheless.

Me? I'm hoping for things that are never, ever going to happen. That way, when Santa doesn't hook me up with any of these experiences, I can't feel too badly about it.

I've made my list. I've checked it twice. And yeah, it's still ludicrous. Without further ado, here are the three things I'm wishing for:

All Jen wants for Christmas is Bono, hosting an iPod jukebox night. Surely Santa can make that happen. (Nikki Kahn/The Washington Post)

1. Movie Night With George Clooney

This is actually not such a far-out wish. First of all, Clooney frequently comes to Washington. Secondly, I've been in his presence twice, once by chance when he was filming an episode of "K Street" at the Kennedy Center, and another time when I interviewed him for this here Web site. Of course, I am sure he still couldn't pick me out of a lineup even if I was wearing a huge name tag that said JEN CHANEY in flashing neon letters. But that's neither here nor there.

The evening would begin with a glass of wine or two at a swanky bar with a Cary Grant-ish vibe, maybe PX (a solid suggestion from Fritz) or Degrees at the Georgetown Ritz.

From there, it's off to the Uptown, which we would rent for the night so George could show me his two favorite movies of all time and maybe, if I'm lucky, some lost episodes from his stint on "Facts of Life." I'm sure we'd cap off the evening by planning a heist of some kind, perhaps involving a Las Vegas casino and a little help from Matt Damon, Don Cheadle and Casey Affleck. Best holiday gift ever. Unless I get to experience wish No. 2....

2. iPod Jukebox Night With Bono

It's no secret that one of my major missions in life is to meet Bono, though I have pretty much given up on the quest at this point. But since I'm just wishing here, I'd love to have the U2 frontman take over iPod jukebox night at Cafe Saint-Ex.(Fritz, one of the founders of this regular event, surely would not mind.) He could spin whatever is on his personal playlist, including a new U2 tune or two. And if he decides to bring some of his buddies (Edge, Larry, Adam, Brangelina...), all the better.

But since this also seems unlikely, there is wish No. 3.

3. '80s Night With Judd Apatow

Most Judd Apatow movies feature at least one wild scene at a bar (see $9 beer night in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin"). They also feature plenty of cursing and inappropriate humor. All of which leads me to believe Apatow would be a fun guy to hang out with, in a neurotic, vaguely sarcastic sort of way. (And neurotic and vaguely sarcastic is the only way I know how to be.)

Since Apatow produced one of my favorite TV shows of all time, "Freaks and Geeks," and that comedy was set in 1980, I'd love to take him to the '80s Dance Party at Club Heaven. We could sit antisocially in a corner and not talk to anyone else while listening to Duran Duran and Joan Jett and complaining about life's rampant injustices. In other words, it would be just like going to a junior high school dance. Except there would be alcohol. And Judd Apatow would be there. And that sounds kind of awesome.

So in conclusion, if you know Mr. Clooney, Bono or Mr. Apatow and want to make a young woman's holiday wishes come true, please feel free to forward this blog post to them. I'm sure they'll be happy to turn my dreams into a reality.

P.S. I'd also like an iTouch.

By Jen Chaney  | November 28, 2007; 10:10 AM ET
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