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Posted at 3:53 PM ET, 10/22/2008

That Funk in the Velvet Lounge Last Night

By David Malitz

No, I'm not talking about the music, although that was certainly notable with the Japanese garage rock insanity of DMBQ. You know a show is awesome when it ends with the drummer crowd-surfing and playing drums at the same time. And when the guitarist is literally crawling in the rafters of the club, screaming into some sort of a gas mask/microphone contraption.

And he was lucky he had that gas mask. Because if you were at the Velvet last night, well, I hope you aren't wearing anything you wore in the club into the office today. If so, you aren't going to be too popular. (Oh, who am I kidding? If you were at the show last night you don't have an office job. The singer for DMBQ -- who went on close to 12:30 a.m. -- even said as much: "You all must not have jobs, I guess.") When you walked upstairs to the performance area, that odor smacked you in the face about halfway up. It was a serious, serious stench.

A few minutes after I got up there, someone else walked up and immediately shouted, "Whoa, someone didn't shower today!" If only it were that minor. I know what it's like to be around people who don't shower. I lived with some hippies for a year in college. (I still have nightmares about those 3 a.m. drum circles in the living room.) It was nothing close to the odor in the Velvet last night. I was sitting near a few people who were trying to pinpoint exactly what the smell was, and I think they did a good job.

Person 1: "It smells like my Grandma's attic had sex with a dumpster."

Person 2: "No, it smells like a rat took a [expletive]. And then ate that [expletive]. And then died. Two years ago."

Ah, the Velvet Lounge.

By David Malitz  | October 22, 2008; 3:53 PM ET
Categories:  Bars and Clubs, Music  
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quite possibly the funniest thing i've read today. thanks!

Posted by: IMGoph | October 22, 2008 4:39 PM | Report abuse

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