'Housewives' nightlife Ep. 5: In Washington, we get a hotel
It's been two whole weeks since we left Tareq and Michaele Salahi, Mary Schmidt Amons, and Stacie and Jason Turner at the Winery Whose Name No Longer Bears Repeating. (Need a refresher? Start here.)
With the grape stomp, dinner and many glasses of wine behind them, it's time for dessert, and for those who live in glass houses to start hurling ... well, you know. So Tareq informs Mary that he suspects her daughter Lolly of having taken his car and his polo gear for a joyride. And, he insinuates the FBI is onto poor Lolly and her merry crew of joyriders (because the FBI clearly has nothing better to do than investigate the theft of a polo jersey).
Usually, the characters -- er, cast members -- on the "Real Housewives of D.C." seize every opportunity to explain the do's and don'ts of Washington etiquette. But this time, I'll do the honors.
One doesn't have to be well acquainted with Emily Post to know that its soooo gauche to make accusations of criminal activity at a Washington dinner table. No, in this city, we save that sort of talk for a congressional hearing.
Now that's out of the way, back to the 'Wives.
The Salahis do eventually relent (the noble Turners intervene), and Mary is able to stop bawling long enough for everyone to pile into the limo (Mary takes her wine with her, naturally) and get the heck out of Hume.
Thank God, because that's the last we hear of wine for the rest of the episode.
Instead, Lynda Erkiletian, Stacie and Cat Ommanney catch up over pedicures at the Red Door Spa, where, of course, the Lolly debacle is the topic du jour. The myth this scene perpetuates is that fancy feet are for subsidized sorts of ladies. But any of us can get a posh pedi at a cut-rate next month when Spa Week returns to D.C. (and brings $50 massages and facials to the un-salt-scrubbed masses); salons start taking appointments Monday. (And yes, the Red Door Spas -- the gold standard in Washington -- are among the participating spas.)
But getting pedis are just one of the outings the 'Wives made this week to talk about pressing matters such as whether Tareq was wrong about Lolly, moving to McLean, and Michaele's clearly sociopathic two-hand handshake. (Note to producers: Isn't Washingtonienne available?)
While Michaele and her assistant catch up at Palette, the restaurant at the Madison Hotel, the Turners and Lynda and her man, Ebong, get together for a little double-date at a nifty little place called Postscript. Look familiar? It's at the Madison Hotel! What a coincidence! (Would nowhere else let these society women in the door?)
The only new sight we see is when the so-fake-she-must-be-real lobbyist Edwina Rogers and Cat meet up for afternoon tea at the Mayflower Hotel. (More here on that; it's one of the city's poshest teas.)
The Mayflower is classic Washington. In addition to its perfectly nice tea, it's where Monica Lewinsky was interviewed during the Clinton impeachment brouhaha, and where Eliot Spitzer's career met its unfortunate end when he arranged to meet a call girl named "Kristen" there, and where JFK is rumored to have had trysts.
So seriously, why is Edwina looking downright uncomfortable over something as innocent as a perfectly friendly health-care debate with Cat? (Though Edwina's deflection -- "Is that a cucumber sandwich?" -- was my favorite line of the night, truly fitting for the Mayflower.)
Poor Edwina. The episode ends with her throwing a yawner of a political gathering. The 'Wives are all there, except Lynda, who again bowed out for what can best be described as moral reasons. By which I mean she doesn't like being around the Salahis.
Then: the episode's big surprise. Even Edwina bows out. By which I mean she was wheeled out on a stretcher, thanks to a head-spinning bout of vertigo. And where did this important political powwow-cum-medical drama go down? Why, the Madison, of course!
If this goes on, I'll have to be wheeled out on a stretcher.
-- Lavanya Ramanathan
| September 10, 2010; 3:30 AM ET
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