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Posted at 4:25 PM ET, 05/11/2010

Huguely's mom 'devastated and confused'

By Washington Post editors

George Huguely’s mother said in a written statement Tuesday that she was “devastated and confused” by the May 3 death of University of Virginia senior Yeardley Love and the subsequent murder charge against her son.

“It has been difficult to remain silent during this dark, tumultuous time,” said Huguely's mother, Marta Murphy of Chevy Chase.

Hers is the first public comment on the case from either the Huguely or Love family.

“As a mother, I never expected to be in a situation like this,” Murphy wrote. “Though my pain is great, it will never come close to the anguish felt by the Love family.”

Love, 22, was found dead in her bedroom near the Charlottesville campus. Police said she died in a violent argument with Huguely, who shook her, causing her head to repeatedly strike a wall.

Stay with The Post for more on this story.

-- Daniel de Vise

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By Washington Post editors  | May 11, 2010; 4:25 PM ET
Categories:  Crime and Public Safety, Virginia  | Tags:  Chevy Chase, Lacrosse, Love, Marta Murphy, Murder, University of Virginia  
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Ah, come on, Marta!! Lame note. Where were you in monitoring your son's character, habits, behavior, etc? Or, did you leave these responsibilities to nannies while you were jet-setting it??

Posted by: rpcv84 | May 11, 2010 4:44 PM | Report abuse

Dear rpcv84,

She may or may not be a responsible parent. Who are we to judge another when we are not familiar with her relationship with her son? At this time in her life whether she is good mother or not, she needs prayers as do the family of the poor girl's parents. We as a society are so quick to make a negative comment. It is when we do not judge that clarity comes.

Posted by: 1hyplady | May 11, 2010 5:36 PM | Report abuse

What if Huguely's mother herself were a victim of domestic aggression or violence? I'd be more inclined to look at the enabling male culture of "boys will be boys," even when that means a drink (or several) and some good ol' aggression. Young men emulate the older men in their lives. If male role models turn a blind eye toward drunken rages and abuse of women, so will the young men. We know that his beating of a sleeping male teammate met with no consequences, and his coach had to know. This is the context I would question.

Posted by: JenniferA11 | May 11, 2010 5:49 PM | Report abuse

I know Marta Murphy, and people have the wrong impression of her. She and her husband divorced more than 10 years ago, and she has not lived as a rich, spoiled woman. She was a working, divorced mother who raised her children with the help of her family and babysitters.

She had a difficult marriage to George's father. She only recently remarried to a very good man. She has been a good mother, and is a very kind and devout person. Her son did this horrible thing, not her.

This has been a tragedy for her and I know she is grieving for Yeardly Love, as well as for the loss they are experiencing in their own family. I believe her statement is absolutely heartfelt.

Posted by: owally | May 11, 2010 6:12 PM | Report abuse

I'm confused by the article. Is she devastated a) because of what her son did, b) by how she could have overlooked the telltale signs of his aggressive behavior, or c) by how this will impact her social calendar?

So tired of elitist a-holes getting away with bad behavior. Didn't we have anough of that through 8 years of the Bush administration? I wonder what % of lax players are Republicans. Back on point, I hope this guy gets convicted and spends at least 20 years in prison.

Posted by: johnnycomelately1 | May 11, 2010 6:17 PM | Report abuse

As a parent, I empathize with the unimaginable pain of BOTH families... The dreams and futures of two extraordinary young adults have been obliterated - so parents, siblings and all who loved them are left in the throes of grief and anguish. This heinous event sickens me. However, I am also appalled by those who so callously fault and condemn the family and friends of the alleged killer. None of us yet knows what combination of genetics, substance abuse, mental disorder or other factors came into play in this horrific and brutal incident. As a mother, I can barely fathom the suffering either Ms. Love or Ms. Murphy. Both have, in fact, lost a child, and their lives will forever more be impacted. Mothers love their children, unconditionally, no matter what. Ms. Huguely has expressed her devastation - not excused or condoned. As a teacher, I've had so many students through the years whose behaviors and characters did NOT reflect their parents influence, for better or for worse. Good parents sometimes have children who "go bad." Poor parenting occasional yields exceptional young people who manage to rise above the circumstances of their upbringing. Despise the act - but don't hate the family members who are only trying to understand and love their own.

Posted by: tbmcd | May 11, 2010 6:24 PM | Report abuse

And if Ms. Murphy were poor as over half of mothers of abusers are, where would these people find their snideness? Too uneducated to make a good living? Too impaired to monitor your son?
When was the last time you monitored an adult no longer living at home? He received substance abuse counseling as a consequence of his prior actions. Does his continued drinking cause us to blame the treatment facility?
GET REAL. A twenty two year old man is responsible for his own choices. He knew he had a drinking problem. He knew he had an anger problem. He chose to continue this behavior instead of asking for help. At some point, the primacy of a persons own will overcomes all else.

Posted by: eburgher | May 11, 2010 7:01 PM | Report abuse

I feel for Mrs. Murphy and understand her desire to help her son because she loves him, but is that help "a defense at any cost" or is it to tell the truth and help others who may be in the same situation, prevent more domestic abuse whether it was from her husband, her son, etc. So please Mrs. Murphy, if you feel for Yeardley and her mother as you say you do, don't participate in a defense that is full of lies as a way to "help" your son and shave a few years off his term. Saying Yeardley's accident was a mistake is a prime example of this. Your son did not call 911. All of us who are mothers know that parenting is difficult and blame is not the point, but the truth and maybe even pleading guilty is a way to help your son and the Yeardleys. Any thing else is just a continuation of what got your son to this point, there can be no denying that.

Posted by: whoistoknow | May 11, 2010 7:30 PM | Report abuse

I can sympathize with Martha Murphy. I got in a lot of trouble that my parents weren't aware of. No matter how well you think you know your kid, you don't completely know them. It was a shock to my parents when they learned of my behavior outside our family. This is a sad and tragic event for both familes.

Posted by: unseenmirage | May 11, 2010 9:40 PM | Report abuse

"So tired of elitist a-holes getting away with bad behavior. Didn't we have anough of that through 8 years of the Bush administration? I wonder what % of lax players are Republicans"
Well I do know one thing. If he drowned her, that would have made him a Democrat.

Posted by: GRILLADES | May 11, 2010 10:37 PM | Report abuse

What in the name of Heaven does Bush have to do with this?
Love Grillades comment!

Posted by: ihaveaponyandyoudont | May 12, 2010 12:16 AM | Report abuse

if he was black the comments would have been all over the place and str8 up racist but cause this white girl killed his girlfriend u people seem to think its okay, and if he had a troubled past like its been reported on the news in the DC area than Huguely's mom knew her boy had some issues

Posted by: JeroRobson1 | May 12, 2010 5:43 AM | Report abuse

Lacrosse is an exciting GAME, with origins in the tribes of North America (Canada and US) which has NO political agenda.

Democrats and Republicans have disagreed on the best way to govern our country for 200 years. More government, less government, that is the debate. It shouldn't be a series of personal attacks, it is an approach to political solutions. Politics are not aligned by money, class or race. And, there are mentally ill, substance abusing, and violent individuals on all ends of the political, social and economic spectrum.

If you think being a wealthy republican predisposes you to be a violent criminal, talk to the family of David who died of a drug overdose in a Palm Beach motel, Michael Skeckle who murdered Martha Moxley with a golf club on her estate, Ted who left Mary Jo Kepachne to drown in his car while he went home to sleep off his stupor, or Patrick Smith who raped a woman in Palm beach after tying one on with Uncle Teddie. Oh, in case you don't know, they are all Kennedy cousins.

George Bush has left Washington and gone back to Dallas over a year ago. We don't hear from him, why can't you move on? He didn't cause the flooding in Tennessee,the NYC Times Square bombing attempt, the oil spill in the gulf, or this heartbreaking crime where a young girl thought she could make it through 3 more weeks of an old boyfriend's harassment before she would graduate and be free of him. She was in her own apartment, with her door locked, when he kicked down the door and beat her, leaving her to die alone. It is a horrific crime and there is no way to make any sense of it.

If you can't think of the tragic loss and grief of both families at this very sad time, keep your vitrol to yourself. Both families deserve our prayers for this

Posted by: MarthaTheBeagle | May 17, 2010 11:47 AM | Report abuse

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