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Shawn Hill's life story (and others) in six words

My good buddy Adam Kilgore, a Post staff writer equally capable of winning hot dog-eating contests and Pulitzers, bought me a book recently, "Not Quite What I Was Planning: A Compilation of Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous & Obscure."

I guess Kilgore reads the blog.

Some of my early favorites.

David Eggers: "Fifteen years since last professional haircut."

Dominic Arizona Bonuccelli: "Xenophile escapist tumbleweed globetrots, finds self."

Scott O'Neil: "Changing mind postponed demise by decades."

Shwan Taha: "Born in Baghdad, I said enough."

A.J. Jacobs: "Born bald. Grew hair. Bald again."

Oh, and here's the one I concocted for Shawn Hill: "Pitch, ache four days, pitch again."

By Chico Harlan  |  May 23, 2008; 11:30 AM ET
 
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Next: The Nats: 88 percent of the same team that played Wednesday

Comments

Chico,

Dump the "six word" gimmick, please.

Cordially,
N.J. Readers

Posted by: Where have you gone, Barry Svrluga? | May 23, 2008 11:41 AM | Report abuse

Let's try these SEVEN words:

Chico needs to give up six words.
Zimmerman is now finally hitting the ball.
Wily Mo Pena can't hit no change-up.
Beer tastes good especially after a bratwurst.

Posted by: Annoyed Reader | May 23, 2008 11:42 AM | Report abuse

No worries Chico, I enjoyed it. And judging from most people's responses, the first person is not representative of the blog.

Everyone gets a bit testy when we lose.

Posted by: NattyDelite! | May 23, 2008 11:44 AM | Report abuse

Chick,

Enjoy your gamers. Very vivid account of the happenings at the ballpark. Keep up the good work mate! Good on you.

Six words: Give it a rest, will ya?

Regards,

Posted by: Happy Reader | May 23, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

Nationals Journal commenters need an enema

Posted by: Lighten up | May 23, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Sadly, I fear Shawn Hill's six words will go more like this:

Call John Patterson for doctor referral.

And as for Pena: Wily Mo is really Wily Less.

Posted by: An Briosca Mor | May 23, 2008 11:50 AM | Report abuse

knock it off you losers. Chico is my friend. and we go way back. If you want to bash him, fine, do so. But just keep in mind that he truly loves all of you, and wishes only the best for you, your family and this terrific baseball team.

Posted by: knock it off | May 23, 2008 11:51 AM | Report abuse

Chico obsessed with six words slogans...

Posted by: Keep it up | May 23, 2008 11:52 AM | Report abuse

I have no problem with that...

Sometimes people are mean on this...

I have a problem with that...

Posted by: Keep it up | May 23, 2008 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Instead of, or in addition to, the six word thing maybe there could be some roster info. As in Langerhans, Sanches, and Manning up and Chico and Schroeder down, which I read in the Nationals Farm Authority:
http://farmauthority.dcsportsnet.com/2008/05/23/lots-of-moves/

Posted by: CapHill | May 23, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse

Biggest disappointment?

Wily No, Dukies, Kearns, Lo Juicer?

Biggest surprise?

Redding, A. Boone, Flores?

Posted by: biggest disappointment? | May 23, 2008 11:59 AM | Report abuse

Some evidence it's Maxwell?

http://fredericksburg.com/blogs/view?blogger_id=34

Posted by: Slumpsville | May 23, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Hey, good work getting scooped by a blog.

************************************

Instead of, or in addition to, the six word thing maybe there could be some roster info. As in Langerhans, Sanches, and Manning up and Chico and Schroeder down, which I read in the Nationals Farm Authority:
http://farmauthority.dcsportsnet.com/2008/05/23/lots-of-moves/

Posted by: CapHill | May 23, 2008 11:57 AM

Posted by: Matt | May 23, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

No ill will to Chico intended. He's a really young guy that has been thrown into the deep end of the pool.

However, big-league beat reporters shouldn't have college newspaper gimmicks.

Posted by: WHYG, BS? | May 23, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

Maxwell missed those games because he had a sore right wrist from diving for a ball on Monday evening.

Posted by: Brian | May 23, 2008 12:06 PM | Report abuse

College newspaper gimmicks? You mean like the New Yorker, that hack publication?

Posted by: John in Mpls | May 23, 2008 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Chico: In your weekly discussion the other day, you said you thought Hill could be a 13-15 game winner. I think you meant in a season. I think that is optimistic for his career! He'd have to more than double his career wins to reach that level. Unfortunately, Hill is another victim of unsuccessful ulnar collateral ligament replacement surgery. Those guys rarely win 20 games in a career. Ask John Patterson! Almost time to start wondering who will replace Hill in the rotation. I'd say Clippard at this point. More ball to be played, though.

Posted by: Dick | May 23, 2008 12:08 PM | Report abuse

This song's just six words long

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sppRrbtxVD0

Posted by: Weird Al | May 23, 2008 12:09 PM | Report abuse

I cannot take any credit for a scoop. The Columbus Clippers media site had the information. I just found it.

Posted by: Brian | May 23, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

By "found it" you mean... like... looking for news on the Nationals? As opposed to, say, reading books about 6 word sentences and appearing on TV? Oh, ok, gotcha. Wierd.

******************************

I cannot take any credit for a scoop. The Columbus Clippers media site had the information. I just found it.

Posted by: Brian

Posted by: Matt | May 23, 2008 12:14 PM | Report abuse

The New Yorker isn't one of the premier sports pages in the country. "Six words" is silly and clever and adds absolutely nothing to the discussion of the club.

Do you think Peter Gammons, Buster Olney, Tim Kurkjian, Tom Verducci, and Jayson Stark sit around thinking of cute little phrases?

Again, no ill will to Chico. Believe me when I say this. It just bothers me that the Post thinks so little of the Nats beat to assign it to someone who at this point looks a little out of his depth.

Posted by: WHYG, BS? | May 23, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Any Dave Eggers reference is sure to endear me to you, Mr. Harlan. And you're obviously making a quick impression on the Post staff if they're already purchasing books for you.

Ironically, though, I'm giving early consideration for Post of the Day to Weird Al, mainly for nostalgic reasons, but also because I find it hard to believe that it's taken someone so long to drudge up that reference.

Posted by: John in Mpls | May 23, 2008 12:17 PM | Report abuse

self-important dc'ers take themselves too seriously

It's a blog, for godssakes. Most of what is on this is drivel.

Posted by: nat hole | May 23, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

I am enjoying the six-word game. Keep up the good work, Chico.

Posted by: having fun | May 23, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Look, I like the 6 word game as much as the next guy... as long it comes with, you know, NEWS.

Posted by: Matt | May 23, 2008 12:22 PM | Report abuse

Relax guys, Chico Harlan fits right in with The Plan.

Posted by: GoNats | May 23, 2008 12:23 PM | Report abuse

No, I think they sit around writing for publications and websites where you can direct your attention if you find this blog insufficient.

-----

Do you think Peter Gammons, Buster Olney, Tim Kurkjian, Tom Verducci, and Jayson Stark sit around thinking of cute little phrases?

Posted by: John in Mpls | May 23, 2008 12:23 PM | Report abuse

Not if you want to ever read about the Nationals... which is why people come here. Shocker, I know.

****************************
No, I think they sit around writing for publications and websites where you can direct your attention if you find this blog insufficient.

Posted by: John in Mpls

Posted by: Matt | May 23, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

"Relax guys, Chico Harlan fits right in with The Plan."

Does that mean that we can sign the Yankee beat reporter for the NY Times as a free agent when the team starts to win?

Posted by: Anonymous | May 23, 2008 12:29 PM | Report abuse

Would like a little more hard news. The 6-word thing was funny the first time. Now, it's just tiring.

How about some hard-nosed topics, like whether Matt Chico will grace the Nats' ML ever again, or how on earth Lenny Harris continues to collect a paycheck? Can we send him down to Columbus to 'get his stuff back?'

Posted by: Section 408 | May 23, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

http://www.farmauthority.dcsportsnet.com/

Top story for the big move they made today. Overdue demotion for Chico, probably the last time we see Schroeder too.

Langerhans earns a callup; i'm sure Bowden would rather have Langerhans get 3 at-bats per week instead of taking Maxwell and/or Bernadina out of their routines. But, if our outfielders continue to disappoint, maybe a radical change will be in order closer to the trading deadline.

I'm surprised though we didn't get middle infield cover. With Belliard out, our only guy who can spell Lopez/guzman is Harris, and he hadn't played infield in several years prior to our acquisition.

Posted by: Sec131 | May 23, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

OK guys, message received. The gimmick is gone.

Posted by: Chico Harlan | May 23, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

Must mention the O's.

Posted by: Post of the day | May 23, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

?

Posted by: That's eight words | May 23, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Keep six words. Dump whiny posters.

Posted by: Ryan | May 23, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

Will someone PLEEZ rationalize to me why Ryan Langerhans is a better call-up than Alex Escobar?

Posted by: Section 408 | May 23, 2008 1:00 PM | Report abuse

Will someone PLEEZ rationalize to me why Ryan Langerhans is a better call-up than Alex Escobar?

Posted by: Section 408 | May 23, 2008 1:00 PM

LH hitter and better fielder.

Next question.

Posted by: WebberDC | May 23, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

I like the six words gimmick. It means you've really gotta think. It makes you work very concisely. A lot like John Lannan does.

Yes, it's a blog and so we expect information in a raw, immediate cut-and-paste-the-press-release kind of way .. . but I don't mind if it takes a few hours to get a more thorough synopsis of what we can expect from the call-ups.

And there's no insult from getting scooped on a press release made by a minor league club by a blog whose main reason for existing is to watch the minor league clubs when you're the one guy watching the major league club who has not yet made a public announcement about these moves. If you were a team of three (aHEM), or if you were an octopus the standard would be a little higher. Of course, if you were an octopus you'd be an invertebrate and you'd have to live underwater, so that change things dramatically.

Anyway, I don't know why you'd get blasted for this and not for talking about food. I guess everybody needs food, but not everybody needs six word stories.

Posted by: i hate walks | May 23, 2008 1:11 PM | Report abuse

Probably not often, but "Peter Gammons, Buster Olney, Tim Kurkjian, Tom Verducci, and Jayson Stark walk into a bar ..." could be the first line of a good story.

*********
Do you think Peter Gammons, Buster Olney, Tim Kurkjian, Tom Verducci, and Jayson Stark sit around thinking of cute little phrases?
Posted by: John in Mpls | May 23, 2008 12:23 PM

Posted by: Section 3, my couch | May 23, 2008 1:12 PM | Report abuse

Oh God, Chico, now you've validated the haters. Prepare for endless "suggestions" on your writing and topics.

As an observation, why did we need Chico to post something we already know (the call-ups/options)? Unless he has something to add, we already had that news thanks to this community's good work. That's great that users add value. Make sure the reporter does too, don't just insist that he or she validate others.

Six words is not that bad.

Really.

Posted by: Section 506 (Before moving) | May 23, 2008 1:13 PM | Report abuse

Escobar and Langerhans are not upgrades.

Keep the six! I like 'em!

Posted by: SF Fan | May 23, 2008 1:14 PM | Report abuse

"Probably not often, but "Peter Gammons, Buster Olney, Tim Kurkjian, Tom Verducci, and Jayson Stark walk into a bar ..." could be the first line of a good story."

-----

Bonfire of the Manatees?

Okay, so it doesn't really work that well, but it just occurred to me that it would be a great title.

Posted by: Section 506 (Before moving) | May 23, 2008 1:17 PM | Report abuse

Keep six words. Dump whiny posters.

Posted by: This is the post of day. | May 23, 2008 1:18 PM | Report abuse

Laughing here. 506, I think we're even.

***********
Bonfire of the Manatees?
Posted by: Section 506 (Before moving) | May 23, 2008 1:17 PM

Posted by: Section 3 of my couch | May 23, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

"So, a more telling histograph here might be like a stock chart, with HIGH, LOW, and CLOSING for a given period, say a week, or a series, or home/road stand.
The range between the numbers over short time might tell you more about what to expect from a hitter than just the average at the end of a game."

-----

You know somethings wrong with you when you think "I'd really like to see that!"

Posted by: Section 506 (Before moving) | May 23, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

I don't have a problem with the six words gimmick. Also, I'm with IHW on being willing to wait for a meatier post with perspective on what the moves mean.

Posted by: natsfan1a | May 23, 2008 1:26 PM | Report abuse

In gimmicks, or baseball, sucking's easy.

Posted by: Section 3 of my couch, w/Toonces | May 23, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Man, I may have to abandon this discussion to avoid getting burned by the acid. The 6-word stuff was fun, but like it or not, the discussion is getting rougher than when we were simply talking about the level of coverage.

Chico, good luck, friend. I've enjoyed your writing so far. I may just read your blog entries and skip the responses until the team starts playing better.

Posted by: Positively Half St. | May 23, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

I drive the team bus now?

Posted by: Toonces | May 23, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Seems like a fair number of us are slipping away from all this toxicity.

I beg of you: can we please just discuss and respect? It's just so much more fun that way.

Posted by: The Nice Commenters | May 23, 2008 1:51 PM | Report abuse

Skip the games, read the blog.

**************
I may just read your blog entries and skip the responses until the team starts playing better.
Posted by: Positively Half St. | May 23, 2008 1:41 PM

Posted by: Section 3 of my couch | May 23, 2008 2:02 PM | Report abuse

I like the six-word creations.

Can someone spell out what a LOOGY is, esp since it seems like we'll be getting one in the bullpen very soon.

Posted by: samantha7 | May 23, 2008 2:04 PM | Report abuse

Seriously, one advantage of the six-word thing is the much shorter posts, so I can see all of it on the screen. Much easier to scroll past stuff when the glass is only half-full.

And anyway, half of any conversation is just social glue, anyway; doesn't have to be substantive all the time, does it? This is a public space, of sorts, and certain social niceties are worth retaining, IMPO.

Posted by: Section 3, my couch | May 23, 2008 2:07 PM | Report abuse

Left-handed
One
Out
Gu-
Y

FIRST!

Posted by: Section 506 (Before moving) | May 23, 2008 2:07 PM | Report abuse

LOOGY is what you google first.

Posted by: just kidding | May 23, 2008 2:08 PM | Report abuse

Chico - keep up the 6-word thing, if only to upset those NJ readers who are apparently lacking in anything better to do and quite obviously anal retentive.

Posted by: AJ | May 23, 2008 2:13 PM | Report abuse

Chico,

I agree with 506, do what you do, don't be so quick to satisfy the knuckleheads. Make this job yours and don't worry about the minority of people on this blog who do nothing but, piss and moan.

Or in six word style:

Do what you do, ignore whiner's.

Posted by: Section 505/203 | May 23, 2008 2:14 PM | Report abuse

Thank you!

Posted by: samantha7 | May 23, 2008 2:14 PM | Report abuse

I've never understood the hostility to Langerhans and even more so now given the dismal outfield offense. Given current performances, Langerhans is an upgrade over WMP and Dukes and even Milledge on fiedling. Langerhans can play center well. In a close game late in the innings - an outfield of Harris, Langerhans & Kearns/Dukes will be pretty solid defensively. Given Escobar's injury history, I am very suspect of him. Too snakebit.

Posted by: DKNatsFan | May 23, 2008 2:17 PM | Report abuse

Did the Nats make some moves today?

Posted by: Anon | May 23, 2008 2:20 PM | Report abuse

Huge error ended Langerhans' Oakland tenure.

Windbag posters ruin young Chico's day.

Posted by: fleshbot | May 23, 2008 2:22 PM | Report abuse

Chico and Schroder sent down, 2 relievers (1 lefty, 1 righty) coming up, Langerhans contract purchased.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 23, 2008 2:22 PM | Report abuse

"Do what you do, ignore whiner's."

Don't make plurals with an apostrophe!

Posted by: No I'm not The Grammar Lady | May 23, 2008 2:23 PM | Report abuse

Grammar lady uses more words (regrettably).

Posted by: Section 506 (Before moving) | May 23, 2008 2:29 PM | Report abuse

Sadly Some Say Stop Sending Sixers.

Other Opinions Oppose Offering Oppponent Options.

Me Think Sixers Stay, Just Sayin'!

Posted by: N@sfan | May 23, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Tip of the hat to N@sfan's entry.

Posted by: samantha7 | May 23, 2008 2:35 PM | Report abuse

Seriously how is the Post so behind in these Roster moves? Even the Times has posted on it.

Posted by: GoNats | May 23, 2008 2:40 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, alliteration makes it even better

Posted by: Section 506 (Before moving) | May 23, 2008 2:41 PM | Report abuse

6 words to define Ryan Langerhans:

One, two, three strikes your out!

Posted by: e | May 23, 2008 2:42 PM | Report abuse

and that should be "you're" or "yer"

Posted by: e | May 23, 2008 2:42 PM | Report abuse

"Do you think Peter Gammons, Buster Olney, Tim Kurkjian, Tom Verducci, and Jayson Stark sit around thinking of cute little phrases?"

* Gammo: Lame music references.

* Olney: Stupid made-up Productive Outs stat.

* Kurkjian: "Is this a great game or what?"

* Stark: Bizarro stats, rumblings and grumblings.

They all have their favorite tropes. Except for Verducci perhaps. Maybe he's the pure one out there.

Posted by: Even the National Guys Suck Too | May 23, 2008 2:47 PM | Report abuse

Yes, the Post is definitely behind on these roster moves. Coverage is Lacking would have a field day, and rightfully so.

Posted by: samantha7 | May 23, 2008 2:47 PM | Report abuse

alliteration keeps the number of posts down too since I'm too busy being *creative*. Nats web site hasn't released the news yet either - not that they're pressing the edge of the envelope or anything...

Posted by: N@sfan | May 23, 2008 2:47 PM | Report abuse

Tired of this six word thing.

Want baseball, not self-centered blogging.

Posted by: OutsideTheLaw | May 23, 2008 2:55 PM | Report abuse

Wish Schroeder's frequent-flier miles were mine!

Posted by: lowcountry | May 23, 2008 2:55 PM | Report abuse

The Clippers' website 'broke' this ever-pressing story hours ago, yet the Nationals themselves have not seen fit to issue a press release on it yet. Is this significant? Maybe, maybe not.
But do we know for sure that the report was correct? At this point, maybe not.

Posted by: 6 words: Really Tedious Wankers Read Nationals Journal | May 23, 2008 2:55 PM | Report abuse

"Want baseball, not self-centered blogging."

Is there any other sort of blogging?

What do you think of my hitter typologies? Is Dukes the Climber? He's certainly been sneaking a hit in every so often and is average is slooooowly rising.

Posted by: Section 506 (Before moving) | May 23, 2008 3:03 PM | Report abuse

I can't pitch. My arm hurts.

Posted by: 6th and D | May 23, 2008 3:04 PM | Report abuse

Maybe the rest of us like these six word deals. Very clever and entertaining.

========================
Chico,

Dump the "six word" gimmick, please.

Cordially,
N.J. Readers

Posted by: Where have you gone, Barry Svrluga? | May 23, 2008 11:41 AM

Let's try these SEVEN words:

Chico needs to give up six words.
Zimmerman is now finally hitting the ball.
Wily Mo Pena can't hit no change-up.
Beer tastes good especially after a bratwurst.

Posted by: Annoyed Reader | May 23, 2008 11:42 AM

Posted by: 6th and D | May 23, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

svurluga gets haiku
chico gets 6 words

Posted by: 231 | May 23, 2008 3:14 PM | Report abuse

SIX WORDS JUST PLAIN SUCK

Posted by: FIVE WORDS | May 23, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

Ryan Langerhans is my friend on facebook. And though he shows a deplorable amount of loyalty to a team that SHOULD be considered a rival, you know, one is willing to let these things slide. but only because he accepted my friend request!

Posted by: Anonymous | May 23, 2008 3:20 PM | Report abuse

506, I'd say Zimmerman, Millz and maybe Kearns are the climbers. Dukes and Wily Mo could be the seismograph guys, we have yet to see the spike though. Lopez could also be in that category. I think Flores and Guzman are the coasters and Nick is the steady one.

This is a lot better than talking about why Bowden sucks, for the record.

Posted by: NoVA Nat | May 23, 2008 3:26 PM | Report abuse

Ugh. No reason to be so condescending in connection with discussing restaurant suggestions on a Nats blog, dude. In your desire to show off all the cool restaurants you like, most of your recs are outside Chico's proffered price range, which is kind of disrespectful. If Chico asked people for a list of their *favorite* restaurants or places to take a date or something like that, I'm sure he would have gotten some different recs.
* * * * *
Ugh. What boring suggestions. Old Ebbitt? Lauriol Plaza? Do you guys run a tour bus company or something?

I would definitely recommend going either U Street (Marvin, Creme, Simply Home, Crostino, etc.) or Penn Quarter (Proof, Zaytinya, Rosa, Oyamel, PS7s, Corduroy, etc.) for good food in the price range mentioned. If you're on the Hill, go to Sonoma as others mentioned.

If you want to walk to see the WH at night, fine, but don't go to Old Ebbitt. Go to Central or Cafe Du Parc. Best fries ever.

Posted by: Scott in Shaw | May 23, 2008 1:15 PM

Posted by: Coverage is lacking | May 23, 2008 3:33 PM | Report abuse

CIL, now why you gotta attack him like that? It doesn't encourage discussion or debate. It didn't argue his choices, it just attacks the person.

This is exactly why this blog is becoming so awful. Why pick fights with *people* instead of engaging *topics*? We're ALL just saying stuff.

There were lots of suggestions, good and bad. Scott didn't attack anyone, just said *the suggestions* were boring.

Either argue that his "boring" choices aren't boring or give your own favorites. Attacking the person doesn't do anything for this blog.

Posted by: NatsNut | May 23, 2008 3:46 PM | Report abuse

New post.

Posted by: natsfan1a | May 23, 2008 3:54 PM | Report abuse

Well, NN, I disagree with your characterization of my comment. The initial post didn't encourage comment or debate and was in fact a personal attack itself (to the extent one can characterize any of these comments as *attacks* which I think is debatable to begin with). Scott's post disparaged others' recs as "boring" without any explanation as to why he thought they were boring--which does nothing to add to debate and just disrespects the comments of others who have taken the time to post.

And how do you characterize this comment that Scott made: "Do you guys run a tour bus company or something?" Not terribly productive or arguing choices, huh?

I agree we shouldn't pick fights with people on this blog. That is what Scott chose to do by disparaging others without explanation, and I commented that I thought his post was disrespectful.

Posted by: Coverage is lacking | May 23, 2008 3:56 PM | Report abuse

NatsNut is a puss-puss.

Posted by: RyanDylan | May 23, 2008 4:36 PM | Report abuse

fair enough, CIL. Scott in Shaw, consider yourself scolded too.

you too, RyanDylan.

play nice.

Posted by: NatsNut | May 23, 2008 4:39 PM | Report abuse

I certainly didn't intend to disrespect anyone, unless you feel disrespected by someone accusing your restaurant choices of being boring, which is exactly what I intended. But, as NatsNut astutely observed, that's an attack on the restaurants, not a personal affront. The "tour bus" comment is the explanation for why the choices were "boring." I expected most people to get my meaning.

Anyway, comments like yours are making coming here less fun. Perhaps I should start hanging out in the super-secret chat rooms or something.

Happy Memorial Day!

Posted by: Scott in Shaw | May 23, 2008 4:57 PM | Report abuse

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