What's Your Bumper Sticker?

Oh, the joys of Friday. No serious teeth-gnashing topics today. Let's talk about...bumper stickers and balance.

Driving my kids around D.C., to and from doctors' appointments, school and play dates, I've been reading the bumper stickers on cars, imagining the drivers inside.

"Soccer mom," one sticker said in deadpan black and white type.

"Soccer dad -- and proud of it!" a truck cheerfully declared in fire engine red.

My favorite, sure to slow my blood pressure: a cool blue and white Co-Exist, with each letter depicting a different religious symbol.

My car doesn't say anything. The closest I've gotten to a bumper sticker were two McDonald's Happy Meal Brats with pink and orange hair that I superglued onto my old Ford Expedition in the spot where luxury cars show off their elegant metal symbols. The Brats made a lot of bystanders laugh before they fell off in a snowstorm last winter. I like to think they declared: "Motherhood is a comedy, and the mom inside this car is laughing at small things to stave off insanity."

So today's topic: If you could create a bumper sticker that captured your approach to balancing work, family and life, what would yours be?

By Leslie Morgan Steiner |  May 2, 2008; 7:00 AM ET  | Category:  Free-for-All
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First!

Posted by: Songster | May 2, 2008 7:07 AM

Dedicated to Moxiemom

To the tune of SpongeBob SquarePants


Man of the House: Are you ready wife?

Wife: Aye, Aye, Hubby!

Hubby: I can't hear you.

Wife: Aye, Aye, Hubby

Hubby: OHHHHHHH

Whose house is so clean all come to see?

Wife: SpongeMom, BonBons!

Hubby: Cleanest on the block and all envy?

Wife: SpongeBon MomMom!

Hubby: With heels and pearls, you dust cheerfully!

Wife: SpongeMom, BonBons!

Hubby: Doilies and Dresses you iron so handily!

Wife: SpongeBon MomMom!

Hubby: Heloise and Martha have nothing on thee!

Wife: SpongeMom, BonBons!

Wife: Dysons and Swiffers were invented for me!

Hubby: SpongeBon, MomMom!

Hubby: If brownies and cakes be something you wish!

Wife: SpongeMon, BonBons!

Hubby: Then me mate will make 'em; she's quite a dish!

Wife: SpongeBon, MomMom!

Hubby: Ready?

Hubby and Wife: SpongeMom BonBons, SpongeBon MomMom,
SpongeMom BonBons!

Hubby: SpongeMom BonMooooooooom!!!

Hubby: HA HA HA HA !!!!

Posted by: Songster | May 2, 2008 7:10 AM

Perfect way to kick off a Friday!

Posted by: Leslie | May 2, 2008 7:27 AM

Embrace the ambiguity

Posted by: WorkingMomX | May 2, 2008 7:44 AM

The only bumper sticker I think people across the political spectrum can laugh at:

Elect Monica's ex-boyfriends wife for President

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 7:50 AM

Songster - thanks so much. I love it and I love YOU! Can't wait to show Moxiedad, who, by the way has never written a song for me! hee hee He tells me if I wanted that, I should have married the guy from Coldplay.

On topic - dunno about my ideal sticker - I have a "Choosy Moms vote Stewart/Colbert '08" which I actually taped in my back window instead of on my bumper.

Thanks again songster - LMAO all day!

Posted by: moxiemom | May 2, 2008 7:55 AM

I know I'm old when I don't know the spongebob squarepants song. My kids were/are too old to ever watch it.

bumperstickers of choice:

"shut up and drive"

"stifle yourself"

"God is a TarHeel Fan"

"No, I don't know where I'm going. But I know where I've been"

Posted by: dotted | May 2, 2008 8:05 AM

Lesbians for Hillary

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 8:15 AM

Given the chaos of my life...

I've fallen and I can't get up.

I might think of more later in the day after my brain is fully engaged.

Posted by: Billie_R | May 2, 2008 8:17 AM

Ask and you will receive!


http://www.livevideo.com/video/A577DEE60C3F4ED0A8AFCE29F264E79D/spongebob-squarepants-theme-song.aspx

Posted by: Songster | May 2, 2008 8:21 AM

Honk if you're stupid!

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 8:23 AM

Billie, if you think that's your life it will stay your life.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 8:27 AM

"My work/life balance is great -- my scale is broken."

Slightly off-topic but related: About 5-7 years ago there was a boom of "My son/daughter is an honor-roll student at Name Your Elementary School" bumper stickers, which I found really annoying. I'm sure parents felt obliged to use them if their kids brought them home, but I always wondered what it meant to be an honor-roll student in first grade. So in that era, my favorite bumper sticker was one that said "My kid beat up your elementary school honor-roll student." I laughed so hard I think I almost rear-ended the car with that bumper sticker!

Posted by: Jen | May 2, 2008 8:32 AM

Instead of "I Brake for (fill in the blank animal)" how about "I Brake for No Apparent Reason"

Posted by: KLB SS MD | May 2, 2008 8:45 AM

When a police officer stops you, you don't want to worry how you bumper sticker meshes with her political views or sexual orientation. Mine says "Virginia sheriff Institute". Yours might be "police protective fund" or anything in that spirit. Best $40 you'll ever donate to charity.

Posted by: Nine | May 2, 2008 8:50 AM

To anon at 8:27am

I would like to say the bumper sticker that is most like my life is:

"There is light at the end of the tunnel" but its a little early to declare that the current situation will be over soon. Maybe I see a night light at the end of the tunnel as we have taken some baby steps towards changing the situation.

Posted by: Billie_R | May 2, 2008 8:53 AM

Actually, God is a Penn State fan. But I see how you could make the mistake.

Posted by: DCD | May 2, 2008 8:54 AM

The one on our car is:
"My bloodhound is smarter than your honor student." It gets laughs.

Posted by: Silver Spring | May 2, 2008 8:58 AM

Of course there is:

New Orleans, Proud to Swim Home

(For Flordia Chick)

Rebuild Iraq hell, Rebuild the Flora-Bama Lounge!

(It did get knocked down by Ivan but it has been rebuilt. Frieda and I have spent a few nights there!)

But my favorite:

If I had known grandchildren were this fun, I would have had them first!

(not that we have any, yet)

Posted by: Fred | May 2, 2008 9:00 AM

My husband bought me this one - which definitely captures my approach to balancing work, family, and life.

"I don't want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon."

Posted by: Lurker | May 2, 2008 9:05 AM

To Silver Spring -- I love it!!!

Posted by: Jen | May 2, 2008 9:06 AM

I've driven down the highway and seen a "Caution: Baby on Board" sign stuck on the back window of a hatchback as the baby was crawling around the back seat. No car seat. No seat belt. Go figure!

Posted by: DandyLion | May 2, 2008 9:15 AM

Haha Fred, love it! I used to have three stickers on my first car. One was a picture of a big fish chasing a bunch of little fish. Then you see the little fish band together to make a bigger fish and chase the big fish. It said organize. Another said God please save me from your followers. Someone actually ripped it off my car in front of my apartment! The last was I'm prochoice and I vote. I interned for my conservative congressman last summer and he showed me the "Fredneck Riveria" to get Fred Thompson into the Republican primary. No stickers today but I would use the organize one again because I love it's message!

Posted by: FloridaChick | May 2, 2008 9:17 AM

"When a police officer stops you, you don't want to worry how you bumper sticker meshes with her political views or sexual orientation. Mine says "Virginia sheriff Institute". Yours might be "police protective fund" or anything in that spirit. Best $40 you'll ever donate to charity.

Posted by: Nine | May 2, 2008 8:50 AM"

I beg to differ, I know plenty of Police Officers and not one takes these stickers into consideration when issuing a ticket (or political bumper stickers for that matter), particularly the State Troopers. Most State Troopers will give you a ticket even if you are a cop.

When you get a "teddy bears for kids, support your local agency", dig around for information. Normally they are not affilliated with a specific deptartment and the % of money that actually goes to the "teddy bear" fund is around 15-20%, it is a total scam.

If you don't want to get a ticket, don't speed.


Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 9:17 AM

My all time favorite bumper sticker (a special one for geeks)

Heisenberg may have slept here

Posted by: anne | May 2, 2008 9:18 AM

FlordiaChick

What town are you from?

Posted by: Fred | May 2, 2008 9:18 AM

Best bumper sticker:

"I love animals, they are delicious"

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 9:19 AM

As for a bumper sticker that would reflect my attitude to work-life balance, I'm still searching for one that reads:

This too shall pass

Posted by: anne | May 2, 2008 9:22 AM

My bumper sticker pet peeve usually applies to political candidate bumper stickers. Why do so many people delicately scotch-tape their Candidate's Bumper Sticker on the inside of the back window? It seems very non-committal to me. I have more respect for the folks still driving around with "W2004" or "Al Gore Won!"

Posted by: Arlington Dad | May 2, 2008 9:22 AM

I saw a nice Cadillac, driven by a man, whose license plate read "Too busy".

I thought, "Only in America would you see something like this!"

Posted by: RK | May 2, 2008 9:22 AM

People Eating Tasty Animals

Posted by: PETA | May 2, 2008 9:23 AM

LUV2BM3

Posted by: License Plate | May 2, 2008 9:25 AM

Actually, God is a Penn State fan. But I see how you could make the mistake.

Posted by: DCD | May 2, 2008 8:54 AM

So true! Go Nittany Lions!

Posted by: atlmom | May 2, 2008 9:30 AM

My sister gave me "I embarrass my children"

Then there's "Caution--Driver Singing"

If there was one that said "Meanest Mom," my children would buy it for me.

Posted by: Burke mom | May 2, 2008 9:30 AM

And Leslie is now officially out of topics. What do bumper stickers have to do with balance? Nothing. This blog is done.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 9:32 AM

"Honk if you're ADHD. Again. Again. Again. Again."

Posted by: JS | May 2, 2008 9:33 AM

Fred, I am from Pensacola but am a DC transplant now. I also lived in Virginia and Jacksonville as a military child. Can you tell which branch? (I know, it's too obvious!)

Posted by: FloridaChick | May 2, 2008 9:36 AM

Well, I've been in a meal-planning rut, so:

"Piping plover--tastes like chicken."

(I'm actually on the side of the plovers and think vehicles do NOT belong on the beach, but I still thought it was funny--though not Balance-related.)
________________

OT to Fred, I've been curbing my On Balance habit, so I only saw Frieda's post a couple of days ago. Thanks to you and Frieda for sharing. It was a privilege for us to read her thoughts. All my best to both of you.

Posted by: Marian | May 2, 2008 9:37 AM

Hey Marian, long time, no see!

FlaChick,

Uh, that would be the Merchant Marines! (ha!ha!)

Posted by: Fred | May 2, 2008 9:40 AM

Not mine, but a good one I've come across:

"If you are not behind our Troops, then feel free to stand in front of them."

And the obvious, "Run, Hillary, Run" -- front bumper for R's, back bumper for D's.


Posted by: WDC | May 2, 2008 9:41 AM

Seen on the beltway:

"6 billion miracles is enough"

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 9:43 AM

i know this is sappy but in my darkest hour of post partum depression when I felt totally useless and empty, the thought came to me that God loves me and that is enough. It really pulled me out of my slump. So I'm thinking "Love is enough."

Posted by: gov mom | May 2, 2008 9:45 AM

"And Leslie is now officially out of topics. What do bumper stickers have to do with balance? Nothing. This blog is done.


Posted by: | May 2, 2008 9:32 AM"

Leslie: I am going to stick up for you here! Once in a while, espcially on a Friday, a free for all, slightly silly topic is in order. It's all about balance, right? Consider this balance for Monday morning.

Posted by: Get Real | May 2, 2008 9:49 AM

My personal favorite, spotted multiple times in small-town Arizona:

"What would Jesus bomb?"

Posted by: BxNY | May 2, 2008 9:49 AM

to anon who doesn't believe in efficiency of police-supporting stickers: I have good statistics.

Of course, if you run over a little old lady, then back up and run over again -- it won't help you. But in case of minor speeding I had once been stopped and let go w/o even being talked to. The officer waved me off and immediately flagged down another car. The funny part was that the other car has already stopped since I was blocking the lane.

And good point about checking out the charities. I don't support those who outsource the calls and let the calling agencies keep up to 90% of the money.

Posted by: Nine | May 2, 2008 9:54 AM

on a license plate at a classic car show: IV SELL

I think he must have been trying to sell that Torino for a LONG TIME! He wasn't from VA but I was always entertained by all the personalized VA plates, are there still a lot of them? in NY there seem to be less.

Posted by: tsp 2007 | May 2, 2008 9:54 AM

I have a Tool sticker on the minivan. That pretty much says it all.

Fred- I love that someone mentioned the Flora-Bama on this blog. Good times. (I just got back from New Orleans. I did not see the booby mobile, but I projected good vibes to your wife while I was there.)

Posted by: atb | May 2, 2008 9:54 AM

my favorites
nuke gay whales for jesus
and
republicans for voldemort.

the first one i like because it can offend many in one bumper sticker. the other i like because i'm a harry potter fan.

Posted by: quark | May 2, 2008 10:00 AM

My bumper stickers say:

"Manejar borracho? No seas tonto, muchacho!"
(Drive drunk? Don't be dumb, boy!)

"Celebre la Diversidad / Celebrate Diversity"

Personally, I love this topic!!

Posted by: JEGS | May 2, 2008 10:00 AM

My neighbor has the following bumper sticker,

Frodo Failed, Bush has the Ring

Posted by: Get Real | May 2, 2008 10:02 AM

I have a Darwin Awards sticker on my car.

BUT...bumperstickers that I should have would include:

Help! There's too much blood in my caffeine system!

Get the whips out of the show ring and back into the bedroom where they belong

(Those of you who have endured certain classes in horse breed shows KNOW what I mean!)

Cello Chick

Save petroleum, ride a (Crabbet-bred) Arabian

Posted by: maryland_mother | May 2, 2008 10:03 AM

Niner, I wouldn't necessarily call your statistics "good," sounds like you could have been waived off for a number of reasons. And how many times did this happen? Once. I think this should be called a single experience, not a statistic. Next time you meet a cop in a social situation, ask them about the stickers, most are too busy to care about "Hug a cop" bumber stickers.

If you want to contribute to a Law Enforcement charity that really makes a difference, go to the website for the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund (NLEOMF). The memorial for fallen law enforcement is privately funded and very deserving.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 10:12 AM

As you may know, AF dau is a military cop so:

Top Ten Rejected Bumper Stickers

By AF Dau

10. My other car is an up-armored Humvee!
9. Perfectly Good Airplane = No Jumping Out
8. My machine gun fires faster than yours does!
7. Badges? Badges? I do have a stinkin' badge; I will show you my stinkin' badge.
6. That is spelled Air Force not Air Farce!
5. Jet Noise, the Sound of -eh--noisy aircraft
4. No bottles, no cows, all milk!
3. Ooops, I said AF Dau not Momma Kojak
2. Oh, look at the pretty blue flashing lights
1. For Whom the Siren Tolls. (Not for me, I am running it!)

Posted by: Fred | May 2, 2008 10:18 AM

I just saw one the other day that said, YEEHAW IS NOT A FOREIGN POLICY. That got a chuckle out of me.
My manta is, IF MAMA AINT HAPPY, AINT NOBODY HAPPY..,. so I think that would be mine. ;) Just in time for Mother's Day, I might add.

Posted by: Mama | May 2, 2008 10:19 AM

Love, love, love the FloraBama from my days in OCS, Fred!

I just bought my red midlife crisis car, and I can't bring myself to put a sticker on it. And this is the Left Coast, where people might shoot you if they don't like yours.

What I think is very odd is the sight of stickers reading: "In loving memory, [Name], 19XX-20XX." Why would you put an epitaph on a car?

Posted by: babsy1 | May 2, 2008 10:21 AM

Personally, I want a Darwin fish.

If I had a philosohpical bumper sticker, though, I would want one that says "Dayenu." Which for the non-Jews, basically means "it would have been enough" -- shows up at Passover in a song that repeats, if God had only done X, it would have been enough. I say to myself almost as a mantra when I start feeling greedy, selfish, dissatisfied, unsettled, etc. -- it reminds me to be thankful for the true bounty in my life.

Ok, to be more realistic: since I can't say anything in one word when 25 would work just as well, if I really made a bumper sticker, it would probably end up looking like the contract in Willy Wonka.

Posted by: Laura | May 2, 2008 10:25 AM

I saw a good one on the way in to work today - "If you're not outraged, you must have voted for Bush twice"

Posted by: Rosslyn | May 2, 2008 10:25 AM

Imagine Whirled Peas

Posted by: kate07 | May 2, 2008 10:25 AM

To anon on May 2, 2008 10:12 AM:

"once" it was just too funny. Normal procedure is to get a warning, approximately once a year. I'm not a serial violator, but a sticker pays for itself since 2002. Plus, it's good cause. Since we are exchanging plugs -- no, I'm not interested in funding the memorial. I'm supporting better quality of service for living through training programs, thus VA Sheriffs Institute.

Over.

Posted by: Nine | May 2, 2008 10:26 AM

PS -- really, really love the Heisenberg and ADHD ones!

Posted by: Laura | May 2, 2008 10:26 AM

Seen on a clunker:
My other car is a Mercedes

Posted by: KLB SS MD | May 2, 2008 10:27 AM

My neighbor has the classic "A village in Texas is missing its idiot."

I have to confess, I have a REALLY hard time deciphering those I8MYCAT2DAY ones. Too smart for my pea brain.

Love the "Meanest Mom" or "Mad Mama" concept. I would go for that.

Or something like: CAUTION: I'm Yelling at My Kids While Talking to My Husband on My Cell Phone

God, isn't it good to laugh!!!!

Posted by: Leslie | May 2, 2008 10:27 AM

To expand slightly on this topic, one of the funniest things I ever did in a car was to drive down the highway in an old vinyl top car, with our Siamese on the roof. We didn't realize it until other passengers started pointing at our roof and howling with laughter. And then we heard the cat meowing over the highway wind noise. A happy ending: we got the cat safely inside and turned back home without incident.

Posted by: Leslie | May 2, 2008 10:29 AM

Seen on a clunker:
My other car is a Mercedes

Posted by: KLB SS MD | May 2, 2008 10:27 AM

seen on a Merced3es SUV:
My real treasure is in Heaven.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 10:32 AM

My favorite personalized license plate, seen on a minivan somewhere on the DC Beltway about 10 years ago: "I SCHLEP" (For those of you with no yiddish, that basically means I haul my kids everywhere)

MY bumper sticker, which I will soon need to replace if I can ever find it again:
"Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult"

And in response to all those honor roll bumper stickers I remember seeing Kiwanis bumper stickers that said "Proud Parent of a happy kid" or something to that effect

Posted by: JB in VA | May 2, 2008 10:32 AM

Haha Leslie! Happened to my cat too! My three year old sister kept saying cat to my dad and he ignored it as a three year old babbling until he heard "Meow" and saw the cat hanging by its claws over the hatchback window! Always thought it was just us!

Posted by: FloridaChick | May 2, 2008 10:40 AM

PIG1 on a Mustang -- smbd did not read the story right, it's PIG3 who built a stone house

IH8NICCRS on a beat up truck with VA plate. Fooled the DMV by using C

URBTR on a really old rusted Volvo. I was twice at a light behind him, and he was slow to start, but who would beep at such self deprecation

WRKDHRD on a Porsche Cayenne

Posted by: vanity plates | May 2, 2008 10:40 AM

Niner, are you getting stopped by the same cop every year? Seriously Niner, your experience is statistically insignificant. Talk to the cops, or Sheriffs if you prefer, the overwhelming majority could not care less.

Thanks for contributing to your cause, however you don't have to be a snot.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 10:54 AM

Favorite vanity tag I saw:

L FNZ R

Took me 15 minutes to figure out the guy must have been a Jimmy Buffett fan. :-)

Alas, most of the ones I see aren't remotely clever. There's a Caddy in my garage that says "ISUE4U." Whoo-hoo, you're a lawyer.

Posted by: Laura | May 2, 2008 11:00 AM

LAura, I think the Darwin fish SAYING "Dayenu" would be spot-on! My idea (love is enough) is too sappy-- but a darwin fish saying "dayenu!" That would make people laugh AND get them thinking about the acceptance of God/ G-d.

As an added bonus, folks would start singing the bouncy little tune . . . Dye, Dye, anu . . . Dye, Dye, anu . . . Dye, Dye, anu . . Dye, anu, Dye-anu! HEY!

Posted by: gov mom | May 2, 2008 11:03 AM

Plate: TIHSON on a BMW in VA. Read it backwards as in looking in your rearview... Guess the screeners at DMV don't check what things say in reverse.

Posted by: Rosslyn | May 2, 2008 11:03 AM

on our car: Frodo failed. Bush has the Ring.

Posted by: for LOTR fans | May 2, 2008 11:07 AM

What I find funny is the minivans covered in stickers for all the activities that the kids are in:

Cheer with the cutout of the megaphone
The cutouts of the baseball player
The soccer balls
etc....

If the kids owned the car, it would make sense. Its my car and I don't play softball, why would I put a sticker on my car advertising that my kid does? The whole thing confounds me, much like the stickers advertising where people like to vacation but only people who go to beaches. There is no Montana sticker or WIL for Williamsburg only beach destinations. Funny.

Posted by: Moxiemom | May 2, 2008 11:10 AM

and the companion plate is KCOLREHS

Posted by: to Rosslyn | May 2, 2008 11:16 AM

Laura--Love the L FNZ R --took me FOREVER to figure that one out but it's great!

Posted by: tsp 2007 | May 2, 2008 11:21 AM

A BAD DAY AT THE BEACH IS BETTER THAN A GOOD DAY AT WORK.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 11:27 AM

We were more or less forced to put one of those silly honor roll bumper stickers on our car for a few semesters.

I have a policy: let strait A kids have whatever they want!

Posted by: DandyLion | May 2, 2008 11:28 AM

The whole evolution of the Jesus fish is also a lot of fun. First came the Jesus fish, then came the Darwin fish (with feet), then came the Truth fish eating one or the other of the two previous fish, then came the Evolve fish holding a tool...

Coolest fish-of-tribal-belonging: the Lawyer fish, complete with shark fin.

Posted by: BxNY | May 2, 2008 11:29 AM

to Moxiemom--the town I live in has its centennial this year so they made little bumper stickers with the town's initials. For whatever reason, my rabidly-anti-bumper sticker husband decided this one should go on to our truck. I found it confounding too, but it's kind of strange how often we are far from home and people talk to us because they are from our area and know the town. It's certainly not some kind of Martha's Vineyard destination, I promise you!!

Posted by: tsp 2007 | May 2, 2008 11:29 AM

Some of the ones around here

YBSANE

GDCRDT on a new Volvo

SEXYLADY (usually driven by a man)

LUDDITE (guess where?)

MY MAXI on a sedan driven by a woman (Yes the car is red)

and the best one I have ever seen

AWESOME

On a Lamborghini Countach


Posted by: Fred | May 2, 2008 11:30 AM

Laura--Love the L FNZ R --took me FOREVER to figure that one out but it's great!

Posted by: tsp 2007 | May 2, 2008 11:21 AM

______________________________

Absolutely - and without the Jimmy Buffett hint, I'd still probably be staring at it with a furrowed brow and preplexed look on my face.

Posted by: DCD | May 2, 2008 11:47 AM

Too young to be a Jimmy Buffett fan. Can't figure it out. Can you spell it out Laura?

Posted by: Anon for This | May 2, 2008 11:51 AM

L FNZ R

Hey, just tell us!

Posted by: Give Us A Clue | May 2, 2008 11:51 AM

My other ride is your mom

My kids is an honor student; my president is an idiot

Be nice to America or we'll bring democracy to your country

Posted by: wtf | May 2, 2008 11:55 AM

Too young to be a Jimmy Buffett fan. Can't figure it out. Can you spell it out Laura?

Posted by: Anon for This | May 2, 2008 11:51 AM

__________________________________

Wow, that hurt. Am I old?

"Fins to the left, fins to the right . . . "

Posted by: DCD | May 2, 2008 11:55 AM

Sorry -- it's "Fins" -- about a woman dealing with "the sharks that swim on the land." The chorus is "fins to the left, fins to the right, and you're the only bait in town."

One of my favorite songs (which is why it was so ridiculous that it took me so long to figure it out).

Posted by: Laura | May 2, 2008 11:55 AM

how can anybody be too young to be a JB fan? You just have to be of legal age, imho

Posted by: dotted | May 2, 2008 11:58 AM

Since I received such an outpouring of appreciation for my first song of the day (I'm too old to know it!), I will treat you to a golden oldie!

As Paul Harvey would say "Standby!"

(Maybe next time I will post all the dirty lyrics to SpongeMom that I though up!)

Posted by: Songster | May 2, 2008 11:59 AM

Dotted, who says you have to be of legal age? Every kid needs something to aspire to, right?

Posted by: Laura | May 2, 2008 12:00 PM

I love Paul Harvey - Songster, I think we are dating ourselves there! Good day!

Posted by: moxiemom | May 2, 2008 12:02 PM

Hey, I did a Amy Whinehouse song one day and no one said a word. The Songster is nothing but current with that touch of oldies!

(Think Mommas &Poppas Monday, Monday!)

Posted by: Songster | May 2, 2008 12:06 PM

Hang up and drive!

Posted by: magpie | May 2, 2008 12:13 PM

There are stickers for places other than beaches, even though none come to mind right now. I have seen them before.

As for sports, schools or horns for a cheer, usually they are magnets now. I prefer them to stickers, if your kid quits soccer and moves to football you replace a magnet, not fuss, no muss. It is basically a community thing, not who owns the car. Don't you drive your kid around and pay for the sports and activities? If so, slap a magnet on, or not.

Posted by: Get Real | May 2, 2008 12:14 PM

So I'm thinking "Love is enough."
Posted by: gov mom | May 2, 2008 9:45 AM

Hmmmm. Beatles already did that one. "Love is all you need . . . "

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 12:16 PM

I can't say I thought it up, but I do wish I knew where to buy one!

"Would you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your a$$?"

Posted by: CJB | May 2, 2008 12:17 PM

to the tune of "Monday, Monday" as sung by the Mommas and the Pappas

(and if you think that you detect a subtle criticism of certain comment made at --say--9:32, you may be correct!)

Monday Monday, so serious to me,
Monday Monday, it was all the work I hoped it wouldn't be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening my job would still be here with me.

Friday, Friday, I trust that day,
Friday, Friday, sometimes it just chases my blues away
Oh Friday morning, I am warming to what was to be
Oh Friday, Friday, just please entertain me!

Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is blah, yeah
But whenever Friday comes, but whenever Friday comes
You can find me howlin' all of the time

Monday Monday, so bad to me,
Friday, Friday, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Friday morning, Friday morning could guarantee
That On Balance would give a good laugh to me.

Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Friday comes, but whenever Friday comes
You can find me laughin' all of the time

Friday, Friday, ...

Posted by: Songster | May 2, 2008 12:21 PM

Test

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 12:22 PM

The Songster rocks!

Posted by: DandyLion | May 2, 2008 12:23 PM

Vanity plate seen many years ago on a Honda Prelude: N FUGUE

Anyone remember the "Honk if you love cheeses" bumper sticker from Kraft? That one's really old.

I've been wanting to have this bumper sticker made for 7 years: "We've been Dubya-crossed!"

Posted by: magpie | May 2, 2008 12:24 PM

Songster, I am sitting on my virtual boyfriend's shoulders, in my virtual tube top, holding up my virutal lighter!

Posted by: Moxiemom | May 2, 2008 12:24 PM

I can't say I thought it up, but I do wish I knew where to buy one!

"Would you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your a$$?"

Posted by: CJB | May 2, 2008 12:17 PM

Actually, CJB, you can have bumper stickers made up -- and sell them, as well -- on cafepress.com. Check it out.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 12:25 PM

Get Real,
If you have to advertise your child's activities and achievements, then you need to get your own life. Driving your kid around to activities is the role of a parent. Just do it...we don't need to know where you are going.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 12:28 PM

I was listening to the radio the other day and the announcer was a guy. His wife was driving on the Beltway and a semi passed them. It had a sign in window "Show me your (insert crude word for breasts)". So HE flashed the trucker.

Posted by: KLB SS MD | May 2, 2008 12:33 PM

Posted by: | May 2, 2008 12:28 PM

Thanks for coming back, I was worried about your absence. Are you out on a weekend pass or has Leslie been deleting you wonderful posts?

Posted by: Get Real | May 2, 2008 12:33 PM

Moxiemom=Spongemom Hot Pants!

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 12:35 PM

Get Real,
If you have to advertise your child's activities and achievements, then you need to get your own life. Driving your kid around to activities is the role of a parent. Just do it...we don't need to know where you are going.

Posted by: | May 2, 2008 12:28 PM

Oh, don't be such a curmudgeon. It's got nothing to do with who does and doesn't have a life. It's a positive thing, akin to promoting the Race for a Cure, e.g., it expands local awareness of a non-profit's brand. If this is the best target you can find for snark, you don't have enough real problems

Posted by: snark snark snark | May 2, 2008 12:37 PM

Long ago, in the 1970s during the first gas crisis, speed limits were lowered to 55 mpg to save fuel.

The government issued a bunch of bumper stickers that said "55 - a speed we can live with", or something like that, to encourage people to drive slower.

Being the geek that I was, I went to a Star Trek convention and bought the following bumper sticker for my car:

"Warp 5 - a speed we can live with"

Posted by: CJB | May 2, 2008 12:37 PM

What I find odd are the people who have the ribbon magnets on their car but then keep them on there SO LONG that they (the ribbons, not the people) are completely faded and you no longer know what cause they are ribbonning for. Why not champion your cause with a bright new ribbon?

Posted by: tsp 2007 | May 2, 2008 12:38 PM

CJB - you reminded me of a bumper sticker I saw back during the 70's gas crisis. I was living in SC at the time:

Drive 70 and freeze a Yankee

Posted by: KLB SS MD | May 2, 2008 12:39 PM

snark, snark, snark: You are the snarkiest! And I mean that in a good way.

Posted by: Get Real | May 2, 2008 12:40 PM

Get a life? Kids ARE part of my life, I'm proud of them, and those Judo/Kendo/Softball stickers are conversation starters too. I'm curious who else is doing this stuff. Don't look if you don't like it. Maybe even my choice of vehicle lets you imagine things about me? "My child is on Honor Roll" doesn't always mean "and yours is not, na-na-na-na boo boo"

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 12:44 PM

My favorite ever:

Somewhere in Texas, A Village is Missing an Idiot

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 12:55 PM

"SpongMom HotPants!"

(You know the tune!)

T. Leary: Are you ready kids?

Kids: Aye, Aye T. Leary.

T. Leary: I can't hear you.

Kids: Aye Aye, T. Leary

T. Leary: OHHHHHHH

Who is the lady that lives in the Seventies?

Kids: SpongeMom HotPants!

T. Leary: The most beautiful MILF that I ever did see?

Kids: SpongeMom HotPants!

T. Leary: If lava lamps and headbands are what you wish!

Kids: SpongeMom HotPants!

T. Leary: Then turn on, tune in and drop out as fast as a fish!

Kids: SpongeMom HotPants!

T. Leary: Ready?

T. Leary and Kids: SpongeMom HotPants, SpongeMom HotPants,
SpongeMom HotPants!

T. Leary: SpongeMom HotPaaaaaaaaaaaannntttttssssssss!!!

T. Leary: HA HA HA HA !!!!

Posted by: Songster | May 2, 2008 1:03 PM


"I know I'm old when I don't know the spongebob squarepants song. My kids were/are too old to ever watch it."

dotted, spongebob is wonderfully subversive -- kinda like the Simpsons, it's not just a kids' show. Watch it without them.

Posted by: MN | May 2, 2008 1:06 PM

Songster, you may have outdone yourself with the SpongeMom HotPants! Loved it!

And dotted, I'll second MN's recommendation. It's even amusing to watch with the kids, and realize that while you each find it funny, it's for way different reasons.

Posted by: kate07 | May 2, 2008 1:11 PM

I love the bumper sticker that reads: "I'd Rather Be Here, Now"

Posted by: equal | May 2, 2008 1:30 PM

If I Lived in my Car I would be home now

Posted by: KLB SS MD | May 2, 2008 1:48 PM

Ribbon magnet: "I Support Whatever's Trendy"

Posted by: Rosslyn | May 2, 2008 1:52 PM

If I used bumper stickers:

"Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Bartlet" and

"God Bless Everyone, No Exceptions"

However, I believe in the adage "Never let your enemies know who your friends are", so I don't do bumper stickers, yard signs, buttons, etc.

Posted by: destinysmom | May 2, 2008 1:57 PM

"Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be Sarcastic"

Posted by: Rosslyn | May 2, 2008 2:01 PM

I never really liked putting bumper stickers on my own car, but made a couple of exceptions--one was "If you can read this, thank a teacher" and the other was when each of our sons reached Eagle rank in Scouts. We had the "I'm proud of my Eagle Scout" sticker.

However, I love reading the ones on other cars (and the vanity tags, too--I wish I could be that clever). The one mentioned a couple of times already--Visualize Whirled Peas--is good.

Posted by: Lynne | May 2, 2008 2:23 PM

"Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?" is one of my faves

About 15 years ago there was a huge fight in my state over a ballot initiative intended to curb gay rights. The group fighting it put out a sticker that said, "Celebrate Diversity!" Then there were a bunch more from the dueling positions in the same color and font - they were all over. The someone made some that said "Divert Celebrities!" I still see one of those around town and it cracks me up, in part because all the people who weren't here 15 years ago must be completely baffled.

Posted by: LizaBean | May 2, 2008 2:31 PM

LizaBean, Ha! That takes an "in" joke to a whole new level.

The handbasket one is one of my all time faves, too.

Posted by: MN | May 2, 2008 2:35 PM

You aren't in Kansas anymore Dorothy.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 2:37 PM

"You aren't in Kansas anymore Dorothy."

Better:

"Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas. Took the dog; never coming back. Dorothy"

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 2:40 PM

Ok, completely OT, but I'm stuck in my second 3+-hr conference call today, and I'm so proud of my girl I can't stand it. We are looking to change schools, so took her in to the local elementary to be assessed to figure out where they'd place her. She was completely freaked for a week beforehand -- as many times as I tried to reassure her that we hadn't decided anything, that these tests are just to see what she already knows and what she doesn't, none of it helped.

Well, we got up that AM, and it was a total 180. The girl was ON. She girded herself for battle as only a 6-yr-old can (in her prettiest dress, of course), walked in, shook hands, walked right off with the specialists as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and came back hours later the same way. I swear she grew an inch right before my eyes.

I have no idea how the assessments turned out -- I suspect she did well, but that's almost irrelevant (we want the right placement for her, whatever that may be). The amazing thing was watching my girl face some really big fears, decide that this was important to her, and then step right up to the plate to hit it out of the park. I suddenly got a picture of her at 16 or 26. Proud and bittersweet, all at the same time.

Posted by: Laura | May 2, 2008 2:42 PM

My bumper sticker would read:

"Quod semper, quod ubique, quod ab omnibus."

This is a quote from St. Vincent of Lerins. It means, accept what always, what everywhere, what by everyone has been acknowledged to be true.

Posted by: MattInAberdeen | May 2, 2008 2:49 PM

Oh, I just got a long list of anti-Bush slogans (including "Frodo failed...", my fave). Another good one: "We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language."

Given my love life, mine would be "Men are NOT an endangered species."

Posted by: pepperjade | May 2, 2008 2:50 PM

Laura you are making me all teary-eyed! That's quite a girl you've got. I'm sure your support is a big part of that.

Posted by: gov mom | May 2, 2008 2:51 PM

DH's variant: "Visualize World Peace, because it's so much easier than working for it".

He also wants to get a fish hook to go with all the Christian and Darwin fishes.

Two actually on our 20-y-o Celica:
"Pagan and Proud"
"I (heart) my Mother" with the 'O' replaced by a planet earth.

Posted by: Sue | May 2, 2008 2:53 PM

Laura,

That is so cool. What an awesome mom moment.

Almost takes the edge off that second 3- hour call. Doesn't it, LOL?

Posted by: MN | May 2, 2008 2:58 PM

I tend to like "I DO the things you're afraid to fantasize about"

and "Yes, I like it like that, what's the big deal?"

As a kinky, bisexual, polyamorous boring chica, a lot of my energy tends to go towards balancing a world that dislikes difference, whether I like it or not.

Posted by: Liz D | May 2, 2008 3:08 PM

Laura, that is awesome! Your daughter grew in her own eyes, too, I'm sure. What a great way to brighten up our day--thanks for sharing that story with us. Whatever her placement, she'll be an asset to the school.

Posted by: Lynne | May 2, 2008 3:08 PM

Liz D, I like the way you think, LOL. Thumbing your nose at the narrow-minded is its own reward.

Posted by: MN | May 2, 2008 3:27 PM

My bumper sticker says;
I want EVERYTHING
But I'll settle for chocolate.

Posted by: Emily | May 2, 2008 3:44 PM

Hi Laura -- Great story about your daughter. These little ones really are amazing....

Posted by: gottabeanon | May 2, 2008 3:46 PM

Laura, awwwww. How amazing.

Love it, Liz D and Emily.

Posted by: LizaBean | May 2, 2008 3:50 PM

Hey, Laura, now I'm sitting her crying. I understand the bittersweet. When the kids do something 'new' I always think how great - I'll miss them (these ages!) when they're older.

Posted by: atlmom | May 2, 2008 4:25 PM

Awww, thanks, guys. And hallelujah, conference calls are finally over, so off to dinner with hubby and family. Happy Friday!!

Posted by: Laura | May 2, 2008 5:19 PM

Back when I had a car I felt like marring with bumper stickers, I had a pair that a friend made for me. The left one read "Take it easy" and the right one read "...if it's easy, take it twice"

A date once gave me the "Republicans for Voldemort" sticker. With a rose he made out of duct tape and kept in a fabric softener box to make it smell good.

Posted by: law_bela | May 2, 2008 5:55 PM

299,792,458 m/s
Not just a good idea, it's the law

Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2008 7:32 PM

My bumper sticker would read: "Warning: Unsocialized Homeschoolers On-Board".

Posted by: a79uvahoo | May 3, 2008 8:27 AM

uh, that would be 1,802,613,915,500 furlong/fortnight

Posted by: U2 | May 3, 2008 12:13 PM

I saw a fun license plate the other day:

R3VOVOM

(contemplate that in your rear view mirror...)

Posted by: js | May 3, 2008 7:21 PM

"Southern by birth, Tar Heel by the grace of God"

Posted by: tarheelgal | May 6, 2008 3:35 PM

My fav bumper sticker: "God is a Hokie, that's why the leaves turn orange and maroon in the fall!"

Posted by: Hokie | May 7, 2008 5:18 PM

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