Tivo.....it is for adults and kids. No more explaining why the Backyardigans is not on now. You can use TV when you want to. And when the kids are finally off to bed you get to watch what you want and not a re-run of "Who's the Boss" every night!!

And oh....First!!

Totally agree with happydad about Tivo.

Cell phones w/cameras

GPS navigator (the kids think they're watching a movie in the car, they're so easily amused -- for now)

Anything Playmobil

Baby wipes

Telecommuting!

Forgot to add wireless internet capability. Couldn't live without that, or at least I could work from home without it.

The Acme Automatic Diaper Changer. What a lifesaver! Just throw baby in the box, and listen for a few gears to churn, then the wash, rince, powder cycle comes on and Ding! Baby all changed and happy. No fuss, no mess, perfect every time.

How did they do it in the olden days? Things must have been rough back then!

I echo the TiVo comment. And although I'm sure some will flame me for it, I put in the plug for the car DVD player. Long trips with the kid are sooooo much easier now.

RiverCityRoller - the only flame I have for car DVD players are the ones mounted so that they are in the direct line of sight of the car behind you. Very distracting especially at night. I would love to see if Cars/vans with this kind of player are in more rear end collisions. If the flickering light of the screen (or a favorite scence from a movie) distracts me from seeing your brake lights.

Other than that I echo the TIVO comment - being able to put the TV on pause when the child yells - "Mom" just makes my life easier. The child would still get the same response, Mom just wouldn't be as happy.

We have a portable one that hangs on the back of the seat. I understand what you mean about the ones in mini-vans that are from the ceiling.

Books! My wife and I have decided that, when he arrives, our son will not be entertained by electronics 24/7. This means no TV / DVD in the vehicle, holding off exposure to video games as long as possible and then limiting the amount of time spent playing them. We've agreed that there will be an electronics time limit and it will be all inclusive. He will have a set number of minutes to use any or all of the PC, TV/DVD and video game system however he chooses. After that, they're off limits.

What ever happened to looking out the window? Reading a book / magazine or playing with (gasp) actual, physical toys? My parents strongly encouraged reading. I spent countless hours in the car reading away. Thankfully car sickness was not something that ever bothered me.

Kids have a remarkable ability to entertain themselves and we're going to nurture that as much as we can. God help us when he discovers other kids with unlimited access to the things we're trying to deny / limit.

cheerios, portable food; target practice when potty training boys.

hokiealumnus, come talk to me in 5 or 6 years. You sound a bit holier-than-thou for someone who doesn't have children yet.

Two related things:

1. formula...without formula, moms couldn't choose to return to work before a child was weaned.

2. electric breast pumps....same thought. A mom can now return to work and still provide breast milk for her child.

Both changed the dynamics of the work place, of families, and of women's place in society.

Books on tape or CDs! Much better in the car than a DVD; everyone can enjoy, too. My favs are Mrs Piggle Wiggle, Boxcar Children, and, of course, Harry P. Check 'em out of the local library.

NON-rectal thermometers!

My wife and I have decided that, when he arrives, our son will not be entertained by electronics 24/7. This means no TV / DVD in the vehicle, holding off exposure to video games as long as possible and then limiting the amount of time spent playing them. ...

What ever happened to looking out the window? Reading a book / magazine or playing with (gasp) actual, physical toys?

--------

Wow! Only someone who is not a parent would write that.

When your child arrives, you will find that they demand everything: Books, physical toys, tv, and video games and they demand it as early as 2 1/2 and will demand it when they wake up in the middle of the night at 3:30am and demand it at 10pm when they can't sleep, they'll demand it in the car and when you're eating dinner.

Go ahead, tell me with assurance, that you'll wake up and read to your child when they're screaming at 3:30am instead of putting a video on for 10 minutes while you both fall back asleep. Let me know how it works for you when you have an 8:30am meeting you stayed up until midnight preparing for and the kid is screaming at 3:30am and you have a list of rules you plan to follow.

It's good to have rules, we all did, and then our kids decided they didn't have to listen to the rules and maybe we had 6 months of "laying down the law" or 12 months of negotiation or 3 years where they got to play video games at their cousins' house, but not at home, but every parent caves under that constant pressure.

TiVo, I agree. I love it, love it love it.

Car DVD players - I could read and nap on long car trips, but I wasn't in a 5-point booster. Plus, my kids can't read yet, and can't quite see well out of the window when strapped in.

And diaper wipes. I use them for everything. Diapers, cleaning things, paint spills, I love them. Between when DD #1 toilet trained and DD #2 arrived, we still bought them. Much nicer for cleaning than paper towels and chemicals.

The Internet. My wife and I have been able to order diapers, toys, and a very hard to find piece for our safety gate (no retailer in No VA sells the middle piece for the KidCo gate we bought - but we plugged the model number in Google and found it immediately). Stuff is delivered to your front door which is very helpful when you are feeding your new son.

"It's good to have rules, we all did, and then our kids decided they didn't have to listen to the rules and maybe we had 6 months of "laying down the law" or 12 months of negotiation or 3 years where they got to play video games at their cousins' house, but not at home, but every parent caves under that constant pressure."

Not every parent, not me. It kills me to hear adults say that they just can't bear the pressure of saying no to their kids--I want to say, "They're children! You're an adult! Act like it!"

Hokie, come talk to me when you have a screaming toddler in your backseat and you're the only adult on a 3 hour car trip stuck in traffic on the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel. Those Disney DVD's aren't going to seem like such a terrible idea then.

"Hokie, come talk to me when you have a screaming toddler in your backseat and you're the only adult on a 3 hour car trip stuck in traffic on the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel. "

The belt works, every time.

Hokie -- We can make it five hours in the car without the DVD player. But for the eight hour drive, we break it out half way there. Oldest kid is 6.

It's good to (at the very least) start out with high expectations of how your kids will behave, how you will treat them, and what limitations you will set and enforce.

your child will read in the car! really what if your child can't read in the car because reading in the car makes them puke? will you still make them read? my mother & brother could both read in the car. i could not. why is a movie in the car so much worse than staring bored out of a window?

Why does the DVD player have to be the distraction? Whatever happened to picture books, crayons and coloring books, and I spy... as the kids get older there are other games too. That is what we do. And yes, we take a 12 hour one way road trip to visit the in-laws at least 3 times a year. The trip involves 3 stops, gas when we leave, midway for gas & lunch, gas when we are about 20 miles away...the kids can do it.

"When your child arrives, you will find that they demand everything: Books, physical toys, tv, and video games and they demand it as early as 2 1/2 and will demand it when they wake up in the middle of the night at 3:30am and demand it at 10pm when they can't sleep, they'll demand it in the car and when you're eating dinner."

Wow. Just wow. Demand? Wow. You're wrapped or suckered in or something. And it's not good.

Good for you, anon. However, I find the DVD player best for a 2 year old, especially since I often travel with no other adult to help me.

Hey I'm standing up for hokie. My kids are nine and 11 and we still have no TV though I do have the capacity to play DVDs. They do some time on the computer with some online games but I don't have DSL so they're limited in that. We read books a LOT, my kids write their own stories now (I used to take dictation) and now design funky powerpoints featuring digital photos they take of their dolls/toys/friends.
When other kids come over, our marble runs, blocks, veterinary playkit, dress-up clothes, musical instruments are huge hits. And whenever it's feasibly, I kick my kids outside.
Now it is harder if one adult is left home alone with no one else to turn to for relief from parenting. I completely understand that a parent has to take a shower once in a while and TV/videos do make that possible (mostly). So I'm not going to criticize anyone who's made other choices. But hokie, if you set your mind to it, there's no reason you can't limit electronic diversions and create other pleasures for your children. Go for it!

Not every parent, not me. It kills me to hear adults say that they just can't bear the pressure of saying no to their kids--I want to say, "They're children! You're an adult! Act like it!"

------

Sorry, you're just wrong. I've met people who CLAIM to not let their kids do this or that. My son's friend's Mom told me that she never let the kid eat processed food, but then the kid is telling me stories about the food they ate at home and when I asked about it the Mom claimed that bread and tofu and cake and these other foods "aren't processed." yeah, they just grow naturally on the bread tree.

Wow. Just wow. Demand? Wow. You're wrapped or suckered in or something. And it's not good.

-----

Does your child know how to speak? Then your child knows how to demand. You are fulling yourself.

But hokie, if you set your mind to it, there's no reason you can't limit electronic diversions and create other pleasures for your children. Go for it!

------

your kids play videogames on the computer, so I wouldn't say they're limited, would you really?

I think it must depend on the kid, parents, and the needs. My older son learned a lot of valuable things from computer games. He has autism, and he wouldn't have learned those things any other way. Limiting him to a set number of minutes of "screen time" would have limited his progress in overcoming his disability.

But younger son's best friend was very recently diagnosed with autism, and he and his older sister (ADD diagnosis) have always had very-strictly-limited access to TV and computers.

You just have to go with what works for your kid and your family. Sometimes the plans we make before the kid is born, turn out to be exactly what happens. Sometimes those plans have to be discarded.

Great post.

Ha! Non rectal thermometer seconded. Also, 2.DCUM, great resource for everything under the sun. 3.Freecycle (both to purge random kidstuff and to acquire items of fleeting usefulness like a breadmachine to indulge my small chef). 4.Boogie board to put kid 2 on back of stroller and avoid getting a double. 5.Ergo carrier, hands down most comfortable possible way to carry monster baby. 6.Click (science mag)) for my kid since she was two. 7.Silk scarves for endless pretend play. 8.Water play. 9.Growing anything (in dirt, forcing bulbs on gravel inside, ordering insects and hatching them). 10.Dogs as soothers.

MamaBird at SurelyYouNest

High-quality strollers. The change in strollers has made a world of difference.

To the anonymous nattering nabob:

See, fortunately I'm bigger than my kids, so when they demand stuff I can say "no", and all they can do is keep demanding. Then the cool thing is, I say "no" again. Then they might demand again. And then I start taking things away from them. Then they cry. Then I win. Then they stop demanding stuff. It's awesome.

Have to disagree about DCUM, which is the only local Board I'm familiar with. Those folks on there are brutal. While I could occasionally find some good practical advice/tips, I've lately stopped visiting that site cold turkey b/c of how nasty a large percentage of the people are (or seem through the internet).

your kids play videogames on the computer, so I wouldn't say they're limited, would you really?

Posted by: | February 29, 2008 03:23 PM

Neither hokie nor I are talking about banning electronics -- just setting limits on them. The lack of DSL at our house means a lot of games won't work or are so slow, it's more interesting to do something else. I'm not a Luddite, I just agree electronics are worth limiting and there's a lot of value in encouraging other kinds of play. And I totally agree it depends on the family like Sue said. You have to do what works for your family.

Then the cool thing is, I say "no" again. Then they might demand again. And then I start taking things away from them. Then they cry. Then I win.
----

Not a healthy relationship with your kids. You think you win when they cry? Rent the Great Santini.

"See, fortunately I'm bigger than my kids, so when they demand stuff I can say "no", and all they can do is keep demanding. Then the cool thing is, I say "no" again. Then they might demand again. And then I start taking things away from them. Then they cry. Then I win. Then they stop demanding stuff. It's awesome. "

--I'm glad to see that there are still parents out there who stand firmly to their ground. Kudos to you.

"Not a healthy relationship with your kids. You think you win when they cry? "

And just exactly how is it healthly when you let your brats demand for material good at 3 AM in the morning and give in to their whims. You want to know what works for me when my 4 year old daughter suddenly wake up in the middle of the night? I simply find out what the problem is and if it's nothing major, (like restlessness,) I tell her to go back to bed and have her lie there until she falls back asleep. I've been doing it for years and it's very effective. You should give it a try. But you have to promise yourself that you will stand your grounds-like every parent should.

"Rent the Great Santini."

I love Pat Conroy books. My Losing Season is better though.

I win the argument. We both win when they respect me, and I respect them. We always love each other.

i think this has broken down into another one of those tv is evil arguements. exactly why is a coloring book or a picture book better than a dvd on a car trip?

my son has quite a few of the latest gagdets. i'm not really thrilled about them but he earned the money to buy them so i let him buy them. does that mean i am no longer the parent because i let him buy something i really don't want? how about teaching him the larger lesson about spending money frivolously on things that he wants but then discovers he doesn't want when he has them. since i'm trying to teach him a larger lesson, does that mean i'm the parent?
there is a lot of smug self righteousness (and maybe denial) coming from the "i'm the parent crowd". have you never ever even once not given in to your child?

"have you never ever even once not given in to your child?"
--Not for something I believe in so strongly. (You know how the saying goes, give a kid an inch, they'll take a yard.) So it's better to not give in so something you are strongly against/for.

"have you never ever even once not given in to your child?"
--Not for something I believe in so strongly. (You know how the saying goes, give a kid an inch, they'll take a yard.) So it's better to not give in so something you are strongly against/for.

Posted by: Soguns1 | February 29, 2008 05:19 PM

But what about the things you don't believe in strongly? Every DVD or computer game is something you believe in strongly? You have never changed your mind because of a well thought out arguement?

I was seven when I started winning negotiations with my parents. I'd ask for something (like spending the night with a friend), and they'd say no. I'd ask for the reasons for the no. They'd explain. Then, if I could come up with good solutions for their objections, I could get the yes answer I wanted.

I learned three things - creative problem-solving, negotiating skills, and when they'd hit their limit and I'd better shut up. I wouldn't have learned those valuable life skills if my parents had been as rigid as some of the posters today are presenting themselves.

To divert the attack on video, etc. I could no long imagine living without my dishwasher. Our first house was small and the kitchen drain plumbing was totally stupid so we could not even put in a portable one. And I have no kids. I totally could not imagine dealing with having to wash dishes and dealing with small childrens needs.

When I did a long-term childcare in late teenage (late 70s, frequent babysitting including when the parents went on vacation) I was also extremely grateful for disposables because I had two kids under two that I was taking care of (infant and 18-m-old). Prior to caring for them I had babysat lots of kids that had cloth diapers and, well, just eeeuw.

"How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk."

Best book ever for people like me that need to learn to calm down with kids (I know it's based on PET, but still); I wore the copy out I had at camp lo these many years and had to buy a new one.

The sippy cups that look like starbucks tumblers. (Actually a tumbler with a valve, but the valve is super easy to pop out and clean.)

And my winner -

Ziploc bags

Ok, wow. Didn't think that would be quite so controversial.

To those offended - My apologies, I was not attempting to be holier-than-thou. Simply relating my wife's and my decision as well as my childhood experiences.

Anne.Saunders summed it up nicely; looks like we have a kindred soul. Though I'm not sure we'll go so far as a belt like Jake. I never said TV was evil or video games are horrible...just that we plan on delaying their onset and subsequently strictly limiting their use.

If any of that offends you, well, like I plan on telling my kid when he whines that he can't play more video games: Tough.

Nuk! I swore I wouldn't use a pacifier before my first child was born. Two days home from the hospital I sent my husband on a late night run to Giant. The moment I popped that thing into her mouth I felt every muscle relax--hers and mine. Needless suffering was dispelled. Ten years later, I still think it was the greatest invention.