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Boy Power or Girls Rule?

How much is the "right" gendered child worth?

In England, mom Wendy Bowen thinks it's important enough to try for baby No. 9. Bowen and her husband's first child was a girl. The fetus died when Bowen was 8 months pregnant. And since then, she's had boys -- eight of them.

Bowen, who is 41, told the Daily Mail that she's been trying for a girl in every pregnancy, adding: "I would love one more just in case it is a girl. My husband says no but he's been saying that for a long time -- I just don't listen."

Wanting a specific-gendered child is nothing new. A search around the Web revealed many "natural" methods including a kit that lets customers modify mom and dad's body chemistry to influence a child's gender before conception. Then, there's the Dr. Jonas Method that purports to let you plan gender based on the ovulatory calendar. For those already undergoing in vitro fertilization to get pregnant -- or who are willing to undergo the expense and emotional and physical toll of it -- there's a truly scientific method called Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis or PGD.

In the days before my life was filled with two wonderful boys, I always imagined having a daughter. When my second pregnancy was the total opposite in every way from my first, my mind was set that the baby was a girl. And I was definitely shocked when the ultrasound showed that, in fact, baby No. 2 had the telltale signs of a boy baby. Thankfully, I had the last half of the pregnancy to get used to the reality that I was going to be mom to boys only.

Now that I've been living that way for four years, I couldn't imagine my world or my children any differently.

How far would you go to have a child by gender? Were you surprised -- or even saddened -- when you originally learned the gender of any of your children?

By Stacey Garfinkle |  April 7, 2008; 7:00 AM ET  | Category:  Babies
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Comments


I've been around enough to know that even one healthy child is an incredible gift. When I had my son, I said if he was all there was it would be enough. I now have one of each and enjoy every bit of each of them!

Posted by: Moxiemom | April 7, 2008 7:38 AM | Report abuse

I'm 38 weeks pregnant with my second and don't know what we are having. It's amazing the things people will say (our first is a boy) - oh you must want a girl so badly, wont you be disappointed if it's another boy, won't you be disappointed if it's a girl - two boys so close in age would be so great... people just can't keep their opinions on the matter to themselves. Especially the, I can't believe you didn't find out, how will you be prepared, I would NEVER wait to find out, you all are crazy... I tell them all that either way, we'll be lucky - one of each would be a great pair and two brothers 19 months apart woudl be wonderful too. We just want a healthy baby.

Posted by: jp | April 7, 2008 7:56 AM | Report abuse

PIGD works only after fertilization. If the gender is not the desired gender, then one must consider terminating the pregnancy, and some people have religious rules that prohibit them from doing that. A more advanced scientific approach exists, whereby sperm cells are sorted according to gender before fertilization - see http://microsort.net/ - the method raises the proportion of female sperm from 50% to 88% (so you now have an 88% chance of getting a girl). When used to select for male sperm, it achieves only 73%. Girls Rule! :-)

Posted by: Select for girls :-) | April 7, 2008 7:58 AM | Report abuse

"How far would you go to have a child by gender?"

Not an inch. When you suffer repeated miscarriages and infertility, simply having a baby is a gift.

When I was pregnant with no. 2, I got a lot of the same questions as jp. I know it was well-intentioned, but boy, people sure do think it's ok to ask a pregnant woman a lot of personal stuff. When people asked us "so what do you want it to be?" I usually just said "human" and laughed.

Posted by: Laura | April 7, 2008 8:06 AM | Report abuse

Yeah...when I get pregnant, I don't think I'll be telling anyone. My mom will just show up at my house one day and I'll have a baby. Everyone in my neighborhood speaks Chinese anyway, so even if they are being nosy, I won't be able to tell.

Last year, a grandmother at my school told the kindergarten teacher she HAD to have a baby that year because it was a good year for a girl.

I don't think I would want to select for gender. I think girls are usually calmer, but my nephew is the sweetest boy ever, so I just think my husband's family has good baby genes. Also, I like think Karma would make those kids who were selected for gender gay or transvestites or something else to upset the gender-focused parent.

Posted by: kat | April 7, 2008 8:24 AM | Report abuse

We have 5 girls. I thought for sure baby 2 was a boy. When we found out we were having twins I was insistent that one was a boy (my husband's family has tons of twins, all boy/girl). I knew #5 was a girl, but my oldest and my husband held out hope. I am glad I found out at the ultrasound so that they had time to adjust to the fact that we were a family of women! No, we did not keep trying to see if we would get a boy, we wanted a big family. I am thankful everyday that we have 5 healthy kids. I know that my husband REALLY wants a son. We have discussed taking measures to guarantee a boy. We have discussed adoption to guarantee a boy. I am not sure I want another child so none of those options are right for us right now. I do know that I won't keep having kids in the hopes we have a son...by that method I could easily become Momof12!!!

Posted by: Momof5 | April 7, 2008 8:24 AM | Report abuse

@Momof5

Yeah, that's why my mom has seven brothers.

Posted by: kat | April 7, 2008 8:27 AM | Report abuse

I never cared with either pregnancy whether it was a girl or boy. I had a girl first, which was very fun for me. Then a miscarriage when trying for #2. So, I was so thrilled to have my third pregnancy moving along without incident that I absolutely didn't care about the gender. I did find out though at the ultrasound because I was so nervous during the pregnancy that I thought knowing the gender would give me something tangible to focus on. I had a boy and it's wonderful to have one of each gender. But, I would have loved two girls as well. Trying to use science to ensure a certain gender makes me uncomfortable.

Posted by: Pt Fed Mof2 | April 7, 2008 8:38 AM | Report abuse

Typed one-handed because I'm holding my sleeping newborn daughter with one arm while momma gets some more sleep.

We both wanted a girl, but wouldn't have taken any steps to ensure it. We would often get asked "Do you want a boy or a girl" early on and I'd glibly respond "Mostly, we want 'or'". The moments it took for them to process my response were priceless

Posted by: ManekiNeko | April 7, 2008 8:51 AM | Report abuse

I have one of each. I was convinced by others and by my desire that #1 was a boy. When I came from under on the operating table I told my husband that he was in big trouble when he anounced to me it was a girl. My daughter is a beautiful girly girl, the complete opposite of her mother the tomboy. I'm happy I have her, she gives me a new perspective on being female. My boy I love to pieces, even as I call him the 'destroyer'. My husband and I are considering adoption, and I want another boy.

Posted by: MBBroad | April 7, 2008 8:53 AM | Report abuse

"I could easily become Momof12!!!"

Go for it, Momof5!

Posted by: DandyLion | April 7, 2008 8:57 AM | Report abuse

"How far would you go to have a child by gender?"

Nowhere. When my second son was born, we were asked frequently if we were going to try again for a girl.

We said, "no, we tried twice."

Posted by: cab91 | April 7, 2008 9:14 AM | Report abuse

I think it's human nature to want at least one of each sex.

That said, I really only wanted girls, mostly because I KNOW girls. I wanted my daughter to have a sister because I adore my sisters. So when I had twin girls, my husband thought we were done, but I did feel I missed a lot by having two at once. We had a third, assumed we'd have a girl (there are only girl grandchildren and lots of them) and had a boy! How could anyone miss out on having a boy! They are fabulous. So are my girls!

I do understand people who want one of each even though that wasn't me. But after the fact, I am happy I do have both sexes. I'd never actively try to have a different sex, though. I count myself incredibly lucky I have these three.

Posted by: Andrea | April 7, 2008 9:14 AM | Report abuse

I have boy/girl twins, and when I found out I was pregnant with my third child, I desperately wanted a girl. I don't know why, but I did.

When I saw that "teeny peeny" on ultrasound, I was devastated. The baby was a surprise in itself, but I was alright with it if it was a girl. When I found out it was another boy, I felt cold and sad inside.

I can't explain it, I just didn't want him. I wasn't excited about the pregnancy, never felt that connection or joy about it. Granted, I was under absolutely horrible stress at the time - hard to feel too much joy in general when some things are happening. But it was not good.

All of that changed the moment I saw him. After pushing out my twins, I was happy but too exhausted to really bond with them initially. When you only have one to push out - well, much nicer experience! And it was instantaneous adoration on my part.

I don't think I will ever need to admit to anyone how unplanned and unwanted this child was - but I did get very rude comments while pregnant that were extremely unhelpful. "You already have one of each - what do you need another for?" "What was this, an accident?" etc.

Suffice it to say that my second son is a blessing in every respect - and I can feel certain that G*d intended him for me. I certainly had nothing to do with it, except to go along with something I was certain was a disaster. I cannot imagine my life without all three of them exactly as they are.

Posted by: ugly admission, but true | April 7, 2008 9:33 AM | Report abuse

EIGHT kids - that father needs a hooker, not a mother rabbit.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 7, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

My husband waited until after the sonogram to admit we wanted a girl. We both felt the same: wanted a healthy baby but would prefer a girl. Luckily, that is what we got.

Posted by: 21117 | April 7, 2008 9:41 AM | Report abuse

How far would we go to determine/influence the sex of our children? Not one stinkin' inch. We got what we got.

Before marriage, I wanted two children, one of each, because I felt my life would somehow be emptier without a son and without a daughter. But I was willing to accept whatever happened.

We've been incredibly lucky. We had a daughter, then a son, then later on two more daughters. They're all healthy and doing extremely well.

(My wife always wanted four kids, because that's the size family in which she grew up. I wanted two. Guess who won? :-)

Posted by: ArmyBrat | April 7, 2008 10:10 AM | Report abuse

I was surprised when I had a girl after having a boy. Now I am more thankful then words can express. A daddy's girl is a blessing from heaven.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 7, 2008 10:10 AM | Report abuse

Actually, I do have to admit that when we got pregnant a second time, I wanted a boy. Partly for that "one of each" thing, but mostly because we knew the second baby we miscarried was a boy. I worried a little that another girl would remind of what I'd lost, of this empty place that was supposed to be filled. When the weenie showed up on the ultrasound, I surprised myself by crying; it was as if things were finally back to where they had been supposed to be all along.

And then my husband surprised me by being disappointed! Here I figured that Daddy would want a little mini-me -- but all he could say was, "but I just learned 'girl'!"

Posted by: Laura | April 7, 2008 10:27 AM | Report abuse

How shallow can you get if you prefer one sex over the other and 'keep trying for a boy/girl'. The sex of the child doesn't matter as long as it's healthy. Get over yourselves.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 7, 2008 10:33 AM | Report abuse

When we adopted our second girl from China, there were a couple of families there at the same time who had 2/3/4 boys and wanted to make sure they got a girl. That's one way to do it without bringing yet more kids into the world...just a thought!

Posted by: just brat | April 7, 2008 10:33 AM | Report abuse

I agree with 9:40 -- why don't they just put a cork in it?

Posted by: Anonymous | April 7, 2008 10:49 AM | Report abuse

Select for girls said: "PGD works only after fertilization. If the gender is not the desired gender, then one must consider terminating the pregnancy."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That's not correct. If the gender is not the desired gender, you don't transfer that particular embryo... no "pregnancy termination" is necessary since there is no pregnancy.

I did PDG, but not for gender selection. I did it due to chromosomal aneuploidy: between DD#1 and DD#2 I had 4 miscarriages in 12 months (and only 30 months separate my DDs in age). My eggs were old (even if I wasn't!) PGD was the way to screen for the complex multiple chromosomal abnormalities incompatible with life that caused my 4 m/c. I would have been happy with either gender, so long as the baby was born and healthy.

Indeed, two embies were deemed "healthy" through PGD to transfer: one boy and one girl. (The PGD results showed that all the other embies would have m/c if transferred...)

Until our first sono at 7 weeks, we were preparing for b/g twins. Only one embie implanted and we had to wait several more months to learn which one. I was beyond thrilled to learn it was another daughter.


Posted by: Anonymous | April 7, 2008 10:50 AM | Report abuse

I'm pregnant with my first now, and won't find out the gender for another three weeks. I feel so clueless about the pregnancy and parenthood that I can't wait to find out the gender so I can have something "real" to hold onto for the next five months. My husband and I both kind of want a boy, but not for any real reason. We agree more on a boy's name than a girl's, there are a ton of little girls in my family already, stuff like that. We'll be thrilled with either gender and would never take steps to ensure one gender over the other. Babies are gifts enough, regardless of gender.

Posted by: dcrachel | April 7, 2008 11:22 AM | Report abuse

I am a single Mom, we broke up before I told him I was pregnant. Anyways, I always-always-always pictured myself with a little girl. Had a amniocentesis test at 20 weeks and was devestated to find out it was a boy.
My brother Mark brought me around when he said I was blessed to have a boy who would grow into a man who would take care of his mother.
I absolutely adore my son and think often of what my brother told me.

Posted by: Nancy in Dallas TX | April 7, 2008 11:23 AM | Report abuse

I've always said that I don't care, because I like little boys and little girls. Then I had to have a D&C for a miscarriage that wouldn't solve itself, and now I really don't care.

Posted by: KateNonymous | April 7, 2008 11:49 AM | Report abuse

I am the youngest of three--and the only girl. My mom says she didn't care either way (in fact, I think she kind of wanted a third boy), but my dad was thrilled beyond belief when I came out! I just love hearing that story--that my dad couldn't keep his eyes off me, and that I was the much anticipated girl he'd always wanted. I hope to have the same, or at least one boy before a girl. I love having older brothers, and would want the same for my kids. But I certainly wouldn't take any steps to ensure it.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 7, 2008 11:53 AM | Report abuse

I have one of each. Will admit that I had a preference for a girl the first time and she was (wouldn't have been too disappointed if it hadn't been). Didn't know which I preferred for #2. Found at at the u/s that the baby had a problem with one kidney (never developed properly) and that it was a boy. Thankfully, we need only one good kidney to live and he's fine, but will be followed by a urologist for many years. Now, before someone's big ultrasound, I wish only for a healthy baby. With all of the horrible diseases out there and possibilities for babies to be unhealthy, it sickens me that people would sit and gripe about gender of their child. Tell it to the infertile couples, those who have had miscarriages, or who have lost children to horrible diseases. You'll get zero sympathy from them or me.

Posted by: jill | April 7, 2008 11:56 AM | Report abuse

My wife and I wanted to have a family with several kids. I was afraid of having a boy because due to my handicap I wouldn't be able to do a lot of the physical activities with him such as playing catch, soccer, football, tennis...

I was lucky to have 2 girls first, then 2 boys. Perfect! The older girls love helping out and playing with the boys. Great!

If it happened any other way though, I would be just as happy.

Posted by: DandyLion | April 7, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

I agree with those who have pointed out that those of us who struggled to have kids at all are probably less interested in gender. I love the commentary from MBBroad - I also am getting help expanding my view of womanhood from my girliest-of-girls daughter. This tomboy *never* saw it coming! And it fits in with what I think of parenthood - teaches me so much and hands me humility every day (in such a good way). My brother, btw, has 3 boys and then a girl (and they would have been fine with either b or g) and their doc told them the more you have of one gender the lower your chances of having the other. Their odds for #4 being a girl were 11% -- I can't imagine how low they are at #8! Also funny, my bro lived in a small town in NH and when their neighbors found out they were having a girl, they threw a baby shower where they collected everyone's used Barbies and bequeathed them on my SIL. People *are* pretty invested in gender....

Posted by: MamaBird/SurelyYouNest | April 7, 2008 12:13 PM | Report abuse

I have two sisters (I'm in the middle) and we were not the best of friends or all that other Halmark stuff. We got along, but only after we all moved out. When I was pregnant I wanted a boy because of all the drama my sisters and I created at home. I received a girl...and I could not be happier. YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED.

Posted by: glt79 | April 7, 2008 12:14 PM | Report abuse

"I think it's human nature to want at least one of each sex."

Maybe more like American, or Western culture nature...in a lot of parts of the world, this is just not true...

Posted by: CJB | April 7, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

As we're adopting, we get to choose the gender and we are choosing a girl. Next time we'll choose a boy. But if we have kids biologically, we won't try to "choose" the gender.

Posted by: irishgator1 | April 7, 2008 12:30 PM | Report abuse

Story 1 (funny) - Brother-in-law has 2 boys by wife no 1. Then has 2 boys by my sister. When youngest was 5 months she got pregnant again. When he saw the blue line he wanted to know if that meant another boy. Daughter is now 18.

Story 2 (sad)- During World War II wife gets pregnant. Husband is overseas. Everything is going fine. Wife has baby. When she is told she has a healthy girl she suddenly dies. There is nothing they can determine as the cause. Father comes home on leave, makes arrangements for the baby and goes back to unit. He never has anything to do with the baby after. Many years later the grandmother (mother's mom) finds letters from the husband to her daughter. In all them them he keeps telling her she HAD BETTER HAVE A BOY.

Posted by: Liz | April 7, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

Maybe I am in the minority. But I desperately wanted a girl the first time. Both my husband and I wanted a girl the first time. I was on cloud nine when the sonogram revealed it was a girl. I went right out and bought her a doll. Second child was a little different. I really did not have a strong feeling either way. I had the little girl that I dreamed of and she is very feminine. But my hasband wanted a boy very badly. His family has 23 great grand children and they are all girls. So everyone was betting on a boy child from a boy grand son to carry on the family name. My husband loves our daughter to pieces but really wanted to enjoy "boy" activities with a child. So I found out gender as early as 10 weeks because we did the CVS test. It said "boy." I actually surprised myself by wishing it was another girl. More out of practicality. We already had 4 years worth of very girly girl clothes, dolls, toys, and stuff. I actually think it is easier to have kids of the same gender for hand me down purposes. But I had a sonogram at 20 weeks and was still holding out that maybe the test was wrong and I was having a girl. But right on the screen it was soo obvious it was a boy. So I am happy that in deed he is healthy. But I still have trouble envisioning raising a son. But I also have a hard time seeing us as a family of four when we have been a family of three for so long. I am sure no matter what your preconceived notions are, you are generally happy with any healthy baby.

Posted by: foamgnome | April 7, 2008 1:20 PM | Report abuse

Liz: Following up on your WWII story, my older sister was born in early 1943 while Dad was stationed in Englad. He didn't get home until early 1946 so she was almost 3, walking and talking before he ever saw her. She thought every soldier she saw in uniform was her dad because he sent photos of himself and buddies at the air base. He did send packages of baby clothes from England and a carved locket with her initial on it (which she still has) through the 3 years before he got home. Mom even saved the letters addressed to the baby from Dad. I'm sure a son would have been loved just as much and gifts and letters would have come for him. At least that's how my Dad felt about it.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 7, 2008 1:35 PM | Report abuse

It seems to me that if sex selection was so important to this couple that they've now had NINE children (and one miscarriage), they really ought to consider adoption.

Posted by: Tom T. | April 7, 2008 1:59 PM | Report abuse

You know, I wanted a girl (and that is what I got) but would not have cared, really, if I had had a boy. I just "know" girls. I really just wanted a healthy baby and was glad to have received that as well.

That said, we rec'd some really idiotic and disgusting comments like "are you upset about the results?" (umm, should I be?), "Sorry it wasn't a boy" (Did I fail at something?), "guess you'll have to wait until next time to get that boy", etc. and on and on. It's like peoples' brains switch to stupid when they see a preganant woman. How I got through 40 weeks with people telling me what I should/shouldn't eat, touching my belly and commenting things like "you look like you're ready to EXPLODE!!" . . . without slapping people is a mystery to me. But, I digress . . .

Posted by: Jen | April 7, 2008 2:17 PM | Report abuse

For the first, I really didn't care. For my second pregnancy, I'll admit that I wanted my daughter to have the experience of having a sister, but for myself, I really didn't care one way or the other. Well, turns out we are having one of each this time. I feel like we're very lucky.

My husband is always really surprised when people ask him if he's super excited to be having a son. Actually, it ticks him off pretty badly, because it calls into questions the feelings he has about our daughters. Plus, our DD is just as into "boy" stuff (sports, tools, etc) as any boy. I know DH will be playing baseball with her just as soon as she's ready.

Posted by: va | April 7, 2008 3:49 PM | Report abuse

"That said, we rec'd some really idiotic and disgusting comments like"

Oh yeah- I've had such awful comments about the fact that I'm having twins that I just don't tell people anymore. People can be such clods sometimes! Do people really think "oh, no!" or "how awful!" is an appropriate response to finding out someone is having twins?

Posted by: va | April 7, 2008 3:54 PM | Report abuse

I got lucky, I guess, I have 2 children, one female, one male. That said, unless you are at risk for having a child with a serious sex linked genetic problem, I don't believe in selecting for gender. One need only look to societies that currently practice gender selection on a large scale to see just how unbalanced the male to female ratio can become in just one short generation.

Posted by: CRF | April 7, 2008 4:25 PM | Report abuse

"My husband says no but he's been saying that for a long time -- I just don't listen."
My God, talk about a screwed up marriage! Communication, anyone?

Posted by: Silver Spring | April 7, 2008 4:31 PM | Report abuse

I see nothing wrong with "really wanting" a particular gendered child. I think most parents want children who are genetically appropriate, heterosexual, high intelligent, vanilla clones.

As long as the "really wanting" does not translate into "unable to be a good parent if it doesn't turn out like I want."

But there is something distasteful about actively working towards that desire- it really shows that for them creating a "family" is much more about how they want life to be rather than fostering a good environment for the child to become its own person.

My sister broke the rule- we were an all female matriarchy for a few generations and now she's gone and had two boys. We all wanted girls, but hey, they are perfect angels so who cares now!

Posted by: Liz D | April 7, 2008 4:36 PM | Report abuse

My Mom is momof12. I have 10 sisters and 1 brother. They had 9 girls, 1 boy, 2 more girls. I don't think they tried to have a boy, just Catholic. I have 3, boy, girl, boy. Given the number of sisters I have, I didn't really want a girl, but I have really enjoyed having the daughter. She's a lot easy to talk to than my sons, especially now that she 20 and through her teenage years. I got a huge number of insensitive and stupid comments while pregnant with my 3rd, all previously mentioned here. It would help if people would engage their brains before speaking.

Posted by: 11th of 12 | April 8, 2008 7:52 AM | Report abuse

My SIL REALLY wanted a girl -- so she could dress her up in frilly outfits, and take her to cheerleading and help her get into the right sorority in college.

The problem with that scenario of course is that the child might refuse to cooperate. She might decide she wants to wear jeans and do the pre-engineering curriculum at our local school and go to MIT (which I don't believe has sororities. I might be wrong about this).

Usually parents who really want a child of a particular sex have really strong gender stereotypes at the base of this (Junior is going to play football and Priscilla is going to stay in the kitchen and bake with Mommy). It doesn't seem entirely fair to the kids.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 8, 2008 9:25 AM | Report abuse

I am lucky enough to have 13 cousins, and the most of us are very close. Together, my cousins and I have a total of nine boys under 6. My son is 2. Our family's baby boom has been very exciting for our whoel family, except for now our parents are pushing us (their daughters and daughters in law) to be the one to have the first girl (!!!) The pressure is on, and we can't help but feel like our sons aren't wonderful enough. We have fun boy holidays, Easter was spent running through dirt with trucks and full contact easter egg hunts. Loads of fun, but there were plenty of comments about who would be "up" to having THE girl. I have had one miscarriage trying for my second child and I think now, my mother would really be happy with a grandaughter, but I would be happy to just have another healthy baby.

Posted by: plannermom | April 8, 2008 9:34 AM | Report abuse

I have two children one girl and one boy. I would like to recommend two books I really enjoyed reading recently. Both edited by Andrea J. Buchanan. The first published in 2005, titled, It's a Boy. This book is a group of essays from women writers on having a boy. The second book, published in 2006, titled, It's a Girl. This one features essays from women writers on raising daughters.

I found the books moving, poignant and laugh out loud funny. It really spoke to my experience of having a boy and having a girl. And all the issues raised here in this blog were raised there.

I am not the author but coincidentally had just finished reading both books. Perhaps others might enjoy them too.

Posted by: montgomery village md mom | April 8, 2008 12:04 PM | Report abuse

I was deemed "unfair" for only having two children - two boys. My now-ex wanted a girl - I said I would go for three if I could stay home from work and not live in proverty. He did nothing to make that happen; did not have baby three. he moved on to a younger woman.. had his third boy.. and now trying one more time for the fourth.. hoping for a girl. In the meantime I'm hearing he can't afford college for the first two kids he had - even a community college.. Say what?? Obessiveness over having a girl; takes away reasoning for taking care of the kids you already have.

Posted by: cynst | April 8, 2008 12:22 PM | Report abuse

> Select for girls said: "PGD works
> only after fertilization. If the
> gender is not the desired gender,
> then one must consider terminating
> the pregnancy."
>
> That's not correct. If the gender
> is not the desired gender, you
> don't transfer that particular
> embryo... no "pregnancy termination"
> is necessary since there is no
> pregnancy.

I was referring to those persons who have religious beliefs along the lines of "a fertilized egg equals a human life" - those people would view the non-transfer of a fertilized embryo as the termination of a pregnancy, which would then violate their religious beliefs. Sperm sorting, on the other hand, operates prior to fertilization, thus even the people who think life begins at fertilization should be okay with it, even when they have religious objections to the PIGD process.

Posted by: Select for girls :-) | April 8, 2008 1:46 PM | Report abuse

Actually 9:25 am, MIT does have sororities. Its just a smaller group than the fraternity system since the school is majority male.

For my first pregnancy, I wanted a girl. Mostly because I was freaked out enough about the whole pregnancy/motherhood experience to want to have to have a boy that I have no idea what to do with. I got a girl. For my second, I didn't care that much, or so I thought. When they said it was a boy, I was sort of scared about having to play boy games and such, but so far so good. Now I just call him Mr. Destruction haha. The think I like least about having a boy is having to get all new clothes for him. I wish they made more gender nuetral clothes - even the girl's jeans have pink on them it seems.

Posted by: Bethmom | April 11, 2008 9:39 AM | Report abuse

ADOPTION! I know others have mentioned it here and there, but there are so many children in this world who need someone to care for them.
My mom gave birth to three beautiful daughters and then adopted two sons. I love my brothers like crazy and my sisters and i are were all still young enough when they were adopted that we don't really remember life without them so they've always been just like the rest of us.
I have a daughter now and if my husband and i end up with only daughters, I'd like to adopt a son. I completely understand that people want to create a child that has the genes and qualities of themselves, but if you've already done that and are just having more children to try to get the right gender, please consider adopting.

Posted by: lia | April 11, 2008 11:03 AM | Report abuse

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