Tallies are in for January

293 posters contributed a total of 834 comments to OnParenting for the month of January 2009.

Top 12 posters listed below:

15 jbs280
15 SueMc
16 interestingidea1234
16 pwaa
18 newsahm
20 moxiemom1
23 laura33
25 WhackyWeasel
27 atlmom1234
27 WorkingMomX
34 ArmyBrat1
42 jezebel3

Brian, you just deal. Seriously. It sucks, yes. But lots of things suck, all the time. Why should we have thought that we are so special that we would be shielded from hard times? Are we really that spoiled, that pampered, that an economic downturn sends us all crying to mommy or needing a therapist? Or are we all just so caught up in the 24-hr news cycle?

Seriously, you think no one else has ever had to deal with this before? I'm "only" 42. And yet I have very clear memories of the 70s stagflation -- and of the Reagan recession that followed, when you went from standing in line for gas to standing in line at the unemployment office, when house prices dropped 20-30% and -- even in the days before piggyback loans and subprime borrowers -- people were losing their houses. This is nothing new. It happens regularly. All. The. Time.

Yes, the economy sucks. Things aren't fun and light and free and easy. But you know what? They haven't been for a lot of people for a long time. And you don't deal with it by whining or giving in to the panic and obsession. You grow up, grow a pair, put your boots on, put your head down, go to work (if your job is still there), be thankful for what you do have, and do your best to look after yourself, your family, and your friends and neighbors.

Well you find whatever semblance of a positive attitude works for you...
For some people its a toughen up attitude that gets them through. But that's just about suriviving, living well is about being happy as often as possible. You can do this on the cheap, by helping out other people. Credit report not required, and the reward is a sense of gratitude and connection. Turns out that it's kinda nice when your sense of significance isn't tied to the model of car you drive, or how nice your kitchen remodel turned out. Other cheap things you can do that make you feel glad to be alive, a nice walk in the park, books from the library, family, friends, pets, baking bread, music, learning something new, etc.
I live in Galveston, TX, and pretty much every third person I know has ended up homeless thanks to Hurricane Ike. So we've been hit by both and economic and a natural disaster in the last five months. People who are doing well, in spite of it all, are those who are getting involved, making new friends,enjoying what they have, cultivating a better sense of humor, and thinking towards the future and how they can make it better.

I agree laura - call your parents and ask them what they did in the 70s.

Or are we all just so caught up in the 24-hr news cycle?

Posted by: laura33 | February 4, 2009 9:30 AM | Report abuse

This is exactly it. We'd have a shot at pulling out of this without too much more pain if the media would stop the constant doom-and-gloom crap. All it's doing is getting people to stop spending money, and that's the worst thing for the economy. All this "belt-tightening" by people who don't really need to do it is killing things. Obviously if you've lost your job, you need to cut back your spending. But a lot of people still have good, fairly secure jobs and they need to keep spending normally. But every time you turn on the TV or the computer you see more stuff about "another great depression is coming", it just causes people to cut back more and exacerbates the problem.

Honestly, except for people who have lost their jobs, most people I know are still going about their business. Yes, they are talking a big line about being worried but it seems more hype than reality.

I think people were spending wildly before the crisis. I am actually glad that people have tightened the belt a little. It was getting out of hand.

There is going to be a sharp correction (in housing and in the market). In the end, I think we will prevail. Yes, we will loose jobs and stores. For the people who lost their jobs, I have a lot of sympathy. But I think we had too many stores anyway.

Yes, people have always just survived. This generation is not different. If it helps to see a therapist, by all means go for it. At least it will keep them employed.

The economy worries me only in the sense that I am concerned about losing my job. We have had a layoff here. Sales aren't near the forecast. A layoff of me would result in serious financial hardship. My DH does not make enough money to pay our basic bills let alone any child support. Hopefully his ex would return our prior generosity and allow us to reduce our payments. This would let us limp along on our pitiful savings for a couple of months.

It also worries me because we are seeing the effects of the economy on DH's job. He has gotten told a couple of times to not come into work that day because they don't have work for him. Better than a straight lay-off like others in the company but still a concern.

We had never really gotten into a spending spree because we never had the money to begin with. We purchased a few durable goods (like a bed) and our cars over the last couple of years and that is it. We are working on paying off our car loans and should get rid of one by the end of the year. Next step... pay off other car loan... next step... better savings.

Hopefully the economy is not counting on our help to rebound. We weren't planning on contributing much to the economy over the next couple of years while we reduce our debt load.

Handling the current financial climate is challenging; however, the important thing to remember is that you don’t have to do it alone. There are non-profit credit counseling agencies, such as Consolidated Credit Counseling Services (http://www.consolidatedcredit.org), which provides budgeting analysis for parents looking to cut back on their expenses. There are forum groups on popular websites like BabyCenter.com (http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a13235/tightwad_mamas) where moms can get tips on saving money. National Domestic Violence Hotline (http://www.ndvh.org) at 1-800-799-SAFE is available to help families deal with their financial stress and avoid taking that stress out on their families. These are just the few resources that are available to parents struggling in today’s economy.

Well, I'm probably a little weird (actually a lot, but anyway), but I see a lot of positives as a parent during tough financial times. I've never had a lot of money, and because of that, my children learned a lot about dealing with money, doing without and living within your means. Both of them have a lot more respect for money, and hard work, than their more privileged friends.

Now, it would be tough if I were at risk of losing my job or home (knock on wood), and that would translate to stress. The rest - the belt-tightening - should be a good thing.

Every time these lousy-economy topics come up, I just feel grateful. My employer is that rarest of things these days, a major financial services company that is in good shape. (I just found out last week that the Chairman of the Board was swearing at the gov't when they forced the TARP money on the company. I knew he never wanted any bail-out because it wasn't needed, but, come on, Chairpersons and CEOs are usually too well-controlled for that sort of language and behavior.)

Yesterday I got the good news that the system I work on has been chosen as the "go-forward" system for the merger we're going through. So, my job is safe, and I'm going to be quite busy for the next 2-3 years, probably including training my counterparts from the other side of the merger.

I'm sorry for the folks who don't have it as good as I do. I have been unemployed, and it is hard to deal with all the emotions, while dealing with the harsh reality of little or no money coming in.

But I can keep paying my mortgage, keep the lights on and food on the table. We have a laundry list of things we wanted and planned to do, but can't now - like building a recording studio in the garage before the bank cut the limit on our home equity line of credit - but I can keep taking care of my family, and that's enough to make me happy.

As mentioned above - yes the economy is a little tough - but seriously - it's all those channels that have been calling it a crisis. If everything were so great...well...who would watch? You only watch when there's 'something to watch' - and well...when they declare a 'crisis' then you watch.
It's that simple.
So, yes, things are tough - but it's not affecting us in the least. We save A LOT of money. We spend what we have - not what we don't have. So we don't take on debt and we don't worry if the paycheck goes away - that's why we save our money.
Other people seem to think completely the opposite - and those are the people who are really worrying. The ones with loans they could hardly pay when they had jobs.
We overpay substantially on our mortgage so that we have very little debt on our house - so even if we had to sell today, we'd be fine. We don't have car loans. We don't have student loans. We pay our credit cards every month. We save a LOT of money - retirement, short term savings, long term savings, we have a side business. But most people it seems want to have everything all at once - HD tvs, cell phones with expensive plans, cable with all the channels, the nicest kitchens the biggest cars, the best vacations. We don't do any of those things. There are few more frugal than us...
and yet, when the deal shows itself - well, just say we had a great vacation in December. I don't buy all those little trinkets for the kids wherever we go, we don't sign the kids up for every after school activity, we don't take them to every movie that comes out, etc.

I think this may be an opportunity for all of us to learn how to appreciate the simpler things in life. How we as adults choose to handle our fear and anxiety will impact our kids the most. Kids need to know that even though things may not be the way we want them to be right now, we will get through, because we have each other. Use this as an opportunity to coach kids on how to be resilient. Empower yourself and your kids by helping others. We are all in this together!

My late parents would be astounded at how people are whining about this admittedly bad recession. See, they spent their teen/young adult years living through the Great Depression and really knew what being poor or having to do without meant. We are not there yet, not by a long shot. And, if we are lucky and the Powers That Be make the right decisions, we won't go that far down. Let's hope and pray that they do make the right decisions.

In the meantime, we have to do our part. We have to start--or continue--to spend less, save more, be content with what we have rather than coveting what we don't have, and in general use good financial sense. That is something that has been seriously lacking in our society for many, many years now.

My sympathy is extended to those who have lost or who are about to lose their jobs. Nothing is more frightening than to have no income and lots of bills to pay--and when you have children, that makes it even more frightening. They are not able to do without good food, shelter, medical care, etc., and grow up strong and ready to join the workforce. More and more families are facing this nightmare.

i agree with so many sentiments here (that can also apply well beyond the topic of our bad economy).

TURN OFF THE 24 HR NEWS CHANNELS AND PRESERVE YOUR SANITY!!!!

lsturt: yup...my grandmother sometimes had a dinner of bread with oil. That's what they had - they were very poor.
Contrast that with many people who still have cable, their daily latte, their cell phone, their DVR, blahblahblah.
To even think we are anywhere near there is surprising.

1. i disagree. i think cable news channels have done a good job downgrading the severity of what is happening. You can still see the odd segment asking the question: 'Are We Really in a Recession?' They are run by corporate entities who have a lot of vested interest in trying to retain the status quo. WaPo, i'm looking in your direction.

2. atlmom1234: lah-dee-frickin-dah. you did everything right in life and seems you've been waiting for this 'i told you so moment.' A lot of us have to assume a debt load to get an education and have decent wheels in order to contribute our talents. if/when the s**t really hits the fan, you'll be sinking and living on squirrel meat like the rest of us. sleep well.

atlmom1234, you are right--we still have what really poor people consider luxuries and thus are nowhere near the situation of the Great Depression. Bread and oil or margarine for supper was better than nothing at all for supper, and we are not doing that yet. Sugar sandwiches? I heard about them--sprinkle a scant teaspoon of sugar on a slice of bread and dig in. I'm really glad we aren't there.