Jade Goody's Mission: Her Sons

Jade Goody with sons Bobby and Freddie in 2006. (Getty Images)

Jade Goody captivated many on "Big Brother," a reality TV show in Britain, and in her battle with cervical cancer, which she eventually lost. On Saturday, her family -- and nation -- buried her. Jade's focus -- both in life and as she neared death -- was her children, Bobby and Freddie. Her goal upon hearing of her terminal diagnosis was to take care of the boys.

In the months leading up to her death, Jade was "racked with worry about how Bobby and Freddie would cope without her around," wrote The Mirror's Alison Phillips. "I worry so much about what will happen to my kids if I'm not here -- where they'll go to school and what they will be like," Jade told Phillips. And so, in the weeks leading up to her death, Jade Goody obsessively worked to earn enough money to pay for her sons' private school fees. In the end, she left 4.3 million pounds in a trust for the boys.

A week before her death, Jade told her sons, ages 5 and 4, that she would be dying soon.

"I never, ever want to leave you because I love you so much. I wish I could stay -- but I can't ... You may not be able to see me anymore but you will feel me with you always. Just think of me and I'll be with you. ... When you look up in the sky and see the brightest star, that's me looking down on you and loving you for always."

She gave them friendship bracelets to rub when they needed her. There's a memory box for the boys packed with her perfume, letters and a diary of her last days. And a book released this week, "Jade: Remember Me This Way," is a photo album of Jade with her sons. "Just make my memory live on for my boys," Jade had told the two photographers who worked on the book project.

At Goody's request, her children did not attend her funeral. Instead, they marked the day in their own private way. They drew pictures of their mom, wrote her notes and put them in a bottle. They then launched the bottle off in the ocean. In addition, they sent her a letter in their "Mummy" funeral bouquet:

According to MyParkMagazine, the letter read: "Please speak to God and ask him to make the clouds go away on holiday because we can't see the stars. We love you very much and speak about you every day, we know you are with us when we play on the beach, eat our dinner and even when we are colouring in pictures for you, we know we can talk to you and you'll hear us. You are always thoughts and in our hearts mum, we are proud of you and you'll never be forgotten. We miss you, love your little men, Bobby and Freddie."

Jade taught so many lessons in the last months of her life. One of the saddest is how to parent even in death. If you were terminally ill, what would you want for your children? How would you want them to remember you?

By Stacey Garfinkle | April 8, 2009; 7:00 AM ET | Category: Relationships
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Comments

We are all terminally ill. We should work every day on memories for our spouses, children and others who love us.

Posted by: anonymous_one | April 8, 2009 8:10 AM | Report abuse

I would want an opportunity to say goodbye, to prepare them, and to be a role model for coping with things we cannot control.

I want them to remember me as I am, but viewed kindly, as if through rose-colored glasses.

Posted by: anonfornow | April 8, 2009 9:59 AM | Report abuse

I am in tears just thinking about this. At least the family had a chance to say good-bye.

Posted by: ishgebibble | April 9, 2009 9:19 AM | Report abuse

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