blah..blah..blah..all of these are EXCUSES and what's wrong with many parents (and people in general).
Take some RESPONSIBILITY...and be ACCOUNTABLE. Now that would be a novel example for your kids.
YOU "trusted" 3 young kids to 2 12 year olds.
Here's the kickers -
"I told the older girls the rules. They could not leave the younger kids unsupervised....Natalie and her friend decided to try on some shirts and left the three younger kids in the purse section by the cosmetics counter—which, it’s true, was against the rules that I had laid out for them."
Were the 12 year olds held accountable / responsible for violating the rules?

"maybe in my at-times-frantic daily juggling act, I had lost the ability to care for my children."
YES = neglect.

Yes. Will agree that the "young" "police" "officers" (ie.., mall security guards) probably overreacted (and the judge..and attorneys). But that seems to be the norm these days and should be expected from any pseudo-official, legal representative.

She says herself, "The exhaustion of being a working mother while trying to raise a wonderful family had caught up with me."
Interesting, to me at least, that the first description of herself is as a "working mother"...not as a mom trying to raise a family...sorry, this says a lot about priorities.

Yes, I have some sympathy...but not much.

I am horrified by this woman's lapse in judgment. How on earth can she even try to defend her actions? Who in their right mind would drop five young children off at a mall and just leave them there? I wouldn't leave two 12-year-olds unsupervised at a mall, let alone expect them to watch three younger children. Whatever happened to taking kids to playgrounds or having them play in your yard while you are nearby, if not right there with them? It is time for people to realize that malls are venues for shopping, not free babysitting services. This nut is just lucky that none of the kids were kidnapped, injured or killed.

If this story involved only the 7 & 8 year olds, I'd be very sympathetic. Leaving a pair of 12-year-olds in charge in a public place would have been judgmentally suspect, but not too bad.

But a 3-year-old? Yikes. That's where she crossed the line. I don't care how tired she was, it's just ridiculous to expect a pre-teen to look after a preschooler in a mall.

I am somewhat sympathetic to the "I'm sooooo tired excuse." I have far less on my plate than this woman does, and I have days when I'd love to believe that my 12-year-old neighbor is mature enough to watch the girls alone for a few hours. But tiredness can't trump rationality, and what this woman did was clearly out of bounds.

Perhaps placing the 12 year old in charge of the dog, cat, hamster and fish (instead of the child) would have lessened the exhaustion of all that thinking and wondering...

(and thanks for not taking the judith warner route and casting this woman as victim)

(and one wonders why only the fish was worthy of mention by name?)

hmmmm..maybe I would let a 7 and 8 year old with responsible 12 year olds. But a 3 year old??? Not a chance.

Bridget's words at the conclusion of the article:

[
For all the times that I was not the “good” parent, I am guilty; for all the times that I did not respond perfectly to my children’s needs, I am guilty.
For all the times that I’ve not given them enough of me, I am guilty. For feeling constantly torn between so many daily demands, trying to make it all
work, but knowing that I sometimes fall short, I am guilty.

But of knowingly putting my children in harm’s way by letting them go to the mall alone? Not guilty.
[

So for all those ranting and raving that what Bridget did was clearly out of bounds, um, uh, it seems to me that what she did was clearly acceptable as determined by a jury of her peers under the court of law.

Coming soon on the OP blog: We will take turns bashing the helicopter and overprotective parent.

Ok, just read her defense, and I've gone from mildly sympathetic to wishing they'd thrown the book at her. Talk about lacking any sense of self-awareness or responsibility.

In the course of the article, she blames everyone and everything for what happened, except herself:

It's the mall's fault: They don't expressly prohibit leaving kids alone there.

It's the security guard's fault: they were young, and they wouldn't let her explain.

It's my daughter's fault: she asked to go to the mall, and she broke the rules.

It's the store employees' fault: They didn't even know how old the kids were.

It's the pets' fault: that hamster takes a ton of time, you know!

It's the prosecutor's fault: she hates me because I'm educated! And because she's a mom, too.

It's society's fault: I'm an "outsider," so they don't like me!

It's Bozeman's fault -- these small-town provincials are so uptight!

It's EVERYBODY's fault: If they'd just chosen to ignore what happened, everything would have been fine! Even worse, they all seem to think leaving small kids at the mall alone is a BAD thing or something. Fools!

"I believed then and continue to believe today that the girls were aware and responsible enough to handle their younger siblings."

Huh? The girls messed up big time and obviously weren't responsible enough to handle any kid at the time.

newsahm - well said! The "hamster defense"! Perfect!

Just out of curiosity, I looked up legal standards for leaving a child alone. Maryland is one of the few states that has one. A child of 8 or younger may be left at home under the supervision of someone 13 or older. So what this lady did would have definitely be illegal here.

In reading the article from the magazine, I was really put off by how many times she said that there wasn't a law against it or there wasn't a sign at the mall saying not to drop off unsupervised children there. This reminds me of the time that I looked away for a second and my then-4-year-old climbed onto a display and fell at the mall and cut himself and had have stitches. He kept saying that there wasn't a sign that said No Climbing -- because he was 4!!! "No sign" is not a plausible excuse for an adult!

This also made me think, what if I had left him at the mall with a couple of 12-year-olds and he fell. Would they have known what to do?

The other thing is that irks me about this story is that this lady wants to play the working mom card and that is just not a valid excuse. Plenty of people manage to hold a job and take care of their kids without getting arrested. She is just looking for a "poor me" defense because she's too arrogant to admit that she did something stupid and indefensible.

Ugh, this just doesn't make sense. What person leaves their 12 y-o children to walk the mall alone, let alone take younger children (including an infant)! Thankfully the security officers did stop it. How would she have felt if a bad person had noticed that only 12 y-o children were watching the younger children (and then only sometimes) and decided to try to kidnap or molest/hurt one of the other children? Completely stupid and inappropriate.

NEWSAHM got it right, this lady's justifications are stupid. Apparently everybody else was at fault but she was justified in what she did because she wanted to teach her children indepence and she was tired. Cry me a river!

I don't know if I can comment on whether or not she should have done what she did. I don't know the people or the place. I have to say that I would probably leave my 4yo with a 12 year old in a public place but it wouldn't likely happen with my 7 year old. He is a handful and not likely to be mindful. But it is my job to trust my instincts with my children and not go around discussing what someone else should have done or not done with their own children which they know significantly better than I do.

What I did find interesting is that the other parents had absolutely no issue with what Bridget did. She called and asked their permission first. So if we she did was completely and totally boneheaded - why did the other parent(s) agree and why weren't they charged? She didn't make this decision alone yet she bore the consequences of it alone.

Having said that... I had an issue with her reasons behind it. It is one thing for her to say... the kids wanted to do this, I felt the children were responsible enough, the other parents didn't have a problem and so went ahead and did it. But to go into how tired and blah blah blah that she was so she made this decision - not so into that as a reasoning behind why she did what she did. This isn't the kind of decision you make because you are tired.

But even so.... is this child neglect worthy of a potential jail sentence? They weren't being starved, locked in a closet, given drugs, sexually or physically abused or prostituted. With all the children that are being seriously neglected, I think the judicial system's resources could have been better served helping the children truly in need rather than prosecuting a parent that made an error in judgment.

I would be less judgemental about this if she had just said, "yeah, that was really boneheaded, but it seemed like a good idea at the time." I'm sooo sick of the "but I'm sooo busy" defense, as if the parent had no part in making the decisions that lead to being that busy in the first place! If you are too busy to take care of your kids, then it's time to cut back, not just punt and then say you were too tired to do it.

The question, to me, is whether she was engaged enough with her kids to realize that her older daughter was not ready for this much responsability. I also can't believe that she maintains the girls were mature enough to handle the situation. If they had been, none of this would have even been an issue. Honestly, I believe that two RESPONSABLE 12-year olds should have been able to handle this. They left the little kids alone in the mall! What exactly were the people at macy's supposed to do- just ignore the situation? I think they may have had a legal obligation to call police- when I worked with kids, I know that if I saw signs of child neglect (and kids under 8 left alone in the mall qualifies), I was required to report it. I just can't believe that a 12 year old wouldn't know that you don't leave a freaking three year old alone at the mall while you go to the dressing room. Maybe my expectations are too high, but I don't think so.

It actually does make me worry a bit about leaving my kids with a babysitter- if the sitter screws up, am I then legally responsable?

"So for all those ranting and raving that what Bridget did was clearly out of bounds, um, uh, it seems to me that what she did was clearly acceptable as determined by a jury of her peers under the court of law"

Wasn't it a mock jury? From the article it says she worked a deferred prosecution and started her service because she knew she would not withstand a trial.

Well, guess I'm in the minority, then, because this doesn't seem to me to be charge-worthy. I have an 8 and 3-yr-old; we know a 12-yr-old down the street who is teaching them swimming. The older two certainly seem competent enough to manage the younger one for an hour or two. Would I drop them all off at the mall? No. But I live in Baltimore, not Bozema. Apples and oranges.

Kids are different, towns are different. I was on my own after school by 7-8, babysitting by 11-12, responsible and reliable. But then again, I lived in the small-town midwest, where that was all normal; kids were expected to look after themselves. My daughter, on the other hand, is quite a bit more impulsive, a little more immature -- and we live in a much different area and time. So it'll be a while before I leave her on her own, or let her babysit her brother.

The whole story looks like there's a lot more going on here. The town vs. gown thing can be really, really strong, especially in these rural areas -- and she's a "foreigner" to boot. So she started off with two strikes against her.

Laura, Live your life as a "foreigner" and you will be treated as one. What evidence, other that this woman's victimology stmts. shows that she was treated as a "foreigner" in her community? You have just disparaged everyone in this small town, esp the Police and Prosecutor. This lady has had a hard time defending herself and I suspect it is for a reason.

I have a 12-year-old (and trained babysitter) and have no problem letting her do things on her own (as long as she can reach me in an emergency). Nor would I worry if she was babysitting a younger child. BUT I do not allow her to run around town unsupervised with friends nor would I encourage her to babysit with friends.

Has anyone else observed that tweens can be very responsible on their own but far less responsible when among their peers?! I wonder if that wasn't part of the problem at the mall.

I agree with laura33. Bozeman isn't the Balto/Wash area. It was a trip to the local mall, with all of the parents in agreement with the planned activity.

: Free Range Kids' Lenore Skenazy writes about why she believes Bridget Kevane did nothing wrong."

oh great our resident idiot will chime in on why 3 year olds should be left with 12 year olds on their own. This women is an accident waiting to happen......

"Has anyone else observed that tweens can be very responsible on their own but far less responsible when among their peers?!"

Bingo, two 12 year olds left a 3, 7 and 8 year old unattended.

My 11 year old is pretty responsible, but I wouldn't allow her and a friend to take a 3 year plus 2 other children to the mall - even if it was in Perfect Town USA.

Well, cheeky, I've lived in various small and medium-sized towns in the midwest and west, for a number of years, at a number of different times in my life. All I can say is that I've seen it in action. It's it's never overt -- it's things like being called "Yankee" every day for years, phrased as a "joke," but always a reminder that you're an outsider, you don't belong.

Is it disparaging to the prosecutor? Maybe. But she's the one who (allegedly) said that "she believed professors are incapable of seeing the real world around them because their “heads are always in a book.”" That strikes me as pretty much preconceived notions, very town vs. gown.

Of COURSE it's not everyone who lives in a small town. And of course I don't have anything but the story to go on. But then again, neither do you. And if the people actually said and did what the author says they did, well, all I'm saying is, that, based on my own experience, it seems like the decision to prosecute was based on more than just concern about kids at a mall.

I have a three year old, and I have to say, it depends on the three year old. I'd trust my daughter in the care of a responsible 12 year old at the mall. She is well-behaved, listens well, and doesn't wander off like a lot of kids her age would.

There is plenty of stupidity to go around with this story:
1. The 12-year-olds entrusting the 7 and 8 year olds with the 3 year old. 7 and 8 is old enough to take care of themselves, but not old enough to take care of a 3 year old. When I was seven, I rode my bike to the store, went shopping, and brought the groceries home. And I lived to tell about it.

2. Arresting and charging Kevane with child neglect. Please tell me how that serves the children's or society's best interests. Mall security should have called Kevane to come pick up the kids, Kevane should have punished the 12 year olds for being irresponsible (they knew not to leave the younger kids), and Kevane should think twice before trusting the 12 year olds again.

3. Kevane blaming "being tired" for the whole mess. WTF? Everybody is tired. The fact is, your kids weren't as responsible as you thought they were. Nobody cares about your hamster.

Knowingly leaving your children unsupervised in a public place (shopping mall, McDonalds’s, movie theater) means transferring the supervision duties onto the employees of that place. It’s not a child neglect per se, since it has to be proven that there is a reason to believe they would imminently be in harm’s way, but it’s a gross disrespect and freeloading. In addition, 12 yo legally is not allowed “to buy some shirts”, since a contract with a minor won’t be binding. Of course, kids buy stuff all the time, but a kid is more likely to be allowed to purchase a stick of gum in the corner store than a piece of clothing in a major chain. On the other hand, maybe the girls never had an intention to purchase anything, they were just fooling around, trying stuff on. Doesn’t look pretty either.

A kid with a grain of social intelligence would have asked an employee (or a security officer) to keep an eye on a younger kids IF there was an unlikely situation that the older girls just HAD to be away from the younger ones. Either the employees would agree, and it would become their responsibility, or they would tell the girls to watch their siblings or call their parents immediately. No lawsuit. Instead the “babysitters” just stole away. I guess, after an hour of mall walking they were so-o-o tired, just like mommy.

The other mother was not charged since she was not driving the kids to the mall, so she did not physically abandon them. She also could have given her consent in ambiguous way, something like “I don’t know, Mary Lou, it’s up to your judgment…”

By the way, according to the original article, the 3 years old was talking in the car about a lady in the mall giving here “nice candies”. I guess it was a surprise for the mother that her child would take candies from strangers. As for the mall personnel mistaking 3, 7 and 8 yo for 2, 3 and 4 yo – I have a great suspicion that at a time that was a particular mental age they exhibited.

This is ridiculous. It's Bozeman and it was two 12 year olds. When I was 12 I babysat kids as young as 3 (I was also trained in CPR), and trust me when I say that myself and another trained babysitter at 12 would have been able to handle that situation just fine. This wasn't 40 years ago that I'm talking about, this was in the early 90s where half of the neighborhood kids were babysat by 11 and 12 year olds.

People need to stop thinking that 12 year olds are as helpless as 3 year olds. The other kids were fine, no one was going to grab all of them from a mall. Safety in numbers. If they had one kid with them and left that kid by themselves that is an entirely different situation.

this article is mistitled. Every case of neglect has the parent believing that what they did was appropriate. Next we will have lenore telling us to let 8 year olds watch 3 year olds on the subway.....

"People need to stop thinking that 12 year olds are as helpless as 3 year olds."

Granted. But thinking that a pair of 12-year-olds are capable of taking care of a 3-year-old is a different story.

FWIW, I have considered letting my 12-year-old neighbor babysit my daughter (3.5). She's a nice kid and she's taken the baby sitting class. So I asked her to be a mother's helper one morning so I could see how she did. Halfway through the morning, she said she didn't feel well, I offered to let her go home. I nearly fell over when she said "oh, I can't. My mom's out and I'm not allowed home alone." That pretty much put an end to any plan to have her babysit -- if her own mom doesn't think she's mature enough to be home alone, then I'm sure as shootin' not leaving her alone in my home with my preschooler!

To be honest, I'm not sure the mom in question here really deserved to be prosecuted. I think the mall employees did the right thing, but maybe the police and prosecutor could have exercised some discretion and let it go. However, seeing the woman's attitude in the article, I wonder if she goaded them into a more extreme reaction with her contemptuous attitude and refusal to take any responsibility for her poor judgment.

It always depends on the maturity of the babysitter. But while I might allow a 12yo to look after a 3yo in a home, I'd never allow her to take that 3yo to a mall, with two other young charges as well.

I totally agree with the other posters. This was more than a lapse of judgement. Ms. Kevane should count herself lucky that nothing serious happened.

Do I believe she should be prosecuted? No. Parents do make serious lapses of judgements at times. It is not criminally negligent. Too many other parents qualify for that title way more than Ms. Kevane.

However, seeing the woman's attitude in the article, I wonder if she goaded them into a more extreme reaction with her contemptuous attitude and refusal to take any responsibility for her poor judgment.

Posted by: newsahm | July 21, 2009 10:48 AM | Report abuse

Jah, there is something "fishy" about the author's self-serving version of the story. And what's with all the backstory crap? Who gives a rat's a$s? I would be REALLY pissed off if my 12 year old kid left a 3 year old charge to try on shirts.

I agree with the comments that 12 year old children are not babies. When I was 12 and 13, my mom went back to work (part time) and I had to get my brothers 5 and 7 from their bus, get them home and start dinner so they are certainly capable of taking care of younger kids. We would go bike riding together by ourselves as well. Granted we lived in a little town in PA. There were no cell phones then if there were problems like someone falling off the bike, I would think now I'd feel more secure because the kids could reach me on a cell phone...
Not excusing this mom from anything, just saying that the 12 year olds are not incapable...

In addition, 12 yo legally is not allowed “to buy some shirts”, since a contract with a minor won’t be binding. Of course, kids buy stuff all the time, but a kid is more likely to be allowed to purchase a stick of gum in the corner store than a piece of clothing in a major chain.
Posted by: lysistrata1 | July 21, 2009 10:27 AM

No. Any person of any age who has legal currency can buy any amount of shirts at any store any time. That is not the kind of transaction that is impaired by the legal disability of "minority."

On point, I don't think that this was "child neglect." I think it was maybe not a great parenting decision and I agree that the whining makes it even less palatable. I also think the decision of the prosecutor to proceed against this person was 1) not a great decision and 2) likely, as newsahm pointed, as much a product of the mom's own attitude toward the police and the prosecutor as it was based on any concern for the kids.
There are many, many neglected and abused kids out there that need the resources of the state to be focused on saving them rather than on cases like this where the kids do not appear to have been in any danger at all. It's irksome.

Laura, From the self-serving flavor of the article, I don't really trust her word. She's pretty hung up on all kinds of preconcieved notions. There are a lot of small minded people, I've recieved quite a few of those "knowing glances" and not so overt comments from plenty of people because of the way I raise my kids, so no, I don't think it is only small town America only that has a problem.

Sorry, my gut instinct is this woman is a bit of a drama queen.

Sorry, my gut instinct is this woman is a bit of a drama queen.

Posted by: cheekymonkey1 | July 21, 2009 11:21 AM | Report abuse

Bingo!

It actually does make me worry a bit about leaving my kids with a babysitter- if the sitter screws up, am I then legally responsable?
Posted by: floof | July 21, 2009 9:28 AM

responsible. r-e-s-p-o-n-s-I-b-l-e

and yes. If the sitter screws up, they're YOUR kids; YOU hired the sitter; YOU are legally responsible (and accountable).
ESPECIALLY if the sitter is under 18.

fr kallieh:

>...People need to stop thinking that 12 year olds are as helpless as 3 year olds. The other kids were fine, no one was going to grab all of them from a mall. ...

Kids are snatched from mall or stores everyday. Get real.

"People need to stop thinking that 12 year olds are as helpless as 3 year olds. The other kids were fine, no one was going to grab all of them from a mall. Safety in numbers.

Posted by: kallieh | July 21, 2009 10:30 AM"

Really?
This situation reminds me of this:
http://www.charleyproject.org/cases/m/moseley_julie.html

She trusted 2 (not one) 12 year olds with 3 children - one old enough to be alone by himself. That's a pretty good ratio. They went to a small city mall and hung out and did what 12 year old girls do. The children were not misbehaving.
By the time I was 12, I was babysitting 4 kids every Friday night - ages 1, 3, 5, and 7. I had no infant CPR classes. No first aid classes. 911 and cell phones did not exist. And you know what? I managed and grew up and learned responsibility. When I was 13 I was taking 2 kids I babysat on weekends to the neighborhood park - that was a mile away, riding bikes there and back. By 14, I was a summer nanny for a 8 year old girl - taking her many places within "biking distance". Today I can't believe I was trusted with 4 kids that young when I was only 12, or biking around with kids a year later, or full time summer nanny at 14... but that's because today were trained to give kids less responsibility.

Auntie W, The link you posted was from 1974 and involved three 9 year olds, so it is not necessarily a apples to apples comparison. There are plenty of abduction cases out there to cite and that is the worst case scenario.

I am not saying two 12 year olds couldn't go to the mall on their own, my problem is with them supervising 3 others children - one being 3 years old. They left them alone "for only 5 minutes" and that the crux of the problem.

Would I let a responsible 12-year-old watch my 3.5 year-old in my house? Yes. Would I let that 12-year-old go to the mall with a friend? Probably, depending on the kid. Would I allow that same kid to wander the mall in charge of my son? NO WAY. Keeping track of a pre-schooler (even a well-behaved one) in a busy place like a mall takes more concentration and attention than a 12-year-old should be expected to have. I don't think that lapse in judgement was something to prosecute over, though.

But - Do all parents get tired? Heck yes. We all do. I haven't had a night out with my husband or a morning sleep-in since September 2008, and we both work full-time away from home. So, using the "I'm tired" card doesn't get much sympathy from me. Get an older baby-sitter, send the kids to a relative, or even have the 12-year-olds hang out with the kids at home while you run to the bookstore or coffee shop or something for an hour or so.

Remember, Ms. Kevane: this is the life you chose to have. I hope you can find some support system to help you if it's going that rough, but in the meantime, you better put on the big-girl knickers cause it doesn't sound like it's going to get better any time soon.

Children aren't abducted from malls "every day". She thought the girls were responsible. They weren't as responsible as she thought. No one was hurt. Bozeman got carried away because they didn't like her not taking full responsibility - which isn't against the law. And yes, I grew up in the midwest. You are an outsider for a very long time there if you weren't born there.

I think one of the first problems here is that the woman MADE the two 12yo girls take the other 3 children to the mall... this wasn't 2 girls who volunteered to babysit at the park - they wanted to go shop, hangout, etc, not look after 3 kids. They said yes so they could do what they wanted to do - this was just asking for trouble and I feel as though the mom should have known better.

Clearly, the 2 twelve year olds were not ready to babysit the younger kids. The proof is in the pudding. The kids were left unsupervised. Bad idea, if only in hindsight. Not sure if it deserves jailtime though. I think a visit to the precinct to pick up the kids would be a loud enough message for most parents.

That said, I am a bit annoyed by all the excuses and rationalizations. So she has a lot on her plate. That is her choice. If she is stretched so thin as to be unable to make responsible choices for the children in her charge, she needs to rethink her priorities and offload some of the extra things. I have a hard time feeling sympathetic to the woe is me routine. She needs to own her life and her choices.

"Kids are snatched from mall or stores everyday. Get real."

Posted by: Alex511 | July 21, 2009 12:07 PM

Alex511 - The amount of children abducted today is less than it was 40 years ago. Your position is irrational.

"Auntie W, The link you posted was from 1974 and involved three 9 year olds, so it is not necessarily a apples to apples comparison. There are plenty of abduction cases out there to cite and that is the worst case scenario...

Posted by: cheekymonkey1 | July 21, 2009 12:29 PM"

Actually, it was a 9 year old, a 14 year old, and a 17 year old--girls certainly considered responsible and mature enough to care for the 9yo, and to avoid the "worst case scenario" of abduction. And as for being from 1974 that's part of the point---those girls have been missing since then, and their families left in the dark about what happened to them for 35 years. Yes, it's the worst case scenario and of course we shouldn't be all Chicken Little/helicopter about things. I wasn't trying to make an apples to apples comparison--my only point in posting it was that someone saying that there's safety in numbers isn't always the case.

I'm sure the chances of something like what happened to these three girls are a million to one, and I disagree with Alex who posted that children are grabbed from shopping malls every day, but even so, I think this mother was irresponsible.

Auntie, sorry - read that as three 9 year olds so I see your point. However, it is true that child abductions are down from 30-40 years ago by public awareness and media attention.

Aren't most abductions by family members? Something like 75%? Not that the other 25% of stranger abductions aren't frightening, but I think it just doesn't happen as frequently as it would seem from the media coverage.
On the other hand, the statistics won't make anyone feel better if their child becomes one of the 25% either....

So much to comment on. First, people in the midwest and the west call people "yankees" Most people who live in the midwest are yankees.

Anyway, on to the topic at hand. This mother gives all working mother's a bad name. She is the one who thinks that whatever else she has to do is more important than what everyone else has to do. I don't want to put up with or watch her kids while I shop. I probably had to hire a babysitter to watch my own kids and find the time to sneak away to the mall.

Oh, but I am so tired so I push my three smaller kids off on my 12 year old. Join the club honey, we are all tired. Do less, get rid of Oscar or don't write as much.

Blaming this ladies issues on small town America is silly. She created the whole situation and drams.

Give her a break. She made a decision to leave the children in the care of 2 12-year-olds. She was not negligent. She did not drop the three younger children off by themselves. I don't see why the Macys employees didn't just ask the children who they were with and where the older girls were. They could have paged the girls to come to the cosmetics counter as easily as calling security. This was nothing more than making a mountain out of a molehill.

"I think one of the first problems here is that the woman MADE the two 12yo girls take the other 3 children to the mall... this wasn't 2 girls who volunteered to babysit at the park - they wanted to go shop, hangout, etc, not look after 3 kids. They said yes so they could do what they wanted to do - this was just asking for trouble and I feel as though the mom should have known better" I was an older sister, by 7 years. My parents "MADE" me look out for my sister as well because that's what families do. When I was in charge of my sister, I was responsible for her whether it was my choice or my mother's. I don't know what it is you think the mother should have known better.

anonmom - most parent should know the difference between babysitting and pawning off their kids. She should know that watching your younger siblings at home for your parents or sending them outside to play to get out of your hair is completely different than sending them off to what was basically a social event with her and a friend. You must have been extremely mature because the last thing most tween/teenagers want to do when they are "hanging out" is watch after their brothers/sisters --- this story is exhibit A.

Thanks for this article, Stacey. I used it as the topic for my Wednesday's Woman blog as well:

http://www.smallbizresource.com/blog/main/archives/2009/07/the_exhaustion.html