"At which point one of the girls looked that mother straight in the eye and, in her very best Rachel-McAdams-in-"Mean Girls"-voice, said: "Okay, first of all? This is a concert. It's not a play date."

LOL! Sounds like a CYE episode.

I think the fellow audience members are more the problem for most concerts rather than the bands themselves-other than obviously inappropriate ones that have bad lyrics. I have been really surprised over the years by how wild some crowds get-even for bands you wouldn't think. I pretty much don't go to concerts now. And a 3 year old at a Dave Matthews concert is just plain silly. Not because of the music-I can't recall much profanity in their songs-but because of all the hippies spoking pot.

That's some endurance for an 8 year old to stand for 6 hours waiting then stand another 3 for the show. Impressive.

I wouldn't take my kid to any show unless they were some kind of unbelievable superfan of a "clean" act and old enough to appreciate it (which is kind of the default for being a superfan I reckon) and I at least tolerated the band too. Plust the show would have to be at a decent time (age appropriate time). Basically, perfect storm has to happen for me to take my kid to a real show, so I reckon I won't really have to wrestle with this any time soon. Tickets are too friggen expensive for even me to go to most of the shows I'd like to see.

Meant smoking pot.

And I do go to some concerts at stadiums-I think the outdoor ones are more the problem-which is a shame because I love the idea of it.

I am taking my 8 year old daughter to the Miley Cyrus concert. She is so excited to go to her first concert (the Wiggles do not count right?). Obviously I am fine with it. I would prefer the Taylor Swift concert because I think Taylor is a better role model than Miley. But my daughter is too young to read the tabloids to hear the rumors about Miley. As for her attire on stage, its a costume. Its not for school for example.

We took our 3 year old to Lollapalooza in Chicago this summer. They had a separate area called Kizapalooza that had some good performers, and a bunch of "rock" activities for the kids. But we also took him over to some of the main stages. We stayed at the back of the crowds which gave him plenty of room to dance. We had a great time.

When I was 5, my parents took me to see Neil Diamond. I still can remember the excitement of being at the concert and Mr. Diamond standing on the piano for 'Forever in Blue Jeans.' I don't see how that is much different than a mild Dave Matthews concert.

I don't particularly like concerts, so I have been to very few in my life. The kids have been to local bands playing at local outdoor events with us over the years but show no desire to see Miley, Taylor, Wiggles or whoever. It's strange, but one of the reasons I don't like concerts is growing up and seeing footage of Woodstock and thinking - GROSS! Images burned on my brain!

I know the mean girls remark was snotty, but one of the reasons I hate concerts is because of the close proximity to rude people for hours and hours.

When I was 5, my parents took me to see Neil Diamond. I still can remember the excitement of being at the concert and Mr. Diamond standing on the piano for 'Forever in Blue Jeans.' I don't see how that is much different than a mild Dave Matthews concert.

Posted by: trygo

My first concert was a Neil Diamond concert. I don't think you can compare a Neil Diamond concert to a Dave Matthews concert though, not because of the lyrics, but because of the fans. When I was a teenager I probably went to 4-5 Dave Matthews concerts and many of the fans were very rude, drunk, high etc.

I think it depends on the concert. It's common sense that some concerts are more appropriate for kids than others.

The main issue we have is the time. My 8 year old would have loved to go to see Journey with us, but he just can't stay up that late.

funny... the last thing that came to my mind is how our kid would react to naughty language or the smell of pot.

instead the first thing i though of was how annoying it would be for me, the kid and the people around us.

if the kid is old enough to sit through a two hour concert while acting appropriate then i'm all for it. and i would certainly not expect people in front of us to act any differently because my short kid is behind them. people crowd in front of you at concerts all of the time - it may be rude, but it's part of the game.

my wheelchair bound wife and i were recently in handicap section of a concert - when it started everyone stood up and we couldn't see a thing. lesson learned.

if you and your kid is not up for it, stick to disney on ice.

(totally agree with the sentiment that concerts are not appropriate places to chit chat with your friends!! STFU!!!)

"I don't think you can compare a Neil Diamond concert to a Dave Matthews concert though, not because of the lyrics, but because of the fans. When I was a teenager I probably went to 4-5 Dave Matthews concerts and many of the fans were very rude, drunk, high etc."

You don't think people were getting high at concerts in the 70's?

Trygo,

Well, the Neil Diamond concert I saw was indoors in a more regulated place than the outdoor Tom Petty concerts. And I remember the concert had a mellow vibe whereas today I think concerts get more rowdy.

And,interesting idea
funny... the last thing that came to my mind is how our kid would react to naughty language or the smell of pot.

Isn't it your job as a parent to think ahead to these things to protect your child?

You don't think people were getting high at concerts in the 70's?
----------

Not Neil Diamond concerts- "Turn on Your Heartlight" ET

The idea of my parents taking me to a concert...well, never occurred to me. I don't think it's a place for kids. I've seen parents take their kids - and seriously, it's probably cause the parents want to expose their kids. Fine - I don't have a problem with that.
I just don't see my taking my kids to a concert (except, well, CCR played after the last baseball game of the season...and well, that would have been cool - and at the baseball stadium, well, the kids wouldn't have been incredibly focused on it, etc).

I started going to concerts when I was about 15, taking a train to manhattan, etc. I had friends who weren't allowed to go. We'd go to NJ or out on Long Island too. My parents always let me go, but I had to buy the tickets myself. I'm not sure I'd want to take my kids...

sunflower571 - i guess we have different opinions on the subject.

when it comes to the realities of the world, i think sheltering is worse for a child than acknowledging it.

You don't think people were getting high at concerts in the 70's?
----------

Not Neil Diamond concerts- "Turn on Your Heartlight" ET

Posted by: bbcrock | October 8, 2009 10:21 AM | Report abuse

Oh, brother!
There's one born every minute.

My parents were real 60s music lovers who experienced shows from the Beatles to the Doors to Hendrix (although not, oddly enough, Woodstock). They continued that tradition by taking me to concerts, ranging from folk to rock, when I was a child. Those are some of my favorite memories of childhood, and music is one of the biggest constants in my memories of my youth and my parents.

Looking back, sure there was some pot smoking and inappropriate behavior at those concerts. But as a kid, I didn't notice it: either because I was too young to recognize it or because I was too excited to be at a concert with my folks to pay attention.

My baby's a little too young for concerts yet, but I hope to instill that tradition of music in my kids, too.

And those rude girls who stood in front of you, they're idiots who are unworthy of hearing U2. I bet Bono takes his kids to concerts!

I've been a huge U2 fan for over 20 years -- and I still can't bring myself to plop down hundreds of dollars for a ticket for ME! No way I'd spend that kind of $$ on an 8-yr-old!!

I'd definitely take her to a concert, though, if I thought the venue and artists were appropriate. Someplace like Meriweather -- smaller, you can hang out on blankets, kids can move around and play, etc. I saw James Taylor, the Moody Blues, Tracy Chapman, etc. out there -- anything like that would be perfectly fine if I thought my kids would get something out of it.

What about second hand smoke though? Even if your kids don't notice the pot smell (what few kids would) arent you concerned about them smelling it? And generally concerts are just so unpleasant. The story about the girls standing in front of the mother and daughter reminded me of when my aunt and I had a spot staked out early at a Counting Crows or John Mayer concert and girls squatted on our blanket and peed on it.

"You don't think people were getting high at concerts in the 70's?"

No, not nearly as high as they do at today's concerts. Pot is a lot better nowadays than it was 30 years ago...

Reminds me of a dad who took his 10-year-old son to see the The Dead in Charlottesville last spring. He scolded several people for smoking pot (shock, gasp, horror!) in front of his precious little boy. He seemed dangerously naive, expecting other people to adjust their behavior (and long-standing customs/culture) to accommodate his child.

My bigger concern is the possibility of hearing damage, depending on the type of music and the proximity to the speakers. Are kids more or less susceptible to hearing damage from loud noise? Speak up please--I can't hear ya.

My wife and I took my 12-year-old grandson to Nissan to see ZZ Top/Aerosmith; we had seats under the roof.

There WAS a lot of standing up, but the worst part was the continual stream of drunks continually parading to/from the beer stands and the idiots chainsmoking behind us. He did comment on the drunk parade.

"You don't think people were getting high at concerts in the 70's?"

No, not nearly as high as they do at today's concerts. Pot is a lot better nowadays than it was 30 years ago...

Posted by: WhackyWeasel | October 8, 2009 11:02 AM | Report abuse

Dunno, but have you seen/smelled the stoners at the country music concerts? They get the really good, laced stuff.

Our kids have gone with us to concerts and clubs from the beginning - only real exception was when they were crawlers/toddlers and we didn't want them crawling around barroom floors. We exposed them to as much of the creative world as possible. They are now teenagers, and each has a creative passion, which will probably shape their entire lives.

For the most part, what kids are not ready to absorb goes over their heads anyway.

Also - important! - be sure they have appropriate ear protection if the music is loud. That means custom made ear plugs from an audiologist. It's a *sound* investment.

I feel sorry for the kids that were taken to the U2 concert...If you're going to take them to a concert, can it at least be GOOD music? My dad took me to Blues and Jazz Festivals (which he also played at). I'll never forget being 20 feet away from BB King, Dr. John and Aaron Neville. Now THAT was some good music and a good time!

I would absolutely take a child to a show--provided they had adequate ear protection. Sure concerts can be packed full of rude people doing sometimes odd things, but so can be shopping malls, subway cars, busy city streets, etc. There's no boogieman specific to concerts.

I also saw U2 on this tour, and an 8-year-old and his parents sat in front of me. All had a fantastic time singing and dancing together. Bono also pulled a little boy (maybe 10 or so) on stage with him during City of Blinding Lights. Imagine the excitement of being a kid and getting to run around on stage in front of 60,000 fans cheering. Now that's a memory.

As others have said, it depends on the artist(s). For me, it also depends on the venue. I think there's a difference in the crowd make-up at Nissan, versus Wolf Trap. I've also seen people bring kids to shows at the Birchmere, which is also pretty low-key (Aimee Mann and Jonatha Brooke, so there were a few f-bombs from the performers, but nothing egregious).

I took my four-year-old to see Guster and Pete Yorn at Wolf Trap two years ago. Everyone was very polite, even the drunk/buzzed people (we were in the seats, not on the lawn). There's no smoking in the seats, so I didn't have to worry about that, either.

I grew up going to concerts with my mom, and I'd like my sons to have the same experience.

I'll never forget being 20 feet away from BB King, Dr. John and Aaron Neville. Now THAT was some good music and a good time!

Posted by: sighnyc | October 8, 2009 11:32 AM | Report abuse

And:

Ahhhhhh! Show me a man that's got a good woman
Show me
Show me a man out there that's got a good woman
Show me (huh huh)
Show me a man that's got a good woman
Show me a man that's got a good woman
Show me a man that's got a good woman
Show me a man that's got a good woman

Show me a man that's got a good woman
I'll show you a man that goes to work hummin'
He knows he's got some sweet love coming
at the end of his working day.

*Yeah*

Show me a woman that's got a good man
Show me!
I wanna see a woman out there that claims she got a good man!
Show me!
And if you show me a woman that's got a good man
Show me a woman that's got a good man
Show me a woman that's got a good man
Show me a woman that's got a good man

Show me a woman that's got a good man
I'll show you a woman doin' all she can
To make life worth living for her good man
So his troubles don't cross his mind.

*Yeah*

Show me two people that's in love with each other
Y'all, show me.
I want you to show me two people that's in love with each other
Show me.
Ah ya show me two people that's in love with each other
Show me two people in love with each other
Show me two people in love with each other
Show me two people in love with each other

Show me two people that's in love with each other
I'll show you two people that ain't going no further
than their arms can reach to hold one another
Let them lovers alone, yeah
they doin' all right

One serious issue at most concerts is hearing damage. Young ones are much more vulnerable. Last year I saw Elvis Costello perform with his 4 year old twins in the wings, ears covered by giant earmuffs for hearing protection.

Smart man, brilliant lyricist and player.

no, i'm not afraid of 2nd-hand pot smoke.

i've been to 20 or so concerts in the dc region over the past 10 years - anywhere from Wolftrap to the blackcat and i've never seen (or smelled) any behavior that was over the line.

occasionally people are rude, occasionally people are drunk, occasionally you can smell pot - but generally it's a pleasant experience.

fr Momto2kids:

>I am taking my 8 year old daughter to the Miley Cyrus concert....

Seeing as miley dresses like a tramp, she is NOT a good role model, and I would NOT be taking a child to see her "sing".

Reminds me of a dad who took his 10-year-old son to see the The Dead in Charlottesville last spring. He scolded several people for smoking pot (shock, gasp, horror!) in front of his precious little boy. He seemed dangerously naive, expecting other people to adjust their behavior (and long-standing customs/culture) to accommodate his child.

You're right - what an idiot for expecting people to not openly break the law in public like that.

Speaking of hearing damage-does anyone know if it's safe for pregnant women to be around loud noise? Does it affect the baby?

The first show our boys experienced was when I was five months pregnant with older son. Took my mother to the symphony, and it was really clear that the baby was listening.

After that experience, we've made it a point to get both boys to as many shows as possible. And every year for Yule we go to some sort of musical performance.

Yeah, gotta pay attention to volume levels and use hearing protection if needed/appropriate.

Smoking. Not allowed indoors here in CA, so that's not an issue for us. I remember the 70's concerts we went to at the Oakland Coluseum, clouds and clouds of smoke, and the contact highs.

Of course, there was the time we smuggled in the bottle of vodka, inside my 15-y-o sister's down jacket. When we got to our seats and she took off the jacket, the bottle fell out and shattered on the concrete floor. So, to me it makes more sense to take the boys to concerts and shows - DH and I can be with them and supervising them. They don't need to repeat some of the very silly things we did.

Sunflower, one of the medical tests they do on unborn babies to test their awareness is to blast an air horn at mommy's stomach and see if it startles the baby. To my understanding, the ear drums are well protected inside of the embrionic fluid and are not subject to damage.

But as far as music and other sounds go for the unborn, study after study shows that language development and music are so closely related in the brain of a human that exposure to music during early stages of development actually does make kids smarter.

So you should sing as much as possible during your pregnancy.

And make sure your husband talks to the baby everyday too. :-)

BTW: Personally, I think hip-hop/rapp music, as opposed to Mozart, Bach, Brahms, make the smartest babies. The syncapated rythims and dissadent tones are more of an attention grabber which is the idea here...

I remember this glorious time long ago when adults did adult stuff, and children did children stuff.

"Speaking of hearing damage-does anyone know if it's safe for pregnant women to be around loud noise? Does it affect the baby?"

Friend of mine who just had twins said that her doc said that the issue is more that if you *need* (as opposed to "want") ear protection to survive the concert, you probably shouldn't do so while pregnant -- while you can put in earpplugs, they can't and while things are muffled in there (apparently it's like being underwater), the sound does travel.

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