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While Senate leaders would not release the name of the blood-feeding parasite's original host, many legislators speculated Tuesday that the epidemic started with that one gross Arkansas representative who always wears sweatpants."

-- The Senate is sent home from school in the "news story" Head Lice Going Around Senate.

The Onion



By washingtonpost.com editors  |  February 18, 2009; 7:23 AM ET
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