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Other dads you might not want to vote for

By Alexandra Petri

Jan Schill does not want you to elect her father, John Mantooth, as a judge in Oklahoma's McClain County. So she created Here are a few other famous fathers who might have gotten a similar treatment.

-Teddy Roosevelt. Alice Roosevelt Longworth and Teddy didn’t always get along. He once famously commented: "I can be president of the United States-- or-- I can attend to Alice. I cannot possibly do both." She, in turn, quipped that her father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.

-Thomas Jefferson. Given that Jefferson’s children with Sally Hemmings were born enslaved to him, it is likely that they would have opposed his election to the nation’s highest office.

-Henry VIII. Daughter Elizabeth I was presumably a bit upset after he beheaded her mother Ann Boleyn.

-Peter the Great. This Russian czar had his son killed, a move that probably did not bring them closer as a family.

-Agamemnon. According to legend, this ancient Greek king sacrificed his daughter Iphigenia so the ships would sail. Her website might have run more along the lines of

-King David. His son Absalom tried to supplant him as king of Israel, a move that resulted in his death and, much later, the Faulkner novel Absalom, Absalom.

-Cronos. This Greek god was known for devouring his children.

By Alexandra Petri  | July 27, 2010; 6:01 PM ET
Categories:  Petri  | Tags:  Alexandra Petri  
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Anyone ready for a new reality show, probably one involving a therapist, in which people we don’t know or care about teach us why we don’t know and don’t care about them? It will begin with a therapy session in which Jan tears up and blames her father for whatever nicknames small children could have made up from the Jan Mantooth, and end with their reconciliation, followed by John Mantooth’s bid for President.

Posted by: zoezoe123 | July 27, 2010 7:13 PM | Report abuse

Or mothers. Irene comes to mind. See

Posted by: Itzajob | July 28, 2010 11:51 AM | Report abuse

I got a big box of worm-infested chocolates that says Jan Schill, née Mantooth, is a daddy-didn't-love-me-enough Obama-voting liberal.


Posted by: Bjartur | July 28, 2010 3:13 PM | Report abuse

Writer's block is a tough beast to face. But our educstion can help.

Posted by: gary4books | July 28, 2010 3:22 PM | Report abuse

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