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Ten birthday gift suggestions for President Obama

By Alexandra Petri

Happy Birthday, Mr. President! Today, you are 49 years old. This is the same age as the landmark Mapp v. Ohio court case. I bet it spent today by itself, too.

For anyone who is at a loss for what to give the man who has everything, here are some gift suggestions. Better late than never!

10. Twenty more approval points. Or just one, if you're on a tight budget.

9. Health care. Oh, wait, he already got himself this. That's awkward. Hope it came with a receipt!

8. Pelican clean-up kit. Contents: Toothbrush, determination.

7. Repeal of the Fourteenth Amendment. This gift is a surprise. But Lindsey Graham said he’d really enjoy one.

6. Static kill. I'm not entirely sure what this is, but it's ongoing, and it sounds like a great way to get the party started.

5. Birth certificate. You know, just in case.

4. START treaty. This is a better gift than the "gun you can carry openly in restaurants" that you were planning on.

3. Wikiplumber (for WikiLeaks).

2. Verdict overturning Prop 8. (Judge Walker anticipated you there.)

1. Letter of introduction to Snooki.

By Alexandra Petri  | August 4, 2010; 4:35 PM ET
Categories:  Petri  | Tags:  Alexandra Petri  
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Next: Charlie Rangel is no crook


Idea #11 -- a plane ticket to Hawaii -- one way.
I'll buy.

Posted by: jimbob3 | August 4, 2010 7:18 PM | Report abuse

MSM columnist who actually write truthful and insightful columns.

Posted by: rlj1 | August 5, 2010 9:08 AM | Report abuse

Alternative option: get the guy "a clue" since he seems oblivious to the wants and needs of his fellow Americans [NOT just the Dems].

Posted by: Erisian | August 5, 2010 1:22 PM | Report abuse

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