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Terror babies? Really?

Everyone has been talking a lot about terror babies. Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) appeared on Anderson Cooper and shouted about them for several minutes, which means that they are clearly a rising topic of national concern.

The FBI has hastened to assure the public that the concept of terror babies is ludicrous.

What's wrong with the idea of mothers sneaking into the country, giving birth, and sneaking back elsewhere to lovingly rear their children into U.S.-hating mini-Osamas? Besides the fact that there's no evidence of such a phenomenon?

Well, it’s hard enough convincing little kids to be bankers. Sure, you do your best. You give them plush bulls and bears. You explain that one is good and the other is very, very bad. In the evenings, you sit near the crib explaining that once they grow up and become too big to fail, the government will just hand them money no matter what they do. "This is fool-proof! Literally foolproof!" you shout. But do they listen? No. They want to be dentists or ballerinas or even FTC regulators.

I imagine parents trying to raise terrorists would run into similar problems.

What if the kid rebels? What if he decides he wants to be a U.N. ambassador, instead? Eventually, Terror Babies grow into Terror Adolescents. "Come back!" I picture his mother yelling. "Tonight is the night our family stays at home feeling aggrieved towards the United States!" “You can't tell me what to do, Mom!” he shouts back, slamming the door. “I’m going to the park to feed small animals and act as a positive role model!”

Then Terror Adolescent slips back through the door, trying not to make noise. "Where were you, young man?" the father bellows. "I was out at the soup kitchen," Terror Adolescent explains. "I think I saved a life." "Have we taught you nothing?" his mother screams. "Go to your room, and don’t come out until you’ve made a list of 100 reasons you hate the USA!"

Of course, terrorism is far more sadly complex than people such as Gohmert suggest. For each individual who allows his individuality to be melted down into a force of white-hot rage, from the shooter at Fort Hood to the men behind Sept 11, a whole range of factors -- from interpretations of religion to social pressures to the cold force of isolation -- played a part. But one thing these terrorists were certainly not were the products of obsessive Mama Roses trying to coax their Baby Junes to grow up and hate America. If only that were the problem.

By Alexandra Petri  | August 13, 2010; 5:00 PM ET
Categories:  Petri  | Tags:  Alexandra Petri  
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Comments

He did seem very upset...one might even say deranged, there must have been some reason a congressman would act like a raving loon.
Perhaps he meant to say "exploding terror anchor babies"? Has the FBI definitively discounted the threat of self detonating toddlers who manage to get their relatives green cards before going full Jihadi?

Posted by: dijetlau | August 13, 2010 11:02 PM | Report abuse

The link is wrong -- it goes to a story about Cooper questioning a Texas State representative on the topic. This is the correct link:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/13/anderson-cooper-grills-lo_n_681421.html

In a very crowded field, Gohmert may just be the stupidest conservative in Congress.

Posted by: rashomon | August 13, 2010 11:43 PM | Report abuse

Is there no end to the lunatic ideas pushed by a desperate fringe? Paranoia + Xenophobia + ignorance does not equal a political policy, just a political campaign.

Posted by: wilsonjmichael | August 14, 2010 6:57 AM | Report abuse

We're waiting for FAUX "news" to run rhe story. Perhaps these terror toddlers will stand shoulder to shoulder with the Al Quaeda monkeys (a story already run on FAUX and the New York Post). Lincoln was right, you CAN fool some of the people ALL of the time.....they're called the Tea Party.

Posted by: mrtimmaulden | August 14, 2010 9:17 AM | Report abuse

Yes, there are "terror babies" among us. But most of them were planted here years ago by the old Soviet spymasters, not by demented Muslims.

One notorious Soviet-planted goon is Sarah Palinsky. Her parents and her husband's parents were secretly transported across the Bering Strait from The Motherland in the 1950s. Note that in recent years, Todd Palinsky has agitated for Alaska to secede from the United States, no doubt so that it can rejoin Russia, and that Sarah Palinsky has noted, wistfully, that she can see The Motherland from her home in Alaska.

This song -- http://tinyurl.com/Sweet-Ala -- could easily be rewritten as "Sweet Home Mother Russia" and used to help Americans realize that Red states are going to become Red for real.

You see, the nefarious commie plot is subtle. Right now, in Phase One, the main objective is to impoverish the American working class while further enriching the richies. Phase Two, of course, will be the violent workers' uprising. In Phase Three, a resurgent Soviet Union will send troops "to restore order."

Newt Gingrovich, Ron Paulowsky, Rush Limbaughvesky, and Glenn Beckovits are other leading members of this evil conspiracy.

So, too, is GOP Chairman Michael Stalin (Stalin is "Steele" in Russian).

Please, fellow Americans. Go to the rifle range and hone your shooting skills. Make note of the tea party people, Republicans, and other traitors who live near you, and be ready to exercise your 2nd Amendment rights on them when the day comes, which won't be long now.

And remember, no matter how evil the Richies and their Republican stooges become, "We are the country, we will survive!"

Posted by: roblimo | August 14, 2010 1:25 PM | Report abuse

This is not news. Just because someone says something does NOT make it worthy of an article or for MSM to report on the topic. MSM "reported" on Pres. Obama's birth certificate and religion; death panels; ACORN; Michelle Obama's so-called "whitey" remark and thesis; New Black Panther party; etc., etc., etc. All of the above stories were driven by the MSM going along with whatever is put out there and not doing any investigation.

MSM should do their jobs and stop reporting stories by racist and crackpots.

Posted by: rlj611 | August 14, 2010 1:40 PM | Report abuse

YOu can not fool me. I saw the movie with Gregory Peck.

Posted by: GaryEMasters | August 14, 2010 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Leave it to the Republicans to use irrational fear and paranoia for political gain... Anyone remember Joe McCarthy?

Posted by: squirebass | August 14, 2010 5:39 PM | Report abuse

Louie Gohmert Pyle feeds into the ultimate paranoia I mean look at the first wave of terror babies. 49 years ago some Kenyan dude knocked up an american woman who secretly flew back to Hawaii with her mutant child, threw out a few newspaper articles about it, and planted a subversive birth certificate that no one is allowed to see and there ya go --ROUND ONE TERROR BABY BECOMES PRESIDENT.

Imagine the horror if more of brown people become President

Posted by: racerdoc | August 14, 2010 7:33 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, Louie Gohmert sounded like an idiot until these pictures of Chinese anchor baby terror tots were released this weekend. When you check these out, you may feel differently about Gohmert, China and the 14th Amendment.

Read this article. It is VERY FUNNY.

http://www.dailygoat.com/?p=2608

Posted by: eye95 | August 14, 2010 10:43 PM | Report abuse

Unfortunately you left out reason #1 why one would become a suicidal terrorist : mental Illness

Posted by: formerrepublician | August 15, 2010 7:57 AM | Report abuse

The scary thing is not that Gohmert is a fruitcake, that is painfully obvious. The scary thing is that a lot of his constiuents probably believe it.

Posted by: orange31 | August 15, 2010 8:17 AM | Report abuse

Amusing as this article is, it is wrong, wrong, wrong. After all, democrats and republicans tend to run families.

Posted by: Staboy | August 15, 2010 8:25 AM | Report abuse

Amusing as this article is, it is wrong, wrong, wrong. After all, democrats and republicans tend to run families.

Posted by: Staboy | August 15, 2010 8:26 AM | Report abuse

Of course there's no evidence of mommies and daddies or anyone else indoctrinating kids into hateful extremism. Anywhere. Anytime. In the whole world.

Posted by: spamsux1 | August 15, 2010 11:32 AM | Report abuse

One has to wonder, would you really want to go to Gohmert's district, where voters might actually think this guy is Congressional material?

He's not alone, you know. There is Steve King in IA, Michelle Bachmann in MN, Virginia Foxx in NC, the infamous Joe Wilson in SC, and I am quite certain there are others.

What is amazing to me is that it is possible to get that many nut-job voters to live together in the same district, in numerous parts of the country. I guess its not the water.

Posted by: OldUncleTom | August 15, 2010 7:45 PM | Report abuse

I certainly don't question the congressman's sanity. Door-gunner Joe McCarthy never believed anything he said. The story goes that he came up with '57 known Communists in the Government' as he gazed at a Heinz Ketchup bottle.

Posted by: Keesvan | August 16, 2010 2:06 AM | Report abuse

We must vigorously fund NASA's Mars program so that the terrorists don't beat us to the Martian surface, the way that the Russians beat us with Sputnik.

Forget about terror-babies, what about terror-nauts?

Posted by: Please_Fix_VAs_Roads | August 16, 2010 9:37 AM | Report abuse

It does not surprise me someone somewhere in the United States thinks like this. It still does surprise me, though, that citizens elect somebody like that. Why, oh why, Texas, do you send somebody like that to Washington?

Posted by: cmckeonjr | August 16, 2010 11:25 AM | Report abuse

The US is one of a very small number of countries still holding fast to a "birthright citizenship" standard.

The rest of the world has moved on to a different standard ~ namely, that you are a citizen of wherever your parents are a citizen.

Could be a reason for that.

Maybe not.

Mexico even shares in the world standard ~ they don't allow American kids born to vacationing Americans to be counted as Mexican citizens.

As far as "terror babies" are concerned the Sa'ami can tell you all about the illegal alien Norse who moved in on them. It's been just one thing after the other, but mostly downhill for the last 2000 years.

If Telnaes were an honest person she'd be begging her cousins to "Please Return To Your Homes".

Posted by: muawiyah | August 16, 2010 11:29 AM | Report abuse

I love it. Let Louis Gohmert, Michelle Bachman, and the incredibly insane nutcases on the loony right fringe have their day.

In court.

Posted by: bs2004 | August 16, 2010 1:02 PM | Report abuse

Wow! With loons like this continuing to pop up within the GOP, I am wondering why the Democrats are concerned with losing their majority in November? People like Gohmert, Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich and the rest of the wingnut Right are a gift to the Democratic party and all Americans who want a return to sane governance!

Posted by: bkllal6020 | August 16, 2010 1:12 PM | Report abuse

Terror babies...turn into terrorists with just enough ignorance...so do fundamentalist Christians...

Well terroists come from somewhere. Imam indoctrinated Muslim young men caused 911 listening to the propoganda of older leaders. You put testosterone, no women, ignorance, and weapons together and you have the recipe for anarchy.

Hitler youth...? Hitler wanted to get the younger children to indoctrinate them to make the Third Reich.

Gerneally if you start with the youth of a nation you can change it's course however you wish...

So I wouldn;t put the Kabosh on the notion of educating the young in a terrorist philosophy. We have bread children now that have a poor work ethic...hmmm education?

Just my take on it...

Posted by: JPS5 | August 16, 2010 1:28 PM | Report abuse

Ha ha ha! Everybody is so hip and cool and laughing and calling Gohmert names, and ridiculing his constituents. You all are just so...progressive, aren't you? How many of the last several terrorist attacks, or attempts, in the past szeveral years, have been by American citizens? Musliam American citizens? Islamic jihadist American citizens.

Posted by: chatard | August 16, 2010 6:10 PM | Report abuse

Omigod. I can't tell the difference between parody and reality anymore. I thought for sure this was satire. Terror Babies! Omigod. Poor, poor Texas.

Posted by: fzdybel | August 17, 2010 1:57 AM | Report abuse

And this phenomenon surprises American Quislings? Really? You're all really that naive?

Well wake up Quislings, because the jihadists are playing for real.

UK: Police warn of Jihad training for children
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/terrorism-in-the-uk/7121945/Police-warn-of-Jihad-training-for-children.html

Some young children in Britain are being indoctrinated to hate non-Muslims and champion a holy war, according to a new documentary.

"No child is ever too young to be started off on Jihad training," states one document recovered by police from the North West's Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU) during raids.

CTU officers, interviewed by the BBC's Inside Out team for a special programme, show the document and a film they recovered of two children aged about three and six playing with a pistol and Kalashnikov rifle.

The officers say the discoveries are evidence of attempts to radicalise youngsters. The footage, which police believe was filmed in Pakistan, was uncovered on the hard drive of a suspect's computer - though investigators have not revealed when the material was seized.

The video shows a girl and young boy playing with guns, which police believe are real. "What do you do with the weapon?" asks a man's voice. He answers his own question: "I want to kill the infidels."

Posted by: KaddafiDelendaEst | August 17, 2010 8:18 AM | Report abuse

Wait, you say you need more evidence?

UK: Film seized 'shows children being radicalised'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8489137.stm

Police say they have also found flash cards, used to teach young children the alphabet, in another house raid.

The officer said: "We found a series of flash cards and documents on how to raise Mujahid children [who will fight for Islam]. The cards were written in English - and instead of having M for Muhammad they had M for Mujahideen..."

"They have the potential to indoctrinate. It just shows the mindset of some people and what we are up against."

Police say they also found documents downloaded from an extremist website which instructs parents to raise Mujahid children.

The documents say: "The key is to start instilling these values in them while they are babies. Don't wait until they are seven. No child is ever too young to be started off on Jihad training."

Posted by: KaddafiDelendaEst | August 17, 2010 8:23 AM | Report abuse

Before jumping to conclusions and mocking these threats, why can't journalists do their jobs and investigate the claims?

Yes it sound crazy-- it is, and they are.

Posted by: KaddafiDelendaEst | August 17, 2010 8:46 AM | Report abuse

Nice attempt - but too weak to serve.
Try this discussion opening at http://www.teapartynation.com/forum/topics/an-integrated-just-liberty :

An Integrated, Just, Liberty Enhancing, Nearly Self-Enforcing Solution to illegal immigration, false anchor babies, Criminal renditions of Islam, Voter Apathy & Gov Official’s Criminal Conceit

In short:

1) Statutory clarification of Amendment 14 on false anchor babies.

2) Offer of citizenship to adult anchor babies on more proper oath

3) Statutory establishment of a more proper oath establishing knowing and willingly accepted duty under 18USC4 plus (misprision of felony & such) for the status of
A) Resident Alien, B) Naturalized Citizen, C) Voter, D) Gov. Office

4) Violation of oath is criminal. Violation of oath establishes that oath is fraud & void ab inito

5) By statute illegal aliens must promptly self-deport or be subject to forfeiture & prison on criminal charge

6) Enhances Liberty, security, economy under Constitutional-republican rule-of-law.

7) Reduces alienation between lawfully established 'recent' immigrant community and lawful more established community

8) Makes illegal immigrants pariah in the legal immigrant community - gives them no community to hide in - as they are the enemy of all.

Essentially make the illegals bear the cost of their illegality - makes the law nearly self enforcing.

Posted by: Russell_P_Davis | August 17, 2010 10:01 AM | Report abuse

I think Ms Petri needs a bit more worldly experience; certainly in areas of personal, corporate, and national security, and especially to Middle East cultures.

The FBI is an organization proven to be bald-faced liars. If they are assuring us that the concept of "terror babies is ludicrous", you can guarrantee that they have a top secret folder on the entire program; and a probably shaking in their shiney black shoes that we'll be nailed in just that fashion in the next few years to a decade.

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), for all his loud and overbearing rhetoric, is quite right to raise that as a serious consideration in the birthright naturalization process.

Americans are extremely short-sighted as a people. Their attention span is limited to 10 minute segments of the boob tube. Their memory doesn't extend from one 2 year Congressional election to the next. They don't plan for the future in that their retirement savings are always inadequate, and usually nearly non-existant. They have children, and don't plan for their futures until they're sending out college entrance forms. So it's no surprise that they, and Ms Petri, are totally unable to conceive of enemies of the U.S. undertaking a 25 to 30 year plan to destroy the country.

We are talking about religious fanatics. People with the deepest and longest lasting of motivations. If the Russians could stick 4 couples over here under long term, deep cover, there's no reason why fanatical muslims couldn't do so. More importantly, it's easy to come here temporarily, birth your kids, go back to the home country, and then raise them in the precise environment needed to instill fanatical hatred of the U.S.

Love is fine and dandy; but hatred and revenge will keep you warm on cold nights. Guess which is being taught to their kids?

Posted by: mhoust | August 17, 2010 2:27 PM | Report abuse

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