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An ode to Tiffany Livingston

If there's one thing that Steven Slater and Tiffany Livingston have taught us, it's that people really want to get off of JetBlue flights!

I love everything about the Tiffany Livingston story, the tale of the Playboy model who tried to jump out of a plane in mid air. It is basically news by Google fiat. We must give the people what they want! And what the people want is Playboy centerfolds attempting to jump out of JetBlue flights. This combines everything that people like about the news with none of the things we dislike. Half the population has always harbored a fantasy that a Playboy centerfold would fall out of an airplane and land, safely, near him. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" he planned on asking. She might be too stunned to respond, but he would take this as an indication of interest. "Do you come here often?" he would volunteer, after a bit. Now, for all those people, Tiffany Livingston has brought that fantasy to life -- or would have, at any rate, if they hadn't escorted her back to her seat.

People hate serious news about important topics. "Updates on climate change" and "important lessons about health care" never really seems to generate volumes of traffic. But remember that JetBlue flight attendant, Steven Slater, who hit the slide? We loved that. "The only thing that could improve this story," we told ourselves, "was if you replaced Steven Slater with a person who has appeared, even once, in Playboy."

And then, like manna from heaven, there was Tiffany! I give her and Steven credit. Remember that time after 9/11 when we were terrified of flying because we were convinced there might be terrorists on our planes? Now we're terrified of flying because we're convinced there might be temporarily deranged Playboy models on our planes. I think that's a definite improvement.

By Alexandra Petri  | September 10, 2010; 4:53 PM ET
Categories:  Petri  | Tags:  Alexandra Petri  
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Comments

This is the first of your columns I've gotten all the way through. It's hilarious.

Posted by: martymar123 | September 11, 2010 9:19 AM | Report abuse

If you are taking comments from people who have never posed in Playboy or know anyone who has, I thought this was hilarious.

Posted by: martymar123 | September 11, 2010 9:21 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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