The Two-Minute Man, Episode 12: Heavy Hitters Edition

Tough competition this week with a whopping eight Rock and Roll Hall of Fame members on the playlist. Oh, and also Lenny Kravitz and Primitive Radio Gods. Guess who can be found in spots 9 and 10?

"1. You Can't Always Get What You Want" - The Rolling Stones
I'm an absolute sucker for the sentimental, over-the-top 7+ minute epic complete with gospel choir. I mean, my favorite Beatles song is actually "Hey Jude." (I'm not proud.) I even love that cheesy Blur song, "Tender." So of course this song is an all-time favorite. Maybe we should do a "Best Rock Songs with Gospel Choirs" post.

2. "A Hard Day's Night" - The Beatles
This is the third time the Beatles and Stones have been heard in the same week, and this is the third time the Stones have placed one spot higher than the Beatles. Just sayin'.

3. "Psycho Killer" - Talking Heads
"I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax" works equally well as a lyric about Son of Sam as it does to describe what makes the first two Talking Heads albums so great. Lots of people prefer the more musically adventurous albums that followed, but I'll take that wiry early stuff any day.

4. "Back on the Chain Gang" - The Pretenders
I felt kind of bad for ranking Chrissie behind Sheryl Crow a few weeks ago, but now I get to make up for it by putting the Pretenders ahead of Bowie and Zeppelin. This is jangle-pop perfection.

5. "Moondance" - Van Morrison
This song has a jazzy groove and plenty of flute. So whenever I hear it these days I can't help but think of Ron Burgundy. But honestly, that's probably better than thinking of Van Morrison making romance to someone.

6. "China Girl" - David Bowie
This song might be deemed offensive if it was released today, based solely on the title. (Although the lyric about "visions of swastikas in my head" is a bit questionable.) Musically it's about as inoffensive as you can get, cheeky, dance, early-'80s Bowie. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

7. "Call Me" - Blondie
Listening to the Globe has made me realize that I just don't like Blondie too much, and we haven't even brought "Rapture" into the discussion yet.

8. "Fool in the Rain" - Led Zeppelin
I tuned in during the jammy, percussive middle portion and was all, "Rusted Root? Really?" It wasn't, of course, but it's never a good sign when your song can legitimately be mistaken for Rusted Root.

9. "I'll Be Waiting" - Lenny Kravitz
Waiting for what, Lenny? Could it be ... love?

10. "Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money in My Hand" - Primitive Radio Gods
I have no idea how this song became such a ubiquitous hit a decade ago, and I really have no idea why it's still in semi-regular rotation on the Globe. It's these guys vs. Chumbawamba in the final battle for biggest out-of-nowhere one-hit wonder of the '90s. Also, the title of this one is going to make the width of the "Song" column on my cherished Globe spreadsheet ridiculously long.

By David Malitz |  February 1, 2008; 5:15 PM ET Two-Minute Man
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Just use the acronym on the spreadsheet, David. I mean, it's not like you're going to confuse it with any other Primitive Radio Gods songs played on The Globe...

Posted by: Dave Lifton | February 1, 2008 8:59 PM

You just put a dagger, OK a very blunt dagger, in the Zeppelin reunion tour plans. Being mistaken for Rusted Root won't help fill stadiums. Maybe other songs should be listened to from the middle on music jam.

Posted by: T.D. | February 2, 2008 9:28 AM

"You Can't Always Get..." gets demoted simply by being the 5th or 6th best song on the album. "Fool In The Rain" gets moved up simply because, well, listen to what else was coming over the radio when it came out. And really, you haven't heard that song enough times to recognize it when you come upon it? My 9 year-old daughter says "here's that song with the whistle in it."

Posted by: Slick Willie | February 2, 2008 11:56 PM

i have no issues with the ranking on your list, but seriously, Zeppelin does not = Rusted Root!

Anyway, here's to hoping the Globe takes to playing the first 8 songs more and the last two even less. Too bad that's not happening - it's going all bad modern rock and cheesy 80's music nowadays...sad indeed. I keep hearing that stripper anthem "Paralyzer" playing non-stop now! Grrrr...

Posted by: Around | February 4, 2008 9:39 AM

The Stones and the Beatles need to take a back seat to the Talking Heads this time around. Psycho Killer was revolutionary and helped define what was to come by bridging and combining punk and new wave. Can't Always Get and Hard day's Night great as they were just added to already exisiting lore.

Posted by: JSM | February 5, 2008 7:51 AM

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