Don't Go there: Rules of the Road Vol. 3
5. No intermissions. Ever.
For 62 minutes last night at [Insert Telcom Company Name Here] Center, George Michael sang, swiveled his hips and sang some more. And then he ran off the stage, and the house lights came up, and a clock appeared on the high-tech video wall. Intermission time! Intermission? Is this Shakespeare or something?
As momentum killers go, it was a biggie. If you need to disappear for a few minutes, fine. Just tell the band to vamp. Have one of your backup singers take a star turn. Send out some dancers, or a body double. (Hannah Montana can give you some tips there.) Just don't leave the audience hanging - and especially avoid doing it for 20 freakin' minutes.
Look, George, if we need libations or want to make a bathroom run (our kind, not yours), we'll do it during one of those same-sounding modern disco songs. We don't need a mandatory intermission - and neither do you. You're not that old. Heck, Springsteen has 13 years on you and doesn't stick an intermission into his high-octane sets. So just stop it before you start a terrible trend.
Exception: If you're staging, say, "George Michael: The Musical."
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