Hey Virgin Festival Decision Makers - Ditch Book the Band

Hollywood Undead, coming to a stage near you. Unfortunately.

It's got to go. In theory, maybe it's not a terrible idea. You embrace the Internet, have a direct connection with the fans and give a chance to an up-and-coming act. But in practice you end up with a band like this year's winner, Hollywood Undead. Never heard of them? But with "their blend of hip-hop, pop, metal, and screamo, these masked L.A. natives attracted over 400,000 fans on MySpace, topping the site's music charts for weeks." How could you have missed them?

Who exactly benefits from this? Not the Virgin Festival, which now has to tarnish its pretty good name by giving stage time to this band. Oh yeah, this band that has never played a show before. Bob Dylan! Kanye West! Nine Inch Nails! Lil Wayne! And ... the debut performance by some tools from California who make Insane Clown Posse sound like the Beatles and won this contest because their "fans" have nothing better to do but sit on the computer and vote for them!

This is a danger when you rely on Internet voting. Internet voters are even more incompetent than those in Palm Beach County. It's how Corey Hart beat out David Wright, it's how "The Dark Knight" is hailed as the best movie ever (better than "Corky Romano"!!!) and it's how Hollywood Undead became the band that will kick off the second day of Virgin Festival. This is a band that exists only on the Internet, so of course they will be able to mobilize their Internet fans to vote for them. Bands have "devoted Internet followings" for a reason. Namely, the band is beyond terrible and it must harbor some sort of community to make itself relevant. Not that the alternatives were much better, mind you. When We Are Scientists is the best choice, you know you're in trouble.

Are any of the people who for voted Hollywood Undead actually going to shell out the big bucks to see the band in a few weekends? Of course not. That would be about six weeks of allowance for most of those kids. The festival will make no extra money on this. If people see Hollywood Undead as the only late addition to the lineup that will not make them want to buy a ticket if they were on the fence.

Only Hollywood Undead comes out ahead.

So next year, book an additional band from the start, give an extra half hour to a headliner, get the Oriole bird to do an interpretive dance to "Metal Machine Music." Just do anything but give the MySpace morons a chance to make everyone involved look foolish.

By David Malitz |  July 24, 2008; 10:29 AM ET Virgin Festival
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Dude have you seen Bob Dylan perform recently? Maybe these fellows were booked so they could actually make ol' Robert sound decent by comparison.

Posted by: Adam | July 24, 2008 11:34 AM

how do you really feel?

i like the one in the pink mask the best.

Posted by: msto | July 24, 2008 11:56 AM

Of course I've seen Bobby perform recently! Most recent time was actually pretty great. Few times before that ... no. I have a comparison that I use, I'll break it out as we get closer to the fest.

I was just re-reading this post and that was kind of an unnecessary cheap shot I took at WAS, wasn't it? My Hollywood Undead-related anger got the best of me, sorry guys. You are decent enough blog rock and were kinda funny on "Best Week Ever." My bad.

Posted by: David | July 24, 2008 3:38 PM

Oh man, those guys are probably awesome. It's like Gene Simmons always says, you can't be a good band unless you put your appearance first! Those grunge bands were just whining in flannel shirts! I bet Hollywood Ondead puts on a SHOW!

Posted by: Carl | July 24, 2008 4:17 PM

are they related to Slipknot?

Posted by: Ajay | July 24, 2008 6:02 PM

You guys are crazy if you think HU won't put on a good show, if you believe that, evidently you're not familiar with them.

It's really erroneous to assume that they're going to be garbage if you haven't heard them.

Look at how many plays they have, why would people keep listening to it if they're bad?

I've been listening to HU for ages, and every song is a hit. People eat it up, they devour whatever they put out.

Who is the author of this post, anyway? Is he/she in their mid-forties?

"Namely, the band is beyond terrible and it must harbor some sort of community to make itself relevant."

You must not be very young [see above],which is likely the result of this blatant bias, but you'll learn. Soon enough.

Regarding the quote: "Oh yeah, this band that has never played a show before."

They have rehearsed and they have been doing it since last year, which was when their album was supposed to come out before issues surfaced, so drop the nasty assumptions and put a little faith in the people that will soon have the majority of the voting poll.


Posted by: Timothy P Todd | July 25, 2008 1:58 AM

or they could just limit entries to, you know, competent bands that have, you know, played actual shows before.

oh, and i'm looking forward to your bob-dylan-on-a-bad-day description. i have never been so disappointed in a concert in my life as last time i saw bob the soul-sucked zombie with throat cancer. i went home and cried.

Posted by: Hoodrat | July 25, 2008 9:42 AM

At least if they're playing the Virgin Festival, during their set they can't be robbing any convenience stores, which looks like what they would otherwise be doing...

Posted by: Jay-El | July 25, 2008 11:48 AM

Got me a story didn't it

Posted by: Seth Hurwitz | July 25, 2008 1:03 PM

One important thing would be to get the facts straight. Hollywood Undead actually won the contest by 53% due to text messages sent in by the fans.

"As far as we're concerned, this year's contest was won on the cell phone, with Hollywood Undead ramping up a huge campaign to get over 186,485 text votes...
" said Ron Faris of Virgin Mobile

Posted by: Skittle | August 1, 2008 4:39 PM

I love how you guys automatically just stereo-type them. Prejudice much? Lil Wayne is going to be there too. Would you like to make a comment about him as well? Firstly, they won majority of the votes through text messages. Don't judge their music when you know nothing about it. They are diverse in the way their music flows and if you listen to the messages in the song, you'll understand why they are loved so much. Your apology is accepted, just don't be so quick to judge. :]


Posted by: Chloe | August 3, 2008 9:32 AM

Wow... This was a very harsh article. It sounds like this was written by someone who is without a lot of knowledge of the band "Hollywood Undead". 400,000 friends? Way off. Never played a show? Wrong again.

I would not have posted against another persons opinion but since this article lacks any knowledge on the subject I couldn't resist.

No, I'm not a journalist, however, I do know that when writing on a topic with an argumentative point of view, the writer should have solid research and facts on what they are talking about.

Posted by: Steve | August 10, 2008 4:45 PM

Where are the responses from these people now that they put on their "show" only to expose themselves as a waste of space because I guess they never figured out you can't sing while wearing a mask that has a mouth that doesn't move.

Posted by: Scott | August 18, 2008 10:14 AM

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