The JoBros Get Waxed

Madame Tussauds is a mad house. We arrive as part of the Jonas Brothers caravan, greeted by shrieks and screams and general mayhem.

Since our van is following the JoBros and has tinted windows, some of the girls think we're them. One of them looks into the window and sees my knockoff Joe Jonas sunglasses and generally disheveled hair and starts screaming. Insanely.

Yes, I was actually mistaken for a Jonas Brother.

I quickly take off my sunglasses, the girls calm down and I add to the growing list of times I've disappointed females.

Inside the museum, everyone is gathered and waiting for the big wax figure unveiling. About 100 pubescent girls and a couple dozen puzzled press members are in attendance. Every few minutes a loud shriek goes up. The shrieks are more painful than you can imagine. I spend much of my time listening to music with horrible, shrieking feedback and I'll just say this: "I Heard Her Call My Name" by the Velvet Underground has nothing on squealing JoBros fans.

Finally, the big moment arrives: The curtain comes down and there they are - Triple Bonus Jonas! The girls ratchet the screaming up to a new level. Freedom wasn't joking about the 120 decibels. Unreal.

Kevin hams it up for the camera, putting his arm around the neck of his wax likeness. Joe is in the middle and is probably wondering why his figure is wearing a pink shirt. Nick looks like he'd much rather be golfing or making out with Selena Gomez or doing anything but standing next to a creepily lifelike wax version of himself. Photographers are getting unruly.

"Stop pushing! What the hell is your problem?!" one yells at another.

The boys have been standing next to their figures for three full minutes now and have pretty much done everything there is to be done, so they are whisked away with the help of bodyguard Big Rob. (It's a fitting nickname, believe me.) We fight through a few dozen fans back into our van, avoid the crazed girls running in the middle of the street by the JoBros van and head off to the pit of despair that is Nissan Pavilion.

-- DAVID MALITZ

By J. Freedom du Lac |  August 18, 2008; 2:26 PM ET Fakery , Fanaticism , Randomness
Previous: All Hail The Tweens: JoBros At The White House | Next: VFest Scores More Points Than All Points West

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Don't complain about Nissan too much, at least it's not supposed to rain tonight...

Posted by: Hemisphire | August 18, 2008 3:44 PM

No, they'll just be armaggedeon on I-66 as 21 thousand shreiking 13 year olds mixed with 1000 suffering parents cram into rush hour.

This is so totaly a polar opposite of the crowd and show at Nissan yesterday. Wow. Well, maybe nottoally for the adults. I'm sure a few will be looking to get as blitzed as some of the crowd yesterday.

Posted by: EricS | August 18, 2008 4:44 PM

God I hate these kids

Get a hair cut losers

no talent A$$ clowns

They are all ugly

Posted by: JJ | August 18, 2008 8:50 PM

What's up with all of the Jonas Brothers coverage lately? There's been like 6 stories in the past few days! You all are really milking this story as much as you can...there are other things going on in music!

Posted by: around | August 18, 2008 9:04 PM

Who the hell are the Jonas Brothers?

Posted by: NotThatOld | August 19, 2008 11:44 AM

where the hell do u live? under a rock?
cmmon everybody knows who are the jb
the best band ever!!!

and theyre not uggly but theyre wax figures are :S im sooo dissapointed! joe's figure is the worst its creepy and his hair is too long, it looks nothing like him and that sucks cuz he is my favorite :(

and i dont think he was wondering why his figure is wearing pink AT ALL! cuz he wears pink and it's hot!!! i think he was thinkin that it doesnt look like him!! the same everybody thinks!
and that comment about nick and selena gomez is rude and unrespectful!

Posted by: itsabouttime<3 | August 19, 2008 5:15 PM

If you situate the Kevin statue so he's looking into a mirror, he will melt in disgust. Because he's so ugly.

Posted by: Gary | August 19, 2008 7:09 PM

Which one is the hot and/or cute one again? I can't tell.
I see Bob Dylan, Sanjaya, and Tom Hanks. But to be fair, Bob's jewry-curl is magnificent.

Posted by: Mr. Rubino | August 19, 2008 9:56 PM

ok seriously it was not cool how you guys were just sitting in the van laughing at us in the end! But it did help that you were mistaken for the jonas brothers because those of us that didn't come running toward you actually got in. And it was only 50 people who got in but there werelike 200 girls out there!

Posted by: Nina | August 21, 2008 10:43 AM

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