Vote for Me: I'm Endorsed by Kids!
I came home last night to a big stack of mail, almost all of it fliers for candidates in the Sept. 12 primary elections. The verbiage in these ads is not exactly notable: I learned that candidates variously
--want "to make our government more responsive,"
--"helped save taxpayer money,"
--have "real-world experience,"
--champion "real change,"
--have "been a leader,"
--are "putting families first,"
--have "a real plan,"
--"will fight for public safety,"
--and are "getting results."
But we knew all that. What stood out as I pored through the stack of fliers was the number of candidates who thought it would be awfully helpful to voters if we could see photos of the candidates surrounding themselves with, sitting with, and being stared at by...children.
Judging from the looks of the kids in all these photos, few if any of them are actually related to the various candidates. Nor are they likely to be registered voters, though in the District, at least, you never really know. These children do not appear to have parents nearby. Rather, the kids seem to spend their time with political candidates, watching the candidates page through books, point at computer screens, or sign documents. The kids, rather unlike my own offspring and their friends, seem utterly captivated by these activities. I have decided to suggest to my kids that next time they offer that they are "bored," we should ring up some political candidates, who will be only too happy to pop over and stand around and smile with them.
At first, I was cynical enough to think that perhaps hanging around with random children was not exactly the activity I was looking for in my next mayor, council member or member of Congress. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that these are indeed the candidates I should punch my ballot for: These are the politicians who will not waste their time and my money passing new laws, taxes and other restrictions on the behavior of citizens. No, these are the politicians who stand ready to solve our nation's child care problem. If elected, they will take kids off the dangerous streets and enrich their lives with long days of smiling in semi-circles, searching for empty classrooms in which they can stare at blackboards together, and sitting down to examine large stacks of documents.
My mail helped me so much: I am now prepared for Election Day. And this time, I'm bringing the whole family to the polls--hey, maybe my candidates will be there, ready to take delivery of the kids.
By Marc Fisher |
September 1, 2006; 7:28 AM ET
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