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B-Lloyd = Ade Jimoh?/TCCLs (All Hail The Nuge)

(First of all, wanted to post a disclaimer. TCCLs are definitely back, still on Fridays, and I wrote them yesterday and had them ready to post ... but then Loseable Type went all wacky it seems, cuz it like ate my post. So, here goes again. Also, wanted to get up here again that Marcus Washington's hip is fine - the tests showed nothing but some fatigue, and Malcolm Kelly, LaRon Landry and Todd Wade are out. Okay, let's try this again.)

The text arrived at 10:41Thursday evening, like a thunderclap in the middle of the night. It was simple and concise, yet at the same time both shocking and unbelievable. "B Lloyd just blocked a punt," was the message sent to me from Brandon Johnson, one of my best friends, who lives in Chicago and was watching the Bears preseason game (the wide receiver is attempting to make that team).

Surely, this was a joke. I was waist-deep in packing materials, bound in a cocoon of bubble wrap with half of the kitchen seemingly now stuck to my cargo shorts (damn you, sticky tape). With no means for verifying this information through other channels, I reached for the phone to type out a response. "R U (bleeeing) me?" I sent back to Brandon (Johnson, not Lloyd). In a matter of seconds I had my response: "Swear to god." Brandon wrote back.

There was much to ponder. First of all, B-Lloyd was playing special teams! Get out! That alone caused a double take. Then, on top of that, he was seemingly giving out maximum effort on a punt cover unit of all things. Again, this ran totally counter to anything we saw in two seasons here. (Somewhere, in a parallel universe, surely Gardner, Rod was making simultaneous one-handed catches in the back of an end zone).

Then, I had an epiphany. I knew the Bears were playing a Bay Area team, but I couldn't remember which one (between doing this job, the family and trying to coordinate a move and two settlements, well, let's just say there's not a lot of spare time to study the exhibition schedule these days). Could it be possible it was the Raiders? Isn't that where Arch Deluxe is now? And wasn't AD the personal protector on the punt team with the Skins?

For a second there I felt the circumference of my head expand. Suddenly my Red Sox hat felt too snug. I broke out in a full-body sweat. This confluence of events - the perfect storm - could it actually cause my head to explode? I began to drag myself out of the kitchen, into the living room, toward the TV. After prying myself free from the hardwood a few times - the tape works better on everything other than a box, apparently - I snatched the remote, turned to ESPNews and was saved by the scroll at the bottom of the screen: Bears/49ers. Order was restored (although the fact that Lloyd was playing his former team, San Fran, could explain the curious turn of events as well.

This morning, I got out of the shower to see that others, too, had survived the night. Jerry Coleman, former Skins beat reporter for 980, was shaken, but generally okay. "Did you see B-Lloyd block that punt?" he sent. I had to respond that in fact, I am going to avoid the highlights and YouTube and all of that stuff. I'm not sure, with all that's going on, that I could handle actually seeing it. It's probably best left as something of an abstract concept, like Sasquatch (true fact: if you google B-Lloyd and Sasquatch it actually brings up two pertinent hits, both from extremeskins threads).

I did check the receiving stats for the preseason, though. Lloyd did not have a catch in the game last night, and has five grabs for 56 yards in three games this preseason. Now, the Bears aren't exactly overflowing with offensive talent, so maybe he sticks around no matter what (making the league minimum with a $40,000 workout bonus and no up-front money should help his cause as well). And if the receiving thing doesn't work out, maybe he re-emerges as a special teams ace, the Ade Jimoh of offense? Stranger things have happened. Maybe. Possibly? Okay, probably not.

Anyway, on to the TCCLS:

Infinity TCCLs: Mike Nugent. We lauded Skins CB Matteral Richardson for his late-game INT in the HOF Game a few weeks back, thus preventing what should already be forbidden under federal law, with no statute of limitations: Preseason Overtime. Just typing those two words makes me dry heave. But, Nugent, the Jets kicker, took it to a whole 'nother level over the weekend.

With the Jets trailing the Skins, 13-10, New York drove deep into the red zone, had some dude drop what would have been one of the easiest TD catches of all time, and then Coach Eric "ManGenius" Mangini, calls on Nugent to attempt the 23-yard chip shot (essentially a PAT) to tie the game in the final seconds and likely provoke at least one media schlub to hurl his or her self from the press box atop Giants Stadium in a brave exhibition of hari kari that hopefully would prompt the mandatory federal legislation required to prevent this from ever having to happen again. I, for one, having already endured a 4-1/2 hour car trip up to the Swamp that day (Delaware, get your act together, I-95 belongs to us all; stop messing it up for the rest of us), and facing a brutal drive back home, was on the phone with my insurance guy and seriously considering taking one for the team.

So what does Nugent do? The only humane thing possible. He clanks it off the left upright. Brilliant. Dude was willing to jeopardize his career to save us all. Now that's genius. All the schlubs are going to pitch in and buy Nugent's Jets jersey and hang it in the media room at Redskins Park. (Could be quite a few of those going on sale at half price in New York come cut day). Nugent is a legend with us, forever. Elfin is going to start the Hall of Fame campaign next week. Nugent is, unquestionably, my all-time sports hero, and I'm not sure I could ever truly repay him for the gift he gave me last Saturday night.

Out of respect for Nugent (Can we call him, The Nuge? Do you think he would be cool with that?), there will be no more positive TCCLs this week. It's the right thing to do.

Even TCCLs: Jon Jansen. I thought he showed much better against the Jets. Had problems handling the outside LBs on a few plays, going against that 3-4 scheme, but did a nice job on the ends. Again, he is by far the best option available and this will be a big game for him Saturday facing Carolina's front four - and possibly a lot of Julius Peppers - for an entire half.

-30 TCCLS: Young hamstrings. LaRon Landry's, minor hamstring "tweak" has now kept him out a month, and there's no assurances he will play next Thursday against Jacksonville. He'd better be boning up big-time in the film rooms, because that's where he needs to make the biggest gains coming off a nice rookie year (dude is an absolute beast on the field and has everything going for him in terms of aggression, speed, size, requisite hatred of the opposing offense, etc, but needs to become more of a student of the game). He could be the complete package over time, but defensive coordinator Greg Blache made it clear that a layoff such as this certainly "retards" his growth.

To that end, Coach Zorn continued to let it be known that rookie WRs Devin Thomas (who missed three weeks or so with a hamstring), and Malcolm Kelly (out basically a month now with hamstring/knee issues) will be of little use to him in any base packages early in the season. Both are way behind from a mental and physical standpoint and playing catch-up. I'd be shocked if Kelly played against Carolina, giving him just one preseason game - and likely he'd play just a half or so - before the real thing starts. Heck, given all of that I could conceivably see him not even being active in Week 1 - an early-week Thursday game - with others more fully vested in the offense and able to provide more on special teams.

-90 TCCLs: Delaware. Yeah, I'm double-hating on them, but you guys cost me 90 minutes of gridlock on a Saturday afternoon for whatever construction was going on there. And even if that state is actually not to blame, well, I'm blaming it anyway (by the way - I can not even imagine what Delaware brings in from the tolls on that tiny stretch of 95 in any given year. The fares seem to rise by the second. The yearly haul must surpass the GDP of Estonia).

That traffic stuff's gotta be cleared up by Sept. 4 when the Skins play the Giants on a Thursday night. That's an actual workday with a real rush hour. Guess I leave the house at sunrise. And there's no Nuge Factor at play in that season-opening tilt, so get your act together Delawarians. (Delawasotans? Delawarons? Delawarites? Okay, I'll stop now.).

By Jason La Canfora  |  August 23, 2008; 10:55 AM ET
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Unrestricted: Recapping a Rough Day
Next: Who's Out of Tonight's Game



Posted by: nads guy | August 23, 2008 11:15 AM | Report abuse

God I hate B Lloyd.

Here's hoping there are no injuries tonight! *knocks on wood*

Posted by: SantanaClaus89 | August 23, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

So if the Panthers' starters are only going to play for 2 quarters, all the Skins have to do is control the ball on offense for 30 mins. Jansen won't have to worry about Peppers then. My projection though is that Peppers won't get a sack. He'll have like 12 or 13 guys blocking him.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 23, 2008 11:26 AM | Report abuse

Wow! 20 mins of dead time between Jason's post and the first post by nads guy. Everyone must still be in shock over the Biden selection.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 23, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

After prying myself free from the hardwood a few times -

This takes on a whole other meaning if you make hardwood two words.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 23, 2008 11:31 AM | Report abuse


Just to reconfirm what Mr La Canfora is stating about how ineptly Delaware is run, I just want you to remember one thing:
Joe Biden is from Delaware.

McCain-Huckabee 2008

Posted by: John McCain | August 23, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

Anyone got a computer link for tonight's game?

Posted by: Out of Area | August 23, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

Surely he couldn't have blocked a punt because that implies, well, effort. Perhaps it was a low punt that was three feet off the ground and accidently hit Lloyd.

Posted by: Mr Shneably | August 23, 2008 12:11 PM | Report abuse


Just to reconfirm what Mr La Canfora is stating about how ineptly Delaware is run, I just want you to remember one thing:
Joe Biden is from Delaware.

McCain-Huckabee 2008

Posted by: John McCain | August 23, 2008 11:33 AM

Pulling out the hammer. Smack to the back of your damn head. Hell no! Bush has done enough damage.

Posted by: jm220 | August 23, 2008 12:13 PM | Report abuse

1. Not the place for politics.

2. JLC, I've never been a HUGE fan, but I am now. Traffic in Delaware has been ridiculous for years. I hate that state! Down with Delaware, up with Puerto Rico (so we can still have 50 stars on the flag).

Posted by: GHF | August 23, 2008 12:18 PM | Report abuse

Posted by: Mr Shneably | August 23, 2008 12:11 PM
"Actually it's Shneablaaaay"

It was pretty dead in here last Saturday too if I remember correctly. Exactly how much work is actually being done during these posts Mon thru Fri?

Posted by: Hanni Montani | August 23, 2008 12:26 PM | Report abuse

People can say what the want about Bolt. The kid is giving $50,0000 to China's earthquake victims. I am a big fan now.

Posted by: jm220 | August 23, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

Yes, Jasno, we are Delawarians, and we are proud of just about everything our little state has to offer.......except our little stretch of I-95. I do believe the morons who designed the little 15 miles between MD and PA have been drawn and quartered. Having said that, if you go north through the state for the 9/4 game, you should be pretty safe any time between 10am and 3pm. Just be sure t get easy pass; greatest thing since sliced bread.

Posted by: dlhaze | August 23, 2008 12:48 PM | Report abuse

This is one of Jasno's best posts ever. Love it.

Posted by: P Diddy | August 23, 2008 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Stop hating on B Lloyd. He was finding himself while he was here in Washington.

It takes all of us a bit to find ourselves ;-)

Posted by: Skip in VA | August 23, 2008 1:01 PM | Report abuse's called "the train", stop whining about Delaware!

Posted by: P-rock | August 23, 2008 1:15 PM | Report abuse

Bolt rulz
boring funless limp dik haters drool

Posted by: chrIS lArry | August 23, 2008 1:36 PM | Report abuse

The beer has started flowing early today, huh CL?

Posted by: CBT | August 23, 2008 1:50 PM | Report abuse

no way! sober as a stone....!!!

Posted by: chrIS lArry | August 23, 2008 1:54 PM | Report abuse

So I ask again, anyone know of a computer link that will be showing the game tonight?

Posted by: Out of Area | August 23, 2008 2:53 PM | Report abuse

I cannot believe Jason LaCantreporta gets paid to do this for a living....and this is what we get.

Posted by: isnadd | August 23, 2008 3:02 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: Anonymous | August 23, 2008 3:31 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: Anonymous | August 23, 2008 3:33 PM | Report abuse

Hey, I thought it was nicely written. I didn't double check but neither did there seem to be any misssspppelllled werds - and on such a long post, too!

My vote is for Delawarons.

Posted by: charlie | August 23, 2008 3:40 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: Anonymous | August 23, 2008 3:47 PM | Report abuse

At the golf course, of course.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 23, 2008 3:52 PM | Report abuse

JLC, you just became Mr. Irrelevant!

What a waste of a post....No drinking on the job please!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 23, 2008 3:56 PM | Report abuse

SMACK - I don't know bout I would say that person would be young, pretty/handsome, and remotely possibly might posses star power to a certain level, ala Edwards 4 years ago....

Posted by: 4th | August 23, 2008 4:00 PM | Report abuse usually will give you a play by play game tracker during the regular season, not sure about pre-season. You can listen to the game online at usually does game tracker as well. It's not hard man...

Posted by: Anotherwes | August 23, 2008 4:05 PM | Report abuse

Hey Jason, nice game from Boston today! Jon Mo-Lester, meet Vernon Wells.

Posted by: Red Sux | August 23, 2008 4:39 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: Hugh G. Shlong | August 23, 2008 4:58 PM | Report abuse

So my dad lives south of Charlotte. My nephew and him are going to the game tonight. They had tickets for the upper tier. They just called me and told me that a neighbor gave them 2 tickets for section 132 (field level 45 yard line). I'm soooo envious. I can't even watch the game.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 23, 2008 5:00 PM | Report abuse

Brandon LLoyd punt block:

Posted by: JPS | August 23, 2008 5:24 PM | Report abuse

Packing Tape is to Duck Tape, as Receiver, The, is to The Nuge. One does everything except the job it's sposed to. The other solves problems it wasn't designed for.

Posted by: SonofNero | August 23, 2008 5:27 PM | Report abuse


Hi. My name is Skippy and I have a mental plate in my head. I live with my Mamma and the Twins of my dead sister. I really really like Lemon Meringue Pie.

Well it’s the first to last game of the pre-season, one which Skippy always looks forward to posthumously with great crepitation. The coaches never wants to have to have injuries, yet players must play because they need to prepare to get ready for the beginning of the start of the season.

Several key positions are at steak. At wild receiver, none of the receivers the Redskims picked after a few draughts have come through in the crutch. Marvin Kelly had to have surgery on his wounded knee, which he still doesn’t have for walking porpoises. Meanwhile, tight friend Fred Davis is still looking for an Alarm Cock for which to wake up his talent. Drebin Thomas, on the other hand.

The Redskims also suffer a lack of shortage in the linebacker deportment, of which they have many too few, some of who were hurt during injuries. Rocky Marciano have been coming back since he had his sacrilege regrooved. Middle Linebackoff London Calling is still stale and wealthy, thank the Good Word. Marcus Washington has a hip but apparently not much of one. All the rest are hurt or dead or recovering.

The other big contretemps is between the punter. Durwood Frost is the recumbent, while Our Miss Brooks is the Upstark. The eventual winner and or loser will be settled by a kickoff which doesn’t make sense since punters don’t kick off. What up with that, dog?

Anyway more answers will be questioned by this time tomorrow, before five players have it cut off.



Posted by: Skippy | August 23, 2008 5:29 PM | Report abuse

Okay, this will be the first preseason game I can't get on TV. Any ideas on how else to catch the game? Maybe online?

Posted by: scampbell1975 | August 23, 2008 5:31 PM | Report abuse

How can people hate on Delaware, even given the nightmare that is I-95? It's so tiny, like a little kitten.
I'm not sure where that came from .... perhaps because I watched rhythmic gymnastics and synchronized swimming today. I can't, for the live of me, decide which is more hideous.
Let there be fubball.

Posted by: Cindy | August 23, 2008 5:37 PM | Report abuse

Vagas Ferguson...

...Skins could have picked him up in the 1st round in the 1980 draft. He was an All-American RB who finished 5th in voting for the Heisman.

My buddies and I were spittin' mad that he was passed over. His name was cool enough in our books that the Skins should have drafted him. Instead, we drafted some 'No Name' from Syracuse...

Posted by: seanc | August 22, 2008 2:36 PM
Now that is a GREAT post!
I was a junior in HS and followed the draft and recall thinking "Art Monk?, who is he?"

Hey, true story, the next year I was a SR in HS. I was following the coaching search very closely. When they hired the new coach I was upset! I wanted a winner, not some guy who had never been a head coach anywhere in Football.

Imagine how many times I said "I told you" when the next season he started out 0-5!!

He turned it around we finished 8-8, and I remember thinking "next year we might be in the playoffs".

Little did I know!!!!
Thanks, Joe Jackson Gibbs!

Posted by: RedskinRay1 | August 23, 2008 5:39 PM | Report abuse

Tonight's game will be shown on NFL network tomorrow at 1:00pm (ET). Not as good as live but better than nothing.

Posted by: ga_will | August 23, 2008 5:46 PM | Report abuse

Del has some good things going for it, no sales tax, ironically thats the reason for their poor roads. Still not as bad as Jersey, by far the most useless and evil stats in the union.

Posted by: Alex35332 | August 23, 2008 5:52 PM | Report abuse

Very humorous post by Jason - well done!!

Posted by: Mark in 21132 | August 23, 2008 5:58 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of ones that got away -

We should have never gotten rid of George Allen...those Jack Pardee years were horrible.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 22, 2008 3:42 PM
This post reveals what can happen to us over the years. The facts do get distorted.
George Allen never had a losing season yes, but he stripped the team of draft choices always trying to fill holes. We did not make the playoffs two of his last three years the future looked bleak.

Enter Pardee and Beathard
Pardee's teams were
8-8, 10-6 and 6-10 [24-24]
Horrible? well, 1980 was horrible as the Skins were 3-10 before winning their last three games.

Pardee was not horrible but being .500 his teams were very average.

Pardee unfortunately for him, followed Allen who took us to SB and preceded Gibbs who went to 4 SB and won 3 SB, and only had one losing season in twelve!

Posted by: RedskinRay1 | August 23, 2008 5:59 PM | Report abuse

Either someone dislikes Jim Carrey or the Wapo doesn't subscribe to the First Amendment rights. Censorship. Weak.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 23, 2008 6:00 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: Cindy | August 23, 2008 6:26 PM | Report abuse

Hey Everybody,
This is hilarious.
Today Obama actually said "I introduce you to the next President [paused realizing his error, but keeping a straight face to look unraveled] the next Vice President of the United States of America"

It was hilarious!

Posted by: RedskinRay1 | August 23, 2008 6:47 PM | Report abuse

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