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CP = Napoleon Dynamite

Portis came dressed up today, fresh off his first 100-yard game of the season and with the team on a two-game winning streak. This time he didn't invent the alter-ego, just barrowed one from cinema.

I'll give him credit, the dude had Napoleon Dynamite down. He had the tight Wranglers on, in some hideous cut from the 80s, and some awful black moon boots. Portis was sporting a ruffled blond wig and some wire-rimmed shades and, for the kicker, had on a t-shirt that said:

VOTE

FOR

SANTANA

It was just like the VOTE FOR PEDRO deal that Nap wore in the movie. Portis spoke with a slight, high voice, just like the character. He dropped a few Uncle Rico bombs during his responses to questions and joked about needing someone to take to the prom. When asked if LaVar might be a fitting date this weekend, Portis/ND said something about LaVar not being a lady, so he had to look elsewhere.

So there you have it. All's well in Redskins Country. We're now back to abnormal on Thursdays, which, well, is really the norm.

By Jason La Canfora  |  October 5, 2006; 2:52 PM ET
 
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Comments

Classic. Can't wait to see clips of it. Everything is back to normal if CP is back to uhmm...dressing up.

Posted by: Megskin | October 5, 2006 2:59 PM | Report abuse

Portis dressing up, means the team is loose, and a loose team plays better. I think this is a GREAT sign. The Giants are going to be pressing, and are on the verge of a team mutiny. Go to a hard count, and draw LA offsides about 4-5 times.

Posted by: Greg (Boston) | October 5, 2006 3:01 PM | Report abuse

Come on JLC this post requires at least one pic.

Posted by: Biggs | October 5, 2006 3:01 PM | Report abuse

Someone has to post the video link. All my boys here in Jersey are on the floor with laughter.

Posted by: jm220 | October 5, 2006 3:08 PM | Report abuse

AWESOME. Though let's be careful. Clinton Dynamite might meet the same grave as S.E. Jerome (may he rest in peace).

Posted by: Rage | October 5, 2006 3:09 PM | Report abuse

I can't wait to see the video on Redskins.com

Posted by: Rob | October 5, 2006 3:21 PM | Report abuse

A-MAZE-ING!

Posted by: Barno | October 5, 2006 3:21 PM | Report abuse

Can I declare a full on MANCRUSH on Clinton Portis to all of you?

This is just between you guys and me though, alright? I don't want any of you running out and telling my girlfriend about this.

Thanks

Posted by: Bucktown Skins Fan | October 5, 2006 3:24 PM | Report abuse

Do you regular bloggers ever work?

Posted by: A Dog | October 5, 2006 3:26 PM | Report abuse

We technically get paid to work but we aren't really working while were here. My priorities in life have work a few levels below God and the Redskins.

Jason, you do need to get a picture thing going on. Got a price on the VOTE FOR SANTANA shirts yet? $10? You could get one for Chloe... a little more "child friendly" than a REAPER shirt. That'd mess up a kid quick.

Posted by: Dorf | October 5, 2006 3:27 PM | Report abuse

Man Crushes are absosmurfly appropriate IMO. I call for a blog ruling on this.

Where you gonna run today Clinton?

"Wherever I feel like I wanna run...GOSH"

Posted by: ArtMonkToTheSticks | October 5, 2006 3:29 PM | Report abuse

It's DALOMITE JENKINS. A pic of him is up on the Skins site.

Posted by: Rob | October 5, 2006 3:29 PM | Report abuse

This is so sweet. Brilliant.

Posted by: Wes Mantooth | October 5, 2006 3:31 PM | Report abuse

Do you regular bloggers ever work?

No, we just squat here, hitting reload over and over and over again, until it's time to poke at the keyboard like dazed monkeys. It's really annoying that the rest of you don't post more. Us regulars have to make for your slacking. Get out and help push dagnabbit!


Posted by: Megskin | October 5, 2006 3:31 PM | Report abuse

Clinton Dynamite

Posted by: Bucktown Skins Fan | October 5, 2006 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Sorry guys, the hyperlink didn't work. Copy and paste instead:

http://www.redskins.com/news/newsDetail.jsp?id=20555

Posted by: Bucktown Skins Fan | October 5, 2006 3:39 PM | Report abuse

Thanks ArtMonkToTheSticks. I feel better about my manhood now.

Guess the hyperlink worked the second time.

Posted by: Bucktown Skins Fan | October 5, 2006 3:47 PM | Report abuse

Do you regular bloggers ever work?

I have always had a problem with delegation. That is, until this blog came around. I think it will be a model for future leadership classes.

The people that work for me are now doing more than enough to make me look busy!

Posted by: Art Monk HOF 2007 | October 5, 2006 3:49 PM | Report abuse

Art Monk is right. You all must rule. We'll call it Blog Law.

Posted by: Jason's editor | October 5, 2006 3:50 PM | Report abuse

>>> "Do you regular bloggers ever work?"

I'm a semi-retired nerd, full-time writer. I consider writing blog replies a form of searching for my muse. Along with tequila and Dom Perignon.

Posted by: P Diddy | October 5, 2006 3:59 PM | Report abuse

Dom Perignon? Wasn't he in Smokey and the Bandit?

Posted by: Art Monk HOF 2007 | October 5, 2006 4:01 PM | Report abuse

Ruling: Mancrushes are what makes us stronger men. "We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together"

Work?...are you kidding?...with a blog like this?

Posted by: bornafan | October 5, 2006 4:02 PM | Report abuse

Nice. But remember the last time he dressed up before a game in NY -- SE Jerome and Co. lost 36-0. Let's hope that was a one time thing.

Posted by: Borat | October 5, 2006 4:03 PM | Report abuse

And I have no qualms as a straight man about saying that I love Clinton Portis. You gotta love a dude with personality.

Posted by: P Diddy | October 5, 2006 4:03 PM | Report abuse

Well, it's offical then. If you can beat them, blog them to death.

Did anybody read where Saunder's said he was upset Portis was taking himself out when he felt like it (express)? The article refered to a 3rd and 1 when Portis took himself out late in the 4th and Betts did not get the 1st (but got the field goal. Saunders said was not too happy......

I'm fine with pulling yourself out, unless it is at the end of a crucial game when you are tring to score (TDs, not FGs). Do any of you fanatics feel the same?

BTW - Just got caugt by my boss blogging while writing this. You guys are already getting me in trouble.....

Posted by: A Dog | October 5, 2006 4:07 PM | Report abuse

The 7 dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the dark distance a voice screams out "The Giants are good enough to win the Super Bowl." Snow White says "Thank God - at least Dopey's still alive!"

Posted by: X.Hog | October 5, 2006 4:09 PM | Report abuse

JLC, I know that Clinton said last year that a lot of people started sending in costumes and ideas.

Can we pitch some here on the blog? Maybe get him to do one for us?

I'm going to start: Clinton Portis as State Trooper Arcot Ramathorn and Chris Cooley as State Trooper Rodney Farva, AKA Car RamRod.

"Say Car RamRod... say Car RamRod."

"Oh... I forgot."

Posted by: Bucktown Skins Fan | October 5, 2006 4:10 PM | Report abuse

bornafan: great quote.

"What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay."

Posted by: P Diddy | October 5, 2006 4:10 PM | Report abuse

Seeing that brings tears to my eyes.

I'm in a glass case of emotion.

Posted by: Skinz | October 5, 2006 4:12 PM | Report abuse

Q: How do you kill a NY Giants fan when he's been drinking?

A: Slam the toilet seat on his head.

Posted by: X.Hog | October 5, 2006 4:16 PM | Report abuse

Great Odin's raven!

Posted by: Jason's editor | October 5, 2006 4:20 PM | Report abuse

Son of a beesting, that's funny.

Posted by: Jason's editor | October 5, 2006 4:24 PM | Report abuse

Hilarious stuff - Ever hear of the prairie dog effect? I was laughing so loudly at some of these comments that my work buddies living in cubicle land pop their heads over their cubicle walls to see wassup - like prairie dogs peering out of their holes.

Posted by: Just Me | October 5, 2006 4:24 PM | Report abuse

i just want to thank monk to the sticks for the earlier link to the highlite films. it goes without saying i got goosebumps and promptly forwarded to friends and family.

Hail.

Posted by: jd in vb | October 5, 2006 4:30 PM | Report abuse

Ok.... CP is now officially my favorite Redskin..... this guy has an awesome sense of humor. I gotta admit that when he first came to Washington I wasn't to taken by his seemingly huge ego. Which I incorrectly attributed to all the Miami guys on the roster. I have to come clean and admit I was horribly wrong about these guys. Not only about CP but also Moss as well..... although he has always been kindof a quiet guy.... I had my reservations....... I guess that's why Joe Gibbs is the man and I'm just a lowly blogger!

Now if the guys in the secondary can step it up this week (and for the rest of the season) we may have a shot at going deep in the playoffs! Woohooo :-)

Posted by: Mucus Membrane | October 5, 2006 4:31 PM | Report abuse

You guys are killin' me. I keep wondering what I'm gonna do after the seasons over. Dolomite Jenkins will be gettin his shwerve on come Sunday. Beleedat.

Posted by: Pulldownclaw | October 5, 2006 4:32 PM | Report abuse

Video is up on Redskins.com

Posted by: Wes Mantooth | October 5, 2006 4:33 PM | Report abuse

NY Giants management had finally put together the perfect Giants team. The only thing missing was a good quarterback. They had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and couldn't find a quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win.

Then one night, watching CNN, they saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background they spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away! He threw another grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away! A car passes going 80 miles (120 km) an hour, and he send another grenade right into the barely open window. "We've got to get this guy. He has the perfect arm!"

So they bring him to the States and teach him the game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the Giants go on to win the SuperBowl.

The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of the SuperBowl, and when asked what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother.

"Mom," the young man says into the receiver, "I just won the SuperBowl."

"I don't want to talk to you, " the old woman says, "You deserted us. You're not my son."

"I don't think you understand, mother." the young man pleads, "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm in the middle of thousands of adoring fans."

"No, let me tell you," the mother implores. "At this very moment, there are gun shots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was attacked in broad daylight..."

The old lady pauses, then says through her tears, "I'll never forgive you for moving us to Jersey!"

Posted by: Anonymous | October 5, 2006 4:36 PM | Report abuse

Hilarious. I hope this joke is not copywrited.........

Posted by: A Dog | October 5, 2006 4:44 PM | Report abuse

There was a time, a time before free agency. When the local team reigned supreme. When people believed everything they heard in a press conference. This was an age when only real men were allowed to play ball. And in Washington, DC, one team was more man then the rest. Their name was The 'Skins. They were like gods walking amongst mere mortals.

Posted by: bornafan | October 5, 2006 4:52 PM | Report abuse

Man that video was classic. I am in tears from laughter. How could you not love this guy?

Posted by: jm220 | October 5, 2006 4:55 PM | Report abuse

Loosely transcripted from the video:

"Do you have anything you want the Giants to know? They'll see this, you know? Is there anything you want them to hear?"

"They can can vote for Santana too."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by: Bucktown Skins Fan | October 5, 2006 4:55 PM | Report abuse

Buck up, Pulldownclaw! It's only Week 5!!!! We'll be here through the Supe, even if we have to rename the blog....

Posted by: Jason's editor | October 5, 2006 4:59 PM | Report abuse

I am looking forward to the day before the SuperBowl!

Posted by: Art Monk HOF 2007 | October 5, 2006 5:08 PM | Report abuse

Anyone remember when the Skins rolled into NY and Stephen Davis had 3 TDs in the first half? We're due for something big this weekend...

Posted by: Nickels | October 5, 2006 5:12 PM | Report abuse

In response to Bucktown Skins fan having a mancrush on Clinton Portis, my boyfriend told me that if it came down to a choice between marrying Clinton Portis or me, he hoped I would understand.

And I would.

As long as he would understand if it came down to Clinton Portis or him.

Posted by: Skins Gal | October 5, 2006 5:22 PM | Report abuse

Skins Gal you know that is just not right.lol

Posted by: jm220 | October 5, 2006 5:24 PM | Report abuse

Did anyone catch LeVar on 980 with Big John?

Posted by: jm220 | October 5, 2006 5:28 PM | Report abuse

LaVar Update!
After saying he didn't want to talk about the Redskins, guess what, he talked about the Redskins. The funniest thing was that he said he kept his Redskins playbook when he left the team. "I do have my playbook," he said. "If I don't understand it, I'm sure Coach Coughlin can decipher it."
Reached for comment, Dale Lindsey said that the team keeps track of its playbooks but that LaVar could have copied it and that one thing was certain, LaVar had never read it.

Posted by: Jason's editor | October 5, 2006 5:42 PM | Report abuse

Stephen Davis
Champ Bailey
LaVar...

Free agency has really put a cramp in the side of hero worship.

Posted by: Art Monk HOF 2007 | October 5, 2006 5:44 PM | Report abuse

Skins Gal, that is hilarious! All the men should be so understanding.

Posted by: Diva | October 5, 2006 5:47 PM | Report abuse

Skinsgal, that should be the first tenent of Women Law.

Posted by: Jason's editor | October 5, 2006 6:25 PM | Report abuse

Watch Greg Williams' press conference on the Skins website....It's hilarious.

Posted by: Rob | October 5, 2006 6:26 PM | Report abuse

tell springs that the D is so pathetic he should be more worried about current players not understanding playbook.guess williams isnt as good a teacher as hes paid millions to be.you foolish fans have talked trash last couple years about great D,now whos laughing.

Posted by: Lavar | October 5, 2006 8:47 PM | Report abuse

I've missed you guys. Been traveling for work and Big Media cancelled two of my flight connections on Tuesday to Europe so it took awhile to get over here and back online.

Other than espn.com's gamecast is there another way to follow the game live on Sunday via the web? Does anyone know?

I was going to invest in a slingbox but never got around to it.

Posted by: Ali Haji Shank | October 6, 2006 7:20 AM | Report abuse

Oh Lavar... this coming from a guy who's defense is also giving up 30+ points per game. I don't think any of us are laughing on that side of the ball, my man.

Al Haji, I think NFL.com uses the CBS Sportsline feed, which updates box scores live.

Also, I think one of our West Coast peeps said something about listening to the internet radio broadcast out of DC. Don't know the URL for that though.

Posted by: Bucktown Skins Fan | October 6, 2006 8:33 AM | Report abuse

Ali Haji, I think you can listen to the game on the Triple X Radio. Go to redskins.com and follow the links to "listen live"....it should work; you should get sonny, sam, and loser crystal clear.

have a good time in Europa!

Posted by: K-Man | October 6, 2006 8:40 AM | Report abuse

Lavar,

How have you been? How's eastern motors doing? Can I have a car?

Also, perhaps you should worry about people hanging 30+ points on you a game and worry less about our d and more about Sellers coming and smacking you in the mouth.

Posted by: Skinz | October 6, 2006 8:53 AM | Report abuse

Thanks Bucktown and K-Man. Appreciate it.

Posted by: Ali Haji Shank | October 6, 2006 8:54 AM | Report abuse

Too bad Napoleon Dynamite was one of the worst movies ever made. It makes Jack Frost and Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman look like Oscar-worthy movies. Not to say that they already aren't, as they are classic cult films but....

Napoleon Dyamite just flat out stinks!

Posted by: Chief Clancy Wiggum | October 6, 2006 9:16 AM | Report abuse

Don't bust on the Nappy D now, that was the jam. Some people got it, some didn't. Some peeps wouldn't get my box set of Buck Rogers in the 21st Century. To each their own I say.

Posted by: Pulldownclaw | October 6, 2006 9:29 AM | Report abuse

you forget that big fat doughnut they fed us last year.im on otherside with a real team,not that overrated team that discards its best players.with the emotion on our side we will be sending you home making more excuses as usual.dink and doink only works when D misses tackles.we wont miss tackles,look forward to saying hi to brunell.get boohoo boxes ready.

Posted by: LAVAR | October 6, 2006 9:52 AM | Report abuse

Did y'all see L.A. on Comcast? What do you think that remark about Gibbs meant when he referred to him as part of the Trinity?

Posted by: A Dog | October 6, 2006 9:55 AM | Report abuse

No LaVar, we just get rid of players who can't read the playbook.

Be careful, with your expertise in typing and arguments, you'll be pulling Booferisms in no time.

Posted by: Megskin | October 6, 2006 9:58 AM | Report abuse

LaVar, as much of a hindrance he was in our defensive schemes these past couple of years, was totally screwed in his career with the Skins. Different defensive coordinators every year almost. That's just ridiculous. I'm sure he respects Gibbs and his proven track record, but he WAS treated like crap these past couple of years, not given the respect a veteran deserves, and his comments clearly reflect his frustration. I bet LA feels like the Redskins essentially ruined his career, cause he sure as hell knows it's not working out for him in NY.
I feel that the Skins coulda kept Arrington, Pierce, and Washington, and possibly had the NFL's best set of LBs.

But past is past...
time to kick some Giant a$$!!!

what's everyone else's take?

Posted by: K-Man | October 6, 2006 10:02 AM | Report abuse

Oh, Chief Clancy Wiggum... say it ain't so!! With a name like that, I thought you would be able to appreciate smart (off the wall) humor. Pulldownclaw speaks the truth, I guess: "To each his own..."

Lavar, you must have been busy planning more house parties with Julian Peterson last week instead of paying attention to the NFL. Dink and dunk was the Houston game. Brunell averaged almost 20 yards a pass last week.

Posted by: Bucktown Skins Fan | October 6, 2006 10:03 AM | Report abuse

Trinity referred to Vinny, Danny and Gibbs. He was saying that if Joe wanted him there he'd be there which is true.

Lavar,

True one of the times we played last year you blew us up. We put it on you last year too or perhaps you forgot. I'm not sure the Gmen of any team should be talking about blowouts.


As an avid Nittany Lion fan and Redskin fan trust me, no one loved you more than I did. But while Pierce was a big loss to our D you weren't. You weren't motivated and you would blow two plays for every big play you had. ST replaced you for big hits and fear. You don't need to guys like that on your team.

As for Brunell and dink and dunk. Look at these boards. I blasted the guy and still don't think he's great. But last week he had alot of big throws. As I told Fluffer, you can't just make stuff up. Come here with facts not opinions.

Posted by: Skinz | October 6, 2006 10:03 AM | Report abuse

N Dynamite was an ok film. I dont think it's a question of getting it. There isn't a whole lot to get. It's like saying you had to "get" American Pie. It's pretty much all out there.

I'd take Fletch 1 and 2, Holy Grail, Big Lebowski, Snatch and many others before Dynamite. I've never been able to make it through the whole movie.

Posted by: Skinz | October 6, 2006 10:09 AM | Report abuse

jaguars missed alot of tackles, see last one, safety totally whiffed on moss should have knocked him out.teams have bad games.redskin fans are kings of that excuse.our giants will show you that it was jaguars having a bad game not redskins having a good one.get boohoo boxes ready!

Posted by: lavar | October 6, 2006 10:10 AM | Report abuse

I hate this back and forth with LaVar (the real one, not the loser who goes by that name on this blog). I wish Lindsay and Springs had kept their mouths shut. Why bash one of the most popular Redskins in recent memory? Anyone remember the ovation he got when he returned to the field for the Niners game?

If there was a popularity contest in DC between LaVar and Dale Lindsay (who I wouldn't recognize if he bumped into me wearing a shirt that said "I'm Dale Lindsay"), I don't think that old Dale would like the outcome.

Posted by: Joe in Raleigh | October 6, 2006 10:15 AM | Report abuse

It's funny how guys always seem to have bad tackling days against people Like S. Moss, TO and Michael Vick. I'm sure it's just coincidence. Nothing to do with those players. You wouldn't happen to be Fluffers borther would you?

Posted by: Skinz | October 6, 2006 10:15 AM | Report abuse

someone must of thought i could play,most selling jersy of any redskin ever.maybe coaches didnt know how to use me.

Posted by: lavar | October 6, 2006 10:29 AM | Report abuse

Skinz, I think Napolean Dynamite is definitely a movie that some people don't get. It pokes fun at the high school experience in a way that some people don't relate to.

Also, both facts and opinions are welcome here.

Posted by: Joe in Raleigh | October 6, 2006 10:30 AM | Report abuse

Lavar would certainly know about missed tackles...

Posted by: pjhalifax | October 6, 2006 10:31 AM | Report abuse

Perhaps I should clarify. Stating opinions as facts is what I meant.

Posted by: Skinz | October 6, 2006 10:31 AM | Report abuse

I actually do "get" Napoleon Dyamite, I just don't find it to be all that funny. A few parts? Yes. The entire movie? Absolutely not.

I'm telling you all though, check out Jack Frost and Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman. Great stuff. And Shannon Elizabeth (from American Pie fame) makes her movie debut in the original Jack Frost. Classic, classic movie productions.

"Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position. Such a heavy burden now to be the One. Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending, To write it down for all the world to see. But I forgot my pen. Sh*t the bed again ...
Typical."

Posted by: Chief Clancy Wiggum | October 6, 2006 10:40 AM | Report abuse

get boohoo boxes ready!

Posted by: lavar | October 6, 2006 10:41 AM | Report abuse

What's a boohoo box? I've never heard of this. As far as I can tell the only other person who's ever said that was Fluffer. Could it be that the Fluff found his Caps Lock key?

"YOU SKINY FANS ARE IN FOR SOME REAL CRYBABY DAYS, GET THE BOOHOO BOXES READY,ITS PARCELLS 4TH YEAR,CHECK HISTORY!!"

Posted by: BOOFER ED STEVENS | September 21, 2006 09:28 AM

Posted by: Joe in Raleigh | October 6, 2006 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Unfortunately I think we all knew deep down inside that that is who it was. Jags/Boofer/"LaVar" all the same person. No big suprise.

Posted by: Megskin | October 6, 2006 10:53 AM | Report abuse

It was better when he kept Caps Lock on. Easier to tell which entries to skip.

Posted by: Joe in Raleigh | October 6, 2006 11:14 AM | Report abuse

So true Joe, so true.

Posted by: Megskin | October 6, 2006 11:25 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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